Cinema and Movie Thread: flickering images

[Bartimaeus]

4 hours ago, Hurlshort said:

The Mother - J-Lo kills people to protect her daughter. We watched on mother's day, so it fit the vibe, I guess. It was pretty average, but the acting was decent. Just don't think about the villains too hard. Joseph Fiennes is always fun to see.

I think the film you're talking about is just called "Mother!" (2017), but I could be wrong. Though I haven't seen it, there is an obligatory "won't somebody axe-murder Darren Aronofsky so that he can't hurt me anymore, please and thank you?" and all that that I have to mention. Sorry, the man's made two of my very most unpleasant film experiences...well, maybe more than that if I ever watch any of his other films. If I am wise, that shouldn't happen, but...well, you know, it is me.

(e): Nope, turns out, there's also a film called "The Mother" (2023) starring Jennifer Lopez, whereas I got confused because Mother! stars Jennifer Lawrence, and apparently I thought the "J-Lo" moniker applied to Jennifer Lawrence as well. Phew, okay, that's my bad.

29 minutes ago, Keyrock said:

Given Disney's recent track record of turning their beloved animated classics into trash live action movies, what could you possibly expect?

I believe The Jungle Book remake is supposed to actually be pretty good by all accounts, but I haven't seen it myself. The animated Jungle Book certainly has its charms, particularly given the largely great musical scenes, but I've watched it in its entirety in recent memory and can say that I certainly remember it being a lot better overall when I watched it as a kid. So you never know, sometimes good things come from even totally wrongheaded ideas.

Edited May 17, 2023 by Bartimaeus

[Keyrock]

6 minutes ago, Bartimaeus said:

I believe The Jungle Book remake is supposed to actually be pretty good by all accounts, but I haven't seen it myself. The animated Jungle Book certainly has its charms, particularly given the largely great musical scenes, but I've watched it in its entirety in recent memory and can say that I certainly remember it being a lot better overall when I watched it as a kid. So you never know, sometimes good things come from even totally wrongheaded ideas.

The Jungle Book remake is the best of the Disney live action remakes I've seen. Is it as good as the animated classic? Hell no, but it's not embarrassing either, so by that standard I guess it's "pretty good". Just understand that I'm comparing against the Aladdin remake which was embarrassing and the Mulan remake which was whatever a step worse than embarrassing is. Retched, I guess? 

Edited May 17, 2023 by Keyrock

[Sarex]

15 hours ago, Hurlshort said:

Air - This was a phenomenal telling of how Nike hitched their train to Michael Jordan. Excellent cast led my Matt Damon and Ben Affleck. It was extremely good. It felt a bit like Glengarry Glen Ross, for some reason. I think just because it was so well acted.

Seconded. But man is Affleck dead in the eyes... Don't know what happened to him.

[Hurlshort]

12 hours ago, Bartimaeus said:

e): Nope, turns out, there's also a film called "The Mother" (2023) starring Jennifer Lopez, whereas I got confused because Mother! stars Jennifer Lawrence, and apparently I thought the "J-Lo" moniker applied to Jennifer Lawrence as well. Phew, okay, that's my bad.

I think Jennifer Lawrence is J-Law. I hate that I know these things.

I also realized that with Air and The Mother, I basically spent the weekend with Bennifer. 

Edited May 17, 2023 by Hurlshort

[PK htiw klaw eriF]

14 hours ago, Bartimaeus said:

I was recommended Hereditary at one point, but I never got around to seeing it.

It's very well done but I don't know if it will set off one of the many Bartimaeus Hate Thresholds and cause you to despise it and curse me with 10000 years of agony.

14 hours ago, Bartimaeus said:

but actually i just wanted to see if it was as bad as it looked, which...it wasn't, but I still didn't much like it

Damning with faint praise. I mean it can't be worse than live action Pinocchio.

14 hours ago, Bartimaeus said:

I believe The Jungle Book remake is supposed to actually be pretty good by all accounts, but I haven't seen it myself. The animated Jungle Book certainly has its charms, particularly given the largely great musical scenes, but I've watched it in its entirety in recent memory and can say that I certainly remember it being a lot better overall when I watched it as a kid. So you never know, sometimes good things come from even totally wrongheaded ideas.

14 hours ago, Keyrock said:

The Jungle Book remake is the best of the Disney live action remakes I've seen. Is it as good as the animated classic? Hell no, but it's not embarrassing either, so by that standard I guess it's "pretty good". Just understand that I'm comparing against the Aladdin remake which was embarrassing and the Mulan remake which was whatever a step worse than embarrassing is. Retched, I guess? 

