Monte Carlo

No, I think that's another thread. BUT JUST SAY NO I am a fine figure of a man and I have never taken drugs apart from alcohol and tobacco rolled on the thighs of hot Cuban chicks.

It's part of the forum's battle with the grim reaper, we are giving him the middle finger by drinking heavily.

^ Thanks dude, at least I saw it on TV for free. I'd feel robbed and violated if I'd paid money.

OK, I know I've had a drink or three but I'm sure that wasn't the reason Legion was so bonkers. The movie starts with fallen angel Paul Bettany (that's right, I thought he was a serious ac-tor too) landing in a heap in L.A. the day before Christmas Eve. It's raining, and he's hiding behind a dustbin and it's a complete homage to the start of Terminator, but these movie school brats were in nappies in 1984 so they think they're being clever. To prove the point Paul (actually he is the Angel Michael but that's not important right now) cuts his angelic wings off with a knife, then sews up the wounds a la John Rambo in First Blood (which was in 1982, when these movie school brats were actually swimming around in pa's ballsack). Not to waste time, Paul wanders into a toy factory and finds... A HI-TECH ARMOURY (which references the "Guns...lots of guns" line uttered by Neo in the first Matrix Movie, hey these movie school brats were probably making their first movies on camcorders by then and applying for film school). Anyhoo God has had enough of the human race and is sending a strange apocalyptic... ZOMBIE INFESTATION (it's meant to be demonic but trust me it pillages every zombie meme going). I could go on, but FFS they all end up in a diner in the desert run by Dennis Quaid (Why, Dennis? WHY?). There's a pregnant chick who's gonna drop the new messiah and the demon / zombie / apocalyptic servants of God want to kill it. I know, it really is as bad as it sounds and it's a shame because with his eerie good looks, cut glass accent and lanky build Paul Bettany is a surprisingly good action hero. He could do James Bond easily. Anyway at this point the movie turns into an ersatz version of The Mist (2007, these guys have no excuse). Random people trapped in diner have drama defending themselves from horrific phenomenon. Then (FFS!) the angel Gabriel (this film is nothing if not completely blasphemous, Organised Religion fans) appears dressed like Brian Blessed as Prince Vultan appears with an electric mace and kills everybody trying to slay the baby. Paul and Gabriel used to hang out in heaven and were buddies but it all went wrong. :: sigh :: Paul dies (sad face). Yadda yadda, Dennis Quaid blows up the diner and kills the zombies, Prince Vultan jumps on a car and it crashes but then there's another fight (if Glenn Close had large feathery angel wings this really could be the last twenty minutes of Fatal Attraction) but at the vital moment PAUL RETURNS WITH HIS WINGS and spares Gabriel before flying off to heaven (I know, you think I'm making this stuff up, don't you?). The mom and her erstwhile not-quite-boyfriend drive off into a survivalist sunset with the messiah gurgling happily. Their station wagon is full of guns. I finished my drink, completely gob-smacked and not a little impressed that somebody had pitched this nonsense and got it funded. Although this film is awful, I mean really, really bad I still implore you to watch it. It's so bonkers I want somebody else to post about it so I can relax in the knowledge I didn't imagine it all. Cheers MC

Guard Dog, I've drunk it myself in the states so if you can get hold of a six-pack of Fuller's London Pride then you might enjoy it, one of my favourite session beers. Anything by Badger tends to be good too. Wals will be winging in soon no doubt. Any IPA (India Pale Ale) is likely to be good, and popular abroad as it is designed to be drunk at a cooler temperature than most English beer.

Yep, works for me. Maybe enhanced criticals / stun / multiple hits like John Woo or whatever. It's an 'Awesomeness' metric.

The American Slow-burn, thoughtful thriller with George Clooney as an assassin hiding out in rural Italy. I liked the setting, the slow pace, the twist in the tale. A classic example of show-don't-tell movie making. Unstoppable Crash-bang-wallop runaway train thriller directed by Tony Scott with the ever-dependable Denzel Washington (I love Denzel, I really do). A popcorn movie but, hey, an old-fashioned strangely low-tech thriller (it's about locomotives, right? Even the map in the control room has little bulbs on it rather than a Gucci plasma screen) is a nice change and there are no guns or terrorists. It's also just the right length.

Here's a revolutionary new idea that I'm positive hasn't ever been implemented in any shooter or CRPG with firearms... EVAR! Options > Gameplay > Toggle realistic firearms dynamics ON / OFF (On - your firearms skill is more important than your manual skill with the mouse, the reverse is true if you switch this option Off) So, you might ask, does this option mean that you can skill-dump elsewhere as firearms skill as opposed to mouse precision is meaningless in this context? Yep. So what? Either that or slave the option to the difficulty slider. I really liked the Alpha Protocol firearms dynamic personally, but then again I'm not much of a FPS gamer.

