As time has progressed I find myself more and more "not caring" which is probably a good thing.
At the same time, I also find myself not caring about lying on her behalf anymore...which is a bit unsettling. That is, when people ask why she and I don't hang out anymore, I am more inclined to be honest about why.
At this stage it seems as though any chance of salvaging a friendship seems pretty impossible. She has mentioned she'd like to be "friends" in that when we are able to hang out as part of large groups. Though at the last party my group of friends went to she seemed particularly cold towards me. She's gotten colder and less responsive as time goes on, which is probably good as it means she's moving on.
I don't get the impression she's interested in being friends, which makes my decision significantly easier as there's no longer a choice.
However, I have issues with remaining discrete, because I feel as though every time I lie I do it "for her." I don't care what people think about me, and of the few people that do know no one seems to judge me. I must still "care" for her a little bit as this idea of "not caring" seems a bit worrisome.
Should I just say **** it and do whatever I want to do?