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Hard Ticket To Hawaii (1987) - Donna, a DEA agent and cargo plane pilot (fun fact: Playboy Playmate Dona Speir was a pilot in training at the time of filming so she actually flew the cargo plane in some of the scenes) and her civilian friend Taryn are hunted by drug smugglers when they happen across the smuggling operation. Also, a snake infected by cancer carrying rats (I swear I didn't make that up) is accidentally loaded onto their plane and gets loose on the island of Honolulu.

This movie has a reputation as an all time B movie favorite and that reputation is well earned. This is much better than Malibu Express, largely due to the absurdity level being turned up. The acting ranges from bad to terrible and there's some amazingly cheesy dialogue, but it works because everything in this movie is tongue-in-cheek. This movie also features 2 of the greatest scenes in cinematic history. I won't spoil them for you here, though chances are you've already seen clips of these famous scenes, but, on the off chance that you haven't seen anything about Hard Ticket To Hawaii and you want to see it (as you should), then I implore you to avoid any YouTube clips of it so that these scenes can hit you full force with how ludicrous they are. One of my favorite other moments happens after Donna and Taryn first stumble across the drug smugglers. The 2 ladies get back to their home base and decide that the best way to figure out what to do next is to get topless and hop in a jacuzzi. This is a thing that happens. /salutes Andy Sidaris🫡

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Honor Among Thieves. Pretty good for what it is. Got more than a few laughs out of me and the action was fairly interesting and engaging.

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I enjoyed the first one for its combo of sorta-serious and cheese. Mostly the cheese.
Looks like they've embraced the cheese now. So, yes, please.

 

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“Things are as they are. Looking out into the universe at night, we make no comparisons between right and wrong stars, nor between well and badly arranged constellations.” – Alan Watts
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Picasso Trigger (1988) - Donna and Taryn return, as well as Edy and Jade. Taryn is apparently now also a federal agent, she was a civilian in Hard Ticket To Hawaii, or was it all a cover? It's not particularly well explained and, quite frankly, who cares? This globetrotting adventure has an evil mastermind betraying his partner then going on a vengeance spree eliminating the federal agents that took down his brother. But is there more going on?🤔

This is the most James Bond of the 3 movies with secret agents, double agents, double crosses, and gadgets. It also continues the trend of including an Abilene, Cody in Malibu Express, Rowdy in Hard Ticket To Hawaii, and Travis here, and all of them being unable to hit a moving target with a gun. Will there be an Abilene in Savage Beach? Will he ever hit anything with a gun? Stay tuned to find out. This is a fun and lighthearted action espionage movie with, honestly, less nudity than I expected (there's still boobs and butts to see, worry not). It's better than Malibu Express but never reaches the levels of absurdity that make Hard Ticket To Hawaii such a blast to watch.

Edited by Keyrock

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"Any organization created out of fear must create fear to survive." - Bill Hicks

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Jack Nicholson stars in Italian thriller/drama(?) The Passenger (1975).

Brevity is the soul of wit, which is a fancy way of saying quit wasting my time. Despite a glacially slow (and mightily clunky) introductory first half hour, and then a still very slow but not quite as clunky next half hour, I was determined to see this one out...and, you know, it did eventually get somewhere. Maybe not quite enough to make up for the first hour really needing to be watched at 2x or 3x speed, but I didn't feel cheated from watching it by the end, so that's a success in my books. Though I do still wish it had been 20-30 minutes shorter at 2 hours 6 minutes. The premise doesn't really matter, just look at the poster to determine if you want to watch it.

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How I have existed fills me with horror. For I have failed in everything - spelling, arithmetic, riding, tennis, golf; dancing, singing, acting; wife, mistress, whore, friend. Even cooking. And I do not excuse myself with the usual escape of 'not trying'. I tried with all my heart.

In my dreams, I am not crippled. In my dreams, I dance.

