kumquatq3 vs. a chimp

Atomic Space Vixen · March 10, 2005

If you've been following the thread that started with a tragic story and fell into a debate over whether kumquatq3 could best a chimpanzee in a fight, you'll know what this is about. If you haven't been following it, good for you.

jaguars4ever · March 10, 2005

Original Thread ---> http://forums.obsidianent.com/index.php?showtopic=31544

Current betting odds brought to you by jag:

Chimp : 9:1

Kumquatq : 1:250

"I'll feast on your soul, kumquatq!"

^_^

Rosbjerg · March 11, 2005

I vote for "The Champ" .. I'll help with the eventual training!!

Gorth · March 11, 2005

I voted Chimp :("

But I do think you guys forgot something in the premisses, like what are the rules for the fight ?

Naked, no tools, locked in a featureless arena. Chimp wins, no contest.

Given any preparation time ? Psycholgical buildup, staring each other in the eye phase first ? (I've seen K3's picture, he might improve the odds a bit).

Is performance enhancers/painkillers (doping) allowed ?

Basic tools like clubs etc. ?

If K3 were allowed to wear icehockey goalie equipment and wielding an icehockey stick, he might have a decent fighting chance. Of course, the chimp should be offered the same :blink:

And so on and so on. We need the rules (if any) before the match

Rosbjerg · March 11, 2005

right-o!

well it must be an eviroment where neither have an advantage ..

whatever weapons are found at the respective area are at their disposel!

only a week of mental (and some physical) preparation are allowed on kumquatq3 side .. and the Chimp will be well fed and allowed to swing around all it want!

no drugs, no stimulants!

sounds fair?

jaguars4ever · March 11, 2005

I voted Chimp "

But I do think you guys forgot something in the premisses, like what are the rules for the fight ?

Naked, no tools, locked in a featureless arena. Chimp wins, no contest.

Given any preparation time ? Psycholgical buildup, staring each other in the eye phase first ? (I've seen K3's picture, he might improve the odds a bit).

Is performance enhancers/painkillers (doping) allowed ?

Basic tools like clubs etc. ?

If K3 were allowed to wear icehockey goalie equipment and wielding an icehockey stick, he might have a decent fighting chance. Of course, the chimp should be offered the same

And so on and so on. We need the rules (if any) before the match

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Naked? Bloody hell Gorth, do you WANT kum to lose his balls?

As for rules, I doubt the chimp will abide by any. I know in UFC anything goes except for groin strikes, eye-gouging and finger hooking...but in this case I reckon it'll be "last chimp standing".

Atomic Space Vixen · March 11, 2005

right-o!

well it must be an eviroment where neither have an advantage ..

whatever weapons are found at the respective area are at their disposel!

only a week of mental (and some physical) preparation are allowed on kumquatq3 side .. and the Chimp will be well fed and allowed to swing around all it want!

no drugs, no stimulants!

sounds fair?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

It has to be no weapons, because that's in the poll dagnabit!

Rosbjerg · March 11, 2005

well the chimp has an advantage then .. since it has better natural weapons than a human! so I wouldn't exclude what is at hand in a fight .. but I think we can agree that no man-made weapons are allowed!

jaguars4ever · March 11, 2005

Surely kum can be allowed this --->

"

Laozi · March 11, 2005

I voted for Kumquat, I don't know why, but I have faith in him. If he gets his genitals badly mutilated or not is a completely different issue

Phosphor · March 11, 2005

Had to vote for the chimp, sorry Kumquat. Now, were you Charlton Heston I'd give the odds to you, but you're no Heston.

That said, I fear for the chimp. While he'd likely win, he'd be entering a new heart of darkness in his life; emotionally scarred from the terrors of the mortal combat, the contorted face of his opponent permanently burned like a grim beacon into his memory. He'll never sleep well again, waking up screaming a blood-curdling chimp scream in the night, thinking he was back, back in that thrice-damned sparring ring.

There are no winners in this. Only a fleeting sense of victory followed by a lifetime of haunting pain.

Laozi · March 11, 2005

It sounds like a pain you know all too well

Rosbjerg · March 11, 2005

well we can make a bet about how long it takes for the survivor to commit sucide later!

Fionavar · March 11, 2005

You know I do not know whether to be afraid or slightly enamoured by the oddness of WoT ... to balance Phosphor, I'll throw in with kumquat ... I mean it's a no brainer at this point ...

FLoSD.ObE

Bokishi · March 11, 2005

It's gotta be the chimp. Monkeys are cool.

Atomic Space Vixen · March 11, 2005

Surely kum can be allowed this --->

"

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I don't know how to reply to that without breaking the TOS...

Kor Qel Droma · March 11, 2005

I vote for the simian. Although I think K3 might get a good lick or two in, once the chimp tastes blood, its over. Although if you arm K3 with a banana he might be able to pull off the biggest upset since Buster Douglas.

Nartwak · March 11, 2005

My money is on the monkey.

Darth_Radnor · March 11, 2005

kumquatq3 all the way.

Azure79 · March 11, 2005

Hmm, difficult to decide.

I'd have to see K3 in action first. I know chimps can be brutal, anyone see the muscles on Chimps? They're ginormous! Limber and strong, supple and flexible.

Er...anyways, I say some people take K3 out for a few drinks then continually poke him with a stick when he's nice and drunk. Keep badgering him and laugh in his face and all that. Then video tape it when he finally explodes into the fighting fury he has buried deep down within him.

Who knows maybe the Chimp will forfeit when faced with that image of K3 violently assaulting parking meters and SUVs on the street.

I know you have it in you Kumquat!

ShadowPaladin V1.0 · March 11, 2005

The chimp would eat him for breakfast.

Rosbjerg · March 11, 2005

The chimp would eat him for breakfast.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

and K3 would eat the chimp for dinner .. preferably with a good sauce, a baked potato, some fine french wine and steamed vegetables on the side!

kirottu · March 11, 2005

Naked

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I vote for that! What? It

deganawida · March 11, 2005

I'm pulling for the fruit (sorry, k3, couldn't resist). Beat that monkey! Er, um, beat that damn dirty ape down!

Ewen Brown · March 11, 2005

i'd go with kumq, but it'll be a very very painful victory, and only if he spends the month learning where the chimp's weak spots are, attacking the chimp's vulnerabilities is his only chance at winning

kumquatq3 vs. a chimp

In a fair fight with no weapons allowed and kumquatq3 allowed a, let's say a month for training, who would win in a fight, kumquatq3 or an adult male chimpanzee?
36 members have voted

1. In a fair fight with no weapons allowed and kumquatq3 allowed a, let's say a month for training, who would win in a fight, kumquatq3 or an adult male chimpanzee?

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kumquatq3 vs. a chimp

In a fair fight with no weapons allowed and kumquatq3 allowed a, let's say a month for training, who would win in a fight, kumquatq3 or an adult male chimpanzee? 36 members have voted

1. In a fair fight with no weapons allowed and kumquatq3 allowed a, let's say a month for training, who would win in a fight, kumquatq3 or an adult male chimpanzee?

Recommended Posts

In a fair fight with no weapons allowed and kumquatq3 allowed a, let's say a month for training, who would win in a fight, kumquatq3 or an adult male chimpanzee?
36 members have voted