Jump to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.
Obsidian Forum Community

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.
The Community Blog (An Invitation)
New Community Blog (The Unintentional Gatekeeping of Video Games)

Funny Posts - New and Improved with Same Great Taste

Amentep
in Way Off-Topic

Featured Replies

New thread for the funny stuff.

 

I cannot - yet I must. How do you calculate that? At what point on the graph do "must" and "cannot" meet? Yet I must - but I cannot! ~ Ro-Man

    • Like 1

    when-youre-old.jpg

    "It has just been discovered that research causes cancer in rats."

    •
    • Like 4

    OoBOxr0PpMBmYhp7H95f1rJno95FjoHAMlTucvHj

    The words freedom and liberty, are diminishing the true meaning of the abstract concept they try to explain. The true nature of freedom is such, that the human mind is unable to comprehend it, so we make a cage and name it freedom in order to give a tangible meaning to what we dont understand, just as our ancestors made gods like Thor or Zeus to explain thunder.

     

    -Teknoman2-

    What? You thought it was a quote from some well known wise guy from the past?

     

    Stupidity leads to willful ignorance - willful ignorance leads to hope - hope leads to sex - and that is how a new generation of fools is born!


    We are hardcore role players... When we go to bed with a girl, we roll a D20 to see if we hit the target and a D6 to see how much penetration damage we did.

     

    Modern democracy is: the sheep voting for which dog will be the shepherd's right hand.

    •
    • Like 1

    6cd.jpg

    The words freedom and liberty, are diminishing the true meaning of the abstract concept they try to explain. The true nature of freedom is such, that the human mind is unable to comprehend it, so we make a cage and name it freedom in order to give a tangible meaning to what we dont understand, just as our ancestors made gods like Thor or Zeus to explain thunder.

     

    -Teknoman2-

    What? You thought it was a quote from some well known wise guy from the past?

     

    Stupidity leads to willful ignorance - willful ignorance leads to hope - hope leads to sex - and that is how a new generation of fools is born!


    We are hardcore role players... When we go to bed with a girl, we roll a D20 to see if we hit the target and a D6 to see how much penetration damage we did.

     

    Modern democracy is: the sheep voting for which dog will be the shepherd's right hand.

    wil-weaton.jpg

    "It has just been discovered that research causes cancer in rats."

    •
    • Like 13

    1-28.jpg

     

    Cover your eyes, Grandma...

    "It has just been discovered that research causes cancer in rats."

    sometimes-the-joke-writes-itself.jpg

    "It has just been discovered that research causes cancer in rats."

    •
    • Like 9

    sometimes-the-joke-writes-itself.jpg

     

    This can't be coincidental. It just cannot be... can it?

     

    Anyway, I applaud any anchor(wo)man who is able to deliver such a headline with a straight face.

    https://i.imgur.com/arlVSc4.mp4

    The words freedom and liberty, are diminishing the true meaning of the abstract concept they try to explain. The true nature of freedom is such, that the human mind is unable to comprehend it, so we make a cage and name it freedom in order to give a tangible meaning to what we dont understand, just as our ancestors made gods like Thor or Zeus to explain thunder.

     

    -Teknoman2-

    What? You thought it was a quote from some well known wise guy from the past?

     

    Stupidity leads to willful ignorance - willful ignorance leads to hope - hope leads to sex - and that is how a new generation of fools is born!


    We are hardcore role players... When we go to bed with a girl, we roll a D20 to see if we hit the target and a D6 to see how much penetration damage we did.

     

    Modern democracy is: the sheep voting for which dog will be the shepherd's right hand.

    •
    • Like 1

    A US Navy aviator I follow on Quora had this question put to him:

     

     

     

    Do pilots have to be perfect in all aspects of their lives?

     

    His answer:

     

     

     

    Perfection in all aspects of one’s life is not a requirement to pilot an aircraft. It’s simply a coincidence that most of us happen to be perfect. You needn’t ask us, though; check with our ex-wives, bankruptcy attorneys, hair restoration clinicians, and orthopedic surgeons. They have the skinny.
    Quote
    “Political philosophers have often pointed out that in wartime, the citizen, the male citizen at least, loses one of his most basic rights, his right to life; and this has been true ever since the French Revolution and the invention of conscription, now an almost universally accepted principle. But these same philosophers have rarely noted that the citizen in question simultaneously loses another right, one just as basic and perhaps even more vital for his conception of himself as a civilized human being: the right not to kill.”
     