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7 minutes ago, uuuhhii said:

strange world

for a movie seems like have decent budget barely see any talk about it

creature design are fun

i'm someone that keeps up with the latest disney trash, or at least i thought i was, because i ain't never heard of strange world

though i've watched most of them, i can't say that i've actually liked any disney animated feature film since Frozen - even Frozen II was fairly abominable

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How I have existed fills me with horror. For I have failed in everything - spelling, arithmetic, riding, tennis, golf; dancing, singing, acting; wife, mistress, whore, friend. Even cooking. And I do not excuse myself with the usual escape of 'not trying'. I tried with all my heart.

In my dreams, I am not crippled. In my dreams, I dance.

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12 hours ago, uuuhhii said:

strange world

for a movie seems like have decent budget barely see any talk about it

creature design are fun

It looked like a family drama masquerading as a pulp adventure from the trailers.

I cannot - yet I must. How do you calculate that? At what point on the graph do "must" and "cannot" meet? Yet I must - but I cannot! ~ Ro-Man

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14 hours ago, Bartimaeus said:

i'm someone that keeps up with the latest disney trash, or at least i thought i was, because i ain't never heard of strange world

though i've watched most of them, i can't say that i've actually liked any disney animated feature film since Frozen - even Frozen II was fairly abominable

liked moana

that big crab look funny

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https://comicbook.com/movies/news/beetlejuice-2-official-2024-release-date-announced/?

Warner Bros. Pictures has officially announced the Beetlejuice 2 release date. In a surprise move, the Tim Burton-directed sequel is set to arrive in less than two years with Warner Bros. scheduling it for a September 6th, 2024 release date. Not only will Michael Keaton return to play the titular ghost with the most, he'll be joined by returning cast-members Winona Ryder as Lydia Deetz and Catherine O'Hara as Lydia's step-mother, Delia Deetz. They'll also be joined by Tim Burton's Wednesday Addams herself, Jenna Ortega, who will reportedly play Lydia's daughter. Deadline also reports that Justin Theroux has joined the cast.

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"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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3 hours ago, Raithe said:

I'm not sure how to feel about this. I enjoyed Beetlejuice back in the day and I've quite enjoyed some of Tim Burton's other movies, but it's been a loooong time since he's made anything worthwhile IMHO. The last Tim Burton movie that I legitimately liked was... Mars Attacks! Also, this has all the makings of a masturbatory nostalgia fest. Nostalgia is like powdered sugar, it's great when it's on top of an already delicious pastry, but just eating a bowl of powdered sugar by itself is sickening. 

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"Any organization created out of fear must create fear to survive." - Bill Hicks

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1 hour ago, Keyrock said:

I'm not sure how to feel about this. I enjoyed Beetlejuice back in the day and I've quite enjoyed some of Tim Burton's other movies, but it's been a loooong time since he's made anything worthwhile IMHO. The last Tim Burton movie that I legitimately liked was... Mars Attacks! Also, this has all the makings of a masturbatory nostalgia fest. Nostalgia is like powdered sugar, it's great when it's on top of an already delicious pastry, but just eating a bowl of powdered sugar by itself is sickening. 

I thought this must be wrong, but then I looked at the list of Burton movies since Mars Attack! and it is fairly limited. In his defense though, a lot of the movies he has made since the 90's are geared towards kids. Corpse Bride, Frankenweenie, Alice in Wonderland, and Miss Peregrine are all very good family fare. 

I have no idea what Big Eyes is, and I have no interest is Dumbo, so I guess it really has been slim pickings for the last decade. Strange.

Michael Keaton will make it worth a watch, though, so I'm not worried about Beetlejuice 2 being bad.

