Jump to content
The Community Blog (An Invitation)
New Community Blog (Me & Obsidian)

Jesus walks the earth again?

BruceVC

By BruceVC
in Way Off-Topic

 Share

Recommended Posts

LadyCrimson

LadyCrimson

Posted
Posted

It only took me 2 years to learn how to raise the dead. But I was a prodigy. My teachers were very sad when I decided that raising the dead was boring and unfullfilling and left the order to get married and raise cats, instead.

  • Like 1
“Things are as they are. Looking out into the universe at night, we make no comparisons between right and wrong stars, nor between well and badly arranged constellations.” – Alan Watts
Link to comment
Share on other sites
LadyCrimson

LadyCrimson

Posted
Posted

For me personally, its really just that I don't expect Jesus to say *Look at that Roland Emmerich movie. Things are totally going to happen like that*

Well, I suppose if Jesus (or any other religion icon figure) were to show up again, today, I figure after a while they'd realize they need to try and "relate" to modern times and popular references, and would, likely, get it all wrong on how to go about it, at first.  :-

 

Seriously tho...in today's cynical times, it would be difficult to convince very many. The loaves and fishes thing wouldn't be enough. Burning bushes? Special effects. You'd have to pull the moon out of its orbit with a wave of the hand or something along that scale (while simultaneously having that not cause disaster). Even then, someone is going go think James Cameron was behind it all, somehow.

“Things are as they are. Looking out into the universe at night, we make no comparisons between right and wrong stars, nor between well and badly arranged constellations.” – Alan Watts
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Tale

Tale

Posted
Posted

 

For me personally, its really just that I don't expect Jesus to say *Look at that Roland Emmerich movie. Things are totally going to happen like that*

Well, I suppose if Jesus (or any other religion icon figure) were to show up again, today, I figure after a while they'd realize they need to try and "relate" to modern times and popular references, and would, likely, get it all wrong on how to go about it, at first.  :-

 

Seriously tho...in today's cynical times, it would be difficult to convince very many. The loaves and fishes thing wouldn't be enough. Burning bushes? Special effects. You'd have to pull the moon out of its orbit with a wave of the hand or something along that scale (while simultaneously having that not cause disaster). Even then, someone is going go think James Cameron was behind it all, somehow.

 

Get some decent scientists to investigate your claims, to witness and try to debunk them. Someone like James Randi. We have plenty of people out there who investigate phenomena directly with experimental methods, not simple theorycraft or re-creation.

 

Don't just do it on video or behind closed doors for an audience that consists of people who think they're reincarnations of martian princesses.

  • Like 1
"Show me a man who "plays fair" and I'll show you a very talented cheater."
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Drowsy Emperor

Drowsy Emperor

Posted
Posted

Dostoyevsky gave a pretty accurate depiction of what would happen to the son of God were he to return.

И погибе Српски кнез Лазаре,
И његова сва изгибе војска, 
Седамдесет и седам иљада;
Све је свето и честито било
И миломе Богу приступачно.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Calax

Calax

Posted
Posted

Of course Jesus walks the earth. My good friend Jesus Castillo has been here for over 20 years.

Did he write his Ese about being Jesus?

  • Like 1

Victor of the 5 year fan fic competition!

 

Kevin Butler will awesome your face off.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Calax

Calax

Posted
Posted

What a load of rubbish. Jesus cannot be an Australian

 

 

Where would they have found three wise men or a virgin?

 

 

...

 

..

 

.

The Aboriginie's and a survivor of a plane crash.

Victor of the 5 year fan fic competition!

 

Kevin Butler will awesome your face off.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
PK htiw klaw eriF

PK htiw klaw eriF

Posted
Posted

What a load of rubbish. Jesus cannot be an Australian

 

 

Where would they have found three wise men or a virgin?

 

 

...

 

..

 

.

Import?

