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Description for my book


Eddo36

Aye or nay?  

17 members have voted

  1. 1. Aye or Nay?

    • Aye
      4
    • Nay
      2
    • Undecided
      4
    • That's just plain stupid
      7


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Why are we all being mean to this guy? I can't remember.

There will always be a couple of trolls who think it easier to ridicule than to be constructive. Maybe they lack imagination themselves?

 

Can you really start a sentence with "But..." in English?

 

Yes. People who think differently are usually advocates of dogmatic linguistic prescription and no one ever got anywhere by listening to those people.

"My hovercraft is full of eels!" - Hungarian tourist
I am Dan Quayle of the Romans.
I want to tattoo a map of the Netherlands on my nether lands.
Heja Sverige!!
Everyone should cuffawkle more.
The wrench is your friend. :bat:

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I'm easily irritated when it comes to writing, so you may wish to skip this post if you don't like rather aggressive critiques.

 

To be blunt, I'm not sure what's worse: the description, or what it tells us about the book itself.

 

My advice would have to be to stop reading airport novels.

Edited by Darth InSidious

This particularly rapid, unintelligible patter isn't generally heard, and if it is, it doesn't matter.

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Why are we all being mean to this guy? I can't remember.

 

This topic ring a bell? >_<

 

Ah yes. THAT topic. You see the cause of my bottom trepidation.

"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

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I'm easily irritated when it comes to writing, so you may wish to skip this post if you don't like rather aggressive critiques.

 

To be blunt, I'm not sure what's worse: the description, or what it tells us about the book itself.

 

My advice would have to be to stop reading airport novels.

 

The best response as of yet. Thank you.

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Why are we all being mean to this guy? I can't remember.

There will always be a couple of trolls who think it easier to ridicule than to be constructive. Maybe they lack imagination themselves?

 

Can you really start a sentence with "But..." in English?

 

Yes. People who think differently are usually advocates of dogmatic linguistic prescription and no one ever got anywhere by listening to those people.

Well, if you don't realise what effect it has and use it because you can't figure out where to stick the dependent clause it just looks silly. But... (hahaha) theres no final verdict on style.

Na na  na na  na na  ...

greg358 from Darksouls 3 PVP is a CHEATER.

That is all.

 

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Hey guys thanks for all your help. I've changed the description a tad. Just got the cover of my book done. The guy who did it is Serg S. He does work for Obsidian, too.

 

89419291rv4.png

 

Hope it's not too shabby or cliche. Thoughts on the cover?

 

If you want to read the story for free, just send me a PM.

Edited by Eddo36
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Hmm, i do get a strong Splinter Cell vibe from that cover, and i haven't even played any of the SC games. Try changing the colour-setting, by adding some blue and red and less emphasis on black, grey and white.

Edited by Meshugger

"Some men see things as they are and say why?"
"I dream things that never were and say why not?"
- George Bernard Shaw

"Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man."
- Friedrich Nietzsche

 

"The amount of energy necessary to refute bull**** is an order of magnitude bigger than to produce it."

- Some guy 

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I didn't know they published fanfiction. Unfortunately the cover reminds me from a aesthetic standpoint of this book my friend got once. He worked at this restaurant and this crazy guy came in just before closing and basically wouldn't leave until my friend gave him few dollars for his book titled My Brother, My Lover. After the purchase the author assured my friend that he wouldn't be able to go through a whole chapter without stopping to 'rub one out'. The book was nothing but incest and run-on sentences, hope you manage something a bit better, Eddos.

Edited by Laozi

People laugh when I say that I think a jellyfish is one of the most beautiful things in the world. What they don't understand is, I mean a jellyfish with long, blond hair.

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I think he means the cover, Eddo. And I agree, it has a very strong splinter cell feel. I like the background, though.

 

I think you'd get the best feedback if you perhaps gave us a very short summary of what the book is about and what is your aim, intended audience, etc.

 

Without that info, combining your latest cover and back-cover summary, I get an impression of your run-of-the-mill contemporary conspiracy / thriller / investigation book, which, if done well, can hold up for a nice short read. Whether that is good, disappointing or off is up to your expectations of course.

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Um, how is it like Splinter Cell? It's a horror novel.

 

As Tigranes said, i was talking about the cover.

"Some men see things as they are and say why?"
"I dream things that never were and say why not?"
- George Bernard Shaw

"Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man."
- Friedrich Nietzsche

 

"The amount of energy necessary to refute bull**** is an order of magnitude bigger than to produce it."

- Some guy 

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Oh, I was hoping the cover wouldn't resemble Splinter Cell to that many people. I already had the idea in my head before Splinter Cell existed.

 

And the book is about specially trained special forces guys chasing the cop Brian Reaper during the aftermath of a zombie uprising. It's more exciting than I can put on a sentence. I used real world military intel to be as realistic as possible. It's for horror lovers who love plot twists.

Edited by Eddo36
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I think the book would be better if it was about the Brain Reaper instead of cop Brian Reaper.

"My hovercraft is full of eels!" - Hungarian tourist
I am Dan Quayle of the Romans.
I want to tattoo a map of the Netherlands on my nether lands.
Heja Sverige!!
Everyone should cuffawkle more.
The wrench is your friend. :bat:

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Just need thoughts. Will go on back cover. Aye or Nay? -

 

The horrific wrath of an ancient curse is unleashed upon an unsuspecting city. As darkness begins to swarm over the living, a police officer desperately fights back against the nightmare. Wounded and hunted down, Officer Brian Reaper faces his darkest night. But as the heart of the evil looms closer, nothing is as it seems.

 

btw for anyone wondering, the story is 18+ so I'm not going to post a link to it here. if you want to read, just send me a PM.

 

It is a premise that has been done before, many times before, almost to the point of being cliche. In the final piece try to have a few twists that goes against the cliche, or make it more of a character driven story. The one thing I would change for certain is the officer's name. You're trying to hard with that. In stead of Brian Reaper, call him Alan Price. It is more subtle. Al-- Alfred, as in Hitchco-ck, and Price as in Vincent Price.

Edited by Killian Kalthorne

"Your Job is not to die for your country, but set a man on fire, and take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe."

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A twist? Like, the real zombies are the spec forces? :rolleyes:

 

They have been zombie nazis.

 

hehe that just reminds me

a friend of mine had been without internet access for a couple of weeks, so when he finally got it back as a joke i told him to go find some zombie nazi porn

 

he actually managed to find some :)

when your mind works against you - fight back with substance abuse!

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^^Also known as "rule 34".

"Some men see things as they are and say why?"
"I dream things that never were and say why not?"
- George Bernard Shaw

"Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man."
- Friedrich Nietzsche

 

"The amount of energy necessary to refute bull**** is an order of magnitude bigger than to produce it."

- Some guy 

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