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Reason why Diablo 3 pissed me off. The REAL reason.


ktchong

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Let's look at the tradition in Diablo games.  Here are the names of all the classes in the original Diablo and its official-but-later-became-unofficial expansion:

 

Warrior.  ONE word.

Rogue. ONE word.

Sorcerer.  ONE word.

Monk. ONE word.

 

And the names of all the classes in Diablo 2 and the Lord of  Destruction expansion:

 

Amazon. ONE word.

Barbarian. ONE word.

Necromancer. ONE word.

Paladin. ONE word.

Sorceress. ONE word.

Assassin. ONE word.

Druid. ONE word.

 

Then, during the development of Diablo 3, the classes were announced as followed:

 

The first was a returning class, the Barbarian.

 

Then, the unthinkable happened...

 

Witch Doctor. 

 

WITCH. DOCTOR. 

 

TWO words.  TWO FREAKING WORDS.  That was so NOT Diablo.  It was an established TRADITION to use ONE word for class names in Diablo.  ONE word.   The Diablo 3 team totally disrespected the Diablo tradition.  That just made me so angry.

 

Then we got the Wizard. The Monk.

 

Then it happened again.

 

Demon Hunter.

 

There was it again!  DEMON. HUNTER. TWO words. Again!

 

That was when I decided: "Okay, that's it, I'm done with Diablo.  I will NEVER play another Diablo again."

 

True story.

 

Of course, the whole always-online for single-player thing was also a deal breaker.  But I am still really upset at the Witch Doctor and Demon Hunter.  'till this day, I still refuse to play Diablo 3.  Seriously, they totally disrespected tradition.

 

Is there anyone here who felt the same way?

Edited by ktchong
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No. I want even longer class titles, with more delicious words describing maniacs hell-bent on killing anything that moves:

 

My #1 wish:

Swashbuckler Dread Lord

 

Word inflation FTW!

Edited by IndiraLightfoot
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*** "The words of someone who feels ever more the ent among saplings when playing CRPGs" ***

 

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No. I want even longer class titles, with more delicious words describing maniacs hell-bent on killing anything that moves:

 

My #1 wish:

Swashbuckler Dread Lord

 

Word inflation FTW!

 

And in a few decades, this should culminate in elaborate titles reminiscent of those belonging to Exalted's Deathlords: "Boddhisattva Anointed by Dark Waters", "Princess Magnificent with Lips of Coral and Robes of Black Feathers", "Bishop of the Calcedony Thurible" etc.

 

I'd totally play a character class called Bishop of the Calcedony Thurible. 

"Lulz is not the highest aspiration of art and mankind, no matter what the Encyclopedia Dramatica says."

 

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Seriously.  Why is it even called "Witch DOCTOR"?  Does that class even have any medical skill?  And I hate people who call themselves "doctors" when they have never even been to a college or university.

Edited by ktchong
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Is there anyone here who felt the same way?

I suspect no, but the board may yet surprise me on this count.

 

Will admit I'm surprised Diablo 2 throwing in classes with more than three syllables didn't throw you for a loop.

I cannot - yet I must. How do you calculate that? At what point on the graph do "must" and "cannot" meet? Yet I must - but I cannot! ~ Ro-Man

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I agree with Indira. Hopefully future Diablo sequels will have names so elaborate you'll have to buy a bigger monitor. Or maybe two big monitors.

 

You can satisfy both groups.

 

Diablo IV classes:

  • Honorificabilitudinitatibus
  • Aequeosalinocalcalinoceraceoaluminosocupreovitriolic
  • Llanfair­pwllgwyn­gyllgo­gery­chwyrn­drobwll­llanty­silio­gogo­goch
  • Taumata­whakatangihanga­koauau­o­tamatea­turi­pukakapiki­maunga­horo­nuku­pokai­whenua­kitanatahu
  • Lopado­­temacho­­selacho­­galeo­­kranio­­leipsano­­drim­­hypo­­trimmato­­silphio­­parao­­melito­­katakechy­­meno­­kichl­­epi­­kossypho­­phatto­­perister­­alektryon­­opte­­kephallio­­kigklo­­peleio­­lagoio­­siraio­­baphe­­tragano­­pterygon

Expansion class - Wolfe­schlegelstein­hausenberger­dorffvoraltern­waren­gewissenhaft­schaferswessen­schafewaren­wohlgepflege­und­sorgfaltigkeit­beschutzen­von­angreifen­durch­ihrraubgierigfeinde­welche­voraltern­zwolftausend­jahres­vorandieerscheinen­wander­ersteer­dem­enschderraumschiff­gebrauchlicht­als­sein­ursprung­von­kraftgestart­sein­lange­fahrt­hinzwischen­sternartigraum­auf­der­suchenach­diestern­welche­gehabt­bewohnbar­planeten­kreise­drehen­sich­und­wohin­der­neurasse­von­verstandigmen­schlichkeit­konnte­fortplanzen­und­sicher­freuen­anlebens­langlich­freude­und­ruhe­mit­nicht­ein­furcht­vor­angreifen­von­anderer­intelligent­geschopfs­von­hinzwischen­sternartigraum

