Pidesco Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 Why are we all being mean to this guy? I can't remember. There will always be a couple of trolls who think it easier to ridicule than to be constructive. Maybe they lack imagination themselves? Can you really start a sentence with "But..." in English? Yes. People who think differently are usually advocates of dogmatic linguistic prescription and no one ever got anywhere by listening to those people. "My hovercraft is full of eels!" - Hungarian tourist I am Dan Quayle of the Romans. I want to tattoo a map of the Netherlands on my nether lands. Heja Sverige!! Everyone should cuffawkle more. The wrench is your friend.
Deadly_Nightshade Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 Why are we all being mean to this guy? I can't remember. This topic ring a bell? "Geez. It's like we lost some sort of bet and ended up saddled with a bunch of terrible new posters on this forum." -Hurlshot
Darth InSidious Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 (edited) I'm easily irritated when it comes to writing, so you may wish to skip this post if you don't like rather aggressive critiques. To be blunt, I'm not sure what's worse: the description, or what it tells us about the book itself. My advice would have to be to stop reading airport novels. Edited January 8, 2009 by Darth InSidious This particularly rapid, unintelligible patter isn't generally heard, and if it is, it doesn't matter.
Walsingham Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 Why are we all being mean to this guy? I can't remember. This topic ring a bell? Ah yes. THAT topic. You see the cause of my bottom trepidation. "It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"." -Elwood Blues tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.
Eddo36 Posted January 9, 2009 Author Posted January 9, 2009 I'm easily irritated when it comes to writing, so you may wish to skip this post if you don't like rather aggressive critiques. To be blunt, I'm not sure what's worse: the description, or what it tells us about the book itself. My advice would have to be to stop reading airport novels. The best response as of yet. Thank you.
Aram Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 You see the cause of my bottom trepidation. They make a cream for that.
Gorgon Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 Why are we all being mean to this guy? I can't remember. There will always be a couple of trolls who think it easier to ridicule than to be constructive. Maybe they lack imagination themselves? Can you really start a sentence with "But..." in English? Yes. People who think differently are usually advocates of dogmatic linguistic prescription and no one ever got anywhere by listening to those people. Well, if you don't realise what effect it has and use it because you can't figure out where to stick the dependent clause it just looks silly. But... (hahaha) theres no final verdict on style. Na na na na na na ... greg358 from Darksouls 3 PVP is a CHEATER. That is all.
Dark_Raven Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 You see the cause of my bottom trepidation. They make a cream for that. all this talk of cream and botoms, yer gonna get eddo excited. Hades was the life of the party. RIP You'll be missed.
Eddo36 Posted January 9, 2009 Author Posted January 9, 2009 (edited) Hey guys thanks for all your help. I've changed the description a tad. Just got the cover of my book done. The guy who did it is Serg S. He does work for Obsidian, too. Hope it's not too shabby or cliche. Thoughts on the cover? If you want to read the story for free, just send me a PM. Edited January 9, 2009 by Eddo36
Meshugger Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 (edited) Hmm, i do get a strong Splinter Cell vibe from that cover, and i haven't even played any of the SC games. Try changing the colour-setting, by adding some blue and red and less emphasis on black, grey and white. Edited January 9, 2009 by Meshugger "Some men see things as they are and say why?""I dream things that never were and say why not?"- George Bernard Shaw"Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man."- Friedrich Nietzsche "The amount of energy necessary to refute bull**** is an order of magnitude bigger than to produce it." - Some guy
Laozi Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 (edited) I didn't know they published fanfiction. Unfortunately the cover reminds me from a aesthetic standpoint of this book my friend got once. He worked at this restaurant and this crazy guy came in just before closing and basically wouldn't leave until my friend gave him few dollars for his book titled My Brother, My Lover. After the purchase the author assured my friend that he wouldn't be able to go through a whole chapter without stopping to 'rub one out'. The book was nothing but incest and run-on sentences, hope you manage something a bit better, Eddos. Edited January 9, 2009 by Laozi People laugh when I say that I think a jellyfish is one of the most beautiful things in the world. What they don't understand is, I mean a jellyfish with long, blond hair.
