Let's create the worst fantasy setting ever.

[Azure79]

We once had a narcoleptic (among other things) malkavian blacksmith when we played Dark Ages Vampire. He fell asleep halfway while charging on some zombies.

 

What happened to him?

[Darth InSidious]

Not to forget, the hero should suddenly turn from a schmuck, barely able to lift a shovel, into a master swordsman just because some powerful villain taunted him how he had butchered the population of the hero's village.

The powerful villain and his guards should also all look like the guards in Prince of Persia 1:

 

The hero is also saved from being slaughtered with his entire village at the last minute by a mysterious bardette who only joins the party early in Act II (if there's 3 acts. Act III if there's five), called Cheery Topping, who sings in rhyming couplets, forcing the guards to dance in circles. She's an old enemy of the Moderate Bad who attacks the hero's village, and her presence annoys him immensely.

 

Or is that too absurd?

[Walsingham]

To address the question of economics, objects lose value the closer they get to the centre of the bowl-world. This is called inclination, and it varies according to terrain. The principal mediums of currency are things that are sticky, like camembert cheese, honey, and small children. The only universal standard of currency is the gold pin, or GP. These are hammered into the face of anyone who questions the use of sticky things.

[Oner]

We once had a narcoleptic (among other things) malkavian blacksmith when we played Dark Ages Vampire. He fell asleep halfway while charging on some zombies.

 

What happened to him?

Overslept the battle and later became our blacksmith when we gained a fief. Oh and his name was Mih

[WILL THE ALMIGHTY]

Have we mentioned the elite group of fighters whose mission is to bring order to the world and cleanse the land from evil?

 

We should just create the most generic Bioware game setting. Its easier.

[Monte Carlo]

Not to forget, the hero should suddenly turn from a schmuck, barely able to lift a shovel, into a master swordsman just because some powerful villain taunted him how he had butchered the population of the hero's village.

The powerful villain and his guards should also all look like the guards in Prince of Persia 1:

 

The hero is also saved from being slaughtered with his entire village at the last minute by a mysterious bardette who only joins the party early in Act II (if there's 3 acts. Act III if there's five), called Cheery Topping, who sings in rhyming couplets, forcing the guards to dance in circles. She's an old enemy of the Moderate Bad who attacks the hero's village, and her presence annoys him immensely.

 

Or is that too absurd?

 

More Utter Genius. Cheery Topping is definitely in, as is bowl world and sticky things. All of the evil sultan's guards will look like their uniforms were designed by Liberace. All of the evil baron's guards will look like their uniforms were designed by Marilyn Manson.

 

Many thanks for the kind words about my Narcoleptic Lich, he is seeking the power of the widget so he can combine it with sticky stuff and create a potent Gatorade / Red Bull type brew that will keep him awake long enough to CONQUER BOWL WORLD. He also wants Cheery Topping's mortal essence, Cheery is in fact a fallen Warrior Maiden of Laaaa. Hot cleric chick distrusts her, not least because she looks fantastic in leather armour. Farm boy will be taken under dark elven psycho-warrior's tutelage and learn the Ways of Sword, Spear and Bow. The corsairs of Odge will do battle with the wandering gypsy folk, Farm Boy will make a faltering but heart-warming speech on the eve of battle..

 

We still need a dragon and a demon to make this work, but generally this stiff is red hot. It's so bad that I'm wondering if it could make a half decent Forgotten Realms supplement.

[Oner]

How about these, to just to make people cringe?

[Walsingham]

We still need a dragon and a demon to make this work, but generally this stiff is red hot. It's so bad that I'm wondering if it could make a half decent Forgotten Realms supplement.

 

 

One man's freedom fighter is another man's soul-eating demon lord of pain. Demons are too political and edgy. I vote we go retro and have a wicked stepmother. Possibly one that is a dragon. Its name will be Fionavar.

[samm]

I don't think apocalypse ponys can make a setting as bad as

. Attention, nsfw.

[Darth InSidious]

Not to forget, the hero should suddenly turn from a schmuck, barely able to lift a shovel, into a master swordsman just because some powerful villain taunted him how he had butchered the population of the hero's village.

The powerful villain and his guards should also all look like the guards in Prince of Persia 1:

 

The hero is also saved from being slaughtered with his entire village at the last minute by a mysterious bardette who only joins the party early in Act II (if there's 3 acts. Act III if there's five), called Cheery Topping, who sings in rhyming couplets, forcing the guards to dance in circles. She's an old enemy of the Moderate Bad who attacks the hero's village, and her presence annoys him immensely.

