Scott/tarna

[WDeranged]

I got a knot in my gut when I saw the pinned thread, I hardly knew Tarna but I'd read what he was going through, my best wishes to his family and all who knew him

[Walsingham]

I just had a weird thought: maybe there's now a Obsidz forum in the afterlife. Like a nerdy valhalla.

['GM']

A good friend of mine passed on this news to me this morning. Although I was a constant part of the old BIS crowd I didn't know Tarna on a personal basis. He was one of those people that you just respected. It's clear he touched the hearts of many people though.

 

Has anyone let Sargy know?

[Gorgon]

RIP. I'm no good at finding the right thing to write at these moments.

[Guard Dog]

RIP Tarna, such sad news. We've lost a few great people here recently.

[Drowsy Emperor]

I seem to recall a mention of cancer months ago. I hoped that would not be the way it ended and its sad to see I was wrong.

 

Rest in peace.

[Amentep]

A good friend of mine passed on this news to me this morning. Although I was a constant part of the old BIS crowd I didn't know Tarna on a personal basis. He was one of those people that you just respected. It's clear he touched the hearts of many people though.

 

Has anyone let Sargy know?

 

I PMed him and LordChaos since both had asked about him in the BIS thread.  Don't have an email, but hopefully they'll get a PM prompt through their email.

[Fionavar]

A good friend of mine passed on this news to me this morning. Although I was a constant part of the old BIS crowd I didn't know Tarna on a personal basis. He was one of those people that you just respected. It's clear he touched the hearts of many people though.

 

Has anyone let Sargy know?

Sargy and I have also been in touch via PM

['GM']

Ah, that's good. I was also thinking of Strider too. Not sure how good of friends he and Tarna were, but just seemed Strider got on good with everyone. My email for him no longer works.

[samm]

Oh no... no no The Black Isle thread and some other BIS-reminiscing one had me worried for quite some time now, and now...

...

tarna, whereever you are, I hope you are doing fine now.

[Sargallath Abraxium]

...

 

...I feel such an empty pit in my chest right now, I know I'm gonna start rambling, so please bear with me...

 

...

 

 

I've been hanging around this Community for alot of years, 14 or so, I know not very much in the last few, but I've always felt that, over the years, I've made friends in that time that I would truly enjoy hanging out with "in real Life"...the kind of friends that could go years without seeing each other and then just hang out like it was nothing, never missed a beat...I haven't talked, or posted I guess, to tarna in a few years, didn't even know he was sick until the middle or so of last year...really makes me wish I had come around more the last few years, if only to pop by and chat with those friends that put that smile on my face when i drop by, even if we don't really have a helluva lot to chat about except the fun we used to have & how none of us have aged gracefully (well, I haven't, anyways )...I really wish I had gotten a chance to say goodbye to my friend...

 

...

 

I'm not ashamed to say that, when I got a chance at work today to check my PMs today and I got 'Tep's and Fio's messages, I had to close my office door...I needed to grieve the loss of my friend...and I did...I still am...I wish I had gotten to spend more time chatting with him, wish we could have met in person, hung out...Scott was my friend, and I'm going to miss him

Edited August 13, 2013 by Sargallath Abraxium

[Walsingham]

Running with the ball a little here. But isn't that something good take away from this? Spend a little less time facebooking peole who do nothing and say nothing, and reach out when we find someone who is genuinely interesting?

[Sargallath Abraxium]

[Gfted1]

Damn, I haven't seen that picture in years.

[Sargallath Abraxium]

I really hope his family gets to see this thread...see how many of us that he touched with his friendship...how much we miss him...

[Hiro Protagonist]

I remember tarna's picture from the BIS days and it's always how I remembered him.

[Deraldin]

Damn. Saw this thread from the forum index and before even opening it I knew what it was going to be. RIP Tarna.

[Pidesco]

RIP Tarna.

['GM']

...

 

...I feel such an empty pit in my chest right now, I know I'm gonna start rambling, so please bear with me...

 

...

 

 

I've been hanging around this Community for alot of years, 14 or so, I know not very much in the last few, but I've always felt that, over the years, I've made friends in that time that I would truly enjoy hanging out with "in real Life"...the kind of friends that could go years without seeing each other and then just hang out like it was nothing, never missed a beat...I haven't talked, or posted I guess, to tarna in a few years, didn't even know he was sick until the middle or so of last year...really makes me wish I had come around more the last few years, if only to pop by and chat with those friends that put that smile on my face when i drop by, even if we don't really have a helluva lot to chat about except the fun we used to have & how none of us have aged gracefully (well, I haven't, anyways )...I really wish I had gotten a chance to say goodbye to my friend...

 

...

