What you did today.

[Woldan]

Love isn't logical.

In an evolutionary sense it is logical. Find a partner, pass on your genes, feel something like love that makes you care abut your offspring which increases their chances of survival.

 

For whatever reason nature thinks its damn important to pass on ones genes. I don't get it though. 

Edited September 17, 2014 by Woldan

[Calax]

Calax, I hope you figure out what your reason to continue is but I also genuinely hope you will see someone and talk about your problems. Also, I hope you don't take too much of your medication. I couldn't find anything about that specific med/brand but I hope it's not harmful. If this is some sort of "cry for help" type deal please know that as much as some of us want to help, we can't really do anything. If you feel like you may be hurting yourself or others, please contact a professional. We don't want to see you get hurt. :

if this works you will see what I am taking... If not we'll I will fix it at home.

(It's generic ritalin)

 

And technically the only people who can really interfere here probably won't so it's seeming more and more likely my entire legacy in this world is being shot in the head by thousands of gamers in new Vegas

Edited September 17, 2014 by Calax

[Amentep]

 

What did they call you a sociopath for?

 

I spent most of my day in the hospital talking to doctors, getting scanned and tested. Didn't know sleep apnea was such a big deal.

Oh was just commenting on how fun it can be to mess with people by intentionally lying to them to aid in manipulating them somehow. Not seeing how that is really sociopathic, I guess you lack empathy by treating people as tools ? But eh, I've done that with my relatives, interesting to watch the false gossip spread and them react to things that never actually happened.

 

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penn_%26_Teller%27s_Cruel_Tricks_for_Dear_Friends

[Nepenthe]

The "I suck more than y'all!" discussion. I'm not going to participate, but let's just say that I definitely have a brilliant future behind me

Got called a sociopath today, TWICE. Sheesh.

Coincidentally, broken clocks are also right twice a day!

[Amentep]

 

Calax, I hope you figure out what your reason to continue is but I also genuinely hope you will see someone and talk about your problems. Also, I hope you don't take too much of your medication. I couldn't find anything about that specific med/brand but I hope it's not harmful. If this is some sort of "cry for help" type deal please know that as much as some of us want to help, we can't really do anything. If you feel like you may be hurting yourself or others, please contact a professional. We don't want to see you get hurt. :

if this works you will see what I am taking... If not we'll I will fix it at home.

 

And technically the only people who can really interfere here probably won't so it's seeming more and more likely my entire legacy in this world is being shot in the head by thousands of gamers in new Vegas

 

 

And you're happy with that?  You can't change that legacy if you're not around to add anything to it.

 

Look you're miserable and I get that, but I'd suggest perhaps calling a professional you know like TN suggest or at least 1-800-273-TALK (8255) might do more to help you than what you've been implying in this thread.

[Woldan]

Coincidentally, broken clocks are also right twice a day!

Not if its a digital clock, when those stop working they usually show no time at all thus being wrong all the time.

[Calax]

t

 

Coincidentally, broken clocks are also right twice a day!

Not if its a digital clock, when those stop working they usually show no time at all thus being wrong all the time.

unless they blink 12:00 all the time

[Nepenthe]

 

Coincidentally, broken clocks are also right twice a day!

Not if its a digital clock, when those stop working they usually show no time at all thus being wrong all the time.

No, they are just a critique of all oppressive social constructs, time being just one of them!

[Amentep]

Augh!  Vending machine gave me a diet drink instead of the intended choice.  Tried to taste it...urgh...how do people drink this stuff?

 

#water4life

[Gromnir]

 

 

What did they call you a sociopath for?

 

I spent most of my day in the hospital talking to doctors, getting scanned and tested. Didn't know sleep apnea was such a big deal.

Oh was just commenting on how fun it can be to mess with people by intentionally lying to them to aid in manipulating them somehow. Not seeing how that is really sociopathic, I guess you lack empathy by treating people as tools ? But eh, I've done that with my relatives, interesting to watch the false gossip spread and them react to things that never actually happened.

 

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penn_%26_Teller%27s_Cruel_Tricks_for_Dear_Friends

 

am suspecting that psychiatrists likely see a difference 'tween the penn & teller scenario. though one wonders where the line 'tween acceptable schadenfreude and practical jokes is crossed and sociopath label is achieved. lack o' guilt, perhaps?   

