Uwe Boll appreciation thread

[WILL THE ALMIGHTY]

Bloodrayne wasn't all that ****ty, really.

[Volourn]

His movies, in general, are nowhere near as crappy as many claim. Most of 'em are definitely watchable.

[Gorth]

It takes a rather rare talent to make a full length movie with a scantily clad Kristanna Loken unwatchable. Yes Bloodrayne, I am looking at you!

[Volourn]

Never watched Bloodrayne. *shrug*

[Gorth]

See? That is how unwatchable it is!

[Volourn]

Says the one who watched it...

[Hiro Protagonist]

I've actually seen quite a few of Uwe Boll's movies. Alone in the Dark, Bloodrayne and House of the Dead. I've been meaning to see Bloodrayne II and Dungeon Siege but haven't got around to it. His movies are pretty bad but not unwatchable as long as you have very low expectations.

 

I've just looked up Uwe Boll on the imdb and I'm shocked to see there is a Far Cry movie that's been made.

Edited November 20, 2008 by Hiro Protagonist

[Killian Kalthorne]

That opening scene in Postal was absolutely hilarious.

[Volourn]

I actually liked Alone in the Dark. Severely underrated. I can't even remember House of the Dead; but IIRC, it's the one on the isalnd right with the kiddies 9well.. all horros are with kiddies heh)? Like I said above, I haven't seen Bloodraye. Or Dungeon Seige.

Edited November 20, 2008 by Volourn

[Rosbjerg]

I keep wondering why semi-ok actors keep accepting roles in his films, when they know it's gonna be one of the worst ones they've ever been in.

 

But for the life of me I can't figure out if he's just really bad at filmmaking, or he's doing it on purpose for some wierd reason, like cult status. Maybe he is just doing it for tax evasions.

[Walsingham]

You chaps need to spend more time exploring the dark netherworld of bad movies. To get an idea, rent the worst movie you can find in blockbuster. Watch the trailers. Notice how many of those films you've never even heard of? Go find a copy and watch THEIR trailers. That's bad films.

[Blarghagh]

The worst thing about Dungeon Siege is that it wasn't bad to the point of being funny, it was just plain bad. Which means that because he's getting better he's getting worse.

[Hiro Protagonist]

I keep wondering why semi-ok actors keep accepting roles in his films, when they know it's gonna be one of the worst ones they've ever been in.

 

But for the life of me I can't figure out if he's just really bad at filmmaking, or he's doing it on purpose for some wierd reason, like cult status. Maybe he is just doing it for tax evasions.

 

Semi-ok actors?

 

In Bloodrayne, there's Michael Madsen, Kristanna Loken, Michelle Rodriguez and Ben Kingsley. And in Dungeon Siege there's Jason Statham, Leelee Sobieski, John Rhys Davies, Claire Forlani, Ron Perlman, Ray Liotta, Burt Reynolds, and also Kristanna Loken. There more than just semi-ok actors.

[Hiro Protagonist]

You chaps need to spend more time exploring the dark netherworld of bad movies. To get an idea, rent the worst movie you can find in blockbuster. Watch the trailers. Notice how many of those films you've never even heard of? Go find a copy and watch THEIR trailers. That's bad films.

 

I know those bad movies and seen those trailers and from those trailers also went and rented them movies. So watching a Uwe Boll movie is like a masterpiece of cinema compared to the likes of the movies you're talking about. eg. Frankenfish or The Creeps where a mad scientist brings back Dracula, The Mummy, The Wolfman and Frankenstein as midgets and as per the review, the movie looks like it was made for less than $200.00 (I didn't mind these movies. I guess it says a lot about what I watch)

Edited November 20, 2008 by Hiro Protagonist

[Calax]

wait wait wait... I thought uwe boll had a lot more movies to his credit than what I'm seeing on his imdb page.

 

also I challenge you all to get through Gladiators and Amazons I did but only because there was boobies and I was 15 at the time.

[Gorth]

You chaps need to spend more time exploring the dark netherworld of bad movies. To get an idea, rent the worst movie you can find in blockbuster. Watch the trailers. Notice how many of those films you've never even heard of? Go find a copy and watch THEIR trailers. That's bad films.

 

I know those bad movies and seen those trailers and from those trailers also went and rented them movies. So watching a Uwe Boll movie is like a masterpiece of cinema compared to the likes of the movies you're talking about. eg. Frankenfish or The Creeps where a mad scientist brings back Dracula, The Mummy, The Wolfman and Frankenstein as midgets and as per the review, the movie looks like it was made for less than $200.00 (I didn't mind these movies. I guess it says a lot about what I watch)

Hey! Frankenfish was so awesome that I bought the dvd from amazon. I dread the day I'll be forced to watch Bloodrayne again

 

FYI it was a choice between that or cheap, typical hotel pr0n (I was stuck working interstate for a week), I really THOUGHT I was making the good choice. The alternative would have had better directing and acting.

[Calax]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prince_of_Per..._of_Time_(film)

 

 

awww hell.

[Rosbjerg]

I keep wondering why semi-ok actors keep accepting roles in his films, when they know it's gonna be one of the worst ones they've ever been in.

 

But for the life of me I can't figure out if he's just really bad at filmmaking, or he's doing it on purpose for some wierd reason, like cult status. Maybe he is just doing it for tax evasions.

 

Semi-ok actors?

 

In Bloodrayne, there's Michael Madsen, Kristanna Loken, Michelle Rodriguez and Ben Kingsley. And in Dungeon Siege there's Jason Statham, Leelee Sobieski, John Rhys Davies, Claire Forlani, Ron Perlman, Ray Liotta, Burt Reynolds, and also Kristanna Loken. There more than just semi-ok actors.

 

I guess it's fairly common for actors, even good ones, to get roles in bad films - but my question still remains, here they knew what they were going into, why did they accept? Those you mention here shouldn't have a problem getting better roles.

[Diogo Ribeiro]

I fully appreciate Uwe Boll for introducing a whole new scale of cinematographic quality and expectations. Ever since Boll, I've stopped using "Point Break" as an example of trash.

[kirottu]

I liked Point Break when I saw it. It wasn

[Diogo Ribeiro]

Whoa.

[kirottu]

Dude, it was Brokeback Mountain of it

[Amentep]

While I can't say I really appreciate his films, they're not the worst films I've ever seen.

 

Its also interesting how each one has a different major problem from the last.

 

Of the three I've seen, I'd say Alone in the Dark was the weakest. Lack of Day-Night continuity that rivaled Plan 9 from Outer Space combined with some unconvincing acting, some ridiculous set pieces, aand clumsy editing and storytelling but without much "fun". House of the Dead is a lot of fun until they get to the 200 mile walk/gunfight between the edge of the woods and the shack (which is at best, 10 feet away; what did they do, walk in a spiral around the shack for 20 minutes?) at which point it just gets completely ridiculous. Bloodrayne is just kind of silly most of the time, with the occasional giggle-worthy scene.

[Hurlshort]

Point Break is awesome. Anyone who says otherwise doesn't understand the ocean.

[Gfted1]

I guess it's fairly common for actors, even good ones, to get roles in bad films - but my question still remains, here they knew what they were going into, why did they accept?

 

For the fat bag of loot.

 

Someone remind me, in Bloodrayne the protaganist meets up with another woman who had hands grafted where her feet used to be, right? I think that was where I switched off my brain and settled in for just staring at her latex covered body for the rest of the movie.

Edited November 20, 2008 by Gfted1