Monday, Janurary 12th, 1902; Posted: 5:03 a.m. EDT (09:03 GMT)
Moscow, Russia (AP) - European War Impacts Russian
Tzar Ender Wiggin the Great canceled the first ever National Vodka Month, to instead offer up a National Month of Morning in the wake of war tragically breaking out across Eastern Europe.
Some of Wiggins dertractors criticized that the month ending up being much the same. The same detractors were later reported missing.
Despite the detractors, Wiggin seemed soberly sincere when he offered up the following quote.
"It is most unfortunate that the egos of a few imperialistic leaders is deemed more important than the lives of countless Europeans. Any hostility towards the people of Russia will be met with prompt and necessary force, but it is our desire to see these hostilities end soon. Sadly, in these trying times, it may be necessary for a strong and selfless leader to unite the people of Easter Europe under one peaceful banner and bring an end to the bloodshed that we currently endure."
And then the Tzar was seen wiping away his tears with a bottle of Vodka.