Kaftan Barlast Posted December 3, 2005 Share Posted December 3, 2005 I bet you thought I was going to post somekind of list I found on a seedy, dark corner of the net? No sir, thats not what youre getting. This is a thread where we will collectively list the most common and annoying tabletop gaming clich DISCLAIMER: Do not take what I write seriously unless it is clearly and in no uncertain terms, declared by me to be meant in a serious and non-humoristic manner. If there is no clear indication, asume the post is written in jest. This notification is meant very seriously and its purpouse is to avoid misunderstandings and the consequences thereof. Furthermore; I can not be held accountable for anything I write on these forums since the idea of taking serious responsability for my unserious actions, is an oxymoron in itself. Important: as the following sentence contains many naughty words I warn you not to read it under any circumstances; botty, knickers, wee, erogenous zone, psychiatrist, clitoris, stockings, bosom, poetry reading, dentist, fellatio and the department of agriculture. "I suppose outright stupidity and complete lack of taste could also be considered points of view. " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Child of Flame Posted December 4, 2005 Share Posted December 4, 2005 So...should we spam this one now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaftan Barlast Posted December 4, 2005 Author Share Posted December 4, 2005 Yes. DISCLAIMER: Do not take what I write seriously unless it is clearly and in no uncertain terms, declared by me to be meant in a serious and non-humoristic manner. If there is no clear indication, asume the post is written in jest. This notification is meant very seriously and its purpouse is to avoid misunderstandings and the consequences thereof. Furthermore; I can not be held accountable for anything I write on these forums since the idea of taking serious responsability for my unserious actions, is an oxymoron in itself. Important: as the following sentence contains many naughty words I warn you not to read it under any circumstances; botty, knickers, wee, erogenous zone, psychiatrist, clitoris, stockings, bosom, poetry reading, dentist, fellatio and the department of agriculture. "I suppose outright stupidity and complete lack of taste could also be considered points of view. " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Child of Flame Posted December 4, 2005 Share Posted December 4, 2005 Man, this is just so awkward. It's just...usually these things come along naturally. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calax Posted December 5, 2005 Share Posted December 5, 2005 I actually did that star wars one... you forgot "Not blowing everything up". I played a hunter game where we just tried to steal some medical supplies from a hospital and ended up blowing it sky high. Thus we all got the "wanted" flaw. Victor of the 5 year fan fic competition! Kevin Butler will awesome your face off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walsingham Posted December 7, 2005 Share Posted December 7, 2005 - The players decide to sneak away from the scene of a crime unobtrusively rather than setting fire to everything. Or was that just us? "It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"." -Elwood Blues tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkside Posted December 7, 2005 Share Posted December 7, 2005 The Dwarven fighter not being a complete drunk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vashanti Posted December 8, 2005 Share Posted December 8, 2005 My bit of unoriginality: I hate it when I start off a campaign with "you're all in a tavern..." Very cliche. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farbautisonn Posted May 28, 2007 Share Posted May 28, 2007 When the dwarf HAS to spike his RP with poor Scottish/irish dialect. When the villan HAS to give a full rundown of why his plans are just before he leaves you to his complete nitwit prison ward. When the elf HAS to be a magnificent creature of magic and aestethics. When the newcommer female HAS to be an elf druid or ranger (cuz she likes animals so much). When the newbie CRPG player joins a PnP group and insists on checking ALL the slain rats for loot. When the tavern is described as "seedy and smelly". ect ect ect -Farb "Politicians. Little tin gods on wheels". -Rudyard Kipling. A European Fallout timeline? Dont mind if I do! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walsingham Posted May 28, 2007 Share Posted May 28, 2007 Having a female NPC interact with the party. Think about it. "It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"." -Elwood Blues tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metadigital Posted May 28, 2007 Share Posted May 28, 2007 A girl's gotta work. OBSCVRVM PER OBSCVRIVS ET IGNOTVM PER IGNOTIVS OPVS ARTIFICEM PROBAT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Volourn Posted May 28, 2007 Share Posted May 28, 2007 (edited) A dwarf who isn't all about the gold. A dwarf who isn't about prearranged marriages. A dwarf and elf friendship that isn't based on 'mutal kinda respect for the others' races; but on actual friendship (only one 'professional' dwarf/elf friendship did this as well. A thief (rogue) who isn't a thief AT ALL. Heroes who makes mistakes/the 'wrong' or 'immoral (IRL) choice based on actual character traits and not simply based on player stupity. Best example of this was a character of mine (my namesake) who actually called the bluff of opposing orcs holding a party member hostage, and killed them; but not they killed the fellow PC, and had to deal with the consenquences for a long time and it atcually influenced said character's personality and choices later on. Meetting up with 