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SirPetrakus

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I can't remember my solution to that problem. I think it comes down to having large things the players can't really slide out of. That and permiting them to murder their own if things get stupid. We had to gaffer tape (duct tape) a solo to the wall of the getaway van during a Cyberpunk 2020 bank heist. He had tried to drive it away to go shopping, swearing he'd be back in time for the escape.


"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

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My character in my main group is a morbidly obese, lazy drow wizard. The DM hates it. I always ruin his encounters be refusing to walk. :blink::down:


In 7th grade, I teach the students how Chuck Norris took down the Roman Empire, so it is good that you are starting early on this curriculum.

 

R.I.P. KOTOR 2003-2008 KILLED BY THOSE GREEDY MONEY-HOARDING ************* AND THEIR *****-*** MMOS

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In my campaign that I played in college we were a five man party of a Barbarian (me), Cleric (DM), Illusionist Wizard, a Bard and a Druid. So basically a party of 3 with two useless ****s hanging on. About the most memorable thing I could think of was this one time when we had to fight a chain demon (no I am not making that up) who could hurl chains from thin air at us and had gigantic damage reduction which made me unable to hurt it.

 

So after getting beaten for several rounds and wasting spells, our Druid had the idea to cast Otiluke's Resilient Sphere on it, in the belief that we could take a break and strategize while neither party could harm each other, since the demon was in the sphere. But when he cast it he forgot that the chain demon was still hurling chains at us, the next round of the demon's the DM started rolling for damage and I knew we just ****ed ourselves. Or rather the Druid ****ed us.

 

The next few minutes were spent looking up the rules of Otiluke's Resilient Sphere, last 1min/level, impregnable, cannot be breached. Fortunately for us the Cleric "serendipitously" had a scroll of dispel magic on him.

 

There was also this other time we killed a ice dragon by hurling a dozen fireballs at it from the outside of the room it was in. Funny it worked out that way as the dragon was taking double damage and we had looted a bunch of Necklaces of Fireball that we never used so we ended up with three characters who were slinging 10d6'ers from the outside corridor per turn.


"For ourselves, we shall not trouble you with specious pretences- either of how we have a right to our empire because we overthrew the Mede, or are now attacking you because of wrong that you have done us- and make a long speech which would not be believed; and in return we hope that you, instead of thinking to influence us by saying that you did not join the Lacedaemonians, although their colonists, or that you have done us no wrong, will aim at what is feasible, holding in view the real sentiments of us both; since you know as well as we do that right, as the world goes, is only in question between equals in power, while the strong do what they can and the weak suffer what they must."

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I remember playing a game (loosely using the CHILL rule-set) where I played a medical student not unwilling to delve into some dubious practices (not unlike Herbert West from the Lovecraft series) and had come up with a fluid I'd believe would re-animate corpses.

 

I'd even recruited one of the other players to help me!

 

Then we were attacked by vampires and one of the group was kidnapped.

 

But we found out my fluid caused vampire tissue to explode!

 

So armed with bottles of fluid, syringes and needles, me and my pal tried an impromptu raid on the vampires thinking we could explode them in their coffins and free our friend.

 

Which didn't seem like a bad idea, except there were more vampire than we thought, we didn't get them all killed by sundown, and we got surrounded by vampires after having exploded a number of their friends and family. We tried to fight them off (although using hypodermic needles and syringes filled with the fluid as weapons against super-strong, super-fast vampires may have been, in retrospect, a bit optimistic), which ended up with our entire group wiped out by vampires. :)

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I also remember playing in a spy game (don't remember the one) where after a short chase, some villains got into a car and try to run me over. As I was separated from the other players I had no back up or support and had put up my gun in the chase.

 

Me - in my genius mode - decide instead of jumping out of the way (which the DM expected) I'd jump on the hood of the car and try to run over the top of the car, jumping off the trunk to land behind the car.

 

The DM was flabbergasted but let me roll for it. So I rolled to jump and not get hit (which I made) to land on my feet on the hood of the car (which I also made) to keep my footing (which I made) to run over the car (which I also made) and to jump off the trunk and land on my feet behind the car (which I made).

 

Total triumph!

