SirPetrakus

Are you questioning the efficiency of the Bear Squad, kind sir? You do NOT want to anger the Bear Squad! I am sorry, I can't get over how awesome that is. Bear Squad! Wow!

Another true story, we were looking into this affair about some magical item and such that was said to have great evil magical power. It was supposedly lost in an area where a large city used to be and now all the fallen were turning into undead. So on our way to the site, we encountered a Drow, there was this symbol on his forehead that symbolized him as one of the "Damned". He had set this trap up that sent logs flying onto us. - Oh my God! I think I've got it! - What? What is it? - The Dam-ed, logs ... I know what he really is! - You ... you do? *the DM* - Yes! He is a BEAVER!

Another true story, band of adventurers traveling in the elven lands stumble upon an elven battle maiden trying to lay an ambush on some wayfarer orcs crossing the woods. Most of the party were in disguise and the dwarf had made an amazing job at disguising as a halfling. So, along with the battle maiden, the party tries to make a strategic plan on how to take down the orcs. - So after the archers ambush them, me and the dwarf jump out of the foliage and attack them at close melee. - Wait, dwarf? What dwarf? - Me! - You're not a dwarf! You're a halfling! I've lived long enough to know what dwarves look like. - I roll diplomacy to convince her that I am indeed a dwarf. *fails* - Nope, she is adamant, you're a halfling true and true. *dwarf grumbles* - Well, I can't show myself without ruining the disguise ... I drop my pants. - Wow! WOW! Wow ... OK you're a dwarf I believe you.

Egads! Meant that I like Chopin as much as I like Mozart and I worship the ground Mozart walked on, so that should say everything about it.

You know, the first time we played, must have been like 10 years ago, we were kids, so it made sense that sometimes you would do the wrong thing, but this was somewhere around 5 years later, I'd think that a dragon crushing you with his weight and size would stimulate the danger senses inherent in any man and say something like I MOVE! Anyway, somewhere in between the events told, there was another legendary fighter. At the said campaign I was playing a Dark Sun half giant warped in a different world and blah blah blah blah, at 12th level me and my company were whisked away to Sigil, city of doors. Yes, I know you're not supposed to be there at 12th level cause it's a death sentence but ... anywho, as we walked around the city, a band of undead, similar to the Fallout ghouls but with a nasty temper and the inherent zombie hunger, approached us seeing a potential meal. Seeing me as the bigger meat, they tried to persuade me to come with them. Call me biased, but going home with a pack of undead never seemed like a good idea to me. So they tried to go after the second fighter in the party. - Oh, most magnificent one! Though exalted deeds have reached our ears and praises are sung every night in your name. Keepers we are of a great weapon, waiting to relinquish it to one such as you, will you come with us? *DM rolled a 20 on the bluff check* - Great weapon? Is it a greatsword? - Eh ... yes, why how did you know? - Is it vorpal? - Uh ... maybe? We've never used it ourselves my lord, we know not of its power. - So how do you know it's magical and so great? *that's me btw* - Um, well, that is, we ... we were told about the powers of the sword long ago, but, alas, we've forgotten. - Yeah, that makes sense! I should with you guys. - Dude! They're the UNDEAD! Non living things that kill living things! Are you sure that's such a good idea? - We're in Sigil! Good undead are as much a possibility here as a good Lich! - Let the man decide for himself! - OK, you're right, I shouldn't impose myself on you, I am sure you will make the sensible choice. - Right, I'm going with them! So anyway, he dies and I'm trying to persuade the others of going to rescue his, soon to be devoured, carcass but they all thought that he brought it on himself so we shouldn't go rescue him, plus this is Sigil, as far as we knew, these undead might have been Epics. I take a good look at my Half-Giant and say: "Screw you guys! I'm going after him!" I went and traced the undead compound and barged in, breaking doors, walls, kicking ass and taking names. I eventually reach a chamber with a surgical table where poor unintelligent fighter laid dead. The pack of undead consisted entirely of fighters, 4 of level 20 and 4 of level 16, it seems however that when the undead dine, they also carry +5 greatswords, for when that simple knife just won't cut it. The DM did cut me a deal though, he would allow critical hits if they were on both sides because undead are immune to critical hits and I was 2 sizes larger than the undead, so they would be unable to crit me. As a Half-Giant barbarian with 30+ Constitution, I rolled for HP (1d12+Con Modifier) x2, so at my level, my HP were nearing 400. This would be a long battle. To make a long story short, I kill everyone except the 2 16 lever fighters, leaving on of the two basically crippled and the other one at a little over half HP. Then the rest of the party decides to come in and help and they all died except for the thief. It was the last time I tried to save anyone, ever.

