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The Community Blog (An Invitation)

Zero Punctuation - Yahtzee reviews

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in Computer and Console

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That was surprisingly not as negative as I expected.

Its hard to be too negative about a game that lets you play a naked chick that lets you summon hordes of undead to beat on people.

Murphy's Law of Computer Gaming: The listed minimum specifications written on the box by the publisher are not the minimum specifications of the game set by the developer.

 

@\NightandtheShape/@ - "Because you're a bizzare strange deranged human?"

Walsingham- "Sand - always rushing around, stirring up apathy."

Joseph Bulock - "Another headache, courtesy of Sand"

You could do that in Oblivion, and that game did not require a monthly fee to play it. In fact, that was also doable in both Neverwinter Nights I and II - although all three of the aforementioned games did encourage you to wear something when not playing a monk.

"Geez. It's like we lost some sort of bet and ended up saddled with a bunch of terrible new posters on this forum."

-Hurlshot

 

 

He mentions mirrors edge in one of those text-only jokes at the end, but yeah.

sporegif20080614235048aq1.gif

Yawn.

"Alright, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade - make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager. Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons. Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons. I'm going to to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!"

I though that was a good one. It's about time someone started suggesting how games can be good. Otherwise how will the poor simps ever make good games?

"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

  • 2 weeks later...
Braid

"Geez. It's like we lost some sort of bet and ended up saddled with a bunch of terrible new posters on this forum."

-Hurlshot

 

 

Hilarious.

 

But now I know Yahtzee hates me.

"Alright, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade - make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager. Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons. Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons. I'm going to to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!"

That was actually quite good and covered just about all parts of the game. :lol:

 

I do think he missed the part about the story being more of a carrier which uses metaphors to explain a general idea and not so much a geek out on forums to show your mastery at cracking references tory.

 

But now I know Yahtzee hates me.

We all do if you haven't bought Braid yet.

sporegif20080614235048aq1.gif

I don't, that game is a pile of Hades.

Edited by Nick_i_am

Hadescopy.jpg

(Approved by Fio, so feel free to use it)

Let me guess you we're stumped by the first puzzle? Or was it the lack of co-op multiplayer?

sporegif20080614235048aq1.gif

coming next spring; Braid 2: CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING IN MY SKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN!

Hadescopy.jpg

(Approved by Fio, so feel free to use it)

:lol:

 

Gotta love the ending-comment.

"Some men see things as they are and say why?"
"I dream things that never were and say why not?"
- George Bernard Shaw

"Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man."
- Friedrich Nietzsche

 

"The amount of energy necessary to refute bull**** is an order of magnitude bigger than to produce it."

- Some guy 

Too Human

"Geez. It's like we lost some sort of bet and ended up saddled with a bunch of terrible new posters on this forum."

-Hurlshot

 

 

Something tells me he wasn't to fond of Too Human.

 

"Baldur's Gait?"

"Your Job is not to die for your country, but set a man on fire, and take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe."

Why do unskipable sequences still exist, and why are they so prevalent. It is the cardinal sin of game design.

 

It's right up there with the secrets of the pyramids and the success of marmite.

Edited by Gorgon

Na na  na na  na na  ...

greg358 from Darksouls 3 PVP is a CHEATER.

That is all.

 

Why do unskipable sequences still exist, and why are they so prevalent. It is the cardinal sin of game design.

There is a universial law that says that all game desginers must have their heads up their asses one fifth of all time.

 

Otherwise games could be too awesome and they would destroy the universe.

sporegif20080614235048aq1.gif
Why do unskipable sequences still exist, and why are they so prevalent. It is the cardinal sin of game design.

There is a universial law that says that all game desginers must have their heads up their asses one fifth of all time.

 

Otherwise games could be too awesome and they would destroy the universe.

 

 

Man has a point. If they were flawless we would never stop playing them.

 

Oh, wait.

"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

Unskippable death-sequences? Right control-stick NOT handling the camera? Oh dear....

"Some men see things as they are and say why?"
"I dream things that never were and say why not?"
- George Bernard Shaw

"Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man."
- Friedrich Nietzsche

 

"The amount of energy necessary to refute bull**** is an order of magnitude bigger than to produce it."

- Some guy 

Unskippable death-sequences? Right control-stick NOT handling the camera? Oh dear....

 

Auto-targeting in a shooter/RPG/beat'em up hybrid?

 

That just sounds so wrong.

"Alright, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade - make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager. Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons. Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons. I'm going to to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!"

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