I've consumed a vast quantity of an alcoholic beverage.
I'm experiencing an odd sense of lightness, my speech is slurring, and I've got a strange desire to make sweet yet animalistic love to the next female I see, which will surely end in a premature climax on my part and a major disappointment for said female.
Also, there's a cactus with a bulls eye on it for me to hit at this current moment, I bid you all adieux.
No really, fully drunk. I'm gone, completely. It's a wonder that I'm even capable of typing this. Prove I'm not. Go on....prove it.
Edit: Go on. Prove it.