    -Jonathan Littell <<Les Bienveillantes>>
    Quote

    "The chancellor, the late chancellor, was only partly correct. He was obsolete. But so is the State, the entity he worshipped. Any state, entity, or ideology becomes obsolete when it stockpiles the wrong weapons: when it captures territories, but not minds; when it enslaves millions, but convinces nobody. When it is naked, yet puts on armor and calls it faith, while in the Eyes of God it has no faith at all. Any state, any entity, any ideology that fails to recognize the worth, the dignity, the rights of Man...that state is obsolete."

    -Rod Serling

     

    • Like 3

    Some dude's comment on Death Magnetic's production

     

     


    MASTERED BY MUPPETS

    End of session day, Rubin works away:
    I'm your source of song-destruction
    Tunes that hurt you ear, poor sound engineer
    Leaving spikes on my instruction
    Trust me you will see
    Volumes all you need
    Dedicated to
    How I'll limit you

    Compressing faster
    Limit your Master
    Your albums sell faster
    With a loud Master
    Master

    Mastered by muppets, brickwalling your dreams
    Clipping, distorting and smashing extremes
    Ruined by me, you can't hear a thing
    Just spiking snares, and auto-tuned screams
    Mastered
    Mastered
    Rubins my name, and I'll hear you scream
    Bastard
    Bastard

    Need to mix this way, never you dismay
    Loud makes death magnetic clearer
    Gain monopoly, ritual Waves L3
    Squash your tracks til its severe
    Gate and you will see
    More and more dB
    Dedicated to
    How Im killing you

    Compressing faster
    Limit your Master
    Your albums sell faster
    With a loud Master
    Master

    Mastered by muppets, brickwalling your dreams
    Clipping, distorting and smashing extremes
    Ruined by me, you can't hear a thing
    Just spiking snares, and auto-tuned screams
    Mastered
    Mastered
    Rubins my name, and I'll hear you scream
    Bastard
    Bastard

    Master, Master, where's the version I've been after?
    Bearded, Bastard, you promised only lies
    Blaster, Blaster, recorded on a ghetto blaster?
    Laughter, laughter, laughing at those highs
    Spike to me!

    Lars aint worth all that natural kick and hats
    Kirk adds wah without a reason
    Never ending phrase, Jaymz goes on for days
    Rob, your shirt is out of season
    Ill record til 5 (then)
    I will help you buy
    Sandals that suit you
    Now you look cool too

     

    http://www.ultimatemetal.com/forum/threads/mastered-by-muppets-death-magnetic.428856/

    Why has elegance found so little following? Elegance has the disadvantage that hard work is needed to achieve it and a good education to appreciate it. - Edsger Wybe Dijkstra

    •
    • Like 1

    3hh1u6j0ddy01.jpg

    •
    • Like 3

    ^^Thats a grody looking sphincter.

     

    ^Anthropomorphism.

    No it's cultural appropriation! I'm a homo sapian and I am OFFENDED that this gorilla mimics a gesture that is sacred to my people.

    "While it is true you learn with age, the down side is what you often learn is what a damn fool you were before"

    Thomas Sowell

    • Like 2

    How apeist of you. Hominidity-politics is ruining our ability to communicate amongst ourselves.

    •
    • Like 1

    Best news broadcast ever!

     

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Syjp9lsWBhc

     

    Yes I know... not real. But very funny.

    Edited by Guard Dog

    "While it is true you learn with age, the down side is what you often learn is what a damn fool you were before"

    Thomas Sowell

    • Like 1

     

    Best news broadcast ever!

     

     

    Yes I know... not real. But very funny.

    Doubted it was real either as there’s no way it would keep rolling that long.

     

     

    "Jonathan Pie" is a fairly long running fictitious spoof news reporter played by Tom Walker.

    And is usually quite spot on with a lot of the things he's ranted over, although he's also played somewhat deliberately contrarian as well.

     

    BBC - Some people think I'm really Jonathan Pie

    "Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

    I didn't know it was a character...

    I thought it was more of a journalists gone off experimenting with "nu-media" sort of thing

     

    I always knew the rants were scripted bits though

    youre-superman.jpg

    "It has just been discovered that research causes cancer in rats."

    •
    • Like 6
    Guest
    This topic is now closed to further replies.
    https://forums.obsidian.net/topic/99379-funny-posts-new-and-improved-with-same-great-taste/
    Go to topic listing

    Configure browser push notifications
    Chrome (Android)
    1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
    2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
    3. Adjust your preference.
    Chrome (Desktop)
    1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
    2. Select Site settings.
    3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.