The fun stuff

[SirPetrakus]

My cleric is getting a tad too creative for my own good. Sent a lvl 10 fighter against the group. He had a + vorpal + speed + keen rapier on him. Thought he would make the fight quite challenging. Cleric cast create water inside the fighter's lungs. Choked to death in less than 2 rounds. I may have to lay down some restrictions.

[Oner]

Reminds me of a guy how used telekinesis to wrangle enemy testicles till they collapsed. Then the GM sicced a zombie on him.

[Walsingham]

Ah yes. I had a spirit bound to a fetish underslung on a double-barreled elephant gun. The spirit had instructions that on command she would leap forth and apply her (admittedly limited) kinetic power directly to the testicles of the target. If that didn't work then you knew they were probably a demon of some sort and you let 'em have both barrels BWAM BWAM!

[Sunking]

ohh were to start:

 

well I have been plaing for about 17 years now alot of difrent systems and editions, mostly in the local RPG club were we have a open D&D group, all have charekters a we take turns in DM'ening, the group is a adventure company in forgotten and players must find reson to join themself and persuade the guild ingame.

 

So it

[Oner]

My cleric is getting a tad too creative for my own good. Sent a lvl 10 fighter against the group. He had a + vorpal + speed + keen rapier on him. Thought he would make the fight quite challenging. Cleric cast create water inside the fighter's lungs. Choked to death in less than 2 rounds. I may have to lay down some restrictions.

Don't give him xp, there's not much to learn from watching things drown.

[SirPetrakus]

Don't give him xp, there's not much to learn from watching things drown.

Yeah, but that's like screwing the whole party over. And I don't give XP per encounter. I stack them up per session, if they add up, I just reward them with a level. The whole point was making the fight challenging. So much for that ...

[Oner]

Don't give him xp, there's not much to learn from watching things drown.

Yeah, but that's like screwing the whole party over. And I don't give XP per encounter. I stack them up per session, if they add up, I just reward them with a level. The whole point was making the fight challenging. So much for that ...

Well, there's always the option to ask him to stop doing it.

[Sunking]

Don't give him xp, there's not much to learn from watching things drown.

Yeah, but that's like screwing the whole party over. And I don't give XP per encounter. I stack them up per session, if they add up, I just reward them with a level. The whole point was making the fight challenging. So much for that ...

Well, there's always the option to ask him to stop doing it.

or you could just do the old "what the players can do so can the NPC's" for some reason none of my players chose save or die and for that reason only BBEG's who realy must to fit there concept does so (Necro or evil cultist of Death)

[Oner]

http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Forgotten_Realms[/url] ']* Elminster has sex with Elvira who is polymorphed into a man.

* The world goes to hell in the 4th edition.

* Drizzt will outlive all of his friends and he cries about this often.

* Szass Tam, that's all.

* Tempus, some miserable Khorne wannabe, who can't quite nail it.

* Gargaros, another Khorne wannabe who just can't quite nail it.

Edited January 26, 2010 by Oner

[SirPetrakus]

http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Forgotten_Realms[/url] ]* Elminster has sex with Elvira who is polymorphed into a man.

* The world goes to hell in the 4th edition.

* Drizzt will outlive all of his friends and he cries about this often.

* Szass Tam, that's all.

* Tempus, some miserable Khorne wannabe, who can't quite nail it.

* Gargaros, another Khorne wannabe who just can't quite nail it.

Did I mention I'm not touching 4E timelines with a 10' pole?

[Oner]

Did I mention I'm not touching 4E timelines with a 10' pole?

You did now.

[Oner]

So I was making a character this session (GM figured a bounty hunter would work better for the team than another mage) and was about to roll starting money (1D6 gold).

"Come on baby, daddy needs a new pair of maces!" (roll) ...1. Barely enough for clothes.

GM told me to reroll.

 

 

Later we're sitting in an inn, the innkeepers daughter asking us what we want to drink:

-Nothing.

-Tea.

-Milk.

Naturally only the GM (and by extension, the daughter) doesn't get it.

[I want teh kotor 3]

I'm currently playing one of my favorite character archetypes: the douchebag paladin. Its great. I torture evildoers. It pisses my GM off.

 

Also, I yell at little old ladies in the street .

Edited February 2, 2010 by I want teh kotor 3

[Musopticon?]

Few weeks ago our group did our second foray into the Skinsaw Murders, the second scenario of the Pathfinder Adventure path Rise of the Runelords.

