The Funny Things Thread

Agiel · December 16, 2014

Raithe · December 16, 2014

30,000 people really did buy poop on Black Friday

On Black Friday, we told you that 30,000 people may have purchased actual poop in a box. Today, we're pleased to report that it's true: 30,000 Americans bought poop.

The offer came from Cards Against Humanity—that filthy, hilarious mab libs card game created by a few Highland Park, Illinois residents that markets itself as a "party game for terrible people." They claimed to be offering 'actual bull****' for a mere $6 to U.S. residents only. They were very clear that customers should expect to receive feces from a live bull in a box delivered to their door, and nothing more. Just poop.

A lot of speculation on Reddit and other forums hoped that a new game card would be in the box or that there would be some other object that made the poop worth buying. Some questioned the legality of poop, but there are already several U.S. companies that specialize in shipping animal poop with the caveat that it can not be used to harass someone. (One is I Poop You, if you were curious.)

Even as game creator Max Temkin repeatedly tweeted out that it was just poop, people continued to buy. Before day's end, the poop had sold out. And you, dear readers, seemed particularly curious in our comment section and on Facebook as to whether it was actually just poop and if we would update you as to our findings.

So, in the name of journalism, we bought a box. We did this for you, LAist readers.

The package arrived at my apartment late yesterday afternoon and was waiting for me when I came home from work.

The package consisted of a cardboard box with a cute little pile of poop on the front, not unlike the poop emoji. Once opened, there was a plastic wrapped box that said 'Bull****' in that Helvetica font, designed in the same monochrome manner as the card game. There was also a little one-inch pin with the same cutesy poop pile on it. This must be to put on a messenger bag, so that those who spent $6 on poop can identify each other in crowds.

Inside the box was a piece of dried bull poop. One adventurous soul on YouTube even went so far as to break the poop in half to see if perhaps there was a hidden object inside. He also inspected the packaging very closely, but only unearthed dry, poop dust.

So, there you have it: Cards Against Humanity made $180,000 selling people bull****. Well-played.

Now, you may ask: why did I show you a video of someone else opening the bull****, instead of making my own?

Well, I have a vested interest in keeping the cycle of bull**** going. I thought to myself, 'What if people will pay even more for the poop when they realize that it's poop?' Knowing that collectibles are worth more money still sealed, I set the poop on a shelf and waited.

Today, I looked on ebay, and I found that some people are indeed selling the poop. The top one right now is going for $32 (that's five times the initial cost for a box of actual poop) and people are bidding on it. There are 10 bids and are fifteen minutes left. Someone is going to pay $32 for a $6 box of poop. If you had purchased several boxes, you could be printing yourselves business cards with "pooptrepreneur" on them right now.

If that isn't great social commentary on American consumerism, then I just don't know what is.