Things you wish your character would say

[Gabrielle]

The masters are meeting on Dantooine...

 

Zez-Kai Ell: "So, we're resolved to cut the Exile off from the force?"

 

Vrook: "Of course - there is no other way!"

 

Kavar: "I just hope he won't take it too hard and try to stop us..."

 

Zez-Kai Ell: "Well, he does have unique powers, and he might not go along with our decision. You sure we shouldn't keep that shuttle handy in case..."

 

Vrook [interrupting]: "Evacuate?!? In our moment of triumpth?!? I think you overestimate his chances!!!"

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

That is so cool.

[Ulicus]

The masters are meeting on Dantooine...

 

Zez-Kai Ell: "So, we're resolved to cut the Exile off from the force?"

 

Vrook: "Of course - there is no other way!"

 

Kavar: "I just hope he won't take it too hard and try to stop us..."

 

Zez-Kai Ell: "Well, he does have unique powers, and he might not go along with our decision. You sure we shouldn't keep that shuttle handy in case..."

 

Vrook [interrupting]: "Evacuate?!? In our moment of triumpth?!? I think you overestimate his chances!!!"

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Beautiful!

 

As was the Nameless One gag in the post made before. *Sigh*

 

 

Kreia: The third is a creature of betrayals, but she must remain hidden for the time being an-

Exile: [interrupts] So it's you?

Kreia: Pardon?

Exile: You already told me five minutes after meeting you that you used to be the Sith Lord in charge of these two, you've already told me how you were betrayed, now you're talking about a "she" who is a creature of betrayals. So you're the end boss aren't you? I mean, it could possibly be Atris, but I doubt she'd make the cut as a Sith Lord....

Kreia: Would you kill me if I said yes?

Exile: Yes

Kreia: (thinks) Then you are mistaken.

 

 

AND

 

 

Exile: Kreia your hand!!!

Kreia: It is nothing

Exile: No, your sacrifice was... hey, wait a darn second!

Kreia: ...

Exile: Why the smeg did he slice off your off-hand?

[darth spock]

Atris: Oh, Exile, did I ever say I how much I liked you back when you were at the academy?

Handmaiden: You're OLD NEWS! I'm the one he wants.

Mira: You're forgetting I'm the one with the leather jacket and halter top.

Visas: I am the Exile's because we talked before Malachor, [goes up to Exile and holds him] didn't we, baby?

Atris: Don't you touch him!

Handmaiden: [foaming at the mouth] He's mine, damnit!

Mira: Oh no! [pulls out lightsaber]

[Atris, Handmaiden, Mira, and Visas all start fighting when they are suddenly put in stasis].

Exile: [turns round] Wha--?

Disciple: He's mine!

[Shryke]

Atris: Oh, Exile, did I ever say I how much I liked you back when you were at the academy?

Handmaiden: You're OLD NEWS! I'm the one he wants.

Mira: You're forgetting I'm the one with the leather jacket and halter top.

Visas: I am the Exile's because we talked before Malachor, [goes up to Exile and holds him] didn't we, baby?

Atris: Don't you touch him!

Handmaiden: [foaming at the mouth] He's mine, damnit!

Mira: Oh no! [pulls out lightsaber]

[Atris, Handmaiden, Mira, and Visas all start fighting when they are suddenly put in stasis].

Exile: [turns round] Wha--?

Disciple: He's mine!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

GOLD

[Jediphile]

Atris: Oh, Exile, did I ever say I how much I liked you back when you were at the academy?

Handmaiden: You're OLD NEWS! I'm the one he wants.

Mira: You're forgetting I'm the one with the leather jacket and halter top.

Visas: I am the Exile's because we talked before Malachor, [goes up to Exile and holds him] didn't we, baby?

Atris: Don't you touch him!

Handmaiden: [foaming at the mouth] He's mine, damnit!

Mira: Oh no! [pulls out lightsaber]

[Atris, Handmaiden, Mira, and Visas all start fighting when they are suddenly put in stasis].

Exile: [turns round] Wha--?

Disciple: He's mine!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Suddenly the Disciple too is hit by stasis:

 

Kreia: "No, I think not..."

Exile: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

[Lord Kil]

In response to Kreia's constant nagging about being too goody-two-shoes:

 

Exile: I've already got 70,000 credits I can't find a use for, why am I trying to muscle more from street beggers? I know, I'll by armor my crew can't wear because I've converted them all to jedi! Blasters? Medpacks? Anything they sell I've got 6 of already!

[DAWUSS]

In response to Kreia's constant nagging about being too goody-two-shoes:

 

Exile: I've already got 70,000 credits I can't find a use for, why am I trying to muscle more from street beggers? I know, I'll by armor my crew can't wear because I've converted them all to jedi! Blasters? Medpacks? Anything they sell I've got 6 of already!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

In response,

 

Atton: Let's head to the pazaak den and play pazaak

[Sikon]

Vrook: It is a punishment reserved for only a few - and only when necessary, but we have the power to cut you off from the Force, and it must be done.

