Keyrock

They could have had Buckner. They could have had Ramsey. They took Zeke.

Oh God, Jerruh is on the phone... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! They took Zeke. The initial reaction: 5 minutes later:

To no one's surprise, Goff goes 1st and Wentz does 2nd. The first surprise of the night is Bosa going at #3 to the Rams (I have it on good authority that he's planning to celebrate by doing lines off a hooker's ass ), which is perfect since it still leaves Buckner on the table for the Boys. Come on Stephen, lock Jerruh in a closet, chloroform him, do whatever it takes to pick Buckner here. Pleas God no Zeke. Please God no Paxton.

If Dallas picks Paxton Lynch in the 1st round I'm going to eat 6 straight meals at Taco Bell then **** in a bag and mail it to Jerruh.

If the so called experts are to be believed then the first 3 picks should be Goff, Wentz, and Tunsil, meaning the Boys should have their pick of DEs, or any position other than QB or OT, for that matter.

I loved the 2013 reboot and this looks like even more over the top goofy killing fun. Excitement Level = Fully Erect.

Even with both your starting DEs suspended the first 4 games? I'm going to be stunned if that's not a DE. I'd take DeForest Buckner over Joey Bosa or Shaq Lawson if I was making the pick at #4. Not only does Buckner not carry the drug/partying concerns with him that Bosa does, I think he's an overall better prospect than Lawson. So long as they take one of those 3 guys at #4 I won't lose my ****, but if they take Zeke at #4 I'm flipping a ****ing table.

Hilariously ludicrous backstory aside, I'm down to play this once the Linux version comes out.

Dear Lord, that shirt

Best of luck to them, I'd definitely like to see what 2 of the pioneers of FPS come up with. That said, it's being crowdfunded and I'm done with crowdfunding, so I'll pass. If and when it gets released, I'll consider it then.

The Steph Curry health concerns and the Celtics/Hawks series have been the only remotely interesting things about the NBA playoffs so far. Not that it's surprising, round 1 tends to be a snoozefest.

In fairness, Schroeder has a very slappable face.

Twice baked potatoes

More Spirits of Xanadu. I gotta say, alternate reality 1983 is pretty rad. I mean, Bruce Lee apparently didn't die under mysterious circumstances, which is a plus. Also, now I don't think I'm time traveling any more... maybe. But I'm pretty sure I'm starting to lose my mind... the character in the game, not me playing the game... me losing my mind in real life is a completely separate issue not related in any way to this game.

Let the outrage begin anew.

Scooped up a game called Spirits of Xanadu for the price of a cup of coffee on sale. The game starts out much like Dead Space. You're a guy sent to investigate a derelict ship and to get it back home to Earth. As you can imagine, everybody on board is dead and there are murder robots, as is usually the case (If there's one thing video games have taught me is that robots are ****s and they will eventually try to murder you). While the game has plenty of shooty shooty, that doesn't seem to be the focus, instead it's more a mystery/adventure/puzzle game where you try to figure out what horrible things happened and how to get the ship working again. Also, it's set in an alternate 1983 and I may have time traveled after I died (death is not a failure state in the game, at least not so far). It's definitely interesting so far and thankfully it looks like the death robots don't respawn after you destroy them. Hopefully there is a finite amount of them aboard the ship so I can eventually destroy them all and not have to worry about them trying to murder me, as I'm not keen on the shooty shooty bits, I'm mostly in it to enjoy piecing together the story and solving the puzzles.

@KaineParker I approve of your platform, sir.

Vote for Gorth! (insert long list of election promises that are obviously not intended to be honoured post-election) I think the question on everyone's mind, in regards to your platform, is whether you'd build a wall. Actually I want to know who you are going to make pay for it. My assumption was, were Gorth to build a wall, that he'd use cheap child labor, at which point the cost becomes negligible. It's the ethical thing to do. We get an inexpensive wall and the children learn valuable labor skills that they can apply later in life. It's a win-win situation. I've even got a campaign slogan made up: "Putting Our Youth To Work For A Brighter Future"

Vote for Gorth! (insert long list of election promises that are obviously not intended to be honoured post-election) I think the question on everyone's mind, in regards to your platform, is whether you'd build a wall.

That's some Alice in Wonderland **** right there.

No need for an essay when a clause will do. Succinct, to the point and gets the important take home message across as quickly and easily as possible. Good luck convincing him of that. At least it wasn't overly whiney though. Indeed, hence why I completely stopped trying long ago. It's futile. Anyway, here's a funny Hillary picture. I think this one isn't even doctored.

^ Dat thousand yard stare

Dat creepy Bernie smile tho