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Funny Stuff: The Funny Strikes Back


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3 hours ago, Azdeus said:

So I'm curious, do you have that lovely Polish accent or is that gone?

I was young enough when I got to Murica that I learned English as if it was my first language, hence no Polish accent. I guess my accent is Connecticut with a few southernisms I've picked up since moving to the Carolinas. I doubt I'll ever pick up a southern drawl, but if it happens it happens.

On the flip side, my Polish is quite weak. I can understand it fairly well and I can speak it well enough to get my point across, but with horrible grammar. 

Edited by Keyrock
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I wonder if there is beer on the sun

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^ That's not just Canada, geese are terrifying everywhere. If I'm on foot and I see geese, I give them a wide berth.

Birds are just ***holes in general. :-

Edited by Keyrock
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I wonder if there is beer on the sun

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15 minutes ago, Keyrock said:

^ That's not just Canada, geese are terrifying everywhere. If I'm on foot and I see geese, I give them a wide berth.

Birds are just ***holes in general. :-

 

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I'm the enemy, 'cause I like to think, I like to read. I'm into freedom of speech, and freedom of choice. I'm the kinda guy that likes to sit in a greasy spoon and wonder, "Gee, should I have the T-bone steak or the jumbo rack of barbecue ribs with the side-order of gravy fries?" I want high cholesterol! I wanna eat bacon, and butter, and buckets of cheese, okay?! I wanna smoke a Cuban cigar the size of Cincinnati in the non-smoking section! I wanna run naked through the street, with green Jell-O all over my body, reading Playboy magazine. Why? Because I suddenly may feel the need to, okay, pal? I've SEEN the future. Do you know what it is? It's a 47-year-old virgin sitting around in his beige pajamas, drinking a banana-broccoli shake, singing "I'm an Oscar Meyer Wiene"

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If traveling back in time was possible, the popular thing to do would be to kill Hitler before he rose to power. That's all well and good, but I'd kill whoever invented round shoelaces.

Seriously, who thought this was a good idea? Perfectly good flat shoelaces already existed, but what if we made them round so that they would come untied on their own constantly? Brilliant! :banghead:

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I wonder if there is beer on the sun

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On 8/26/2020 at 1:24 PM, ComradeMaster said:

I thought you were American?

And Nazi's: tidy on the outside, rotten on the inside.

 

"The man of virtuous soul commands not, nor obeys. Power, like a desolating pestilence, pollutes whate'er it touches; and obedience, bane of all genius, virtue, freedom, truth, makes slaves of men, and of the human frame a mechanized automaton."

P.B. Shelley

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1 hour ago, Keyrock said:

If traveling back in time was possible, the popular thing to do would be to kill Hitler before he rose to power. That's all well and good, but I'd kill whoever invented round shoelaces.

Seriously, who thought this was a good idea? Perfectly good flat shoelaces already existed, but what if we made them round so that they would come untied on their own constantly? Brilliant! :banghead:

They want them to come undone. Then you step on them, they get frayed and you buy more shoelaces! Why do you think the dentist gave you a lollipop when you were a kid????

BTW: If someone had a time machine and wanted to stop hitler they shouldn't go back and kill him. Go back and stop Teddy Roosevelt from running for President in 1912. But for him Taft would have been re-elected. The US stays out of WWI. The Central Powers still lose but the Treaty of Versailles is completely different. It is very likely the peace is more equitable. The Weimar Republic never exists, so it can't collapse. Hitler would have lived out his life as a architect and artist of middling ability in Vienna with a wife and a couple of kids. 

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"The man of virtuous soul commands not, nor obeys. Power, like a desolating pestilence, pollutes whate'er it touches; and obedience, bane of all genius, virtue, freedom, truth, makes slaves of men, and of the human frame a mechanized automaton."