 

The scenario is spread over three or four parts in and around the city of Magnimar. Now, we've yet to enter Magnimar, which is a fairly sizeable trademeet of a city in Northern Varisia, a rival to the larger and more rigid Chelaxian(a hellish empire to the south, like Renaissance Italy with devils) ex-colony of Korvosa. All in all, Magnimar is the place where we finally actually get to use all the well-earned loot. It's large enough to have magical gear available and also a home to two people in our adventuring group, my character included. Of course we are blood excited to finally get there, but before that we had one obstacle to clear: Foxglove Manor.

 

Ah, Foxglove Manor, your run-off-the-mill ghost house, or is it? Our group stumbled from haunting to haunting, vary of each other's sanity and well-being. Mostly it was merely metaphysical, not corporeal hauntings, but we did a fair bit of fighting as well. Traps and natural hazards and vermin, the works. All in all a great delve of a dungeon.

 

Now, after finally finishing the mansion, giving the BBEG what he dearl deserved, we were left relatively unscathed, wandering in the first floor of the manor. Everyone was pretty spent and carrying a variety of exotic diseases and ailments("MUSHROOMS! I WANT MUSHROOMS! UNTIE ME!"), but also admiring the large haul and most importantly the next piece of te mystery we were sent to solve. Then it struck:

"-Hey guys, we still haven't drawn that string", asked Jearis, the mageling

"-What string?", I questioned

"-You know, the one that goes in the preserved monkey head, right there in the hallway."

"-Oh, right. Does anyone have a ten-foot pole? I don't want to launch another trap or spew my brain from hallucinations", intervened Dairhe, the Mierani druid

"I don't, but we could design a system of pullies and ropes and perhaps..." Jearis was about to say, but...

"RAAAGH, enough!", yelled the shoanti Skrym

"-Yeah, I'll just pull the damn thing...", said I

"-Wai..!"

"-KREAAAGH!", screeches the taxidermic simian

*as everyone stares empuzzled, I take another pull"

"-HUAAAAAGH!" postulates the head

"-You know, this could be worth something to the right buyer", offers the GM

*laugh-a-tron ensues*

 

We ended up selling the thing to an excentric old purveyor of ancient things for quite a bit of gold, but not before my character let loose a cacophony of ape noises just to see how a carrionstorm(a murder of undead carrion birds) would react to the cadences of the Mwangi jungles. Naturally they swarmed us, overtaken by an unholy rage.

 

Fun times, fun times.

[Walsingham]

@ Muso:

 

I don't recall mentioning this, but I may have done. We had a really poor GM who insisted on crowbar-ing us from point to point. We went to investigate a town instead of going where he wanted, and we got attacked by a succession of screaming diseased monkeys (you see the link). It turned out the were all coming from this twisted tree in the town square. Skull-fruit things were turning into monkeys, dropping off, and attacking us.

 

Furthering the link, we established there was a practically unlimited supply of these monkeys, so we built a cage around the tree, and spent the rest of our days farming the little bastards, and selling the revolting pelts to a nearby tannery. End of campaign, end of that GM.

[cronicler]

Had a nice little WH40k game last friday. (Personal System, 3d6 control dice) The group consists of a Sororitas (translator order, not militiant branch) attached to an Inquisitor (Amberly Vail), a bodyguard (Ex- Adeptus Arbites Handler) and 2 (Ex) Naval Ratings (1 Pc, 1 Npc) that were acting as chauffeurs for her on an errand.

 

I gave each player a detailed (and conflicting) background info about the little sector and why they were there at the moment. Every one was expecting a hunt the heretic or xeno scenario. (Classic Dark Heresy scenarios in other words).

About 5 minutes after the game started, their dromon was smashed by an emerging space hulk

 

The group managed to survive a few skirmishes with Orks and a mini-boss battle against an Eldar Wraith and a little time bubble puzzle. Then they met the Kommandos!

 

 

 

The group is moving paralell to the hull of a ship. the ground and other wall is rock. the passage is about 3 or 4 meters wide with celing lost in darkness.

The arbiter (Riot Shield & Combat Shotgun) is in the lead, then comes the Sororitas and the Naval Rating is bringing up the rear.

At this point the Sororitas Sister is carrying real heavy as she donned the "Relics" she was carrying (She is trying to get a suit of an Artificer PowerArmor and a Masterwork Inferno Pistol to her superiors) and she also got her hands on an Imperial Plasma Pistol. She makes a critical success on her Auspex/Perception (4) and detects the 6 Ork Kommandos that are rappeling down onto them. She goes gunslinger on them and fires both her plasma pistol and inferno pistol. After some good rolls (6 and 7) she manages to cook 3 of them and the forth one rolls around with plasma burns.

