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Gfted1

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Everything posted by Gfted1

  1. I don't like PDFs. You have to stay at the computer and read it. I prefer the book so I can kick back and read it in bed. Print button meet Gabs, Gabs meet print button.
  2. Gfted1

    Jokes

    International Rules of Manhood! Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella. It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances: 1. When a heroic dog dies to save its master. 2. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse. 3. After wrecking your boss' car. 4. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game". 5. When she is using her teeth. Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies. Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her. Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complaining is allowed if the temperature is unsuitable. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing. You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend. It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach and it's delivered by a topless supermodel and it's free. Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked. Friends don't let friends wear Speedos, ever. Issue closed. If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer. Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response. Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights: 1. Yeah, Baby, Push it! 2. C'mon, give me one more! Harder! 3. Another set and we can hit the showers! Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e. Both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need. Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary. The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was occurs. It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours. Thou shall not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue. The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story. There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics, ever.
  3. ^Unfortunately, the whining of Gabs and Hades got it locked.
  4. I belive that already exists LC. Back in the day my brother went to school in Germany. He told me of some contraption/tank that he would have to activate before showering that would heat water really fast. Dunno why we dont use it over here.
  5. Call me paranoid but those questions sure smack of a setup.
  6. I dont hunt (except baby seals) but I dont have a problem with it so long as its not just for sport. Meaning, if you eat the kill/use the materials, great. If you just killed for the trophy, you suck.
  7. Well I cant speak for everyone but I use it because it makes me giggle to club those little bastards.
  8. Also watched: 40 y/o Virgin: Hilarious Dark Water: Awful Fantastic Four: Meh
  9. A1) Nope. A2) Must be a Europe thing. My water heater is on 24/7. A3) I dont do shopping but I instructed my girl to have everthing double bagged in plastic. A4) Not unless lighting farts counts. A5) Yes, with baby seal fur.
  10. Lets see, over my x-mas break I watched: The Island: Just ok. Youre right about surviving that fall though LC, that was stupid. The Cronicles of Narnia: Not bad. Liked the battle and all to strange critters. Too long. Four Brothers: So f-ing stupid even I couldnt get over it. The Exorcism of Emily Rose: Dunno. Fell asleep half way through.
  11. Meet your daddy. AKA: The Street Sweeper
  12. Too bad they cancelled the Comanche program. :n: Mmmm, ridiculous firepower. Multiple Launch Rocket System (MLRS)
  13. So purty...... F-35 JSF
  14. ^That was oddly hypnotic to watch.
  15. I was in a sweet drunken riot in Berkley, CA in 1989. People went nuts because it was some anniversity of some bum getting shot by police in a place called Peoples Park. Burning dumpsters, looting, tear gas, the whole nine yars. Good times.
  16. Went to see Saw 2 last night. Totally craptacular.
  17. Look what the cat dragged in, Gromnir Il Khan. How you been, havent seen you around for many many moons. Seen Karzak lately? I havent since he got das boot from the Lair.
  18. Nah, I only come here when my main stomping grounds is down.
  19. Hahaha, Ive been a member of this forum longer then youve had pubic hair boy.
  20. Boo Hoo, poor poopy pants. What makes you think anyone gives a ratsass what you think? Who cares what annoys you? Everyone is here for their own purposes. Youre personal opinions arent worth the air you waste spewing them. If you cant handle it, GTFO. Yes, yes I am. Does that make your eyes well up with tears? I bet youre furiously trying to come up with a smarmy reply as we speak. Dont rush, take your time and make it worth my while. Note: this wasnt intended as a flame, I was talking in general of course.
  21. You guys crack me up. What makes any of you think a new person gives a crap what your person opinions are on their posting style? If you dont like something, dont respond.
  22. "Im * communism"? I dont get it.
  23. @CoF: Whats the first word say?
  24. Every member nation is afforded a vote on whatever the subject is. Majority rules.
  25. Are you Korean LC?
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