 

I'm not ashamed to say that, when I got a chance at work today to check my PMs today and I got 'Tep's and Fio's messages, I had to close my office door...I needed to grieve the loss of my friend...and I did...I still am...I wish I had gotten to spend more time chatting with him, wish we could have met in person, hung out...Scott was my friend, and I'm going to miss him

 

I love this post. It's kind of how I feel about some of my old friends from way back. Some of them I'd dearly love to chat with again, only trouble is, I can't find them anymore. I've tried.

 

But I'm also making new friends, even though I don't hang out on the internet like I used to.

 

And I don't do facebook, lol!

[Sargallath Abraxium]

 

...

 

...I feel such an empty pit in my chest right now, I know I'm gonna start rambling, so please bear with me...

 

...

 

 

I've been hanging around this Community for alot of years, 14 or so, I know not very much in the last few, but I've always felt that, over the years, I've made friends in that time that I would truly enjoy hanging out with "in real Life"...the kind of friends that could go years without seeing each other and then just hang out like it was nothing, never missed a beat...I haven't talked, or posted I guess, to tarna in a few years, didn't even know he was sick until the middle or so of last year...really makes me wish I had come around more the last few years, if only to pop by and chat with those friends that put that smile on my face when i drop by, even if we don't really have a helluva lot to chat about except the fun we used to have & how none of us have aged gracefully (well, I haven't, anyways )...I really wish I had gotten a chance to say goodbye to my friend...

 

...

 

I'm not ashamed to say that, when I got a chance at work today to check my PMs today and I got 'Tep's and Fio's messages, I had to close my office door...I needed to grieve the loss of my friend...and I did...I still am...I wish I had gotten to spend more time chatting with him, wish we could have met in person, hung out...Scott was my friend, and I'm going to miss him

 

I love this post. It's kind of how I feel about some of my old friends from way back. Some of them I'd dearly love to chat with again, only trouble is, I can't find them anymore. I've tried.

 

But I'm also making new friends, even though I don't hang out on the internet like I used to.

 

And I don't do facebook, lol!

 

If anyone takes anything out of this thread, I want it to be this; Don't wait until it's too late!...

 

...we all lose touch...but I waited until it was too late...and as much as I want to go back and change that, I can't...

[Darren Monahan]

Rest in peace, Tarna. Thank you for sticking with us over the years, for helping to moderate the boards, and being one of the pillars of our community here. You will be missed!

 

Darren

[Fionavar]

Hello everyone,

 

I wanted to share two things. One is the obituary for Scott/tarna. It can be found here: http://obits.dignitymemorial.com/dignity-memorial/obituary.aspx?n=Scott-Moore&lc=2160&pid=161071448&mid=5306989&Affiliate=denverpost&PersonID=161071448&FHID=4386. I sincerely hope this helps with your/our grieving. I have also shared with the family the link to this thread and have passed on your care and concern. As well, as Sargy wished, I shared that we also hope they might come to see the impact he had on our lives.

 

Second, I wanted to share a recent blog I wrote. I have been blogging now for about 6 years and, in particular, from a faith based perspective: A Deacon's Musing. I pray that the copy of that blog, called A Deacon's Musing|Scott imparts some of my own reflection and honours the man whom we mourn.

 

with respect,

 

Richard

 

 

 

When tears fall & souls weep.
When grief strikes & questions abound.
May we (who r able) respond with care
& may those who need - be embraced

(Verses|May 2013)

 

 

15 years give or take a few solar revolutions … that’s how long I had the privilege to call Scott a friend. Though at first I knew him by the nickname he used in our online community as tarna, once we began to work with one another and then connect on the phone, PM, IM, and through various digital media our relationship matured from digital acquaintance to friendship. Scott was one of the bravest men I have ever known. He fought with an illness so aggressive that required frequent surgery and caused pain that sometimes I could hear it in his voice that I was not only humbled every time I phoned him, but his joie de vivre was a blessing. I will miss you Scott/tarna. And for those of you for whom relationships are grounded in the digital, never listen to that voice that says such connexions are ‘less than’ or not ‘real.’ The tears I have experienced at learning of the death of my friend have been most real and I know that Scott is now free of the pain with which he choose to live with dignity.

 

Perhaps the first paragraph is as much a testimonial of loss as it is a catalyst for reflection about my faith and what I might need to learn, to share with the church. Faith & church: they are intimately connected, how I live out individually what I understand to be a reflection of the Holy will obviously inform the way I walk into the human institution called church.