Oh wow! Mike is Victor Delacroix from Chaos Legion! I loved that game back in the day! I'm pretty sure that Jim Cummings was in Warhammer Battle March ... but if it's not listen on IMDB then I am most probably wrong about it. If you can have romance with Uli Booi, I am SO there!

I guess she wasn't the only one, since you went out with her in the first place. Rub some more salt on THAT wound, why dontcha? Ouch! I was introduced to her and all I could think of was "You're perdy! Durrr!" when I met her. Staying in the barracks for 6 months and sharing a room with 40 other guys helps you overlook small shortcomings like personality or lack of thereof. Excuse me for being sexually starved after 6 months of inactivity.

Trust me, all you needed to hear was a phone conversation to understand what I had to put up with. The woman lacked any hint of common sense. I almost regret meeting her in the first place. Thanks, it's just that I've spent most of my life labeled as "the good guy", some people tend to confuse tolerance and patience with stupidity, though my tolerance sometimes is borderline stupid. Thing is I'm not used to saying no to girls, especially without giving it a shot first, but the last shot I gave her nearly drove me insane with what I went through. She used to be involved with all the wrong types of people and I had to clean up lots of her misdeeds for her while we were together and, especially when I saw home 2 times a week while serving the motherland, there was nothing better like being called up, just as I reached the outside of my front door, to go bang my head against a brick wall of a man just because "he called me ____________" . And that's just the mildly irritating things about her. There really was no way I was going back to her, I was just wondering if I could / should have helped her, again, in some way, just felt a little guilty is all.

I got a call the other day by my ex, yes qt3, the aforementioned I was with in the army. After we broke up we were still in friendly terms for quite a while, mostly because I have a lot of patience, and I gave her advice on a lot of stuff, even to go for that guy who gave her a love confession, which, although corny, was a very romantic gesture. Anyway, apparently she is still with that guy but although she used to be madly in love with him, she was feeling less and less enamored to him everyday since an incident where they made a scene in a club because she showed up dressed like a two bit you-know-what. Frankly, I have no quarrel with two bit you-know-whats and I am sure that, for their line of work, their fashion sense is impeccable, but no man wants to see his girl dressed like one of them because you don't want other men mixing up her line of work and have one of them take her home while you are drooling, half drunk half asleep, lying on the bar and barfing jin and tonic through the nostrils ... wait, where was I? To get to the point, she was calling to say how she missed me and how wise and smart and experienced I was, how well I treated her and blah blah blah blah. So I think that her main point was to sweet talk me into getting back with her because I put up with a whole lot more from her than her current boyfriend does and because I always tried persuading her by using common sense instead of shouting when I thought she was doing something wrong. In the end, I bid her good luck and sent her on her way. Was I cruel in anyway?

John Coltrane - In a sentimental mood Carmen McRae everything she's ever done, her voice is ambrosia. Metallica - Orion John Williams - A New Hope (star wars fanboy) Mozart anything and everything Chopin same as Mozart Johnny Cash - Folsom Prison Blues lots of other stuff, most already mentioned by others before me.