I'd chip in a contribution to a private prosecution because that's frickin' outrageous.

I am a Brandy quaffing fairy, well cognac. Over here cognac goes with cigars like beef goes with mustard. I am inclined to agree with you on Maker's Mark, possibly the only bourbon left I drink, and I don't drink malt whisky at all anymore (Glenmorangie or Glenturret were my preferred poisons). Nowadays it's beer, cognac and wine. As for Bass, I know it's improbably popular in the colonies but you are really only dipping a tiny fraction of your toe into the vast ocean of epic goodness that is British (and I do mean British as opposed to English) beer. Sam Adams? Er, no.

Speak for yourself!

Ren Fair warriors ain't noted for historic authenticity. That isn't Milanese influenced I don't think.

Can you have sex in CoD2?

Oh, and I've been listening to lots of early Prince in my car, which has been a funky experience.

Honestly, try Frank Sinatra, it's surreal but kinda groovy... Player: My Death Angels unleash their heavy bolters at the Ork skirmishers! [Fly me to the moon / Let me sing among those stars / Let me see what spring is like / On jupiter and mars / In other words, hold my hand / In other words, baby kiss me / Fill my heart with song / Let me sing for ever more / You are all I long for / All I worship and adore / In other words, please be true / In other words, I love you] Player: Er, OK.

In real life... like you have a time machine and went back to take that photo of Joan of Arc? Whoah!

Maybe you tee-totallers should start your own thread where you can enjoy your sobriety / superior taste in waccy baccy / etc and leave us drunks to it.

Actually I didn't realise that what what you meant. I do think it's delightful they you want an apology because you were actually insulting a more diverse group of people. Fail. El Oh El. You respond with an insult to a question asking about sexuality, and I'm at fault for not realising your insult had nothing to do with sexuality. You ask for an apology in the same post you call me a half-wit. You're a fool. We should stop arguing in this thread, suffice it to say I'm a fool and you're snide, snarky and disingenous. OK?

I find it hypocritical that you people are perfectly will to ignore any health advice about alcohol and pretend it is completely safe whilst simultaneously willing to judge and lecture those of us who partake in what are in fact healthier drugs such as psychedelics or marijuana. I was wondering when the Morale Vampire would show up.

I find the sex in The Witcher tiresome and borderline puerile. Then again, it's sort of a break from the Bioware-as-Joss-Wheedon nonsense too. TW is an Eastern European game, so it's sensibilities are different from politically-correct kuddly Kanada. I understand that. For me, personally, I'd prefer there to be no sexualised romances in games. Whatsoever. Why? 1. Personal preference, obviously 2. Whoever writes them appears to have had limited experience of R/L 'romance' 3. Wouldn't it be refreshing to have a meaningful yet platonic relationship in a CRPG? They did it in DA:O with Sten to a certain extent. 4. You are pandering to a customer base who will always want MOAR. Needy, squee-mongers. Deny that Bioware haven't been completely misdirected by romances - their games are now predicated on romanceable NPCs and yes their omni-sexuality is more about assets re-use than about characterization (just like the environments) which makes it doubly lame. Make character 'A' straight, make character 'B' gay and make character 'C' bi... I couldn't care less but at least make the freaking characters consistent. All Gaider is saying is that he has to satisfy the voracious romance-hungry fanbase and is thus forced to make all characters romanceable. It's a corner he's painted himself into. 5. As per my point above the romance-beast eats up asset time that could be put into something else, accessible to everybody. That's my main beef with them, but hey as we can see Bio have made themselves the romance-simulator purveyors of choice which is why I'll never buy any of their games again. So I can see why some gamers peversely support the antediluvian position The Witcher takes apropos sexualit. I don't personally, but at least it provides an asset-lite alternative to the button-mash / Twilight / button-mash of the Bio experience.

Realistic, non-boob enhancing armour? It'll never catch on.

Actually I didn't realise that what what you meant. I do think it's delightful they you want an apology because you were actually insulting a more diverse group of people. Fail.

Don't misquote me, please find one example of anything remotely homophobic I've ever posted. Half-wit. The whole emo-romance Bio thing, with people devoting hundreds of pages of fan-slobbering over imaginary NPCs is creepy. That's what I meant, you know that's what I meant so that was a cheap slur. An apology would be helpful.

About that, are they all really bisexual, or do they just have some sort of Schr

Why not pack the claymore mine with candy, sort of turn it into a dynamic pinata?