'famous' characters, and interatcing with them realistically and not in the 'OMG, That's Elminster', I read about him, he's a level 29 mage so let's not piss him off' kinda lameo way the majority of players play it or, hey, that's Artemis Entreri, he MUST be evil. I read it in the novel though my character never met him. A dwarf not afraid of water. In fact so much, he dons a Helm of Underwaterbreathing and after being dumped in the ocean nad has to literally 'walk with the sharks' (and avoid them). A PC losing a body part, doesn't get it back right away in some lame scheme, which does chnage the character's personality. Parties of dynamically opposed alignments and/or view points realisticlaly breaking up and not just because 'x character is evil and y character is good'; but because it fits the game. The campaign story being allowed to flow in a completely different direction due to party choices and the DM allowing (even encouraging) it. P.S. That's my proudest moment as a DM instead of the ultra rigid DM who won't allow his story be 'ruined' because of player choice (only allowing chocies that don't really effecting the main plot). A hobgoblin assassin, and an orc shaman being two of the most developed and realistic arch nemesis I've seen (I DMed one, and was a player for another). Characters with natural leadership come to the forfront naturally instead of forced or player power. An ogre raping a PC (female ogre on male PC, btw ewwww). romance between PC and NPC that isn't focred, or feeling like it's just geeks pretending to have romance in their lives to ignore the fact they cna't get a date in RL. HAHAHA! That goes along that not every female NPC is automatically a **** or puritan virigin; but actually role-played by the DM as a 'real person' (well, as real as any fictional character can be heh). I could go on... Edited May 28, 2007 by Volourn DWARVES IN PROJECT ETERNITY = VOLOURN HAS PLEDGED $250. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farbautisonn Posted May 28, 2007 Share Posted May 28, 2007 Meetting up with 'famous' characters, and interatcing with them realistically and not in the 'OMG, That's Elminster', I read about him, he's a level 29 mage so let's not piss him off' kinda lameo way the majority of players play it or, hey, that's Artemis Entreri, he MUST be evil. I read it in the novel though my character never met him. Love this. Same as with Drizzt. Some people cave over backwards when Drizzt is encountered. "Oh its Drizzt the cool good Harper Drow". How the hell would we know ? He could be a spy, an advance scout for an attack ? My char never saw Drizzt and for all intents and purposes he is just a drow. Drows in Faerun are usually deadly and evil to the core. Why would a veteran of countless battles in the underdark suddenly give quarter to a drow ? I don't really like his pompous holyer than thou attitude from the novels either. Neither of us did. We ended up sending Drizzt packing, because the mere Idea of a "good" drow was too far fetched. I would have loved an audience with Szass Tam but we unfortunately never got ourselves in that much of a pickle. -Farb "Politicians. Little tin gods on wheels". -Rudyard Kipling. A European Fallout timeline? Dont mind if I do! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Volourn Posted May 28, 2007 Share Posted May 28, 2007 "I don't really like his pompous holyer than thou attitude from the novels either." Well, that shouldn't matter to your PCs thoughs. (OT, I don't think he's all that pompous or holyer than thou; but he does have his moments). He has moments where he's not even sure what's good and what's evil. I reccommend his short story in 'Heroes of Faerun' short story collection. He almost defionitely does the wrong thing in it, and is absolutely crushed in the aftermath. Anyways,... My namesake's initial encounter with Elminister was interesting to say the least. Volourn came from MH and never atcually heard about El.. anyways, he was in (and around) SD helping the good folk there with some drow (and, their underlings) problems... somehow the PCs (including me) got framed for murdering a farmer (drow had done it; but it was amd eto look like we had). Anyways, while my character was LG, he also didn't feel it neccessarily to follow what he saw as 'corrupt' human laws and decided to leave town in orde rto prove his innocence to the 'foolish' humans. My 'partner in crime' and I ran into Big E who recognized us from the Wanted Posters. At first he was willing to listen to our please of innocence; but ouyr refusal to surrender didn't please. As things got heated, E turned us (temporarily) into goats.. The fact we were willing to play our characetrs in not knowing how powerful this 'old man' was (obviously a mage; but knowing he was such high level as our characetrs were like 5th) we ha dtold him to leave us alone. Thankfully, all worked out in the end; but at leats we didn't role-play as being feareful of his great power or hatred of his 'goodness' that most PCs would have. Good stuff. Anyways,... stories too much... DWARVES IN PROJECT ETERNITY = VOLOURN HAS PLEDGED $250. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farbautisonn Posted May 29, 2007 Share Posted May 29, 2007 As I said. We try to keep meta-gaming to a minimum. Just because I've read a ****eload of novels (and I believe the episode you refer to is the one where this guy gets hung ?), doesn't mean that my character knows what I know. -Farb "Politicians. Little tin gods on wheels". -Rudyard Kipling. A European Fallout timeline? Dont mind if I do! