Monte Carlo

Boo, the wheel turns and we are at the crappy end of that CRPG-wise. Just sit out and wait for the next full revolution. The good news is that CRPGs at the more modest end of the scale can still be good. Take two different ends of the spectrum like Torchlight (H&S) and Escalon (utter old-skool). You still have high-end stuff like Bethseda and CDProjeckt too. The glass is half-full, not half-empty. As Bio goes in it's own direction towards a new, very different and mainstream CRPG market you have to see the classic equal and opposite reaction elsewhere. Because Bio's new direction is so freaking lame, so freaking vanilla, so utterly devoid of soul the reaction to it is probably going to be awesome and we can't predict what it might be. So chill.

So, this game is a piece of pernicious watermelon propaganda that endorses bogus Malthusian ideas and generally encourages the humans-as-parasites-on-Gaia myth?

I'm not being obtuse, Boo, because I think we are generally in agreement on these issues, but you are mistaken here IMO. Bio are simply riding the commercial wave and shoe-horning their games into the format that makes them more money, after all they are a business not a charity for niche gamers. Forget them, support indie developers and look elsewhere. Take heart that Bio will eventually be shat out of the end of the EA digestive tract like those who went before, Greg & Ray have made their (seriously, much-deserved) fortunes. Bioware's legacy won't be what they did at the end of their existence as a developer, it will be what they did originally, which deserves respect. But right now? Forget it.

I have stared death in the face and won. The end result (Friday afternoon until now) was a slab of strong-ish (5.5%) Belgian beer, i.e. 16 500 ml cans, 4 bottles of half-decent red wine and three or four (I'm sure you'll forgive the memory problem) cheeky cognacs. I also smoked three Romeo Y Julietta No. 2s, having run out of Bolivars. I also irritated Krezack, a karmic reward if there ever was one (awww, Krezzie!). I feel great. I was a bit fuzzy this morning but nothing some bacon, eggs and cognac couldn't sort out. My wife was away visiting family and arrived home to learn of my heroism: she is extremely proud. I am now on the 5th bottle of claret although I am going to skip booze entirely for the next twelve hours to de-tox. The only casualty was that I was so drunk I watched Legion on the TV, please see my drunken review on the movie thread. Ha! Reaper! Screw you! Cheers MC

The problem is (a) the end of no-win-no-fee and (b) it's a criminal, not civil prosecution. But I'm sure there's a firebrand lawyer out there with some fire in his or her belly.

The weather is unseasonably warm in the UK this weekend so I am off to the pub with my family, after which I am inviting a friend over and firing up my BBQ. Have popped open the first beer of the day, as per our WWOT forum's titanic struggle against Death. Yum. Heroism was never this much fun.

I love TW but gave up when they released Empires (I find the period a bit meh), and as I'm not a fan of the Shogun setting either I doubt that I'll be getting this one either. MTW2 is now at the pinnacle of modding awe, I play that a helluva lot, it's still a fabulous game.

... I'm pretty sure that generally reports of numbers are "x shipped", but I've never seen "x sold" mean anything else than "x sold". Because that would be kind of serious case of misleading by a listed company. I mean, the two can get confused when laymen come here with their numbers, but if the company is saying "x sold", then it sure as hell should be "x sold"! IIRC the newspaper industry (dead tree) has always operated like this in terms of circulation.

Krezack: Because someone, somewhere, might be enjoying themselves. Haunt another thread, miserabilist.

MORALE VAMPIRE ALERT!

I think the best way forward is to relax and wait for EA's own figures, after their digital, GotY and DA2: Gold (etc etc) editions are done. The successful lifespan of a game nowadays moves beyond the first heady quarter after release. DA2 wil have sold well across all platforms and be commercially successful, it's a given. The economic environment is tough, games are luxury products, Bio have done well with what is by any objective standard a controversial product. So chill.

Wish I'd known about that one, I'd have played it at my wedding

No, I think that's another thread. BUT JUST SAY NO I am a fine figure of a man and I have never taken drugs apart from alcohol and tobacco rolled on the thighs of hot Cuban chicks.

It's part of the forum's battle with the grim reaper, we are giving him the middle finger by drinking heavily.

^ Thanks dude, at least I saw it on TV for free. I'd feel robbed and violated if I'd paid money.