Oh God! That was my reaction reading about this guy. Did he really expect that after killing a police officer in he presence of 2 others they would just leave him alone? This man ... Oh my God! Years after the initial Odysseas, the same guy decided to give D&D a second try, this time in the 3rd edition rules. We had already started a campaign and since leveling in 3rd edition isn't all that hard, we were 10+ level, so we had Odysseas start at 10+ level. Our quest involved going through this tropical forest where a Great Green Dragon lived and we'd have to kill it. So we were hiding in the forest and we watched the Dragon fly high above our heads every now and then, where the foliage allowed us to and we wanted to wait until he would return to his cave and fight him there. Well ... Odysseas had a different idea. - I go ahead of the others. - OK, you move forward at a little faster pace and slowly but steadily distance yourself from them. - Is there a clearing up ahead? - Uh ... sure, why not! The other party members, having played with him before, were all getting a little uneasy and rightly so. I saw something bad coming too and I was starting to see it. - Is the clearing big? - It's ... pretty big. - OK, I start shouting. - Shouting for what? - The Dragon of course! - I don't think that's such a good idea, the others are pretty far away. - Oh, come on! I'm a level 1X fighter! I can take him on. - OK, you guys hear him shouting too, what do you do? - I think we'll let him handle it. - OK, uh, well, after a while the dragon appears at about 100 feet over your head and lets himself drop down on you, what do you do? - I wait for him to get down. - You see a 7 ton Dragon drop on you and you wait it out ... - Yeah. He really saw nothing wrong in that sentence. - OK, well the dragon lands on you, crushing you with the force of his fall and the sheer weight of his, I think it 's safe to proclaim you dead. - What? Oh, I swear to God you hate me! Next time, I get to kick some ass and we almost die because the rest of the party is useless.

heh.. In these situations I always turn to Douglas Adams. I don't know ... this image makes me worried. I am generally against big red buttons, no matter what they have printed on them, they are so ... panicky! I also forgot to bring a towel along ...

That's exactly my point! It's not a game liked, it's not a game I enjoyed, it would just sit there on my shelf, looking at me, reminding me of my failure and that would turn me emo. Considering that my salary is near 700 euros and the game cost 70 euros I would have bought a game that cost 10% of my salary and I FORCED myself to play for 10 hours. It felt empty, repetitive and void of feeling. It just wasn't my type. On the other hand, I bought NWN2, MotB, Fallout 1 & 2 AND Tactics, Planescape Torment, games actually worth my money, regardless of cost. I own Heroes of Might and Magic 2,3 and 5 along with all the expansions and I am truly sorry that I don't have the original Disciples 2 Gold edition because it can't be found in Greece a.k.a. it isn't licensed, therefore I can download it through the internet. You don't have to be offended because I didn't like Oblivion, just like Halo 3 fans shouldn't be offended when I say I think MGS4 is a better game for me, it's MY taste. That's a cool Dr. Manhattan btw.

I always buy the games from the companies I like. Companies like Ubisoft, Black Isle, OBSIDIAN, but game companies I don't like usually don't make games I like. I might dl a game to test it and if I like it, worth the 60 euros it costs in Greece, I will buy it, otherwise, I won't bother with it, it's like renting it for a day at the video store. I couldn't even stomach Oblivion for more than maybe 10 hours, and it was on sale for 70 euros here, equivalent to about 90-100$, why waste that much money on a game I played for 10 hours? SecuROM is a real test of faith and, frankly, really spoils it for me. I might have gone off to buy Red Alert 3 if it didn't have it but now, definitely not.

Another time, another place, me and a few friends were playing Dragonlance but due to events we were planeshifted to Ravenloft. Upon arrival we were ambushed by vampires and most of us got hurt pretty badly, but we survived, mostly because Dalamar had come with us in this quest. So we started out in search of a settlement that we could rest and recuperate, eventually finding a small fortified town, but the guards wouldn't let us in because they thought we were vampires so we had to prove them otherwise. - Listen man, do we look like vampires? - Maybe, I can't be sure, I can't let you in. - Wait, what do you know about vampires? - Well, they're supposed to be really pretty and such. - And what about us? - You guys are pretty fugly! - Hey, screw you, buddy! I don't see the ladies lining up for you either! So they let us in ><

Yeah, you and me both, buddy. Such a let down.