 

in any event, were more noteworthy to us that we had never seen nothing sacred. is particular strange as frederich march were a star and for us he were always so darn... forgettable. other than dr. jekyll and mr. hyde, we has difficulty recalling specific films he were in, but we know there were many, and we not doubt that we saw most o' them. nevertheless, am positive we never saw nothing sacred.

 

HA! Good Fun!

 

ps and so we have our continuing battle with font size. hmmm

Edited September 17, 2014 by Gromnir

[Woldan]

What I'm, doing today: I'm off to shoulder pressing, maybe I can finally break my 90 kg shoulder press record today, my mood is bad enough for some seriously heavy lifts thats for sure. 

[Calax]

 

 

Calax, I hope you figure out what your reason to continue is but I also genuinely hope you will see someone and talk about your problems. Also, I hope you don't take too much of your medication. I couldn't find anything about that specific med/brand but I hope it's not harmful. If this is some sort of "cry for help" type deal please know that as much as some of us want to help, we can't really do anything. If you feel like you may be hurting yourself or others, please contact a professional. We don't want to see you get hurt. :

if this works you will see what I am taking... If not we'll I will fix it at home.

 

And technically the only people who can really interfere here probably won't so it's seeming more and more likely my entire legacy in this world is being shot in the head by thousands of gamers in new Vegas

 

 

And you're happy with that?  You can't change that legacy if you're not around to add anything to it.

 

Look you're miserable and I get that, but I'd suggest perhaps calling a professional you know like TN suggest or at least 1-800-273-TALK (8255) might do more to help you than what you've been implying in this thread.

 

Well I'm probably not gonna care soon. Besides, that's more of a legacy than most people leave behind, and I'm not exactly the type that'll ever get a girlfriend/wife/partner/whatever you want to call it. At least it's a fitting legacy... shot in the head by people I don't know.

[Amentep]

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penn_%26_Teller%27s_Cruel_Tricks_for_Dear_Friends

 

am suspecting that psychiatrists likely see a difference 'tween the penn & teller scenario. though one wonders where the line 'tween acceptable schadenfreude and practical jokes is crossed and sociopath label is achieved. lack o' guilt, perhaps?   

 

in any event, were more noteworthy to us that we had never seen nothing sacred. is particular strange as frederich march were a star and for us he were always so darn... forgettable. other than dr. jekyll and mr. hyde, we has difficulty recalling specific films he were in, but we know there were many, and we not doubt that we saw most o' them. nevertheless, am positive we never saw nothing sacred.

 

HA! Good Fun!

 

ps and so we have our continuing battle with font size. hmmm

 

 

Eh, I was mostly just offering suggestions to him for futher tricks if he wanted to pursue them, to be honest.

 

Never saw Nothing Sacred either (sounds like it might be fun).  I know I've seen the Jeckyll/Hide version with March, Death Takes a Holiday and Desperate Hours.  Never saw his other Oscar films - A Star is Born, or The Best Years of Our Lives. 

 

Spend too much time watching trash cinema, I guess.

[Amentep]

Didn't feel right with responding to this with my fluff response to Gromnir...hope my double post is forgiven.

 

 

 

 

Calax, I hope you figure out what your reason to continue is but I also genuinely hope you will see someone and talk about your problems. Also, I hope you don't take too much of your medication. I couldn't find anything about that specific med/brand but I hope it's not harmful. If this is some sort of "cry for help" type deal please know that as much as some of us want to help, we can't really do anything. If you feel like you may be hurting yourself or others, please contact a professional. We don't want to see you get hurt. :

if this works you will see what I am taking... If not we'll I will fix it at home.

And technically the only people who can really interfere here probably won't so it's seeming more and more likely my entire legacy in this world is being shot in the head by thousands of gamers in new Vegas

 

 

And you're happy with that?  You can't change that legacy if you're not around to add anything to it.

 

Look you're miserable and I get that, but I'd suggest perhaps calling a professional you know like TN suggest or at least 1-800-273-TALK (8255) might do more to help you than what you've been implying in this thread.

 

Well I'm probably not gonna care soon. Besides, that's more of a legacy than most people leave behind, and I'm not exactly the type that'll ever get a girlfriend/wife/partner/whatever you want to call it. At least it's a fitting legacy... shot in the head by people I don't know.

 

 

In response to the bolded, do you need one right now in your life?  I've had girlfriends and I've not had girlfriends and ultimately my happiness wasn't due to me being in the relationship (or not being in them).  Suddenly finding romance isn't a magic bullet anymore so than anything else in life.

