Self-sabotage

[Walsingham]

Leading on from the discussion in WoT I wondered how many of us here are self-sabotagers? That is do you feel you occasionally deliberately do things which you know will undermine your own efforts to succeed?

 

Examples would be leaving work until the last minute, going drinking before an exam, failing to do enough basic reading... and so on.

 

The theory is that self-handicapping exists to protect the ego. The idea being that if you fail because of a simple 'error' then you can still be a genius, while if you did everything process right and failed then the only option is to be a cretin.

[Oner]

I do.

[alanschu]

Yup.

 

Was really bad in school. And getting motivated to find work immediately after school was a bit difficult too actually. I think just enjoyed the time NOT slaving away haha.

[theslug]

First one but deep down I know I'm not clever.

[Enoch]

As covered in the other thread, this is me to a tee. In school, I would habitually leave papers to write the night before the deadline, briefly skim reading assignments and still jump headfirst into the in-class discussions, etc. But I don't think I let it get out of hand. Even when I left major papers to write in one night, I had always at least gathered the sources I would need in advance, and on the whole, I always ended up doing well enough for my purposes-- I was a pretty consistent B+/A- student. I do think that the humility-inducing terrible job I held for 18 months after getting my BA was a motivating factor in overcoming some of this. I was more responsible in law school.

 

Now in the professional world, I am still very much a deadline-junky. But the work is usually less half-assed now than it was back then, simply because the standard for performance is higher, and there is (I think) a degree of failure that I won't let myself fall to.

 

I have long since figured out that ego was a major factor behind my procrastination and occasional half-assedness. I don't want to pour my heart and soul into something because that opens the possibility of being judged as a failure. (The same thing makes me terrible at picking up chicks. Luckily, I found one who was willing to hit on me and married her to avoid this problem in the future. )

Edited October 22, 2009 by Enoch

[Hurlshort]

I don't entirely get the poll. Yeah, I'm a procrastinator, but like Enoch I almost always find a way to be successful in the end. Could I do better if I was less lazy? Probably, but I also would probably be more stressed out.

 

The bigger concern is whether I can turn it on when needed, and sometimes I worry that I can't, but then when I'm up against the clock I usually manage to impress myself.

[Rosbjerg]

Who doesn't sabotage themselves from time to time?

 

I'm a pretty bad case myself, I've flunked classes simply because I decided I could use my time better at home than in school and ended up having to do a whole year of highschool over because of it.. I'm even forced to retake some classes now (6 years later), because of my halfassed work back then, to get into university next year..

[Guard Dog]

Lets see... In my life and career I have:

 

Run for public office - Fail

Got married - Fail

Started two businesses - Double fail

Went broke - Major fail

Graduated College - Ok I did get that one done but there were times it could have gone either way

Landed a high paying job with a major company - Fail

 

 

Either I'm screwing myself up left and right or I just have really, really bad luck. In light of that track record I think you should all kneel in my presence... for I am the King of SH!

[Walsingham]

Lets see... In my life and career I have:

 

Run for public office - Fail

Got married - Fail

Started two businesses - Double fail

Went broke - Major fail

Graduated College - Ok I did get that one done but there were times it could have gone either way

Landed a high paying job with a major company - Fail

 

 

Either I'm screwing myself up left and right or I just have really, really bad luck. In light of that track record I think you should all kneel in my presence... for I am the King of SH!

 

Nah. Sounds like you're just rubbish, mate.

 

SH doesn't necessarily mean failure. I recognised a lot of what Enoch was saying. I guess in some ways SH behaviour is even better ego fodder if you manage to succeed despite the handicap. In fact that could be why we do it so much. Case in point, due to an injury I play pool one-handed (I used to fence, so I use the same pose). If I lose no-one crows about it, and if I win the other guy is massively humiliated. Plus over the years I've got pretty good.

