Bioware does Warhammer 40K

[Monte Carlo]

^ Bio could work with that. It's like forbidden lurve, both mentally and physically. The Space Marines, having discovered lurve through the power of the Dialogue Wheel, would... improvise.

 

* Imagines ideas posted to Bioware Forums *

 

* shudders *

[Keyrock]

The romances could involve a lot of awkward hugging and dry humping cutscenes.  Come to think of it, Bioware seems to have some experience with that...

[Monte Carlo]

Space Marines dry-humping. Bejaysus this thread is heading downhill even faster than I anticipated.

 

Next, our Ork LI crosses the romantic divide with a Chaos Marine. In a tank.

[Agiel]

Tsk tsk people. Have we so soon forgotten Love Can Bloom?

 

That said, I'm more of a fan of Love and Krieg.

 

Could swear I had a hot Howling Banshee on Howling Banshee image to share in my mess of a My Pictures folder though.

Edited May 8, 2013 by Agiel

[Nonek]

A space marine romance:

 

His eager hands, shaking with barely restrained lust, slowly reached out to caress her voluptuous form. Oil dripping from his meaty fingers, he began to rub and massage every inch of her curvaceous form, his excitement building by the moment. His eyes wandering greedily over her body were suddenly stopped by the dread regard of her sight, with laser precision she held him immobile in her regard. Snarling he wrapped her in a towel of softest synthskin, wiping oil and dirt away from her slippery form, before laying it down upon his matress. Clumsily he slammed his load into her, grunting with satisfaction, such a tight, eminently right fit.

 

By he on holy Terra, Brother Magnus loved cleaning his bolter.

[Keyrock]

A space marine romance:

 

His eager hands, shaking with barely restrained lust, slowly reached out to caress her voluptuous form. Oil dripping from his meaty fingers, he began to rub and massage every inch of her curvaceous form, his excitement building by the moment. His eyes wandering greedily over her body were suddenly stopped by the dread regard of her sight, with laser precision she held him immobile in her regard. Snarling he wrapped her in a towel of softest synthskin, wiping oil and dirt away from her slippery form, before laying it down upon his matress. Clumsily he slammed his load into her, grunting with satisfaction, such a tight, eminently right fit.

 

By he on holy Terra, Brother Magnus loved cleaning his bolter.

 

Nonek, you cray.

[Gorth]

Ork theological debates.

Brutal but kunnin' or kunnin' but brutal ?

I believe (pun unintended) that Ork theology is whether you favour Gork or Mork more (i.e. cunning vs. brute strength)? Most Orks pay tribute to both and differences are usually settled with typical Ork pragmatism.

[Cultist]

Tsk tsk people. Have we so soon forgotten Love Can Bloom?

 

That said, I'm more of a fan of Love and Krieg.

 

Could swear I had a hot Howling Banshee on Howling Banshee image to share in my mess of a My Pictures folder though.

Every time see this, I inevitably remember My Immortal. Warhammer 40k fanfics are one of the worst EVER. On general, everything fan-made in Wh40k that is not ironic and mockery is ridiculously awful, with few exceptions.

[TrashMan]

 

I........... Don't know what to make of this.

 

The certainty of Eldar/space marine coupling is horrifying, yet I cannot deny I would be all over any 40k rpg. 

 

I thought Space Marines were castrated either chemically or literally when they're turned into super men? They're also given powerful acid glands so no kissing either.

 

 

Actually no.

SM's are fully capable in that regard, they just don't have time or much interest...

 

And they also control the acid glands, so the saliva is acidic only when they want it to be.

[Cultist]

Actually no.

SM's are fully capable in that regard, they just don't have time or much interest...

 

And they also control the acid glands, so the saliva is acidic only when they want it to be.

 

Capable, but sterile. But of course nothing is beyond Dark Gods' powers... In books there were slaaneshi traitor band called Violators under command of hedonistic Dradnought.

Edited May 8, 2013 by Cultist

[Drowsy Emperor]

Acidic saliva, seriously.

[TrashMan]

 

Actually no.

SM's are fully capable in that regard, they just don't have time or much interest...

 

And they also control the acid glands, so the saliva is acidic only when they want it to be.