 

And if you don't care, it's not going to hurt to give that 1-800 number a call, is it? 

[Blarghagh]

 

 

 

Calax, I hope you figure out what your reason to continue is but I also genuinely hope you will see someone and talk about your problems. Also, I hope you don't take too much of your medication. I couldn't find anything about that specific med/brand but I hope it's not harmful. If this is some sort of "cry for help" type deal please know that as much as some of us want to help, we can't really do anything. If you feel like you may be hurting yourself or others, please contact a professional. We don't want to see you get hurt. :

if this works you will see what I am taking... If not we'll I will fix it at home.

 

And technically the only people who can really interfere here probably won't so it's seeming more and more likely my entire legacy in this world is being shot in the head by thousands of gamers in new Vegas

 

 

And you're happy with that?  You can't change that legacy if you're not around to add anything to it.

 

Look you're miserable and I get that, but I'd suggest perhaps calling a professional you know like TN suggest or at least 1-800-273-TALK (8255) might do more to help you than what you've been implying in this thread.

 

Well I'm probably not gonna care soon. Besides, that's more of a legacy than most people leave behind, and I'm not exactly the type that'll ever get a girlfriend/wife/partner/whatever you want to call it. At least it's a fitting legacy... shot in the head by people I don't know.

 

 

Calax. I implore you to seek help from a professional or even someone you know in real life. Though we can try, we are not qualified to give you advice and we are not able to help you. Please find someone to talk to, or call a help line such as Amentep provided. We cannot do anything, we cannot contact emergency services or contact people close to you. If you do something you might regret and we are the only ones who know about it, it's going to be too late.

[Gromnir]

 

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penn_%26_Teller%27s_Cruel_Tricks_for_Dear_Friends

 

am suspecting that psychiatrists likely see a difference 'tween the penn & teller scenario. though one wonders where the line 'tween acceptable schadenfreude and practical jokes is crossed and sociopath label is achieved. lack o' guilt, perhaps?   

 

in any event, were more noteworthy to us that we had never seen nothing sacred. is particular strange as frederich march were a star and for us he were always so darn... forgettable. other than dr. jekyll and mr. hyde, we has difficulty recalling specific films he were in, but we know there were many, and we not doubt that we saw most o' them. nevertheless, am positive we never saw nothing sacred.

 

HA! Good Fun!

 

ps and so we have our continuing battle with font size. hmmm

 

 

Eh, I was mostly just offering suggestions to him for futher tricks if he wanted to pursue them, to be honest.

 

Never saw Nothing Sacred either (sounds like it might be fun).  I know I've seen the Jeckyll/Hide version with March, Death Takes a Holiday and Desperate Hours.  Never saw his other Oscar films - A Star is Born, or The Best Years of Our Lives. 

 

Spend too much time watching trash cinema, I guess.

 

after a few moments o' reflection, we can also recall his performance in the best years of our lives, death of a salesman and i married a witch... but we Know we saw other films with him. 

 

ah well.

 

and yeah, we figured you were offering more gag/joke options. that being said, we did actual consider where the line is drawn 'tween such practical jokes and sociopath behavior, given that it were made relevant in the thread. nevertheless, you can probable tell we were more genuine interested in the old movie angle we saw via the penn and teller use o' nothing sacred in your linked material. am also a victim o' too much cinema.

 

...

 

am refusing to use wiki or imdb for this... is gonna drive us nuts trying to recall the literal dozens o' movies we know we saw starring frederich march. 

 

HA! Good Fun!

[Calax]

Didn't feel right with responding to this with my fluff response to Gromnir...hope my double post is forgiven.

 

 

 

 

Calax, I hope you figure out what your reason to continue is but I also genuinely hope you will see someone and talk about your problems. Also, I hope you don't take too much of your medication. I couldn't find anything about that specific med/brand but I hope it's not harmful. If this is some sort of "cry for help" type deal please know that as much as some of us want to help, we can't really do anything. If you feel like you may be hurting yourself or others, please contact a professional. We don't want to see you get hurt. :

if this works you will see what I am taking... If not we'll I will fix it at home.

 

And technically the only people who can really interfere here probably won't so it's seeming more and more likely my entire legacy in this world is being shot in the head by thousands of gamers in new Vegas

 

 

And you're happy with that?  You can't change that legacy if you're not around to add anything to it.