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metadigital Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 Hmmm, I wonder if that counts towards the multiple-personalities merit badge? OBSCVRVM PER OBSCVRIVS ET IGNOTVM PER IGNOTIVS OPVS ARTIFICEM PROBAT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dunniteowl Posted June 4, 2007 Share Posted June 4, 2007 Not sure if I got the "flow" of this thread down, though if I read correctly, you're looking for those overworn cliches that we all have seen dozens, if not tens of dozens of times and really hate? Like: The Elven Ranger on a Quest to Rid the Forest of Orcs. The pair of dumb ogres who can't decide how to eat the captured halfling and so you attack them and free the hobbit. The Mage who is too "above" stooping to do actual physical labor when the party is doing something non magical. The Pious Cleric who is always pooh poohing the established metods of attack as Brutal and Unjust. The Druid who never gets angry, because that wouldn't be Truely Neutral (though it would be humanistic.) The half million Kwai Chang Kane knockoff Shao'lin Monks running around the realms spouting zen and kicking butt. Paladins that don't stop and consider the danger of their actions and rush in, shouting, "My faith shall grant me victory!" This is the place for that sort of stuff, right? regards, dunniteowl In all seriousness lies all lies, half truths, death, misery and the great suffering of the worlds. Embrace your seriousness, then poke it in the eye, push it down and give it a good swift kick. And in all seriousness, if you take me seriously, you're going to definitely regret it. 'Cause I'm just kidding, baby, yeah! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Musopticon? Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 I've always liked being a "zen paladin". Is that a cliche? kirottu said: I was raised by polar bears. I had to fight against blood thirsty wolves and rabid penguins to get my food. Those who were too weak to survive were sent to Sweden. It has made me the man I am today. A man who craves furry hentai. So let us go and embrace the rustling smells of unseen worlds Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metadigital Posted June 8, 2007 Share Posted June 8, 2007 Shaolin War Priest? OBSCVRVM PER OBSCVRIVS ET IGNOTVM PER IGNOTIVS OPVS ARTIFICEM PROBAT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farbautisonn Posted June 8, 2007 Share Posted June 8, 2007 Hmmm, I wonder if that counts towards the multiple-personalities merit badge? I have it. Now I am going for the "Schizo-Manic-Depressive-retard" badge. -Farb "Politicians. Little tin gods on wheels". -Rudyard Kipling. A European Fallout timeline? Dont mind if I do! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Musopticon? Posted June 8, 2007 Share Posted June 8, 2007 Shaolin War Priest? More like "Stoic Watchman" kirottu said: I was raised by polar bears. I had to fight against blood thirsty wolves and rabid penguins to get my food. Those who were too weak to survive were sent to Sweden. It has made me the man I am today. A man who craves furry hentai. So let us go and embrace the rustling smells of unseen worlds Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WILL THE ALMIGHTY Posted June 9, 2007 Share Posted June 9, 2007 "You will fight an epic battle against evil" then finding out your first mission is clearing out 12 random murlocs. "Alright, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade - make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager. Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons. Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons. I'm going to to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wistrik Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 (edited) I'll reverse too. - A dragon with no treasure. - The player character is a supporting role for the story's real hero (NPC). - The damsel in distress is an ugly hag. - Someone needs a favor and you're able to help them right then and there, without having to search for X item in Y location. - By chance you encounter the primary villain and are able to solve the campaign immediately, rather than having to adventure for days/weeks/months before meeting him again, and without an epic battle. - An adventure without combat. - A campaign with no magical weapons. - The primary villain is your self. Edited June 20, 2007 by Wistrik Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walsingham Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 A group of player characters who don't try and set fire to everything. "It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"." -Elwood Blues tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tale Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 (edited) I enjoy reversals: - The wise old sage in the party turns out to be a complete moron. When he suggests embracing the cultural differences with the savages in an attempt to negotiate with them and convince them to stop their raids, following his advice only enrages them and forces you to have to wipe out the savages completely to end their renewed killing spree. - The group's rogue is not a dashing man who has been in and out of jail all his life, a noble rejecting her opulent lifestyle, or otherwise a male noble supplementing the same. He, is in fact, a farmboy who read to many stories of adventures growing up and only wishes he were dashing. He's not very good with his fingers or charming, but he knows far more than the wise old sage and the only reason he's of real use as a Rogue is he's read every book on lockpicking ever written, though he's never tried it himself. He did steal a purse once and went to jail for it, but the only reason he was caught was because he felt really bad and turned himself in. Edited June 21, 2007 by Tale "Show me a man who "plays fair" and I'll show you a very talented cheater." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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