 

My relationship with Scott was grounded in a place and in a way that some see as ‘less than’ or ‘not real.’ I have been online for the better part of 2 decades and have friends from around the world, many of whom I only know digitally. These relationships are as valuable and life-giving to me as those which I have the gift to be able to embrace with physical touch. tarna’s illness did not define him, but it allowed him to model a generosity of spirit that I know affected others. His questions of concern for others in our online community not only speaks to his own compassion for others, but mirrors how such a place creates reciprocal relationships. Where mutuality in these democratic and sometimes frenetic places becomes an expectation grounded in freedom to be who we know we want to be. Sometimes, the most authentic person we long to be flourishes in these places that are free of the addictions, distractions, dysfunctions that are our lives in the ‘real world.’ Sometimes the ‘real world’ only shadows who we know we want to be – who we truly are – and an online community can embrace the ‘real’ you in ways that are life-giving and soul celebrating. As a person of faith, therefore, Scott modelled for me in this digital environment that it’s not what you believe that matters, it’s how you treat strangers: strangers in an online community are nameless and faceless at first. They might live next door or on the other side of the globe. How you treat the nameless are the seeds of friendship and that is just one way that I will honour this friendship.

 

What I then take to the church is this, it’s not whether or not we should be testifying and evangelising the Good News in this environments – it’s the public commons of a new age and unless we’re there engaged, then we’re obsolete. For those who will follow, this is where we’ll meet them first. What we MUST ask, therefore, is ‘why.’ If our answer is about wanting to boost numbers or some double-speak agenda of conversion and coercion, not only do I want no part of such a reply, I believe it is theologically flawed. There is an entire generation, now almost two, who have no grounding in organised religion, for whom the rituals that mark death are few and far between and who are already– appropriately so –wary of those who peddle saccharine. Judgement laden and cheap faith.  If our ‘why,’ however, is about wanting to help people shine, to help people transform from what the world tells them, that bullies into a conforming and controlling consumer mould where the common denominator must deny uniqueness, then I say let’s get to the business of sharing the Good News.

 

In places online – from chat groups, Skype, social media platforms and a plethora of real-time communication – people are gravitating to spaces and places that promise to offer community and change. And I believe that the church that longs to help people awaken to the gift they are has something to contribute in such spaces. Whether or not we’re ready, however, doesn’t matter. It’s already happening, we just need to ask ourselves ‘why’ … the rest will be what it will be …

 

RIP Scott/tarna

 

 

Faith is the unspoken confidence

in a threaded reality that defies word compartments.

Belief is the construction of compartments

(A Pres-bit|@wpgpres)

[Orogun01]

Well, at least he won't have to suffer anymore. My condolences.

[alanschu]

...

 

...I feel such an empty pit in my chest right now, I know I'm gonna start rambling, so please bear with me...

 

...

 

 

I've been hanging around this Community for alot of years, 14 or so, I know not very much in the last few, but I've always felt that, over the years, I've made friends in that time that I would truly enjoy hanging out with "in real Life"...the kind of friends that could go years without seeing each other and then just hang out like it was nothing, never missed a beat...I haven't talked, or posted I guess, to tarna in a few years, didn't even know he was sick until the middle or so of last year...really makes me wish I had come around more the last few years, if only to pop by and chat with those friends that put that smile on my face when i drop by, even if we don't really have a helluva lot to chat about except the fun we used to have & how none of us have aged gracefully (well, I haven't, anyways )...I really wish I had gotten a chance to say goodbye to my friend...

 

...

 

I'm not ashamed to say that, when I got a chance at work today to check my PMs today and I got 'Tep's and Fio's messages, I had to close my office door...I needed to grieve the loss of my friend...and I did...I still am...I wish I had gotten to spend more time chatting with him, wish we could have met in person, hung out...Scott was my friend, and I'm going to miss him

I hope that this doesn't come across as crass or perhaps contextually inappropriate, but the first thing that came to my mind after reading this was

 

"Tarna luvs ya baby"

 

(Intent is more to bring a smile than pain, since it sounds like in your case it was true!)

 

 

I more "knew of" Tarna from these boards, so I'm less affected personally, but I do know what loss feels like and I agree with those that say "online friends" are no less our friends through other means.

 

Cheers man.

 

Allan

[Sargallath Abraxium]

That was beautiful, Richard...and thank you for letting his family know how much his friendship meant...I remember feeling soo uplifted last fall when you let me know you'd been in contact with him; I was soo much hoping he'd be up to coming on, just soo I could tell him how much of a mook I've been for not staying in touch...let him know I...

 

 

...

 

 

...let him know I missed chatting...let him know he was in my prayers while he fought this horrible disease, and I work at a hospital so I know just how horrible it can be...just to let him know that, just because we hadn't talked in a few years, I still considered him a good friend...just to let him know...seeing that he passed less than two weeks later, just...leaves regret...

 

 

...

 

 

I really want to thank Richard (Fio - calling people by their real names seems weird, and yet it helps right now), GM, & 'Tep for thinking of me when they found out...and thanks, alanshu, you made me smile and I really needed it right now...anyone that says you can't have "real friends" online has never been lucky enough to have them...as much as it hurts right now, I feel very lucky...thanks, guys...

Edited August 15, 2013 by Sargallath Abraxium