CP, what are you talking about? You've enjoyed your time with her (your words not mine) and instead of being happy for having the memories you're gonna rest there and cry it all out? You've had a better chance at happiness than most people, just because she won't be a part of it doesn't mean life has ended. Just like she moved on, so should you and if she is as bad as you say, finding a better one won't be that hard. Life is a string of memories, memories of friends and family and loved ones and places, don't let one bad memory foreshadow the happiness within your time together. In my life I've had a few women, some I was madly in love with and some hurt me deeply. Usually for a few days after that I wasn't in the best of moods, but I can't say I would do things differently or that I hate them for what they were, I remember the good times and the things we did together and that's how I like to remember them and everyone else. Maybe I never had what you and her had, so I may not have been hurt as bad as you but will you let a breakup bring you down? Now if you'll excuse me, Oprah is starting

Last time we talked about how Odysseas met 2 gruesome deaths and how he was resurrected from them, now we will see how he fared in front of the Elf King. We arrived at the glorious Tree-Palace of the Elven king and presented the Drow priestess to the guards, thus requesting an audience with the King himself. Shortly afterwards a Steward took us to see him. Presenting the Drow plot to the King, he took heed of our words and decided to trial the Drow of treason and possibly hanging her. Odysseas argued that we couldn't let her die, an opinion the party shared but were not as quick to act as he was. - Your Heinous listen to me! - Heinous? - Yeah. - You mean Highness, right? - Yeah, that! /massfacepalm - OK, the King seems repulsed and everyone else in the room is shocked at your statement, correcting it to Highness from Heinous doesn't help that much. The Steward seems really agitated. "How dare you mock our King! How dare you address Him without permission, how dare you look at Him like some common man!" - OK, now we're all gonna die, I pull out my sword and hit Odysseas at the back of his head with the hilt to knock him out. - Roll the dice ... *rolls a 15* - You hit him but the damage is insufficient to knock him out. - Why did you do that for? - Shut up! You're gonna kill us all! - Your highness, please listen to me! Do not kill the Drow! She's hot and I love her! - Wait ... let me get this straight, you asked the Elven King not to kill the Drow, a priestess of Llolth, on the basis that she is ... hot? - Well, I said I love her! - OK, you have just elevated the Elven King to a whole new level of anger, he is seething! "Throw these two in the dungeon! I will decide their fate later, but for now I must attend other matters. The rest of you, leave us!" - Wait a minute, me too? - Dude, you pulled your sword during an audience with the King! That's sacrilege! - Well, I had to do something! - True, you did save the rest of the party, maybe the others can negotiate a release for you two if they play it out right. So the party did manage to strike a deal, the two imprisoned members would go monster hunting while the rest of the party would work as scouts in a mission to the Drow city. All looked well and it seemed that Odysseas would actually make it through a session without dying! But ... The deal was that the two prisoners would have to kill 10 beasties each and come back with their heads as proof ... guess who did not make it past the first one. All they had to do was kill 10 wild boars. This is how it was played out. - You see a wild boar sleeping near a tree trunk, what do you do? - I attack it! - Wow, wait! Why not go for a coup de grace? - A coup de what? - When your target is asleep you can attack it and kill it in one stroke. - Oh, cool! I do that! - OK, remove your armor first. It'll wake up if you don't. - Right, I do that first then. - So, you manage to creep up next to your sleeping target. It is immobile and all you have to do is hit it. Roll a d20. *rolls a 1* - You have got to be ... anyway, you miss and your sword is plunged in the ground, the wild boar wakes up. - Oh $#1t! I run away! - No you ... mph! OK, you run away and the boar charges you, *rolls a 19* well, that's a critical alright. So, the wild boar headbutts you and send you flying on the ground, you take 18 points of damage. - 18! That's half my HP! - So, you spend the next round to get up and the wild boar tramples you for ... another 18. - Oh, come one! I'm dead! This is so unfair! - Uh, no, actually the first attack was supposed to be triple damage, so you would have gotten 27 points of damage and another 18 from the trample would have sent you to - 11 HP, now you are at -2, if someone is looking for you he might ... *the rest of the party shake their heads* - No? Anyone? Uh, OK, so mama boar takes you home to feed baby boars. The End! Anyway, after the party, minus dead, boar eaten Odysseas, eliminated the Drow threat, rescued the somewhat friendly Drow priestess and Resurrected Odysseas once more, they decided to leave the Elven lands while they were still in relatively good terms with the Elven King and his people, so they took a boat to the mainland. During their trip, they were attacked by a giant squid and all was going well until Odysseas, naturally, botched an attack roll, sending his +0 Greatsword into the sea. Nobody really cared until he decided to go look for it. - I dive in to find my sword. - Can't you just grab a weapon from the dead sailors already? - Dude! It's my sword! - OK ... do you have swimming as a proficiency? - No ... but I can float! Anybody can float! - But you're not gonna remove your plate mail before you dive in, are you? - There's a MONSTER in the water! What am I gonna do if it tries to hit me? - Yeah, makes sense ... Anybody wanna go with him? Give him a hand? Save him? - Well, I could cast water breathing on me, but I never memorize that spell, it's useless. - OK, Odysseas, give me your Character Sheet. - Why? What's wrong? *hands it over* - Oh, nothing ... *hsssssss*

