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SirPetrakus

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I'm a little afraid to ask ... why WAS the elephant in the cavern?

 

Yeah, well remember I was 13 (or younger) when I did it, but the entire dungeon was originally a mine, and a section of the caves had weakened enough that an elephant had, in fact, managed to fall through the upper hill that the caves were in (HP were substracted for this even!) while walking around up there.

 

The problem was when I hadn't properly motivated WHY the Elephant had been walking over the hill in the first place! I'd just never thought that far ahead and the players called me on it. :ermm:

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That's the kind of GMing you do when you're 13 years old! :fdevil: My friend summed it up as a pointless exercise, since the GM can always win. (parries notwithstanding)

 

At 13 (or was I 11?), in one of the few DMing sessions I ever did, I had all the players quit on me when they met an elephant in a cavern.

 

In my defense, when I put the elephant in the cavern it made sense to ME, I just could never get that across to the players. :lol:

 

Makes sense to me. I remember when we had elephants turn up in our adventure. I maintained that they were the same size as shown in the encyclopaedia britannica. i.e 4 inches long.


"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

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I'm a little afraid to ask ... why WAS the elephant in the cavern?

 

Yeah, well remember I was 13 (or younger) when I did it, but the entire dungeon was originally a mine, and a section of the caves had weakened enough that an elephant had, in fact, managed to fall through the upper hill that the caves were in (HP were subtracted for this even!) while walking around up there.

 

The problem was when I hadn't properly motivated WHY the Elephant had been walking over the hill in the first place! I'd just never thought that far ahead and the players called me on it. :(

 

Well, if you put it like that, I guess it's normal. I really see nothing wrong with an elephant going up a hill. I mean, was there an elephant repellent device on the hill that made it impossible for elephants to go there? Elephants do walk, last time I checked. Sure, it's a large coincidence, but it isn't impossible. Your players were just nitpicking.

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I guess they felt that the place wasn't likely to be prone to Elephant infestations!

 

Still I was a terrible DM anyhow, so it was all well and good for me to stop. The only other time I dmed I bored everyone and they quit.

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It was just one elephant. If they numbered like a termite colony then, yeah, probably. I haven't had my players give up on me though. I mean, with fun diversions like Odysseas, the next session can't come soon enough. Being split in half by a rotating wall had never been done before. Well, as far as I know.

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Yeah sadly we lacked entertaining players or characters in those sessions.

 

There some later like the player who had the genius to use his additional strength granted from bracers of giants strength to not carry more items but to lug around a corpse of something they'd kill in the dungeon to use as a trap shield (rolling the body into rooms to try and set off ground traps and the like) or the multiple personality disorder Gnome Illusionist whose other personalities were an Orc Barbarian (so he'd rush headlong into battle) and an Elven Princess (who would boss around the other players and refuse to do any manual labor).

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I'd be very interested to hear more on that Gnome illusionist with the split personality. Sounds like a character made of win and gold. xD

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Man, where are all the crazy stories people?? - surely there's someone out there who've experienced something truely weird in the realm of Roleplaying?


Fortune favors the bald.

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I haven't done any pnp in a while.

 

I guess the coolest thing to happen recently was in Cthulhu. We were playing WW1 doughboys, and - long story short - we got surprised and not at all pleased by a walking skeleton abomination. We all let fly with rifles, an LMG, and grenades to no effect. It just kept coming, inexorably closer. then one of the guys, the quiet one, freaks comletely, and bayonet charges it. Total fluke, massive critical, kills it stone deader. Referee gave us back sanity for seeing the darkness done down with cold steel. "They don't like it up 'em, Mr Mannering."


"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

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Paizo's PFS module The Hydra's Fang Incident had the Pathfinders(a lodge of treasure hunters and general Indiana types) try to find a missing pirate captain and his ship and deal with some lost relics. Naturally every factions had their own stake in the matter, but as usual all Pathfinders decided to group hug and stick together for the most part.