Eddo36 Posted January 9, 2009 Author Posted January 9, 2009 Um, how is it like Splinter Cell? It's a horror novel.
Tigranes Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 I think he means the cover, Eddo. And I agree, it has a very strong splinter cell feel. I like the background, though. I think you'd get the best feedback if you perhaps gave us a very short summary of what the book is about and what is your aim, intended audience, etc. Without that info, combining your latest cover and back-cover summary, I get an impression of your run-of-the-mill contemporary conspiracy / thriller / investigation book, which, if done well, can hold up for a nice short read. Whether that is good, disappointing or off is up to your expectations of course. Let's Play: Icewind Dale Ironman (Complete) Let's Play: Icewind Dale II Ironman (Complete) Let's Play: Divinity II (Complete) Let's Play: Baldur's Gate Trilogy Ironman - BG1 (Complete) Let's Play: Baldur's Gate Trilogy Ironman - BG2 (In Progress)
Meshugger Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 Um, how is it like Splinter Cell? It's a horror novel. As Tigranes said, i was talking about the cover. "Some men see things as they are and say why?""I dream things that never were and say why not?"- George Bernard Shaw"Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man."- Friedrich Nietzsche "The amount of energy necessary to refute bull**** is an order of magnitude bigger than to produce it." - Some guy
Eddo36 Posted January 9, 2009 Author Posted January 9, 2009 (edited) Oh, I was hoping the cover wouldn't resemble Splinter Cell to that many people. I already had the idea in my head before Splinter Cell existed. And the book is about specially trained special forces guys chasing the cop Brian Reaper during the aftermath of a zombie uprising. It's more exciting than I can put on a sentence. I used real world military intel to be as realistic as possible. It's for horror lovers who love plot twists. Edited January 9, 2009 by Eddo36
Diogo Ribeiro Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 A twist? Like, the real zombies are the spec forces?
Pidesco Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 I think the book would be better if it was about the Brain Reaper instead of cop Brian Reaper. "My hovercraft is full of eels!" - Hungarian tourist I am Dan Quayle of the Romans. I want to tattoo a map of the Netherlands on my nether lands. Heja Sverige!! Everyone should cuffawkle more. The wrench is your friend.
Killian Kalthorne Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 (edited) Just need thoughts. Will go on back cover. Aye or Nay? - The horrific wrath of an ancient curse is unleashed upon an unsuspecting city. As darkness begins to swarm over the living, a police officer desperately fights back against the nightmare. Wounded and hunted down, Officer Brian Reaper faces his darkest night. But as the heart of the evil looms closer, nothing is as it seems. btw for anyone wondering, the story is 18+ so I'm not going to post a link to it here. if you want to read, just send me a PM. It is a premise that has been done before, many times before, almost to the point of being cliche. In the final piece try to have a few twists that goes against the cliche, or make it more of a character driven story. The one thing I would change for certain is the officer's name. You're trying to hard with that. In stead of Brian Reaper, call him Alan Price. It is more subtle. Al-- Alfred, as in Hitchco-ck, and Price as in Vincent Price. Edited January 9, 2009 by Killian Kalthorne "Your Job is not to die for your country, but set a man on fire, and take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe."
Killian Kalthorne Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 A twist? Like, the real zombies are the spec forces? They have been zombie nazis. "Your Job is not to die for your country, but set a man on fire, and take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe."
Diogo Ribeiro Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 And Brian Reaper is the last Jew on Earth!
Shryke Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 A twist? Like, the real zombies are the spec forces? They have been zombie nazis. hehe that just reminds me a friend of mine had been without internet access for a couple of weeks, so when he finally got it back as a joke i told him to go find some zombie nazi porn he actually managed to find some when your mind works against you - fight back with substance abuse!
kirottu Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 I think that This post is not to be enjoyed, discussed, or referenced on company time.
Meshugger Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 ^^Also known as "rule 34". "Some men see things as they are and say why?""I dream things that never were and say why not?"- George Bernard Shaw"Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man."- Friedrich Nietzsche "The amount of energy necessary to refute bull**** is an order of magnitude bigger than to produce it." - Some guy
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