I haven't seen the whole thing, but I've seen the scene where an orangutan sings "Be Like You" and all I could think about was how neither the big monkey or the kid seemed to move during the whole thing.  Did not look particularly good and really unfavorably compares to the original.

EDIT: Found em on YouTube, hopefully the mouse won't carpet bomb my apartment because of copyright.

2 hours ago, Sarex said:

Seconded. But man is Affleck dead in the eyes... Don't know what happened to him.

Ben Affleck has developed resting War Crime Survivor face recently. I'm not sure if something really bad happened with him or if in his (relatively) old age he doesn't give a **** anymore.

Edited May 17, 2023 by PK htiw klaw eriF

[Gfted1]

Hitman: Agent 47

That was more fun than I was expecting!

[Lexx]

38 minutes ago, PK htiw klaw eriF said:

Damn, this is bad.

[LadyCrimson]

Hm. On the one hand, it feels like I've seen bits of the plot before in multiple other movies.....on the other hand, that's true of almost anything by now, and if it's done well/actually good, or has an unexpected surprise or two, I like those sorts of sci-fi plots. At least it's an original IP, in that it's not a sequel, based on, or a re-interpreting/reboot, far as I can tell.

Side note: is 2+ minutes really a "teaser"? Is the full trailer going to be 4 minutes? I think I'll avoid any more trailers for it.  >.>

 

[Amentep]

 

[Bartimaeus]

the Mario movie

no, this one stinks, I was talking about the other Mario movie

no, this is insane nightmare fuel, I meant the OTHER other Mario movie

That's the one! Super Mario Brothers: The Great Mission to Rescue Princess Peach (1986). Peach suddenly crawls out of Mario's TV screen while he's up late playing video games and she asks Mario if he can protect her from Bowser, so of course Bowser and his minions immediately follow her through the TV and kidnap her, taking her back through the TV so that he can marry her. Yes, they are going to keep re-using that idea for literally our entire lives. Mario and Luigi have the figure out what the hell happened and how to try to rescue her. Random screenshots:

Spoiler

Starring Princess Peachy as 80s anime girl.

Mario and Luigi run a general store for some reason.

Mario gets adopted by some darling birds who sound suspiciously like laughing Japanese women.

All the coins they found suddenly turned into Toad girls...and there's a really tall one for some reason.

This space intentionally left blank.

Ramen was the only food they could find in the barren hellscape that is the Mushroom Kingdom...well, besides mushrooms that made Luigi get high and go insane.

Mhm.

I think Super Mario 64 had the right idea in keeping him right-side up when you're throwing him.

Peach kisses Mario for rescuing her and the Mushroom Kingdom, then her (apparently) real fiance is revealed to be the blue dog that had been following them around the whole time, the so-called Flower Prince from the neighboring kingdom who had been magically transformed by Bowser. Looks like you and Bowser have been had, Mario - welp, back to Brooklyn with you!

also i watched the chris pratt mario movie

my neices are holding me hostage pls send help

Edited May 18, 2023 by Bartimaeus

[PK htiw klaw eriF]

1 hour ago, Bartimaeus said:

my neices are holding me hostage pls send help

I'll get the gang together, we'll save you.

[Amentep]

7 minutes ago, PK htiw klaw eriF said:

I'll get the gang together, we'll save you.

What happens when his nieces turn out to be Dio?

[PK htiw klaw eriF]

5 minutes ago, Amentep said:

What happens when his nieces turn out to be Dio?

Half of us die horribly.

[Hurlshort]

I remember watching a Mario and Luigi TV show as a kid.

That theme song rocks.

[Bartimaeus]

19 hours ago, Hurlshort said:

I remember watching a Mario and Luigi TV show as a kid.

That theme song rocks.

i've watched an embarrassing amount of this show as well, mostly because my nieces like it and are still holding me hostage PLEASE SEND HELP

Edited May 19, 2023 by Bartimaeus

[Keyrock]

19 hours ago, Hurlshort said:

I remember watching a Mario and Luigi TV show as a kid.

That theme song rocks.

I watched the Super Mario Super Show religiously back in the day. If I remember correctly, that's the show where we got the Zelda cartoon that produced this gem:

 

[Sarex]

I was in a mood for some sci-fi. It was a toss up between Dredd and the new Blade Runner. After my 5th rewatch of Dredd, it's still great.

