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Funny Posts - New and Improved with Same Great Taste

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"It has just been discovered that research causes cancer in rats."

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OoBOxr0PpMBmYhp7H95f1rJno95FjoHAMlTucvHj

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The words freedom and liberty, are diminishing the true meaning of the abstract concept they try to explain. The true nature of freedom is such, that the human mind is unable to comprehend it, so we make a cage and name it freedom in order to give a tangible meaning to what we dont understand, just as our ancestors made gods like Thor or Zeus to explain thunder.

 

-Teknoman2-

What? You thought it was a quote from some well known wise guy from the past?

 

Stupidity leads to willful ignorance - willful ignorance leads to hope - hope leads to sex - and that is how a new generation of fools is born!


We are hardcore role players... When we go to bed with a girl, we roll a D20 to see if we hit the target and a D6 to see how much penetration damage we did.

 

Modern democracy is: the sheep voting for which dog will be the shepherd's right hand.

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The words freedom and liberty, are diminishing the true meaning of the abstract concept they try to explain. The true nature of freedom is such, that the human mind is unable to comprehend it, so we make a cage and name it freedom in order to give a tangible meaning to what we dont understand, just as our ancestors made gods like Thor or Zeus to explain thunder.

 

-Teknoman2-

What? You thought it was a quote from some well known wise guy from the past?

 

Stupidity leads to willful ignorance - willful ignorance leads to hope - hope leads to sex - and that is how a new generation of fools is born!


We are hardcore role players... When we go to bed with a girl, we roll a D20 to see if we hit the target and a D6 to see how much penetration damage we did.

 

Modern democracy is: the sheep voting for which dog will be the shepherd's right hand.

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wil-weaton.jpg

  • Like 13

"It has just been discovered that research causes cancer in rats."

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Cover your eyes, Grandma...


"It has just been discovered that research causes cancer in rats."

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"It has just been discovered that research causes cancer in rats."

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sometimes-the-joke-writes-itself.jpg

 

This can't be coincidental. It just cannot be... can it?

 

Anyway, I applaud any anchor(wo)man who is able to deliver such a headline with a straight face.

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  • Like 1

The words freedom and liberty, are diminishing the true meaning of the abstract concept they try to explain. The true nature of freedom is such, that the human mind is unable to comprehend it, so we make a cage and name it freedom in order to give a tangible meaning to what we dont understand, just as our ancestors made gods like Thor or Zeus to explain thunder.

 

-Teknoman2-

What? You thought it was a quote from some well known wise guy from the past?

 

Stupidity leads to willful ignorance - willful ignorance leads to hope - hope leads to sex - and that is how a new generation of fools is born!


We are hardcore role players... When we go to bed with a girl, we roll a D20 to see if we hit the target and a D6 to see how much penetration damage we did.

 

Modern democracy is: the sheep voting for which dog will be the shepherd's right hand.

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A US Navy aviator I follow on Quora had this question put to him:

 

 

 

Do pilots have to be perfect in all aspects of their lives?

 

His answer:

 

 

 

Perfection in all aspects of one’s life is not a requirement to pilot an aircraft. It’s simply a coincidence that most of us happen to be perfect. You needn’t ask us, though; check with our ex-wives, bankruptcy attorneys, hair restoration clinicians, and orthopedic surgeons. They have the skinny.
  • Like 3

Quote
"Turned wrong way round, the relentless unforeseen was what we schoolchildren studied as 'History,' harmless history, where everything unexpected in its own time is chronicled on the page as inevitable. The terror of the unforeseen is what the science of history hides, turning a disaster into an epic.”

 

-Philip Roth, The Plot Against America

 

Quote
"Always write angry letters to your enemies. Never mail them."

 

-James Fallows

 

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Some dude's comment on Death Magnetic's production

 

 


MASTERED BY MUPPETS

End of session day, Rubin works away:
I'm your source of song-destruction
Tunes that hurt you ear, poor sound engineer
Leaving spikes on my instruction
Trust me you will see
Volumes all you need
Dedicated to
How I'll limit you

Compressing faster
Limit your Master
Your albums sell faster
With a loud Master
Master

Mastered by muppets, brickwalling your dreams
Clipping, distorting and smashing extremes
Ruined by me, you can't hear a thing
Just spiking snares, and auto-tuned screams
Mastered
Mastered
Rubins my name, and I'll hear you scream
Bastard
Bastard

Need to mix this way, never you dismay
Loud makes death magnetic clearer
Gain monopoly, ritual Waves L3
Squash your tracks til its severe
Gate and you will see
More and more dB
Dedicated to
How Im killing you

Compressing faster
Limit your Master
Your albums sell faster
With a loud Master
Master

Mastered by muppets, brickwalling your dreams
Clipping, distorting and smashing extremes
Ruined by me, you can't hear a thing
Just spiking snares, and auto-tuned screams
Mastered
Mastered
Rubins my name, and I'll hear you scream
Bastard
Bastard

Master, Master, where's the version I've been after?
Bearded, Bastard, you promised only lies
Blaster, Blaster, recorded on a ghetto blaster?
Laughter, laughter, laughing at those highs
Spike to me!

Lars aint worth all that natural kick and hats
Kirk adds wah without a reason
Never ending phrase, Jaymz goes on for days
Rob, your shirt is out of season
Ill record til 5 (then)
I will help you buy
Sandals that suit you
Now you look cool too

 

http://www.ultimatemetal.com/forum/threads/mastered-by-muppets-death-magnetic.428856/

  • Like 1

Why has elegance found so little following? Elegance has the disadvantage that hard work is needed to achieve it and a good education to appreciate it. - Edsger Wybe Dijkstra

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"I care nothing for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not the better for it"

Abraham Lincoln

 

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^^Thats a grody looking sphincter.

 

^Anthropomorphism.


image,Gfted1,black,red.png

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No it's cultural appropriation! I'm a homo sapian and I am OFFENDED that this gorilla mimics a gesture that is sacred to my people.

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"I care nothing for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not the better for it"

Abraham Lincoln

 

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How apeist of you. Hominidity-politics is ruining our ability to communicate amongst ourselves.

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Best news broadcast ever!

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Syjp9lsWBhc

 

Yes I know... not real. But very funny.

Edited by Guard Dog
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"I care nothing for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not the better for it"

Abraham Lincoln

 

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Best news broadcast ever!

 

 

Yes I know... not real. But very funny.

Doubted it was real either as there’s no way it would keep rolling that long.

 

 

"Jonathan Pie" is a fairly long running fictitious spoof news reporter played by Tom Walker.

And is usually quite spot on with a lot of the things he's ranted over, although he's also played somewhat deliberately contrarian as well.

 

BBC - Some people think I'm really Jonathan Pie


"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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Did you not see his Trump  diatribe?

 

Warning, there is some bad language..

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLG9g7BcjKs

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"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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I thought it was more of a journalists gone off experimenting with "nu-media" sort of thing

 

I always knew the rants were scripted bits though

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"It has just been discovered that research causes cancer in rats."

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