 

Or is that too absurd?

 

More Utter Genius. Cheery Topping is definitely in, as is bowl world and sticky things. All of the evil sultan's guards will look like their uniforms were designed by Liberace. All of the evil baron's guards will look like their uniforms were designed by Marilyn Manson.

 

Many thanks for the kind words about my Narcoleptic Lich, he is seeking the power of the widget so he can combine it with sticky stuff and create a potent Gatorade / Red Bull type brew that will keep him awake long enough to CONQUER BOWL WORLD. He also wants Cheery Topping's mortal essence, Cheery is in fact a fallen Warrior Maiden of Laaaa. Hot cleric chick distrusts her, not least because she looks fantastic in leather armour. Farm boy will be taken under dark elven psycho-warrior's tutelage and learn the Ways of Sword, Spear and Bow. The corsairs of Odge will do battle with the wandering gypsy folk, Farm Boy will make a faltering but heart-warming speech on the eve of battle..

 

We still need a dragon and a demon to make this work, but generally this stiff is red hot. It's so bad that I'm wondering if it could make a half decent Forgotten Realms supplement.

Her class should be a l.8 Choral Bard who multiclassed Prestidigitator.

 

There should be a race of desperately short "humourous" characters; they live in the cities, and all of their ghastly vidya-gaem-humourousness is a facade to hide their true role as the mafia/black market/gangs across the world. Sort of a cross between the Shadow Thieves of Amn, the Godfather and Grobnar.

 

The central spire of the world is absurdly tall and thin, and supports Discus, the City of Falls, which is so named for the habit of its inhabitants of falling off the edge. It is inhabited almost entirely by people who would describe themselves as "philosophical", and who wonder around all day with a vague expression. Discus is also known as Cloud-Bloody-Cuckoo-Land, and is ruled over by Her Fury, the Permanently Disgruntled Lady, who has a head-dress made entirely of rolling-pins, and wears a large, floral apron.

 

She was married to Vagus, God of Improbably Delicate Mechanical Things, but she got fed up and threw him off the edge, too. As a punishment, Yam trapped her in Discus, and forced her to manage it as a punishment. How the city manages to balance on the top of the Great Central Mountain, no-one knows, because no-one who might find out stays longer than is absolutely necessary, and anyone who's there for more than five minutes learns to block out Her Fury's incessant raving about the amount of things she has to do and how useless men are and...

 

She punishes anyone who disturbs the peace or gets in her way in one of two ways: by either pushing them off the edge, or by making them clean the bird crap off the underside. No-one knows how the birds manage to crap on the underside, but they do seem to take a perverse pride in annoying the PDL. Most inhabitants of Discus therefore, inasmuch as they have any forethought, tend to put it into not mentioning the Lady, and avoiding having her shadow.

 

Also, we are turning this into a module... right?

Edited July 2, 2009 by Darth InSidious

[HoonDing]

To lighten the atmosphere even further, there should be the occasional appearance of the

[Monte Carlo]

Also, we are turning this into a module... right?

 

Would love to, but I have the technical skills of a tadpole.

 

I am collating this precious source material, though, and will post spoof Bio-hype style puff-piece about how BOWL WORLD - SHADOWS OF THE SLUMBER-LICH is the most ground-breaking piece of interactive art since Pac Man (etc).

 

There will be a really, really lame dark elf prestige class called DUAL-WIELD SCIMITAR DIETY or something, too.

 

Cheers

MC

[Walsingham]

The over god should be Munchkeeen (three Es). Who rewards followers for rules lawyering.

[Darth InSidious]

The over god should be Munchkeeen (three Es). Who rewards followers for rules lawyering.

Does it have an overgod? I was thinking there should be a Quasi-Autonomous Non-Partisan Executive Board, made up of the eight gods... (now Vagus is dead) Perhaps Munchkeeen acts as chairperson?

 

Edit: According to my post on p.6, there is the Mysterious Overgoddess Mum (also Mom), which explains why there are only eight dark gods... Ah, well. I'm sure we can retcon this in such a way that none of it quite fits together. :D

 

Also, we are turning this into a module... right?

 

Would love to, but I have the technical skills of a tadpole.

I'm sure a team could be assembled.