 

Until the DM had the villains throw the car in reverse. :)

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I DMed a game a couple weeks ago and I admit I wasn't not extremely creative on that night. We had a party of 3 (I always play a neutral NPC everytime I DM so that my two friends don't get overwhelmed): a human bard, a half-orc barbarian and a dwarven cleric. What we usually do in our sessions is to let the DM tell the background story of each character (and the players play along its lines). The story was about a mysterious guild that had appeared in Neverwinter and that was causing all sorts of problems. I had to find a motivation for finding the guild's whereabouts for each character. The bard was part of the greycloaks and the barbarian was part of a rival guild. However, I was not particularly inspired for the dwarf. So, I just said their was a dwarven pandemic among its clan (facepalm) and he was sent to find a cure (a lone dwarf for the job!) and that he learned that the mysterious guild was all behind this. My players asked me suspiciously what kind of pandemic it was. I scratched my head and told them that it was a pandemic that made dwarves lose their beards... Yeah, I know, it's lame...


"Ooo, squirrels, Boo! I know I saw them! Quick, throw nuts!" -Minsc

"I am a well-known racist in the Realms! Elves? Dwarves? Ha! Kill'em all! Humans rule! -Me

 

Volourn will never grow up, he's like the Black Peter Pan, here to tell you that it might be great to always be a child, but everybody around is gonna hate it. :p

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I scratched my head and told them that it was a pandemic that made dwarves lose their beards... Yeah, I know, it's lame...

Ouch, never touch a dwarfs beard. In Warhammer, one of the most famous (and devastating) conflicts was known as "The War of the Beard" >_

 

@Amentep: Syringe of Vampire slaying?!?...


“He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would surely suffice.” - Albert Einstein

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I played with a guy who hunted vampires carrying bottles labelled Holy Water, and in fact contained conc. nitric acid. That way they worked no matter what you hit. Later he had them blessed for good measure.


"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

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I played with a guy who hunted vampires carrying bottles labelled Holy Water, and in fact contained conc. nitric acid. That way they worked no matter what you hit. Later he had them blessed for good measure.

 

:):lol:


In 7th grade, I teach the students how Chuck Norris took down the Roman Empire, so it is good that you are starting early on this curriculum.

 

R.I.P. KOTOR 2003-2008 KILLED BY THOSE GREEDY MONEY-HOARDING ************* AND THEIR *****-*** MMOS

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I don't think I've posted this. I may have, but I probably haven't. Once again I was the DM in a group that consisted of a few friends. Standard party, Fighter, Druid, Thief and Mage back in good old 2nd E. AD&D. We're in this dungeon and there's this pit in the corridor in front of us filled with this very nasty looking liquid.

 

Thief: I cut ... a piece of my rope and throw it in the pit. What happend?

Me: The rope starts making a hissing sound and disolves.

Thief: I pick a ... ration out of my pack and throw it in. What happens now?

Me: Same thing as the rope.

Thief: OK, I stick my index finger in, what happens now?

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So, what happened...?


"Ooo, squirrels, Boo! I know I saw them! Quick, throw nuts!" -Minsc

"I am a well-known racist in the Realms! Elves? Dwarves? Ha! Kill'em all! Humans rule! -Me

 

Volourn will never grow up, he's like the Black Peter Pan, here to tell you that it might be great to always be a child, but everybody around is gonna hate it. :p

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Once our party got hired as bodyguards for some noble. For the night everyone got a separate room in his castle. Just before he fell asleep, our barbarian heard several footsteps echoing throughout the corridor, stopping right before his room. He listened for awhile and after some time the unidentified people (in reality the captain of the guard making his nightly rounds) have gone away.

He spent the rest of the night sitting on the floor with his two handed sword in his lap, rocking back and forth whispering "They'll come soon, they'll come soon."

 

Recently I made an orc warlock, with an endurance of 21 (20 being the racial max + gifted background, similar to Fallout's). That basically means immunity to anything that is less deadly than an extra strong poison. Our GM's reaction? "You're thirsty. Oh look, puddle-beer!" My char found it tasty.


"Bones heal, chicks dig scars, pain is temporary, glory is forever."

What is glass but tortured sand?
Never forget! '12.01.13.

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So, what happened...?

 

Well, we once were on a stake out for someone. So the guy shows at one point up and sees us and starts to run away.

 

Thief: Guys! Look! Look! There's the guy!

Me: The thief has his hand raised, but he doesn't seem to be pointing at something in particular.

Thief: What do y-oh. Right. I'll never get used to that one.

 

Eventually we gathered enough money to get him a regeneration spell cast at him so his finger can grow back. It always was fun however when he went 'Now, you listen here, I-' only to see the NPCs look at his raised hand with no index finger on it.