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17 minutes ago, Hurlshort said:

Corpse Bride, Frankenweenie, Alice in Wonderland, and Miss Peregrine are all very good family fare. 

am gonna suggest frankenweenie is criminal underrated, though am less a fan o' alice and miss peregrine than is hurl we s'pose. we read the miss peregrine book(s) after seeing the movie and were all the more disappointed in the burton film. 

am thinking sleepy hollow deserves more love; it is a visually remarkable film regardless o' any issues you might have with storytelling. sleepy hollow were released after mars attacks!

that said, am gonna admit how when it comes to movies and books made for kids, am having a less than common pov. family fare or written for kids is all too often offered as qualifiers for anticipated perceived shortfalls in storytelling and am just not seeing the need for the crutch. oh sure, there is indeed films which is gonna appeal specific to kids and adults is perhaps able to appreciate vicarious even if the movie is objective not great. that said, is a whole lotta good movies which kids may enjoy.

a swiftly tilting planet was an excellent book. period. so too were the phantom tollbooth and the graveyard book

iron giant, spirited away and the princess bride are excellent movies. no qualifiers required.

regardless, am not thinking a beetlejuice sequel is needed, but am embarrassed to admit how in spite o' such a recognition, the chances o' us seeing the deetz and maitland clans in a new burton film is approaching 100%.

HA! Good Fun!

 

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15 hours ago, Hurlshort said:

 

I have no idea what Big Eyes is,

It's a drama about Margaret Keane, an artist whose paintings of people with large eyes became hugely popular in the 50s and 60s, and ger second husband, Walter, who claimed he was the painter and the eventual breakdown of their marriage and lawsuit to prove who was the real painter of the 'big eye' paintings. Amy Adams and Christoph Waltz starred in it.

In other news:

 

 

 

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I cannot - yet I must. How do you calculate that? At what point on the graph do "must" and "cannot" meet? Yet I must - but I cannot! ~ Ro-Man

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The Babylon 5 animated movie is B5: The Road Home, and here’s what it’s about - The Verge

“Travel across the galaxy with John Sheridan as he unexpectedly finds himself transported through multiple timelines and alternate realities in a quest to find his way back home. Along the way he reunites with some familiar faces, while discovering cosmic new revelations about the history, purpose, and meaning of the Universe.”

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"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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Nope. I really liked this movie. As crazy as it got, I had no problem enjoying it.

Spoiler

The Nope!/"greys" scene was funny. First I thought it was his sister in a costume. Then the second one appeared and I was surprised since it didn't seem they would follow that route. But in the end was just a bunch of kids, one of which was lucky not to have broken their neck.

 

Knock at the Cabin

Not a bad movie, but

Spoiler

I'm still waiting for the twist.

 

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The Witches (1966). Would've probably been a lot more interesting if it was made ten years later, by which time film sensibilities had changed a bit...ends up feeling fairly safe and a little stale for a "there's a witch!" movie. Joan Fontaine as protagonist lady was nice enough, though. Kind of reminded me a bit of Disney's Sleeping Beauty in some ways, which was a bit strange.

Little Nemo: Adventures in Slumberland (1989).

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Solid children's animated film with great animation made mostly by a Japanese studio (a very troubled collaborative development between East and West, as I understand it), not particularly innovative writing or plot but fun enough even for adults...I think better watched in Japanese than in English, though - the English cast and direction is a bit...inconsistent.

Peter Pan & Wendy (2023).

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It was a great big old mess. I'm not particularly fond of the Disney animated film, but I do like the original novel, and this film feels like...a fairly direct adaptation of the animated film while also making a lot of changes to the story and characters that also did not come from the book...some of them fine, some of them not so fine. I couldn't but help feeling very terrible for the poor lady that played Tinker Bell - not only was her CGI just atrocious and it was a noticeable eyesore any time she was on screen as a result, they also didn't let her speak for just about the entire film and she had to resort to goofy and over-the-top expressions that could work in a cartoon, but do not at all in a live-action film. She was also probably the most noticeable character re-write throughout the film, as they chose to not have her fight with or backstab Wendy, which will only bring even more scrutiny upon her character from adult fans of the original film/book wondering why the heck she's so different from previous versions. Overall, the film feels largely like a bit of a retread of other similarly misguided Disney live-action remakes like Beauty and the Beast and Cinderella and the like, so if you didn't like those and the others, probably leave it alone. But this one at least doesn't have Emma Watson's sandpaper-esque singing in it, so at least there's that. That made my skin crawl in Beauty and the Beast and that was the last one of these live-action remakes that I saw as a result (I'm pretty sure?), so it's a small but notable improvement.