Last time, Odysseas had died rather grotesquely, even by his standards, and the rest of the party had fled the underdark to avoid any association with him. Now they wanted to go back and rescue him. Well, they were a little late for that! Odysseas' body had been dumped far from the temple and a few rats had made a nest out of the carcass, so we just cut one of his fingers off and decided we would use Resurrection this time. In an effort to find evidence to support our claim of the imminent Drow attack, the party stumbled upon a sleeping drow priestess, not of immense power, but for convenience's shake, she could cast Resurrection. Odysseas was once again alive, for what good that would do to him. On our way out of the Drow temple we were surprised to see that half the city was alert of our presence and when we reached the door, the Drow started pouring in. So we fell back and tried to find another way out, which we did. The temple had a secret door that lead to one of the tunnels towards the surface, it was daytime outside so the Drow wouldn't follow. The secret door was in fact a rotating wall and Odysseas argued that it should be left open, because you don't really wanna inconvenience a Drow army at your back with little things like searching for the switch. - I try to keep the rotating wall open. - Uh, why? - It's gonna lock us in! - Ok ... roll a strength check, I guess ... *rolls a natural 1* - Oh, wow! Well, as the door closes you get crashed between the two wall segments. - Crashed? - Yeah, when you critically failed your strength check the door came in too strong for you and crashed your abdomen. You will be dead in a round or two. - I didn't know that! - Ah, the Drow are catching up on you and are shooting arrows over Odysseas' carcass, what do you do? - We pull Odysseas' corpse in so the door will close. - Ok, but the Drow aren't just gonna let you do that, they start pulling back, so you have to roll a strength check against the wall's pressure AND the drow pulling him on the other side. - OK. *rolls are tied* - Well, you guys make a pretty good effort but with the Drow pulling from the other side, Odysseas doesn't budge. - We go at it again. *rolls again tied* - Same thing. - We try again. - By now, Odysseas' body is starting to rip open due to the crushing wall and you pulling on each side. If you tie again, Odysseas will be ripped in two. - Really? We just HAVE to see this! *rolls tied again* - Ah, ok, so which half do you guys want again? So with just half of Odysseas with us, we make a run for the surface and once we are safe, we make the Drow priestess Resurrect Odysseas again. - Dude! Is she hot? - What are you talking about? - The Drow chick! Is she hot? - Uh, I dunno, lemme see ... *rolls 3d6 for a perfect 18* - Yeah, she's hot. - I wink at her. - She seems uninterested and does not fall for your winks. - I grab her ass. - You ... you do ...wait, what? - I wanna see if she likes me, she Resurrected me twice! /massfacepalm - Ok ... well, after that, the Drow starts cussing in her own language, which none of you speak, but can clearly tell by her tone that she isn't talking about a recipe making cookies. She seems very agitated. - Listen, we are very sorry about our friend, as you might have figured out he isn't the brightest man alive, so do what you want, just raise him again afterwards. - Ok, she's preparing to cast Flame Strike on Odysseas. - What, Flame Strike? - Yeah, it's a 5th level spell. - I didn't know she could cast that! - She just cast Resurrection, a 7th level spell, at you. Twice! Why wouldn't she be able to cast Flame Strike? - Oh ... - Roll save vs spell ... *rolls a 1* - You just ... you can't ... roll again! *rolls a 3* - Again! *rolls a 1* - Ok, you not only fail to jump out of the spell's way, but you jump into it! You are incinerated for 70+ damage. Guys, she is out of Resurrection spells. - ... OK, we rest here until she memorizes another Resurrection Spell, then we take her to the Elven King. - Someone gather Odysseas' remains. Next time, Odysseas offends the Elven King.