"Akiva Goldsman and Alex Kurtzman run the 21st century version of MK ULTRA." - majestic

"you're a damned filthy lying robot and you deserve to die and burn in hell." - Bartimaeus

"Without individual thinking you can't notice the plot holes." - InsaneCommander

"Just feed off the suffering of gamers." - Malcador

"You are calling my taste crap." -Hurlshort

"thankfully it seems like the creators like Hungary less this time around." - Sarex

"Don't forget the wakame, dumbass" -Keyrock

"Are you trolling or just being inadvertently nonsensical?' -Pidesco

"we have already been forced to admit you are at least human" - uuuhhii

"I refuse to buy from non-woke businesses" - HoonDing

"feral camels are now considered a pest" - Gorth

"Melkathi is known to be an overly critical grumpy person" - Melkathi

"Oddly enough Sanderson was a lot more direct despite being a Mormon" - Zoraptor

"I found it greatly disturbing to scroll through my cartoon's halfing selection of genitalias." - Wormerine

"I love cheese despite the pain and carnage." - ShadySands

Link to comment
Share on other sites
babaganoosh13

babaganoosh13

Posted
Posted (edited)

Well if he could turn water into gasoline, he probably would be the saviour of modern civilisation.

Isn't that what they're already doing at the tar sands?

Edited by babaganoosh13

You see, ever since the whole Doritos Locos Tacos thing, Taco Bell thinks they can do whatever they want.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Walsingham

Walsingham

Posted
Posted

What a load of rubbish. Jesus cannot be an Australian

 

Are you going to tell Julian Assange, or shall I?

  • Like 2

"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
AGX-17

AGX-17

Posted
Posted (edited)

I can guarantee you there are at least a million people on Earth who believe they are Jesus You Mean From the Bible Jesus Yes From the Bible Jesus That's Me, minimum. This is not remarkable in any way.

 

Seriously, this isn't even original. I guess if you aren't from MURRKA you wouldn't have a lot of familiarity with cult leaders claiming to be the second coming, molesting children and then dying in gun battles with federal agents.

 

South Africa, you owe me like one, one and a half minutes, however long it took for me to spit out this post.

Edited by AGX-17
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Walsingham

Walsingham

Posted
Posted

I can guarantee you there are at least a million people on Earth who believe they are Jesus You Mean From the Bible Jesus Yes From the Bible Jesus That's Me, minimum. This is not remarkable in any way.

 

Seriously, this isn't even original. I guess if you aren't from MURRKA you wouldn't have a lot of familiarity with cult leaders claiming to be the second coming, molesting children and then dying in gun battles with federal agents.

 

South Africa, you owe me like one, one and a half minutes, however long it took for me to spit out this post.

 

If I were feeling unkind I might ask if - given the popularity of being Jesus - this doesn't say more about your federal agencies.

  • Like 1

"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Tale

Tale

Posted
Posted

 

I know whenever someone asks me if I'm a god I always say yes in the off chance they may be Gozer the Gozerian

I hear you brother. I wear a crucifix on my necklace just in case I ever encounter a vampire.

 

What if you get turned into a vampire? You have to think these things through.
"Show me a man who "plays fair" and I'll show you a very talented cheater."
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Walsingham

Walsingham

Posted
Posted

 

 

I know whenever someone asks me if I'm a god I always say yes in the off chance they may be Gozer the Gozerian

I hear you brother. I wear a crucifix on my necklace just in case I ever encounter a vampire.

 

What if you get turned into a vampire? You have to think these things through.

 

 

I think preventing that is what the cross is for.

"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
rjshae

rjshae

Posted
Posted (edited)

Do cult leaders tend to be sociopaths looking to exploit people or charismatic psychotics? I wonder if there's been many studies on the subject.

 

Well, senior level managers are more likely to be psychopaths...

Edited by rjshae

"It has just been discovered that research causes cancer in rats."

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Calax

Calax

Posted
Posted

My personal cult is kinda small, but I have big plans for brainwashing.

Victor of the 5 year fan fic competition!

 

Kevin Butler will awesome your face off.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Walsingham

Walsingham

Posted
Posted

I don't know what brainwallowing would be, as opposed to brainwashing. But I like the idea.

"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...