Jump to content

The funny things thread Part 2


Rosbjerg

Recommended Posts

I don't what it is, but

crack me up.

"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well I dunno if someone posted this already but I found this somewhat funny.

 

Ultimate "NOOOOOOOOO" Compilation

“Things are as they are. Looking out into the universe at night, we make no comparisons between right and wrong stars, nor between well and badly arranged constellations.” – Alan Watts
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Selekted Riting Wrules - Especially useful for all those students and such writing papers... :lol:

 

1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.

2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.

4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat)

6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.

7. Be more or less specific.

8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.

9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.

10. No sentence fragments.

11. Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.

12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.

14. One should NEVER generalize.

15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

16. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

17. One-word sentences? Eliminate.

18. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

19. The passive voice is to be ignored.

20. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.

21. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.

22. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.

23. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth-shaking ideas.

24. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."

25. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times:

Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.

26. Puns are for children, not groan readers.

27. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

28. Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

29. Who needs rhetorical questions?

30. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

 

And the last one...

 

31. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Good one, I know I overuse parentheses when writing on forums, but I never do it "in real life". Strange.

I, abuse, commas, like, there's, no, tomorrow.

 

I also vouch to boldly split infinitives at every available opportunity. Because that rule is made up.

"Show me a man who "plays fair" and I'll show you a very talented cheater."
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I also vouch to boldly split infinitives at every available opportunity. Because that rule is made up.

 

"By the way, would you convey my compliments to the purist who reads your proofs and tell him or her that I write in a sort of broken-down patois which is something like the way a Swiss-waiter talks, and that when I split an infinitive, God damn it, I split it so it will remain split, and when I interrupt the velvety smoothness of my more or less literate syntax with a few sudden words of barroom vernacular, this is done with the eyes wide open and the mind relaxed and attentive. The method may not be perfect, but it is all I have."

"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Good one, I know I overuse parentheses when writing on forums, but I never do it "in real life". Strange.

I, abuse, commas, like, there's, no, tomorrow.

That I do in legal writing. I do an extra (sometimes only <- see) proof-reading pass just to remove all the extra commas... :p

You're a cheery wee bugger, Nep. Have I ever said that?

ahyes.gifReapercussionsahyes.gif

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

 

Edit: Replaced links with better versions (without horrible music)

“He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would surely suffice.” - Albert Einstein
 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

 

Edit: Replaced links with better versions (without horrible music)

The only words that exist as a suitable response to those videos would be filtered out.

"Show me a man who "plays fair" and I'll show you a very talented cheater."
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Edit: Replaced links with better versions (without horrible music)

 

That is just insane. He can't have been more than 3 feet off the ground!

"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I liked the second video too. At 1:02 you see the same pass from the pilots perspective :ermm:

“He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would surely suffice.” - Albert Einstein
 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...