 

Anyways, as it goes with dirty shore towns and pirates, finding Darziel's ship the Hydra's Fang included boarding a large rowing vessel we graciously accepted after greasing the local guardsmen. And naturally enough we had a couple of nasty encounters while on the craft and navigating the bays and tide pools of the natural waterfront. The first of these encounters started with our second ranger, Vasco noticing two dark shapes swiftly swimming towards our vessel, only to meet our readied party targeting all their bows and crossbows on them.

 

Unfortunately, Sahuagin are water-based creatures and, despite the waterfront being dumped full of waste thanks to the highly-refined early-Renaissance notion of enviromental preservation in Golarion, being subaquatic, they naturally decided to even the odds by trying to dip the boat.

 

At this point a chorus of "****s" met the gm, since everyone knows what will happen to a cleric in field plate, a barbarian in chainmail and everyone else wearing studded leather and armored kilts(yay for 1+ armor class, nay for rising the category from light to medium)) while being faced with a sudden Swim check. Everyone else except the daring Vasco, who dexterously run along the boat while it tripped, took a dip in the green jelly of the bay.

 

And it was about then that a certain person faced with gm-duties started to grin, chuckled at the collected angry faces and told them he had changed the water from "deep" to "chest-high" after getting enough of full-party deaths. Everyone sighed, started puking out the oily goo and taking shots at the fishmen.

Edited by Musopticon?

I was raised by polar bears. I had to fight against blood thirsty wolves and rabid penguins to get my food. Those who were too weak to survive were sent to Sweden.

 

It has made me the man I am today. A man who craves furry hentai.

So let us go and embrace the rustling smells of unseen worlds

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Pretty impressive to tip a large rowing vessel in chest high water..


Fortune favors the bald.

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I'd be very interested to hear more on that Gnome illusionist with the split personality. Sounds like a character made of win and gold. xD

 

Sadly I wasn't at that game session so I only know of it by legend. :(

 

Apparently he almost got killed trying to parlay with some Orcs while his personality was in Orc Barbarian mode, then fell out with the group in Elven Princess mode because they weren't treating him as befit his station in life (complete with slapping the male party leader in the face for being too familiar!)

 

I wish I'd been there. :lol:

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I'd be very interested to hear more on that Gnome illusionist with the split personality. Sounds like a character made of win and gold. xD

 

Sadly I wasn't at that game session so I only know of it by legend. :(

 

Apparently he almost got killed trying to parlay with some Orcs while his personality was in Orc Barbarian mode, then fell out with the group in Elven Princess mode because they weren't treating him as befit his station in life (complete with slapping the male party leader in the face for being too familiar!)

 

I wish I'd been there. :lol:

 

Oh God, that sounds epic! Get the details from these people fast!

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Pretty impressive to tip a large rowing vessel in chest high water..

Apparently, the boat was entering shallows just then. I know, I know, not even nigh-plausible.


I was raised by polar bears. I had to fight against blood thirsty wolves and rabid penguins to get my food. Those who were too weak to survive were sent to Sweden.

 

It has made me the man I am today. A man who craves furry hentai.

So let us go and embrace the rustling smells of unseen worlds

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I had pretty funny gaming session this weekend - which was intended to be over the top..

 

We were 6 guys playing and the GM wanted us to make highlevel extraordinary (within the Forgotten Realms), evil and fanatical characters.. I was a warforge blackuard and I was accompanied by a warforge Artificer, a Fallen Aasimar spellweaver (they made up the class, he could tap directly into the weave), a Wind Genasi shadowdancer and pure crystal form Psionic warrior.

 

And then we set out to do wierd stuff in the name of our God Cyric..

 

The funniest thing happened when we entered a cave and started searching for some artifacts, I was the only one who didn't have darkvision, so I was totally blind for the duration - I had the ability to transfrom myself via a cloak of alteration, so I changed my self into a cat and sat on the shoulder of the crystal guy.. We stumbled across an Elder Earth Elemental who started beating us, when I got an idea - as things were looking grim I asked the guy I was sitting on to throw me at the elemental, he grapped me (still in catform) and threw me with all his strength at the elemental - moments before I struck it, I changed back into my original form and being a 3000 pound warforge I went right through it and scored a critical, which killed it..

 

Most epic slaying I've ever done! :grin:


Fortune favors the bald.