 

I'm not sure whether doing things at the last minute is really SH. It could be simply that I need things to be exciting to get my brain fired up. It could be that while I may not think I'm working in the buildup period I am actually chewing it over at a preconscious level. What do you chaps think?

 

It's quite odd, but as I predicted, that we have so many SHers.

[Humodour]

I do and I reckon I'm clever. And stupid at the same time.

 

I've done pretty well in life so far so I have no major complaints. I've messed up two university degrees now but I'm still on $50,000 a year in relaxed job I enjoy doing with excellent advancement prospects. I've got decent friends, good family, and I have no stress.

 

And I can probably salvage my second degree if I halve my work-load, do only maths subjects for a while, and get a string of high distinctions in a row. And don't drink when assignments are due. The worst thing about my uni degrees is I do poorly because I'm just plain lazy, yet I often help my top classmates with their assignments. It's self-sabotage to an extreme level.

 

If I don't complete this degree, I don't care too much. I'll save up ****loads then travel the world a bit (South America is in mind) and then whatever.

[Kaftan Barlast]

I am a horrible procrastinator and completely aware of it, so id go for "unclever SH". Im actually procrastinating writing a job application as I type this.

[Walsingham]

It's funny you mention helping others, Krez. I reckon that's the best measure of whether one is SHing. Even knowing all i do I still flap about but put me on someone else's behalf and I'm a ****ing engine. Focus, plan, execute like the freaking terminator*.

 

I was thinking about this two nights ago. Whether as humans our best bet would be to do each other's jobs.

 

 

 

 

* Are you Sarah Connor?

No.

Damn. Well, I'm all out of ideas.

[Blarghagh]

I am a horrible procrastinator and completely aware of it, so id go for "unclever SH". Im actually procrastinating writing a job application as I type this.

 

I'd switch those to around. I'm a complete procrastinator and I'm horribly aware of it. Coupled with an amazingly high level of indecision, I'll be surprised if I ever amount to anything. Motivating myself is like finding water in the desert. I rely completely on random bouts of inspiration.

 

EDIT: Yes, working to help someone else is so easy. Sometimes I wonder if it's just a matter of me not wanting it to be my choice. I don't want to have to blame myself for my ****ty situation but if someone else tells me what to do it's their responsibility.

 

EDIT EDIT: Well would you look at that. Did I just have something of a personal epiphany?

Edited October 23, 2009 by TrueNeutral

[Humodour]

It's funny you mention helping others, Krez. I reckon that's the best measure of whether one is SHing. Even knowing all i do I still flap about but put me on someone else's behalf and I'm a ****ing engine. Focus, plan, execute like the freaking terminator*.

 

Exactly. Working for others gives me a strong emotional investment, and that always motivates me well.

 

I was thinking about this two nights ago. Whether as humans our best bet would be to do each other's jobs.

 

If we did that I would always get the job done on time, and I'd do it well. For example, at work, I'm the most responsible and hard-working person in the team, and my boss has said as much quite a few times.

 

*sigh*

[Gorgon]

Well it's obvious that you can keep coming up with excuses and rationalizations why you shouldn't do things, but when you are doing something that affects others, the bad excuses reveal themselves for what they are.

[Rosbjerg]

Motivating myself is like finding water in the desert. I rely completely on random bouts of inspiration.

 

Ironically it's rather easy to find water in the desert.. if you dig enough.

[Gfted1]

Sadly, all my self sabotaging years are behind me. I pretty much did everything Wals describes; drank all night then show up at work on 2 hours of sleep reaking of booze, do "just enough" to get the job done, etc... But thats the young man life and now Im all old and responsible and its sickening.

[Walsingham]

Sadly, all my self sabotaging years are behind me. I pretty much did everything Wals describes; drank all night then show up at work on 2 hours of sleep reaking of booze, do "just enough" to get the job done, etc... But thats the young man life and now Im all old and responsible and its sickening.

 

Working with a hangover isn't always bad. I've done some of my best work while hungover, by which I mean angry and short-sighted.