So, by now, Odysseas dying was starting to get "old news" followed by /facepalm. So, contrary to our better judgment we raised him, again, but first made sure he would rest before doing something else, like provoking another killing blow. The rest of the party looked into local concerns and found out that there had been some inexplicable Drow sightings in the area and we decided to look into it more. After days of search, the part found a small number of tunnels leading all the way down to the underdark. With Odysseas rested and at full HP we decided to check into the Draow city that lurked below. We disguised ourselves to resemble Drow as convincingly as possible and went down, just in time to hear the speech of the High Priestess of Llolth and her plan to slay all of the surface dwelling elves. Then Odysseas decided to step up. - But I will not stand for that! - Ok, as you say that, the whole city turns towards you guys. - What? Why? - You just openly shouted that you intend to thwart the High Priestess' plan! - Well, I didn't shout it! - You mean you just whispered:"But I will not stand for that"? - Yes! That's exactly it! - Riiiiiight. Sorry, it didn't happen. - What? Oh, come on! As if I am THAT stupid! So the rest of the party managed to flee while Odysseas was captured, brought to the Priestess and had his heart ripped from his chest ( I had seen Indiana Jones the previous day :D ) which was later fed to one of her pets. Next time Odysseas gets Resurrection! Thrice!

Oh, I was just getting warmed up, the rest of the party were doing just fine as they seemed to possess a legendary artifact called "common sense". Anyway, after that, the Knighthood had to fight off the Death Knight and his Skeleton Warrior Army, but not after they had destroyed half the kingdom, so the party decided that it might be a bad idea to stick around here, so we moved to the Elven Lands. Once there, Odysseas decided that it would be a good idea to visit the weaponsmith. What the heck, it couldn't go wrong this time, right? Well ... I made it clear that the weaponsmith is a retired adventurer, pretty much like the guy that killed Odysseas earlier on and that it would be unwise to anger him. Odysseas still wanted the rogue to steal a sword or two. In the end he promised the rogue that should anything go wrong, the weaponsmith would first have to go over his dead body, not a very hard task if you ask me. So the rogue indeed tries to steal the sword and, being a 4-5th level thief, fails at it and the weaponsmith catches them. When the weaponsmith tells them to put it back, Odysseas shouts at him "OVER MY DEAD BODY!" and the weaponsmith says "Suit yourself!" and promptly decapitates him. The thief smiled, said "It was his idea!" and returned the sword.

The overheating gauge is perfectly valid, guns will jam when they overheat and won't shoot, with a high risk of the damn thing exploding in your hand even, which is why guns require frequent maintenance. It's as valid as reloading your gun. About the infinite ammo part, sure the ammo of a handgun should be more frequent than those of a rocket launcher or a sniper rifle, but how many times in each mission will you get to use them? In a cramped hallway you won't start snipping at the guy 3' across from you, if I need to shoot someone with a sniper rifle or destroy a plated door with a rocket launcher, I should have enough ammo to do my job, but being lame at it will obviously alert others, therefore Mission Failed. You can do lots of modifications to guns, such as larger clips, silencers, packing a bigger punch etc. but if you really wanna play the game stealthily, you probably won't be able to shoot 233.434 bullets without SOMEONE noticing, or you can go about it Serious Sam style and add to the body count, in which case you don't really care for reloading time. Granted it's not the most realistic idea, but it will hardly make or break THIS game. That's what I think anyway.