OK, I know I've had a drink or three but I'm sure that wasn't the reason Legion was so bonkers. The movie starts with fallen angel Paul Bettany (that's right, I thought he was a serious ac-tor too) landing in a heap in L.A. the day before Christmas Eve. It's raining, and he's hiding behind a dustbin and it's a complete homage to the start of Terminator, but these movie school brats were in nappies in 1984 so they think they're being clever. To prove the point Paul (actually he is the Angel Michael but that's not important right now) cuts his angelic wings off with a knife, then sews up the wounds a la John Rambo in First Blood (which was in 1982, when these movie school brats were actually swimming around in pa's ballsack). Not to waste time, Paul wanders into a toy factory and finds... A HI-TECH ARMOURY (which references the "Guns...lots of guns" line uttered by Neo in the first Matrix Movie, hey these movie school brats were probably making their first movies on camcorders by then and applying for film school). Anyhoo God has had enough of the human race and is sending a strange apocalyptic... ZOMBIE INFESTATION (it's meant to be demonic but trust me it pillages every zombie meme going). I could go on, but FFS they all end up in a diner in the desert run by Dennis Quaid (Why, Dennis? WHY?). There's a pregnant chick who's gonna drop the new messiah and the demon / zombie / apocalyptic servants of God want to kill it. I know, it really is as bad as it sounds and it's a shame because with his eerie good looks, cut glass accent and lanky build Paul Bettany is a surprisingly good action hero. He could do James Bond easily. Anyway at this point the movie turns into an ersatz version of The Mist (2007, these guys have no excuse). Random people trapped in diner have drama defending themselves from horrific phenomenon. Then (FFS!) the angel Gabriel (this film is nothing if not completely blasphemous, Organised Religion fans) appears dressed like Brian Blessed as Prince Vultan appears with an electric mace and kills everybody trying to slay the baby. Paul and Gabriel used to hang out in heaven and were buddies but it all went wrong. :: sigh :: Paul dies (sad face). Yadda yadda, Dennis Quaid blows up the diner and kills the zombies, Prince Vultan jumps on a car and it crashes but then there's another fight (if Glenn Close had large feathery angel wings this really could be the last twenty minutes of Fatal Attraction) but at the vital moment PAUL RETURNS WITH HIS WINGS and spares Gabriel before flying off to heaven (I know, you think I'm making this stuff up, don't you?). The mom and her erstwhile not-quite-boyfriend drive off into a survivalist sunset with the messiah gurgling happily. Their station wagon is full of guns. I finished my drink, completely gob-smacked and not a little impressed that somebody had pitched this nonsense and got it funded. Although this film is awful, I mean really, really bad I still implore you to watch it. It's so bonkers I want somebody else to post about it so I can relax in the knowledge I didn't imagine it all. Cheers MC

Guard Dog, I've drunk it myself in the states so if you can get hold of a six-pack of Fuller's London Pride then you might enjoy it, one of my favourite session beers. Anything by Badger tends to be good too. Wals will be winging in soon no doubt. Any IPA (India Pale Ale) is likely to be good, and popular abroad as it is designed to be drunk at a cooler temperature than most English beer.

Yep, works for me. Maybe enhanced criticals / stun / multiple hits like John Woo or whatever. It's an 'Awesomeness' metric.

The American Slow-burn, thoughtful thriller with George Clooney as an assassin hiding out in rural Italy. I liked the setting, the slow pace, the twist in the tale. A classic example of show-don't-tell movie making. Unstoppable Crash-bang-wallop runaway train thriller directed by Tony Scott with the ever-dependable Denzel Washington (I love Denzel, I really do). A popcorn movie but, hey, an old-fashioned strangely low-tech thriller (it's about locomotives, right? Even the map in the control room has little bulbs on it rather than a Gucci plasma screen) is a nice change and there are no guns or terrorists. It's also just the right length.

Here's a revolutionary new idea that I'm positive hasn't ever been implemented in any shooter or CRPG with firearms... EVAR! Options > Gameplay > Toggle realistic firearms dynamics ON / OFF (On - your firearms skill is more important than your manual skill with the mouse, the reverse is true if you switch this option Off) So, you might ask, does this option mean that you can skill-dump elsewhere as firearms skill as opposed to mouse precision is meaningless in this context? Yep. So what? Either that or slave the option to the difficulty slider. I really liked the Alpha Protocol firearms dynamic personally, but then again I'm not much of a FPS gamer.

I'd chip in a contribution to a private prosecution because that's frickin' outrageous.

I am a Brandy quaffing fairy, well cognac. Over here cognac goes with cigars like beef goes with mustard. I am inclined to agree with you on Maker's Mark, possibly the only bourbon left I drink, and I don't drink malt whisky at all anymore (Glenmorangie or Glenturret were my preferred poisons). Nowadays it's beer, cognac and wine. As for Bass, I know it's improbably popular in the colonies but you are really only dipping a tiny fraction of your toe into the vast ocean of epic goodness that is British (and I do mean British as opposed to English) beer. Sam Adams? Er, no.

Speak for yourself!

Ren Fair warriors ain't noted for historic authenticity. That isn't Milanese influenced I don't think.

Can you have sex in CoD2?