Ah, tales of woe and persecution. The injustice.
You should have just posted the article in the languages, surprisingly people would get it translated or the array of languages understood across this forum might be used. Also, is fairly ignorant to use that as a marker of intelligence, but ironies abound.
But also, yeah, the Daily Mail was fake news before it was cool, they're like the Sun minus the **** (though, Joey Fisher IS nice, it isn't something one reads a paper for)