 

Perhaps it could be called Rouge, Duh...

 

I am collating this precious source material, though, and will post spoof Bio-hype style puff-piece about how BOWL WORLD - SHADOWS OF THE SLUMBER-LICH is the most ground-breaking piece of interactive art since Pac Man (etc).

Excellent. :D

 

Although it needs more words like "Dark", "Night", "Hords" and other such words in its title (as well as mention of the premium module, Chub-Fuddler).

 

There will be a really, really lame dark elf prestige class called DUAL-WIELD SCIMITAR DIETY or something, too.

The dark elves were obviously enslaved by the light elves for a long time, so that there can be clumsy and ham-fisted insertion of Real-World Issues .

Edited July 3, 2009 by Darth InSidious

[Walsingham]

A quango headed by Munchkeeen sounds good. Nice thinking.

[Oner]

Although it needs more words like "Dark", "Night", "Hords" and other such words in its title (as well as mention of the premium module, Chub-Fuddler).

Night: Dark Resurrection: Hordecraft: The Cringing: Episode 1

 

Hmm..doesn't sound lame enough.

[Calax]

Hrm, we need thinly veiled references to current popculture and certain segments of the population. So maybe a race of gnomes that are really easy to beat up, but have such a technological advantage that nobody can beat them. Or better, said group isn't centralized, but rather operates via hawks that fly from member to member passing messages and technology.

 

Then there's a vain race who will inevitably be brought low due to their persuit of beauty

 

a Hobo race

 

A reefer crew

 

...

 

you get the idea.

[Meshugger]

Also, we are turning this into a module... right?

 

Would love to, but I have the technical skills of a tadpole.

 

I am collating this precious source material, though, and will post spoof Bio-hype style puff-piece about how BOWL WORLD - SHADOWS OF THE SLUMBER-LICH is the most ground-breaking piece of interactive art since Pac Man (etc).

 

There will be a really, really lame dark elf prestige class called DUAL-WIELD SCIMITAR DIETY or something, too.

 

Cheers

MC

 

How about:

 

Fables of the forgotten: The ressurrection of Darkness

 

or,

 

Otherworlds: The Lich empire Awaits

 

or,

 

Eternal conquest: The uprising of that thing that should not be

 

or,

 

Mystery Lands: The rise of the Immortal

 

or,

 

Legends of Drakl: The Malevolent Menace

 

or maybe something completely dark and whimsical,

 

Falkenlands Forgotten & Unforgiven

 

or,

 

The Kraathul Entrance

 

or,

 

The Sathanus Eclipse (of the devilish reference was to obvious, then The Dark Eclipse)

 

or, something foreign and mysterious, like

 

M

Edited July 3, 2009 by Meshugger

[Rostere]

LOL. There are some seriously funny ideas here. I'd be glad to help you to turn this into a NWN2 module, if I only had more time on my hands.

[samm]

There's a distinct lack of "shadows" in that list

[Darth InSidious]

There's a distinct lack of "shadows" in that list

That's a point. How about: Dark Shadows Rising: Hordes of the Narcolich?

[Oner]

Narcolich?

I like that. Though Dracolich is still the coolest word. And Landwirtschaftsausstellung is the most beautiful.

[Jae Onasi]

Well, you need the stereotypical +67 zillion vorpal Glowing Sword of Ultimate Good with which you will decapitate the Narco-lich after he/she/it monologues at the Hero and Princess before the Final Epic Battle . Perhaps the Princess carries the One Ring to Rule Them All +7855873 bajillion vs. Evil Narco-liches and Nothing Else.

 

The Narco-lich shall live in a dark Castle of Shadows filled with nasty traps that only the hero can traverse safely and monsters mere mortals could not defeat, and generally will make all the mistakes that are mentioned in the Evil Overlord List.

[Monte Carlo]

'Narcolich' is cool, but is it also suggestive that our undead sorcerer is also a drug dealer?

 

Maybe we can fit some GTA cliches in there too. Y'know, zombies who swear a lot and wear bikinis.

[Oner]

'Narcolich' is cool, but is it also suggestive that our undead sorcerer is also a drug dealer?

You never saw a weed warlock, did you?

 

That reminds me, role-playing session: warlock's cooking a truth serum, corrupt duke aide knocks on the door:

-You people are under suspicion of preparation and distribution of drugs!

Warlock shouting from the kitchen:

-Are you dense? It's not even ready yet!