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(Not my own game unfortunately) Gurps WW2 game at convention. Omaha beach as usual. Good DM, extremely detailed preparations. 6 man party, My pal is playing scout and there is another gurps veteran is playing commando. The party lands and starts moving or more precisely crawling very slowly. The players are generally dnd guys and they are arguing a lot. Well except the 2 bloody maniacs that are running all around tossing pipe bombs and other stuff including rocks to fake as grenades at every seen target. The moments I saw and destroyed me were:

 

Machine Gunner: What is the range of this weapon? (He is carrying a BAR)

DM: Umm what?

MG: How far can I shoot with this weapon

DM: .....?!

Commando: About 2 and a half kilometers.

MG: ??? Erm what (looks at DM)

DM: You have never fired a gun have you?

The gun nuts who were around the table are trying not to laugh out loud at this time.

 

Situation: Pinned down by crossfire. sniper nest and an MG nest. The party is stuck and the commando is not around at the time.

DM: What are you doing guys? come on!

*The group is arguing again, calling fire support and such.

Scout: I am throwing red smoke to the left

DM: Red Smoke? Left? WTF for?

S: I am doing it. trust me.

DM: Erm ok...

S: Then I sprint right zigzagging; turns to the others and shouts "Cover Fire dammit! Now!

The group looks at him uncomprehending...

DM: Ok I take my shots at you now

S: Oh **** oh **** oh ****...

He managed to run past the fire unscratched. Unfortunately he couldn't manage to stop and slammed into a bunker wall knocking himself out :(


IG. We kick ass and not even take names.

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Haaaaaahahahahahaha! That was awesome!

 

Oh, wow! I can't believe I forgot all about the story I am about to tell you guys.

 

So, FR party in a forest somewhere in the Dalelands, we find a dragon's cave and devide to rob him blind. The dragon was asleep and we were pretty low level, so we decided NOT to fight him, instead have the fighter in and carry as much loot as possible and have the thief distract the dragon, if he wakes up. So, the fighter goes in undetected with the thief standing in the cave's entrance. Well ...

 

Thief: Hey! Hey dragon!

DM/Party: WTF are you doing?

Thief: No, guys, trust me on this one.

DM:*shrugs*

Thief: Hey! You there! Big red scaly guy!

DM: The dragon opens one eye and snorts. He's noticed you and is about to fry you with his breath weapon.

Thief: Ah! Uh ... th-that guy's trying to rob you!

Fighter:O_O

DM: The dragon snaps his neck up, turning around in the fighter's direction. He sees you, alright!

Fighter: #4($! You idiot!

DM: He throws his breath weapon at you. Roll reflex.

Fighter: *saves*

DM: Good that's only 20 dmg, what do you do now?

Fighter: I'm getting the hell outta here!

Thief: I go around the dragon to his treasure hoard.

Fighter: Why, you backstabbing bastard!

 

So the party escapes inside the woods, the thief is getting phat lewt and the dragon is flying over us, burning the place up.

 

Cleric: So, what do we do now?

Fighter: We head for the nearest town through the woods, closest thing to a cover we'll ever get.

Cleric: Are you sure that's a good idea?

Fighter: Relax! The town will be fine.

 

So the party managed to get to town, find the thief and get lost in the crowd and escape thesmoking cinder that became the town when the Dragon showed up. Upon arrival in the next town, our 'heroes' decided to hit the inn.

 

*in the room*

Thief: Are there any night stands or closets in the room?

DM: Yeah ...

Thief: Do they have drawers?

DM: Yeah ...

Thief: I throw it out the window.

DM: O_O Uh... well, you pull the drawer out and throw it out the window. Unfortunately, the window was closed so you ended up breaking it and sending glass along with a drawer down on the pedestrians outside, effectively killing one.

Mage: Sweet! I throw one too, but I aim it on someone.

DM: You know guys ... I'm seriously thinking of an alignment change for the whole party.

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Not a comedy anecdote tbh but another convention staple for me;

This is my last ditch instant scenario that I needed to field on the fly as some 2 or 3 people always get left in the open and if I am not active in a game I usually get the request from the staff (which I am usually a part of =]) to open a quick 1shot. Anyway last I heard it was dubbed "Welcome to Cthuluville High". The setting is your generally Buffy like spooky high school / college in a relatively minor town. You talk some light background with your players, letting them crate their own versions of students and decide on a tragedy / secret or something similar to tag to their character, like a girl with all relatives dead and lonely etc.