Dear God! No unfortunately he didn't learn his lesson, he just went on dying in the most improbable of ways. He has been pierced, imploded, burnt, exploded, drowned, chocked, disintegrated, ripped in half ... you name it! Therefore I will give you another story of his! Last time we talked about how our "leader" unleashed hell on earth by breaking the seal that held a score of Skeleton Warriors and a Death Knight out in the world, now we'll talk consequences. After dying 10' away from the keep's entrance, the rest of the party had no way of knowing where to find him and when he didn't show up at the designated meeting point, the rest of group decided to search for him. With the help of a really good hound dog his body was eventually recovered. So we took him to the temple and used Raise Dead on him to revive him at 1hp. Telling the group what he had just done we decided we would need help against the Death Knight and his Skeleton Warrior Army. So we went to see this old retired adventurer for advice and all was going great until our "leader" noticed a greatsword mounted on the wall, clearly for exhibition, not practical use. However, in his eyes it seemed like a Holy Avenger +5 and naturally he had to have it. There was a 1 minute argument that didn't persuade him otherwise. - Dude! That sword is magical! - No it's not! If it were magical it wouldn't be mounted on a wall, it would be kept somewhere safe! - But it's beautiful! It has to be magical! Come on, help me steal it! - We can't steal it. He's a retired adventurer, he's bound to see us! - He's just an old man ... come on! - No, I'm not doing this! - Fine, just cast invisibility on me. - What? - Cast invisibility on me so I can steal it. - You do realize that once you pull it out, you will become visible again, right? - Yes ... - OK, fine I cast invisibility on you and my mage goes to sit on the side, I just have to see this! So he did get the sword off the wall and he did become visible and he did get impaled for 31 points of damage. - Oh, cool! I have 34 HP! - Um, no, you have 1 HP. - What? How? Why? - We used Raise Dead on you, not Resurrection, we didn't have the money. - So? - Raise Dead sends you to 1 HP and drains a Con point, you're lucky I didn't enforce the Con drain, but you're still at 1 HP. - I didn't know that! I wouldn't have done it if I had known that! - Yes, but you did know that and you did do that. You're dead. Again. So we were threatened to by the retired adventurer and forced to leave so as not to share our "leader's" fate. So we raised him again and he went off to a mageware shop to steal some scrolls, we promptly found him dead and naked in a puddle of mudwater with signs of electric discharge on his body. So we raised him again because his deaths were so creative they were too funny to pass out on. Tune in next time to see Odysseas get decapitated, drowned, incinerated, ripped in half and had his heart ripped from his torso, not necessarily in that order! And we're not even half way there!

I'm sure you've all come across a player that always managed to fumble or make the wrong choices which resulted in a most hilarious disaster. This is the thread for it! Well, there was another one but it got locked so ... Anyway, I have a few stories concerning a certain individual that traveled with us .... uh, more like we carried his stiff carcass with us, for a while. It was a custom setting resembling much the Forgotten Realms and Dragonlance settings, way back in good old 2nd Edition. Having finished our first major quest and reaching lvl 3 ( yay!) I decided to let the party to some R & R. Most went to inns, temples etc. Except our "leader" , and by leader I mean he paid us 1.000 gp to call him "leader" , decided he wanted to go farming for mobs, I know, I was getting a very bad feeling about it already but I let it go. Arguing that we were in the Capital of a Kingdom with a powerful Knighthood that left little farming, if any at all, lest some side quests. However, that wouldn't do for Odysseas, my friend. Following would be my greatest and gravest mistake. He asked if there were any legends about the area. I had created, for a quest later on, a haunted keep, occupied by a Death Knight. Hm, Knighthood, Haunted Keep, Death Knight ... this doesn't resemble Dragonlance in the slightest. Anyway, our "leader" decided that he could take them all on singlehandedly and left without informing any one of us. Upon his arrival at the castle he ignored the magical seal that prevented the undead from exiting the keep but was useless against living creatures. So he entered the keep shouting at the inhabitants to apply suction to a certain part of his body. Needless to say the Death Knight wasn't too happy about it and prepared to attack him. I will now post the dialogue as best as I recall it. - A Death Knight? You never said anything about a Death Knight! - Uh, yes I did. When I said the keep is haunted by A DEATH KNIGHT! - Oh ... well, I wouldn't have gone if I knew that! - Yes, but you did know and you did go. - Ok, I run away then. - You run away ... well, uh, since you broke the seal and opened the door, the Death Knight summons his Nightmare steed. - What Nightmare steed? - The one all Death Knights summon. - No, they don't! Let me see that! *looks at the Monster Manual* Oh ... well I got a head start! - Ok, the Death Knight climbs on the Nightmare and charges at you, he gets a free attack since all you do in your round is flee and he *rolls a natural 20* ah, wow! Charge and a critical, you get triple damage! *rolls damage* You take 48 points of damage. - But I only have 34hp! - Yup!