P.B. Shelley

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Hey, you don't pee on in flight bird every day, i would remember it as well

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I'm the enemy, 'cause I like to think, I like to read. I'm into freedom of speech, and freedom of choice. I'm the kinda guy that likes to sit in a greasy spoon and wonder, "Gee, should I have the T-bone steak or the jumbo rack of barbecue ribs with the side-order of gravy fries?" I want high cholesterol! I wanna eat bacon, and butter, and buckets of cheese, okay?! I wanna smoke a Cuban cigar the size of Cincinnati in the non-smoking section! I wanna run naked through the street, with green Jell-O all over my body, reading Playboy magazine. Why? Because I suddenly may feel the need to, okay, pal? I've SEEN the future. Do you know what it is? It's a 47-year-old virgin sitting around in his beige pajamas, drinking a banana-broccoli shake, singing "I'm an Oscar Meyer Wiene"

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3 minutes ago, the_dog_days said:

I got pooped on not peed on. 😄

technically there is no difference when t comes to birds... also if you managed to poop on him mid flight your skills must be legendary

I'm the enemy, 'cause I like to think, I like to read. I'm into freedom of speech, and freedom of choice. I'm the kinda guy that likes to sit in a greasy spoon and wonder, "Gee, should I have the T-bone steak or the jumbo rack of barbecue ribs with the side-order of gravy fries?" I want high cholesterol! I wanna eat bacon, and butter, and buckets of cheese, okay?! I wanna smoke a Cuban cigar the size of Cincinnati in the non-smoking section! I wanna run naked through the street, with green Jell-O all over my body, reading Playboy magazine. Why? Because I suddenly may feel the need to, okay, pal? I've SEEN the future. Do you know what it is? It's a 47-year-old virgin sitting around in his beige pajamas, drinking a banana-broccoli shake, singing "I'm an Oscar Meyer Wiene"

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The words freedom and liberty, are diminishing the true meaning of the abstract concept they try to explain. The true nature of freedom is such, that the human mind is unable to comprehend it, so we make a cage and name it freedom in order to give a tangible meaning to what we dont understand, just as our ancestors made gods like Thor or Zeus to explain thunder.

 

-Teknoman2-

What? You thought it was a quote from some well known wise guy from the past?

 

Stupidity leads to willful ignorance - willful ignorance leads to hope - hope leads to sex - and that is how a new generation of fools is born!


We are hardcore role players... When we go to bed with a girl, we roll a D20 to see if we hit the target and a D6 to see how much penetration damage we did.

 

Modern democracy is: the sheep voting for which dog will be the shepherd's right hand.

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I also how many tribal lands were stolen by current tribes from tribes they completely wiped out. 😄 (not really funny though)

DWARVES IN PROJECT ETERNITY = VOLOURN HAS PLEDGED $250.

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Could we at least keep the Funny thread free of politics? Some of the stuff being posted isn't remotely funny and comes off as blatant propaganda. At least until we get back to some sense of normalcy.

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I'd say the answer to that question is kind of like the answer to "who's the sucker in this poker game?"*

 

*If you can't tell, it's you. ;)

village_idiot.gif

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4 hours ago, Skarpen said:

awBmZRB_460s.jpg

This doesn't really make sense.  Is it Europe criticizing the stolen land?  Pretty sure it's American citizens more than anyone else.  Also that is an issue in Canada.  It's not like no one realizes we also stole land.  I'm assuming it's the same in Australia...  

 

This really feels like projection.  America is criticized for their meddling and their power to do so... Not because the land is stolen...

Edited by Theonlygarby
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Yeah.. blame 'Amerikans' for stealing lands... last I check that was Europeans who did that...  And, Europe never 'meddles'. L0L And, Natives had a fun time stealing land. People continue to ignore that fact.

DWARVES IN PROJECT ETERNITY = VOLOURN HAS PLEDGED $250.

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118008429_3162249070495952_9127462028806

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"The man of virtuous soul commands not, nor obeys. Power, like a desolating pestilence, pollutes whate'er it touches; and obedience, bane of all genius, virtue, freedom, truth, makes slaves of men, and of the human frame a mechanized automaton."

P.B. Shelley

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i wish there was a way to stop myself from being a meatbag

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The words freedom and liberty, are diminishing the true meaning of the abstract concept they try to explain. The true nature of freedom is such, that the human mind is unable to comprehend it, so we make a cage and name it freedom in order to give a tangible meaning to what we dont understand, just as our ancestors made gods like Thor or Zeus to explain thunder.

 

-Teknoman2-

What? You thought it was a quote from some well known wise guy from the past?

 

Stupidity leads to willful ignorance - willful ignorance leads to hope - hope leads to sex - and that is how a new generation of fools is born!


We are hardcore role players... When we go to bed with a girl, we roll a D20 to see if we hit the target and a D6 to see how much penetration damage we did.

 

Modern democracy is: the sheep voting for which dog will be the shepherd's right hand.

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