Walsingham Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 In that case I can tell you why he's yowling. He's just realised his balls aren't coming back. He's like "Ay! Mother****er done stole my balls better give them back now! This **** ain't funny! Hey! ****er. You were there. I saw you there. Where the **** are my balls?" And in that case, the howling isn't going to end anytime soon. Because, damn, those were his ****ing balls and some things just aren't easily forgotten. This is a good ****ing point. If dogs are a man's best friend, why do we cut their balls off? I don't want to be anyone's friend if my balls are getting cut off as part of the deal. 1 "It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"." -Elwood Blues tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nepenthe Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 In that case I can tell you why he's yowling. He's just realised his balls aren't coming back. He's like "Ay! Mother****er done stole my balls better give them back now! This **** ain't funny! Hey! ****er. You were there. I saw you there. Where the **** are my balls?" And in that case, the howling isn't going to end anytime soon. Because, damn, those were his ****ing balls and some things just aren't easily forgotten. This is a good ****ing point. If dogs are a man's best friend, why do we cut their balls off? I don't want to be anyone's friend if my balls are getting cut off as part of the deal. With male humans, it's called marriage, not friendship. 2 You're a cheery wee bugger, Nep. Have I ever said that? Reapercussions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calax Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 Somebody broke into my car last night. Nothing was taken (because I keep nothing in there) but it now reeks of cigarette smoke. If somebody is caught doing it, somebody is going to end up in a ditch six miles outside of town. Victor of the 5 year fan fic competition! Kevin Butler will awesome your face off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melkathi Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 Somebody broke into my car last night. Nothing was taken (because I keep nothing in there) but it now reeks of cigarette smoke. If somebody is caught doing it, somebody is going to end up in a ditch six miles outside of town. Do you need a new window, lock or something like that? Unobtrusively informing you about my new ebook (which you should feel free to read and shower with praise). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calax Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 Nah, I left it unlocked (because I was tired and don't keep anything in the car). So it's partly my fault, but now my entire car smells of cigarettes. If I find it's been legit broken into I'm gonna call the cops and when/if they find the **** who did it, sue them for the price of a new car. Victor of the 5 year fan fic competition! Kevin Butler will awesome your face off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BruceVC Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 Nah, I left it unlocked (because I was tired and don't keep anything in the car). So it's partly my fault, but now my entire car smells of cigarettes. If I find it's been legit broken into I'm gonna call the cops and when/if they find the **** who did it, sue them for the price of a new car. Calax I don't mean to make you feel worse but that's what happens when you drive a Porsche...you become a target for those who are resentful of your success "Abashed the devil stood and felt how awful goodness is and saw Virtue in her shape how lovely: and pined his loss” John Milton "We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” - George Bernard Shaw "What counts in life is not the mere fact that we have lived. It is what difference we have made to the lives of others that will determine the significance of the life we lead" - Nelson Mandela Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nepenthe Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 Nah, I left it unlocked (because I was tired and don't keep anything in the car). So it's partly my fault, but now my entire car smells of cigarettes. If I find it's been legit broken into I'm gonna call the cops and when/if they find the **** who did it, sue them for the price of a new car. And then people wonder where all the frivolous lawsuits come from. You're a cheery wee bugger, Nep. Have I ever said that? Reapercussions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gfted1 Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 Wait, so someone broke into the car, didn't take anything, and just hung out to smoke cigarettes? Weird. "I'm your biggest fan, Ill follow you until you love me, Papa" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calax Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 Nah, I left it unlocked (because I was tired and don't keep anything in the car). So it's partly my fault, but now my entire car smells of cigarettes. If I find it's been legit broken into I'm gonna call the cops and when/if they find the **** who did it, sue them for the price of a new car. Calax I don't mean to make you feel worse but that's what happens when you drive a Porsche...you become a target for those who are resentful of your success ... I drive a 1998 POS acura that's missing half it's paint. Success is not a picture