 

Capable, but sterile. But of course nothing is beyond Dark Gods' powers... In books there were slaaneshi traitor band called Violators under command of hedonistic Dradnought.

 

 

I don't recall ever seeing that in any bit of fluff.

 

There is nothing implying they are sterile...at all. Altough their offspring probably wouldn't have any gene-seed benefit.

[Oner]

 

 

Actually no.

SM's are fully capable in that regard, they just don't have time or much interest...

 

And they also control the acid glands, so the saliva is acidic only when they want it to be.

 

Capable, but sterile. But of course nothing is beyond Dark Gods' powers... In books there were slaaneshi traitor band called Violators under command of hedonistic Dradnought.

 

 

I don't recall ever seeing that in any bit of fluff.

 

There is nothing implying they are sterile...at all. Altough their offspring probably wouldn't have any gene-seed benefit.

I have read about their sterility too somewhere once. No idea where though.

[TrashMan]

I can guarantee you that that's not the case, because that's the topic that was brought up numerous times among some 40K nuts and there was absolutely no evidence to support it.

[Humanoid]

Obviously it's just information from someone in the future, after Bioware reuse the genophage plot device with their new property.

[Keyrock]

Bioware has pushed forward with same sex romances, so I assume that will be in there too.  I wonder if the Adeptus Astartes have a don't ask don't tell policy?  I don't happen to have a copy of the Codex Astartes in front of me.

Edited May 9, 2013 by Keyrock

[aluminiumtrioxid]

I can guarantee you that that's not the case, because that's the topic that was brought up numerous times among some 40K nuts and there was absolutely no evidence to support it.

 

 On the other hand, imagining the mighty Adeptus Astartes, superhuman defenders of the Imperium, with their comparatively tiny, shrunken nutsacks dangling uselessly between thighs bigger than my waist does fill me with malicious satisfaction. It totally should be canon.

[Drowsy Emperor]

I see you people are warming up to the idea of a Bioware made WH40K game.

[TrashMan]

 

I can guarantee you that that's not the case, because that's the topic that was brought up numerous times among some 40K nuts and there was absolutely no evidence to support it.

 

 On the other hand, imagining the mighty Adeptus Astartes, superhuman defenders of the Imperium, with their comparatively tiny, shrunken nutsacks dangling uselessly between thighs bigger than my waist does fill me with malicious satisfaction. It totally should be canon.

 

 

Well actually.... it's probably the other way around. Their members are proportionally bigger.

 

Not exactly the proper place to discuss the effects of being violated by a space marine (as per Slaneeshi Chaos Space marines), but the results are "man of steel, woman of cleenex".

 

 

That said...

If Bio were to do their usual stuff in a 40K RPG, the backlash would make DA2 and ME3 look like a insignificant fart.

[Malcador]

I see you people are warming up to the idea of a Bioware made WH40K game.

Heresy spreads and consumes all it touches.

[Walsingham]

Erm... I love 40K, but aren't most of the 'good guy' decisions anathema to mainstream morality?

 

Exterminatus bombardment, anyone?

[Agiel]

Erm... I love 40K, but aren't most of the 'good guy' decisions anathema to mainstream morality?

 

Exterminatus bombardment, anyone?

I suppose it comes from the British penchant for cynicism and borderline nihilism. Take for example Judge Dredd ostensibly being a fascist and Gestapo-ersatz despite being the hero of the series.

[Keyrock]

I've honestly never thought of Space Marines as 'good guys'.

[Malcador]

Given circumstances, Exterminatus might not be that repugnant. Unless your Kryptmann, they tend to use that as a last resort when the planet and populace are doomed. Given that the alternatives are being eaten, tortured and your soul eaten or enslaved or just other nasty ways, not that immoral to euthanize people. Maybe.

[Monte Carlo]

 

Erm... I love 40K, but aren't most of the 'good guy' decisions anathema to mainstream morality?

 

Exterminatus bombardment, anyone?

I suppose it comes from the British penchant for cynicism and borderline nihilism. Take for example Judge Dredd ostensibly being a fascist and Gestapo-ersatz despite being the hero of the series.

 

 

You understand us. This is good.