 

Then you start the prologue by describing them their first week of the school making them feel gloomy by harassing them, getting them into trouble, having them robbed etc. Our game starts with the last lesson of the week, a filler low credit lesson, something in the lines of History of Central American Civilizations or Lost Continent Mu or whatever. Your aim here is to start their imagination on the overclock. Just give them an extremely obscure speech about blood, sacrifice, and other icky stuff.

 

At this point, your job as a DM ends actually :lol: start throwing the poor lambs onto each other, girl a meets girl b in a bar, then girl b meets boy a on a back alley etc. The players will probably be seeing monsters everywhere so throw spooky things to them like falling asleep and getting locked in school at night etc. Breaking cellphones, dead batteries. In a couple of encounters the group will start writing their own horror monsters under the bed. Also at this stage whispering nonsense while players are talking to each other as their inner voice works wonders. (Girl a is talking to girl b in bar about weird happenings. Start whispering to one of the players; stuff like I didn't have any troubles before meeting her. It must be because of her. I did not have these. Did I?... )

 

Depending on the mood you can wrap up the game by accepting the fact that the group does find something mystical in their search for shadows and role playing a face off scene with each other as they confront their inner demons (tied to their tragedies) you voicing the inner voice of course. Or if the group is growing too munchkin you can drop them into a weird dungeon crawl or encounter too.

 

One of my most memorable games (Girl A -lonely, no body- Girl B -Family/Father Abuse- Boy A -Cracked due to seeing all his friends and family die in a plane crash-) ended with a face off scene, girl a going she must be mine, she must belong to me over girl b, girl b accepting it and the boy becoming a psi... it was really surreal

Another memorable game (again 2 girls this time with 2 boys) went on to become a real nerd fest at the end, our heroes got lost in the L dimension and they were kicked out of it by the Orangutan in the end. (Obscure Terry Prachet reference)


IG. We kick ass and not even take names.

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DM: You know guys ... I'm seriously thinking of an alignment change for the whole party.

Post traumatic stress disorder in the Forgotten Realms :lol:


“He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would surely suffice.” - Albert Einstein

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The cupboard thing reminds me of a true story I heard from a friend who was working in Egypt as a teacher. They were living in Alexandria, ina tower block, and his friend dragged the ancient acst iron gas stove to the balcony to give it a good clean. It weighed about 150 lbs. While cleaning it, he lost control, and the thing toppled through the railing, fell several floors, and narrowly missed an old man. Impressive, enough, but it later transpired that the old man in question was radical cleric, and if it had hit him there could have been civil war at what was 'obviously' and MI6 hit.


"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

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I don't play PnP (I wouldn't know how or what I'd need or any people that play it) but I know enough to find this thread entirely hilarious.

 

However, you're all like "it was a terrible game" with these hilarious things happening. Is it not good to strive for hilarity in PnP?


The sky had never seemed so sky, the world had never seemed so world.

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Well, mostly you strive for a thrilling adventure. A fascinating tale can keep your party thralled for sessions upon sessions. Or you can have a player like Odysseas, screw up your entire setting by unleashing an undead army that eventually destroys the world, and have to make things on the fly because none of the notes you made had any advice on what would happen if the fighter offended the Elven King. In that case, you are just in it for the fun.

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Yeah times like these forced me to stop actually planning out adventures. Now i have an encounter and character that i want to introduce in the adventure, and really that's about it. I know that m players will try to be creative and will end up messing everything up. It is much easier now, when i had the adventure planned out i would get flustered when they totally screwed things up, now it is easier for me to think of something new on the fly. But i like it better that way, i love giving my players freedom and see what kind of trouble they find themselves in. You never know when one of the players will start mocking the angry god i put in the background (which i had no intention on having them fight) and i have to bring it into the fight to smack them around heh heh.

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Ah. I can see how that can be annoying at times.


The sky had never seemed so sky, the world had never seemed so world.

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