painted by that car. And Nep, it wouldn't be frivolous, I'd just be getting restitution from the criminal for the damage he's done to me and my life. I'd not be suing for mental anguish or anything, just for the full price of a modest car. And Gfted, they tried to get something from my car (everything was out of my center console and my bookbag was opened) but I don't keep anything in there to take. Victor of the 5 year fan fic competition! Kevin Butler will awesome your face off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nepenthe Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 And Nep, it wouldn't be frivolous, I'd just be getting restitution from the criminal for the damage he's done to me and my life. I'd not be suing for mental anguish or anything, just for the full price of a modest car. I accept that I have a rather... restrictive view of tort law and the principle of unjust enrichment... so I'll just wish you good luck with that. I'm pretty good at what I do, and in the circumstances, a brand new wunderbaum is what I'd expect to get you. 1 You're a cheery wee bugger, Nep. Have I ever said that? Reapercussions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Malcador Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 (edited) Better idea to sue him for the cost to deodorize the interior, no ? Edited September 23, 2013 by Malcador 1 Why has elegance found so little following? Elegance has the disadvantage that hard work is needed to achieve it and a good education to appreciate it. - Edsger Wybe Dijkstra Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amentep Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 Wait, so someone broke into the car, didn't take anything, and just hung out to smoke cigarettes? Weird. They were probably smoking because they'd just had sex on the back seat. 3 I cannot - yet I must. How do you calculate that? At what point on the graph do "must" and "cannot" meet? Yet I must - but I cannot! ~ Ro-Man Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gfted1 Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 "I'm your biggest fan, Ill follow you until you love me, Papa" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calax Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 They'd have to be midgets for that. Victor of the 5 year fan fic competition! Kevin Butler will awesome your face off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nepenthe Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 They'd have to be midgets for that. Make it easier to find the culprits, then? 1 You're a cheery wee bugger, Nep. Have I ever said that? Reapercussions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amentep Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 They'd have to be midgets for that. You underestimate people's ability to find ways to have sex. 1 I cannot - yet I must. How do you calculate that? At what point on the graph do "must" and "cannot" meet? Yet I must - but I cannot! ~ Ro-Man Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nepenthe Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 Went to ebay. Blew $ 260 I don't really have on a navy working uniform type iii parka. In my defence, I've been looking for one for ages, and one of my favourite surplus stores had one in my size and excellent condition. I assume the xl-long size is rare because many guys in the relevant branches are my size. You're a cheery wee bugger, Nep. Have I ever said that? Reapercussions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PK htiw klaw eriF Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 After reading this, I feel a need to guard my balls when around friends. 1 "Akiva Goldsman and Alex Kurtzman run the 21st century version of MK ULTRA." - majestic "you're a damned filthy lying robot and you deserve to die and burn in hell." - Bartimaeus "Without individual thinking you can't notice the plot holes." - InsaneCommander "Just feed off the suffering of gamers." - Malcador "You are calling my taste crap." -Hurlshort "thankfully it seems like the creators like Hungary less this time around." - Sarex "Don't forget the wakame, dumbass" -Keyrock "Are you trolling or just being inadvertently nonsensical?' -Pidesco "we have already been forced to admit you are at least human" - uuuhhii "I refuse to buy from non-woke businesses" - HoonDing "feral camels are now considered a pest" - Gorth "Melkathi is known to be an overly critical grumpy person" - Melkathi "Oddly enough Sanderson was a lot more direct despite being a Mormon" - Zoraptor "I found it greatly disturbing to scroll through my cartoon's halfing selection of genitalias." - Wormerine "I love cheese despite the pain and carnage." - ShadySands Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BruceVC Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 Wait, so someone broke into the car, didn't take anything, and just hung out to smoke cigarettes? Weird. They were probably smoking because they'd just had sex on the back seat. okay that's good "Abashed the devil stood and felt how awful goodness is and saw Virtue in her shape how lovely: and pined his loss” John Milton "We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” - George Bernard Shaw "What counts in life is not the mere fact that we have lived. It is what difference we have made to the lives of others that will determine the significance of the life we