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I cannot - yet I must. How do you calculate that? At what point on the graph do "must" and "cannot" meet? Yet I must - but I cannot! ~ Ro-Man

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Seriously.  Why is it even called "Witch DOCTOR"?  Does that class even have any medical skill?  And I hate people who call themselves "doctors" when they have never even been to a college or university.

 

Witch Doctor is actually a Shaman, it just that western people love to define things based on western perspcetive. A Shaman also act as a doctor for indegenious peoples, they also a witch, so it becomes "Witch Doctor".

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Witch Doctor is actually a Shaman, it just that western people love to define things based on western perspcetive. A Shaman also act as a doctor for indegenious peoples, they also a witch, so it becomes "Witch Doctor".

 

 

Why couldn't Diablo 3 just call the class "Shaman"?

 

Shaman.  One word.  ONE word.

 

Witch Doctor my arse.

Edited by ktchong
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Witch Doctor is actually a Shaman, it just that western people love to define things based on western perspcetive. A Shaman also act as a doctor for indegenious peoples, they also a witch, so it becomes "Witch Doctor".

 

 

Why couldn't Diablo 3 just call the class "Shaman"?

 

Shaman.  One word.  ONE word.

 

Witch Doctor my arse.

 

 

My guess is stereotypes; there are many different types of Shamans.

 

Witch Doctor - even though the origin applied it differently - has in common use really tended to refer to West African shamans and shamans derrived from West African traditions.

 

I expect this kind of nomenclature to be in PoE, Amentep. Those phonetically generous place names fit the various cultures Josh made up.

 

It'd be nice to see something like that (although the expansion class is a surname rather than a place name and the first word is just a Latin word).

I cannot - yet I must. How do you calculate that? At what point on the graph do "must" and "cannot" meet? Yet I must - but I cannot! ~ Ro-Man

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Seriously.  Why is it even called "Witch DOCTOR"?  Does that class even have any medical skill?  And I hate people who call themselves "doctors" when they have never even been to a college or university.

What else are you going to call someone with a doctorate in Witchcraft; Dr. Witch?

I'd say the answer to that question is kind of like the answer to "who's the sucker in this poker game?"*

 

*If you can't tell, it's you. ;)

village_idiot.gif

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Seriously.  Why is it even called "Witch DOCTOR"?  Does that class even have any medical skill?  And I hate people who call themselves "doctors" when they have never even been to a college or university.

What else are you going to call someone with a doctorate in Witchcraft; Dr. Witch?

 

 

Witch, M.D.?

Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman?

I cannot - yet I must. How do you calculate that? At what point on the graph do "must" and "cannot" meet? Yet I must - but I cannot! ~ Ro-Man

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Seriously.  Why is it even called "Witch DOCTOR"?  Does that class even have any medical skill?  And I hate people who call themselves "doctors" when they have never even been to a college or university.

What else are you going to call someone with a doctorate in Witchcraft; Dr. Witch?

 

 

Witch, M.D.?

Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman?

 

House as a doctor to the supernatural, someone make this.

Edit: Ohh, better yet do Scrubs

Edited by Orogun01
I'd say the answer to that question is kind of like the answer to "who's the sucker in this poker game?"*

 

*If you can't tell, it's you. ;)

village_idiot.gif

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Witch Doctor is actually a Shaman, it just that western people love to define things based on western perspcetive. A Shaman also act as a doctor for indegenious peoples, they also a witch, so it becomes "Witch Doctor".

 

 

Why couldn't Diablo 3 just call the class "Shaman"?

 

Shaman.  One word.  ONE word.

 

Witch Doctor my arse.

 

 

Because of English? "Shaman" don't sound English, or i am wrong?

 

 

 

Seriously.  Why is it even called "Witch DOCTOR"?  Does that class even have any medical skill?  And I hate people who call themselves "doctors" when they have never even been to a college or university.

What else are you going to call someone with a doctorate in Witchcraft; Dr. Witch?

 

 

Evolutionist

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What OP is saying is that the old Blizz guys were hardcore and grimdark, and the new diablo is a cartoony **** for kids. He feels it instinctively and sees one of the manifestation of it through class names. I imagine he's seeing other manifestations of it as well, but just can't quite put his finger on it.

IE Mod for Pillars of Eternity: link
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