 

Look you're miserable and I get that, but I'd suggest perhaps calling a professional you know like TN suggest or at least 1-800-273-TALK (8255) might do more to help you than what you've been implying in this thread.

 

Well I'm probably not gonna care soon. Besides, that's more of a legacy than most people leave behind, and I'm not exactly the type that'll ever get a girlfriend/wife/partner/whatever you want to call it. At least it's a fitting legacy... shot in the head by people I don't know.

 

 

In response to the bolded, do you need one right now in your life?  I've had girlfriends and I've not had girlfriends and ultimately my happiness wasn't due to me being in the relationship (or not being in them).  Suddenly finding romance isn't a magic bullet anymore so than anything else in life.

 

And if you don't care, it's not going to hurt to give that 1-800 number a call, is it? 

I feel like I need SOMEBODY else in my life. I know nobody else can really live my life for me, but Just being alone is tiring and having no advocate in a fight tires me out. Right now I'm attending classes without any real regiment because I'm just to tired to drag myself to class. I still do work, but that has direct consequences for me. Right now I'm hemmoraging money and don't know if I'll have enough to get through the end of the semester without taking out MORE loans. 

 

And to be technical, I've never had a "real" girlfriend. Just a friend who I've hooked up with twice (total) in the year and a half I've known her, and a girl who I barely knew when I was 18 that I was an **** to. If I survive I'd hope I'd end up in a relationship somewhere, but as time goes on and relationships lack, I have less and less hope. At this point I feel ultimately worthless and like I've got nowhere to go after school, and I have no idea what I"m doing writing a 20 page research paper on Roman sexuality (which I have 4 pages of notes due tomorrow at 2) when I can barely even complete my homework to the satisfaction of my professors (and that's with constantly skipping readings because I have 0 drive to even think about school at home).

 

I donno, I'll see how tonight works out. Personally I'd prefer to go in my sleep but the resources I have are basically the Ritalin, an anti-inflammitory, two anti-depressants (abilify and Zoloft) and viagra (because.. yeah). I know a mix of two of those will trigger something, but not sure about the other three.

 

For the record, trying to choke yourself out with a belt is harder than it seems.

[Gfted1]

Youre not too far from Chicago. C'mon over and we'll go out and whoop it up.

[Blarghagh]

Calax.

 

Everybody who has jumped off the Golden Gate bridge and actually survived reported that the moment that they jumped they found themselves thinking that they wanted to live, that all the problems they had now seemed insignificant except for one: The fact they had just jumped off the bridge.

 

This is not something I just made up. Look, first google result for "bridge jumping survivor": http://content.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1197707,00.html

 

 

 

I remember every second of it. When my hands left that rail — and my legs curled over — as soon as I left the bridge, I thought, "I don't want to die." It's a four-second fall, and in those four seconds I said, "God, please save me."

 

If you do something you cannot take back, you might find yourself thinking something similar, yet you will have much longer to agonize over it and nobody will be able to help. Please, contact somebody.

[Woldan]

I feel like I need SOMEBODY else in my life. I know nobody else can really live my life for me, but Just being alone is tiring and having no advocate in a fight tires me out.

Be careful what you wish for, most people are insufferable idiots, being alone is definitely not the worst of fates and in the end you still have yourself. Often when I felt alone I went to my favorite bar to hook up with some girls, but then I always realized that being alone isn't really so bad. 

Edited September 17, 2014 by Woldan

[Tale]

The biggest lie of depression is the feeling that it will last forever. And the truth is that it doesn't have to. There is help. Sometimes medication, sometimes circumstance, and sometimes we just get over it. And there's no really a way of telling which it'll be. It's hard to come out the other side, but it's worth it.

 

Depression doesn't want you to know that. It's silly personifying a feeling like that, but there's no better way to express it. It makes you forget the good days or tells you that they were never good enough. But it is wrong.

[Malcador]

Nothing like wondering at why this test failed, cursing the developer and being sure something is wrong with the test plan, only to find out the upgrade script doesn't actually provide feedback either way so silence didn't mean there were no errors. So the patch was never applied.

 

Gyah!

[Calax]

And now a ride in the back of a cop car for a psych evaluation at the hospital.

[Hurlshort]

And now a ride in the back of a cop car for a psych evaluation at the hospital.

 

Take care Calax.  

[Tale]

I hope you get better.