The remaining 2 drop onto the Arbites and Naval Rating. NR manages to blow his attacker away (4 barrelled sawed-off shotgun) while Arbiter gets a Maul to his head. Unfortunately He makes his dodge roll and avoids death

 

On turn 2 Kommando Nob joins the fun by dropping onto the Sororitas (Who to my disgust makes her str and blance checks and manages to throw the Nob off her ) . After about 4 more turns where my Ork kommandos act like friggin Ninjas out of a Naruto episode (Dodging point blank shotgun blasts, smoke/pepper/flash bombs, Martial Art strikes, ) and beat the crap out of my poor players, they depart back up into the darkness leaving some presents behind. Fortunately the group had enough armor not to die from frags and the kommandos didn't have any Kraks with them

 

It was extremely funny to watch them slaughter most of the encounter on the opening moment and get beaten stupid by the sole remaining Kommando. (Unfortunately Nob just stood there and acted like an attack magnet without doing any damage other than blayin who has the harder skull with Sororitas )

Edited February 24, 2010 by cronicler

[Walsingham]

Singing Mbube just reminded me of a certain time when I got roped into playing an NPC elf knight in Live Action Rolepay.

 

Our brief was that we would accompany the players trhough the Fey (fairy realm) past a sleeping dragon, chanting a magic chant to keep the dragon asleep while the players protected us from attack. Unfortunately for the gamesmaster chap I'd been listening to the

earlier, and the lyrics for the chant invented themselves. Fortunately my freinds who were also knights live on the same wavelength as me and I merely had to start humming teh tune and they provided the background chant and the occasional whoop or trill. Sadly no-one but us found this as funny as we did.

 

Run away

Run away

Oh run away

Run away

Run away

Run away

Yes run away

Run away...

 

In the Fey realm, the quiet fey realm,

The dragon sleeps tonight

Don't slay! Oooooh no.

 

Run run run away.

 

Or you'll pay!

 

No no no no no

Run run run away

 

Run away

Run away etc

[WorstUsernameEver]

The fun stuff : the group of players you're DMing manages to make their boss blow up the bank they should have gone inside undercover after a failed robbery attempt, and Al Qaeda acknowledging the explosion as their doing on the net.

[Oner]

Headhunter, about to torture some poor sod for info: "I have a low rank in Torture, do excuse me if I mess up." *slasher smile*

[Oner]

I remembered the very first time I RP'd. I, the fighter had to acquire some item from an inn room while the owner (a dwarf) was sleeping in his bed. A bad roll later we were exchanging blows. Someone heard the commotion and summoned some city guards who interrupted our fight shouting "What's going on here!" Having the wit of a fox I immediately threw my hands up and replied "He attacked me!" The dwarf, rendered speechless from the surprising change of events, was dragged downstairs for questioning, while I slipped out through the window.

I was so proud of myself.

[SirPetrakus]

My lowbie group wants to convince a mostly evil lowbie group to do some dirty work for them and paying them nearly squat. A series of failed diplomacy checks and our Barbarian is just fed up with it.

 

Barbarian: Listen up, you little, s#!ts! I'm not giving you a damn penny! Now do as you're told or I will kill you right now!

*intimidate roll 1*

 

Evil rogue notches an arrow.

*rolls a 20; potential critical*

*rolls a second 20; barbarian gets an arrow stuck in his throat*

 

Only 1 or 2 party members were left alive before the city guard showed up and saved them.

[Walsingham]

"-Yeah, I'll just pull the damn thing...", said I

"-Wai..!"

"-KREAAAGH!", screeches the taxidermic simian

*as everyone stares empuzzled, I take another pull"

"-HUAAAAAGH!" postulates the head

"-You know, this could be worth something to the right buyer", offers the GM

 

I didn't get this the first time round. It's fething hilarious now, though.

[Oner]

Kobold adventurers

[The4th1]

I think this was pretty fun, even if it didn't involve any deaths.

 

I was playing a custom-race and I was in the middle of an orc trench camp thing. There was a DMPC with me to help me out and I quickly killed the Orcs in this place, though he got captured so I had to rescue him. I found a secret door which led to where most of the orcs were. Now, the alarm was sounded and being a Cleric I had access to create water, I did just that and what happened was all the orcs that came ran face first into the wall. :D

[Nightshape]

I'm currently playing one of my favorite character archetypes: the douchebag paladin. Its great. I torture evildoers. It pisses my GM off.

 

Also, I yell at little old ladies in the street .

 

That's pretty much an RP fail.