lead" - Nelson Mandela Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melkathi Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 (edited) Went to the gym. Finished the warm up and went over to one of those machiny thingies to do some exercise. Decided to look straight ahead while doing so. Seemed the obvious direction to look. Didn't think much about it. Looked straight ahead. Right between the legs and into the very loose shirt of the girl kneeling across the room and who was not wearing a bra. Decided to look the other way. Spend the next 3 minutes shaking my head about teenagers these days. The next 2 minutes wondering if I would have found that hot if I was a teenager myself. And another minute whether I would find it hot if she was in her twenties. Decided I spend enough time on that girl and went back to thinking about politics. Still not sure whether that doesn't mean there is something wrong with me Edited September 23, 2013 by melkathi 2 Unobtrusively informing you about my new ebook (which you should feel free to read and shower with praise). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BruceVC Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 (edited) Went to the gym. Finished the warm up and went over to one of those machiny thingies to do some exercise. Decided to look straight ahead while doing so. Seemed the obvious direction to look. Didn't think much about it. Looked straight ahead. Right between the legs and into the very loose shirt of the girl kneeling across the room and who was not wearing a bra. Decided to look the other way. Spend the next 3 minutes shaking my head about teenagers thesse days. The next 2 minutes wondering if I would have found that hot if I was a teenager myself. And another minute whether I would find it hot if she was in her twenties. Decided I spend enough time on that girl and went back to thinking about politics. Still not sure whether that doesn't mean there is something wrong with me Nope it sounds normal to me. I don't think you ever get to an age as a man where you won't appreciate the female form. No need to be embarrassed about looking, especially at a gym. Most people who go to gyms would appreciate someone noticing them in a positive way Edited September 23, 2013 by BruceVC 1 "Abashed the devil stood and felt how awful goodness is and saw Virtue in her shape how lovely: and pined his loss” John Milton "We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” - George Bernard Shaw "What counts in life is not the mere fact that we have lived. It is what difference we have made to the lives of others that will determine the significance of the life we lead" - Nelson Mandela Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melkathi Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 I do draw the line when I am truly old enough to be someone's dad Unobtrusively informing you about my new ebook (which you should feel free to read and shower with praise). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BruceVC Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 I do draw the line when I am truly old enough to be someone's dad Melk thats not true I'm afraid There are 17-19 year old super models on magazine covers that represent global fashion movements. You can admire the beauty, it doesn't have to be sordid. But how old was this girl anyway? "Abashed the devil stood and felt how awful goodness is and saw Virtue in her shape how lovely: and pined his loss” John Milton "We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” - George Bernard Shaw "What counts in life is not the mere fact that we have lived. It is what difference we have made to the lives of others that will determine the significance of the life we lead" - Nelson Mandela Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woldan Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 Went to the gym. Finished the warm up and went over to one of those machiny thingies to do some exercise. Decided to look straight ahead while doing so. Seemed the obvious direction to look. Didn't think much about it. Looked straight ahead. Right between the legs and into the very loose shirt of the girl kneeling across the room and who was not wearing a bra. Decided to look the other way. Spend the next 3 minutes shaking my head about teenagers these days. The next 2 minutes wondering if I would have found that hot if I was a teenager myself. And another minute whether I would find it hot if she was in her twenties. Decided I spend enough time on that girl and went back to thinking about politics. Still not sure whether that doesn't mean there is something wrong with me Don't want to sound like a killjoy and I like oogling hawt girls as much as anyone else, but if you have time to stare at girls and think about politics while doing your exercise you're definitely not using enough weight or your cardio intensity sucks balls. I gazed at the dead, and for one dark moment I saw a banquet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calax Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 And now I have a semi-traumatized kitteh (first vet visit... the vet asst. started calling him weird because he was smelling and licking anything he could) Victor of the 5 year fan fic competition! Kevin Butler will awesome your face off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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