 

Hired as bodyguards, you say, Oner? That reminds me of something vague. Very vague. I will have to consult some of my old players on it.

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Hired as bodyguards, you say, Oner? That reminds me of something vague. Very vague. I will have to consult some of my old players on it.
Looking forward to the story.

"Bones heal, chicks dig scars, pain is temporary, glory is forever."

What is glass but tortured sand?
Never forget! '12.01.13.

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Oh dear God! This is one of the worst things we've ever done during an RP session. Forgotten Realms session 2nd Edition, our group was hired by a noble lord to escort his son back from a boarding school. Said lord was higly influential and kidnapping his son could have devastating consequences. So we got ambush in larger numbers and as most of the ambushers would just ignore us and ran straight for the child our mage cast Web centered on the boy so everyone around him was stuck. Then the wizard decided to cast Burning Hands, which resulted in the web catching fire and burning everyone not just in range of the spell, but in contact with the webbing. Explaining the boys charred remains to his father ... didn't end quite favorably for the party.

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Oh dear God! This is one of the worst things we've ever done during an RP session. Forgotten Realms session 2nd Edition, our group was hired by a noble lord to escort his son back from a boarding school. Said lord was higly influential and kidnapping his son could have devastating consequences. So we got ambush in larger numbers and as most of the ambushers would just ignore us and ran straight for the child our mage cast Web centered on the boy so everyone around him was stuck. Then the wizard decided to cast Burning Hands, which resulted in the web catching fire and burning everyone not just in range of the spell, but in contact with the webbing. Explaining the boys charred remains to his father ... didn't end quite favorably for the party.

 

If you were English and a gentleman you would know the only socially acceptable way to resolve such an appalling faux pas is to kill the boy's entire family as well.


"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

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Oh dear God! This is one of the worst things we've ever done during an RP session. Forgotten Realms session 2nd Edition, our group was hired by a noble lord to escort his son back from a boarding school. Said lord was higly influential and kidnapping his son could have devastating consequences. So we got ambush in larger numbers and as most of the ambushers would just ignore us and ran straight for the child our mage cast Web centered on the boy so everyone around him was stuck. Then the wizard decided to cast Burning Hands, which resulted in the web catching fire and burning everyone not just in range of the spell, but in contact with the webbing. Explaining the boys charred remains to his father ... didn't end quite favorably for the party.

 

That reminds me of when I accidentally killed the royal family of large kingdom... We were a high level party, and we were escorting them to a ceremony of some sort... They were riding in a wooden carriage, and a band of mercenaries charged it... I, without thinking, cast a powerful fireball... No more carriage...


In 7th grade, I teach the students how Chuck Norris took down the Roman Empire, so it is good that you are starting early on this curriculum.

 

R.I.P. KOTOR 2003-2008 KILLED BY THOSE GREEDY MONEY-HOARDING ************* AND THEIR *****-*** MMOS

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If you were English and a gentleman you would know the only socially acceptable way to resolve such an appalling faux pas is to kill the boy's entire family as well.
If I ever became rich, I would've hired an Original English Buttler (and have him trained in several martial art styles), and this is just one more reason to do it.

"Bones heal, chicks dig scars, pain is temporary, glory is forever."

What is glass but tortured sand?
Never forget! '12.01.13.

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I just had that bit with the vampires in Fallout 3 and this wanker was trying to yap on about poetry and somesuch and IN MY HEAD I thought "This fool isn't going to let me complete my mission peacefully is he" So I hit the inventory, drank a bottle of beer, waited until they were assembled for a meeting, laced the entire area with landmines, and retreated to a safe distance. Then I had another beer. they got up, dispersed and mines started going off. They all died. I had another beer.

 

Maybe not funny to you guys, but I perfectly hit my funny bone.


"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

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I just had that bit with the vampires in Fallout 3 and this wanker was trying to yap on about poetry and somesuch and IN MY HEAD I thought "This fool isn't going to let me complete my mission peacefully is he" So I hit the inventory, drank a bottle of beer, waited until they were assembled for a meeting, laced the entire area with landmines, and retreated to a safe distance. Then I had another beer. they got up, dispersed and mines started going off. They all died. I had another beer.

 

Maybe not funny to you guys, but I perfectly hit my funny bone.

 

Why did I read that in the worst hill-billy accent I could possibly muster? I could just imagine your character kicking back some cold ones and watching the bloody fireworks with a grin on his face.


Fortune favors the bald.

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