[PK htiw klaw eriF]

Keeping Company (2021)

Whoever wrote this movie has either worked in sales or had a very bad experience with an insurance company. It bills itself as a horror comedy, but for me ended up in more of a satire akin to Don't Look Up but better. It's a solid B movie, not gonna wow anyone but a fun watch for 90 minutes.

16 hours ago, Bartimaeus said:

my nieces like it and are still holding me hostage PLEASE SEND HELP

I tried. Our plane crashed (a big bug was ripping people's tongues out) so we have to walk. We'll probably get there in sixty days or so.

[Keyrock]

IMHO this is quite possibly the greatest fight scene in cinematic history:

I doubt this is truly single take, I'm sure there was some digital massaging in there, but that's not the point. This fight is so visceral, so impactful, so desperate. It starts out fast then slows down as everyone gets winded, bruised, and battered. They suck wind, they struggle to get to their feet, they desperately reach for whatever they can find to use as a weapon. Compare this to the CGI fight scenes that are flashy and spectacular but damage seems to make little, if any, difference. Sure, they'll put some blood on the face of the actor, but when it's time to act, it's like they're 100% fresh, undamaged. I liken this to what I call the 4 tier of selling in professional wrestling. For those not familiar, selling is the art of making damage look real in rasslin'.

Tier 1: No selling - This is where the recipient doesn't even acknowledge the damage. There are cases where this is appropriate (a monster heel laughing off the attacks of a jobber), but otherwise this is terrible. Tier 2: The Momentary Sell - Immediately after being hit with a damaging move the recipient shows pain and struggle, moments later they go back to acting like nothing happened. Most young boys and young girls fall into this category, as selling is not usually one of the first things wrestlers learn to do well, as well as veterans who are just not very good. Tier 3: The Convenient Sell - This is where the wrestler sells the move immediately after it was performed and after, but only when it's convenient. Let's say, for the sake of argument, that it was a move that hurt their leg. They will get up limping, show pain on their face. As long as they are on the defensive they will visibly have a hurt leg. As soon as it's time for them to get on offense, magically, the leg doesn't hurt any more and they normally perform any move that includes planting off the hurt leg. Most mid to high level wrestlers fall into this category. Tier 4: The True Sell - This is where the recipient sells the move immediately after the move and going forward in EVERYTHING they do, offense or defense. This is what the most elite of the elite do. They are weaving injuries into the story of the match. They will fall onto their face when someone whips them into the ropes because their leg gave out. They will falter when performing a suplex because their back gave out, with the opponent falling on top of them for a pin attempt. They will switch to throwing strikes with their off arm because their dominant arm was injured. There are usually only a handful of wrestlers on Planet Earth that are professional, committed, and smart enough to be consistent tier 4 sellers at any given time. Currently it's Bryan Danielson, Meiko Satomura, Iyo Sky, and... 

[Raithe]

On 5/17/2023 at 3:53 PM, Gfted1 said:

Hitman: Agent 47

That was more fun than I was expecting!

I quite liked it for what it was.

Then again, I also mostly enjoyed Timothy Olyphant's attempt in the 2007 Hitman.

[Hurlshort]

White Men Can't Jump (2023) - This was very good. The premise is similar to the original, but the story is very different. The actors were all great and it was a lot of dialogue. Like, I probably need to watch it again to catch more of the conversations. It was fast paced and fun.

Spoiler

It also ended on a much higher note than the original. I loved the original, but it was definitely a depressing end for Woody Harrelson. It worked for the movie, but it was nice that in his one they are still friends in the end and have achieved some of their dreams. The new guys are not as dumb as Woody and Wesley Snipes. Positive vibes, man.

 

Edited May 23, 2023 by Hurlshort

[InsaneCommander]

Dungeons and Dragons: Honor among Thieves

I liked it more than I thought I would. Not all the jokes work, but that was not a problem.

[Gfted1]

 

[Keyrock]

Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023) - It was a rather enjoyable adventure movie. It would have benefited from Jeremy Irons voraciously devouring the scenery, but beyond that, I have no complaints. Good looking movie, well cast, well acted, and, most importantly, fun. My favorite part was the comically obese dragon, that was awesome. I had a giant goofy smile on my face for that entire scene.

There will certainly be a sequel, because standalone movies are no longer a thing, not for big budget movies, anyway, but the DDCU (Dungeons & Dragons Cinematic Universe) is off to a good start. Thumbs up. Watch the movie if you haven't already.

[ShadySands]

We also liked Dungeons and Dragons.