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How I have existed fills me with horror. For I have failed in everything - spelling, arithmetic, riding, tennis, golf; dancing, singing, acting; wife, mistress, whore, friend. Even cooking. And I do not excuse myself with the usual escape of 'not trying'. I tried with all my heart.

In my dreams, I am not crippled. In my dreams, I dance.

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Spree (2020)

The guy from Stranger Things kills a bunch of people to make it as a streamer. That's pretty much it.

Stitches (2012)

An Irish movie about an evil clown who kills some teenagers. I guess the novelty is that the clown is just some guy here instead of a demon.

Hereditary (2018)

A disturbing nightmare about cults and other stuff. Probably one of the more component horror films I've seen in a while, but some parts did make me laugh because they're just funny out of context.

4 hours ago, Bartimaeus said:

Peter Pan & Wendy (2023).

Are your nieces holding you captive or something?

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Savage Beach (1989) - The thrilling conclusion to the Donna and Taryn trilogy, and yes, there is yet another Abilene, Shane, tying this all the way back to Malibu Express. After delivering critical medicine a severe storm forces Donna and Taryn to make an emergency landing on a remote island in the Pacific Ocean where they are dragged into a conflict between multiple factions trying to recover a shipment of gold stolen from the Philipines during WW2 by Japan that was lost at sea.

This movie features copious amounts of nudity (the most since Malibu Express and the most male nudity ever, still no dong though), sexual innuendos aplenty, double crosses, a Steyr AUG, and the worst old man makeup you'll ever see. As with the other 3 movies, the cinematography is good, Andy Sidaris knew what he was doing and how to spend his meager budget well, the acting is terrible (although there is one moment where it's just Donna and Taryn talking and the dialogue sound shockingly decent, like what 2 humans talking would actually sound like, it's just that 1 moment, though), and the action is cheesy as ****. you'll see a lot of the same actors in these movies, especially the last 3. This one also has Al Leong who's the Asian villain in every single movie that ever featured an Asian villain. I also got a laugh out of the fact that the big treasure everyone was after was one small box with 6 bars of gold.😆

Having seen these 4 movies here's my list from best to worst:

1) Hard Ticket To Hawaii - Easily the best of the 4 by virtue of the absurdity factor. Nothing in any of the other 3 movies reaches the levels of absurdity seen here.

2) Savage Beach

3) Picasso Trigger 

4) Malibu Express

Will I watch any more Andy Sidaris movies? Probably, but not for a bit. I've been told that his 90s movies were not as good as his 80s movies and Savage Beach was made in 1989. Still, I'll probably give at least one of the 90s movies a shot at some point.

Edited by Keyrock

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"Any organization created out of fear must create fear to survive." - Bill Hicks

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The Mother - J-Lo kills people to protect her daughter. We watched on mother's day, so it fit the vibe, I guess. It was pretty average, but the acting was decent. Just don't think about the villains too hard. Joseph Fiennes is always fun to see.

Air - This was a phenomenal telling of how Nike hitched their train to Michael Jordan. Excellent cast led my Matt Damon and Ben Affleck. It was extremely good. It felt a bit like Glengarry Glen Ross, for some reason. I think just because it was so well acted.

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21 hours ago, PK htiw klaw eriF said:

Are your nieces holding you captive or something?

now and forever

but actually i just wanted to see if it was as bad as it looked, which...it wasn't, but I still didn't much like it

I was recommended Hereditary at one point, but I never got around to seeing it.

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How I have existed fills me with horror. For I have failed in everything - spelling, arithmetic, riding, tennis, golf; dancing, singing, acting; wife, mistress, whore, friend. Even cooking. And I do not excuse myself with the usual escape of 'not trying'. I tried with all my heart.

In my dreams, I am not crippled. In my dreams, I dance.

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Given Disney's recent track record of turning their beloved animated classics into trash live action movies, what could you possibly expect? How many awesome animated movies turned crappy live action movies do you need before you see a pattern?

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🇺🇸RFK Jr 2024🇺🇸

"Any organization created out of fear must create fear to survive." - Bill Hicks

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