Darth InSidious

The powerful villain and his guards should also all look like the guards in Prince of Persia 1: The hero is also saved from being slaughtered with his entire village at the last minute by a mysterious bardette who only joins the party early in Act II (if there's 3 acts. Act III if there's five), called Cheery Topping, who sings in rhyming couplets, forcing the guards to dance in circles. She's an old enemy of the Moderate Bad who attacks the hero's village, and her presence annoys him immensely. Or is that too absurd? More Utter Genius. Cheery Topping is definitely in, as is bowl world and sticky things. All of the evil sultan's guards will look like their uniforms were designed by Liberace. All of the evil baron's guards will look like their uniforms were designed by Marilyn Manson. Many thanks for the kind words about my Narcoleptic Lich, he is seeking the power of the widget so he can combine it with sticky stuff and create a potent Gatorade / Red Bull type brew that will keep him awake long enough to CONQUER BOWL WORLD. He also wants Cheery Topping's mortal essence, Cheery is in fact a fallen Warrior Maiden of Laaaa. Hot cleric chick distrusts her, not least because she looks fantastic in leather armour. Farm boy will be taken under dark elven psycho-warrior's tutelage and learn the Ways of Sword, Spear and Bow. The corsairs of Odge will do battle with the wandering gypsy folk, Farm Boy will make a faltering but heart-warming speech on the eve of battle.. We still need a dragon and a demon to make this work, but generally this stiff is red hot. It's so bad that I'm wondering if it could make a half decent Forgotten Realms supplement. Her class should be a l.8 Choral Bard who multiclassed Prestidigitator. There should be a race of desperately short "humourous" characters; they live in the cities, and all of their ghastly vidya-gaem-humourousness is a facade to hide their true role as the mafia/black market/gangs across the world. Sort of a cross between the Shadow Thieves of Amn, the Godfather and Grobnar. The central spire of the world is absurdly tall and thin, and supports Discus, the City of Falls, which is so named for the habit of its inhabitants of falling off the edge. It is inhabited almost entirely by people who would describe themselves as "philosophical", and who wonder around all day with a vague expression. Discus is also known as Cloud-Bloody-Cuckoo-Land, and is ruled over by Her Fury, the Permanently Disgruntled Lady, who has a head-dress made entirely of rolling-pins, and wears a large, floral apron. She was married to Vagus, God of Improbably Delicate Mechanical Things, but she got fed up and threw him off the edge, too. As a punishment, Yam trapped her in Discus, and forced her to manage it as a punishment. How the city manages to balance on the top of the Great Central Mountain, no-one knows, because no-one who might find out stays longer than is absolutely necessary, and anyone who's there for more than five minutes learns to block out Her Fury's incessant raving about the amount of things she has to do and how useless men are and... She punishes anyone who disturbs the peace or gets in her way in one of two ways: by either pushing them off the edge, or by making them clean the bird crap off the underside. No-one knows how the birds manage to crap on the underside, but they do seem to take a perverse pride in annoying the PDL. Most inhabitants of Discus therefore, inasmuch as they have any forethought, tend to put it into not mentioning the Lady, and avoiding having her shadow. Also, we are turning this into a module... right?

Lulz. That's going in my sig.

I say he needs some sedatives. He'd need a brain for them to sedate first.

A new Bioware masterpiece. A rank amature couldn't have done better. The first few battles were really tough, then it becomes a cakewalk. I'd just order my party into cover ahead of me, and cover them. Wrex and Liara worked best, but then I couldn't open any lockers. There isn't much worth looting, anyway.

Just wait until you get to the repetitive "minigames", inventory full of useless crap and the longest elevator rides in the history of elevators. (Unless you already got to them...) And the Mako. Don't forget the Mako. Or the same sidequest copypasta'd eighteen-hundred times. What class are you playing as, bhlaab?

You mean Jay Watamaniuk? Serious Watamaniuk is serious. Possibly, although if it is, he signed a whole load of the K1 source scripts as "Preston" for no apparent reason...

And Karpyshyn. And Preston Watamaniuk, who wins the awesome name competition.

Would it be in terribly bad taste for me to say "so were they"?

Is American politics always this dull?

There is only one political cartoonist. I rest my casee.

No arguments here.

He also wrote HK-47, which was his Teaching Mrs. Tingle/other appalling Hollywood film that was nevertheless appallingly successful.

They're both egocentric and stupid.

The powerful villain and his guards should also all look like the guards in Prince of Persia 1: The hero is also saved from being slaughtered with his entire village at the last minute by a mysterious bardette who only joins the party early in Act II (if there's 3 acts. Act III if there's five), called Cheery Topping, who sings in rhyming couplets, forcing the guards to dance in circles. She's an old enemy of the Moderate Bad who attacks the hero's village, and her presence annoys him immensely. Or is that too absurd?

An excellent suggestion. There should also be a large desert with a giant red mountain in the middle, inhabited by a strange species of desert-nymph, who entrap people to come and rest under it, only to terrify them away again with tiny amounts of dust. And then shoot them for sport.

Maybe I'm just the teeniest bit biased, but I think this describes my problems with Dan Hack pretty well. I'm just slightly shocked how many people take this sub-airport novel crap seriously, either as good writing, or as actually in any way accurate. I suppose that's modern education, etc. Insert rant here.

In fire. [insert squeaky noises here]

Porting content from KotOR into KotOR II is forbidden, I'm afraid. Also, the effect of looking like Bastila can be more easily achieved by using The KotOR Savegame Editor.

Oh, ramza...

I really want to make a pun on Rihanna/Rohan, but I can't think of any.

Earlier in the week I got sizeable chunks of Logan's Run and Minority Report on the same day, and on terrestrial TV. Michael York's hamming is a wonder to behold.

No, it's not everything; but given how many missions require large driving portions, it is a significant annoyance.

explain? The Mako drives appallingly in most conditions; for Ilos it's made to drive over running water, which apparently has the effect of making what would normally be slight adjustments in direction make the whole vehicle turn 180 degrees. To add insult to incompetence, you are then given 36 seconds to reach a certain point on the planet, driving through four particularly hardy enemies. Naturally, the game does not auto-save before it dumps you into this, so when I ended up with the Mako crawling the walls, my reload took me about half a mile back. If that doesn't sound like much, on Ilos, half a metre seems to take an age.

Bioware decided to make TOR. So no, it isn't. Ba dum tish. Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all year. Probably.

What's left is a twisted mockery, making soulless games, desperately wanting to end the torment, but being kept alive by the evil magicks of EA. So the difference is that now they want to die?