Exile: I submit to this punishment.

Kreia (entering): So you will do nothing? Apathy is death. Worse than death, because at least a rotting corpse feeds the beasts and insects.

Vrook: Apathy is death.

Kavar: Apathy is death.

Zez-Kai Ell: Apathy is death.

[All four become hostile]

[Maverick4101]

Exile: No that's ok G0-T0 you don't need to come with us.

 

G0-T0: Ok.

[DAWUSS]

G0-T0 to Remote: Awww, what the heck, go ahead and activate the Mass Shadow Generator and blow this place up. See if I care.

 

Some Sith to the Exile (Sion maybe?): You do not know the power of the Dark Side.

 

Bao-Dur to Remote: Now let's blow this thing and go home!

 

Toydarian to Exile: Mind tricks don't work on me. Only money. No money, no pad, no deal.

 

Mira: For a second I thought you and Atton...

Exile: Yeah, we did. *smiles*

 

Exile to Atton: Think we can make the Kessel Run in under 12 parsecs?

Atton: We can try. Hold on, this is going to get a little rocky!

 

Lt. Grenn to Carth Onasi: Whaddup, my homey?

[darth spock]

Twi'lek: Wear this dancer's costume.

Exile: No way in hell am I wearing that!!

Twi'lek: Okay.

Exile: [turns to Visas]

Visas: You think I want to wear that?!

Exile: Then who'll wear it? We don't have the Handmaiden and Mira's not on the team yet, but for a nice fee...

Visas: Forget it.

Exile: [sigh] Alright.

[puts on outfit then realizes she can finally get Atton's attention]

Exile: Hey, Rand.

Atton: Need something?

Exile: What do you think of this outfit?

Atton: Looks good. Let's play some Pazaak.

Exile: [mumbling] %&@$....

[Calax]

Twi'lek: Wear this dancer's costume.

Exile: No way in hell am I wearing that!!

Twi'lek: Okay.

Exile: [turns to Visas]

Visas: You think I want to wear that?!

Exile: Then who'll wear it? We don't have the Handmaiden and Mira's not on the team yet, but for a nice fee...

Visas: Forget it.

Exile: [sigh] Alright.

[puts on outfit then realizes she can finally get Atton's attention]

Exile: Hey, Rand.

Atton: Need something?

Exile: What do you think of this outfit?

Atton: Looks good. Let's play some Pazaak.

Exile: [mumbling] %&@$....

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Nah I prefer for those last four lines

Exile: Hey, Rand.

Atton: huh?

Exile: Feeling Randy there?

Atton: (nose bleed and a faint)

[Jediphile]

On Malachor after the final battle:

 

Atton: "So, is it over?"

 

Exile: "Yes, it's over - we've defeated the Sith threat and save the galaxy as we know it!"

 

Atton: "... and the good news is that the authorities on Manaan aren't going to prosecute us for it..."

[Ulicus]

On Malachor after the final battle:

 

Atton: "So, is it over?"

 

Exile: "Yes, it's over - we've defeated the Sith threat and save the galaxy as we know it!"

 

Atton: "... and the good news is that the authorities on Manaan aren't going to prosecute us for it..."

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Selkath: "Coorseeqqqqelkooorkeldadudamor coorseqkorleeelkor seeeqeeelcorkorselkmorko kar Coorseeqqqqelkooorkeldadudamor coorseqkorleeelkor seeeqeeelcorkorselkmorko kar Coorseeqqqqelkooorkeldacoordudamor coorseqkorleeelkor seeeqeeelcorkorselkmorko kar Coorseeqqqqelkooorkeldadudamor kulkocoorseqkorleeelkor seeeqeeelcorkorselkmorko kar" <"Guess again">

[DAWUSS]

Vogga to Exile: You're beautful but you can't dance. I can always threaten someone into giving you dancing lessons. And did I mention you holding that lightsaber is oh so... *drools*

 

 

 

*4000 years later*

 

Jabba to himself: I heard Vogga had a hot Jedi as his dancer, and all I get is chick who tries to kill me? WHY OH WHY OH WHY????? *pounds his fist angrily* Oh well at I least I got the Rancor

[darth spock]

[bastila runs, panting, down a long hallway of doors. She eventually chooses one at random and goes in and locks it promptly. She surveys the room to see the Handmaiden hiding in a corner].

Bastila: What are you doing here?

Handmaiden: The fanboys...

Bastila: I know! They won't stop!!

Handmaiden: At least you weren't made to spar in your underwear...

[bastila gapes].

Handmaiden: The Force is terrible sometimes, isn't it?

Bastila: I played the cliched damsel-in-distress.

Handmaiden: I heard that Carth guy had to act like a total pansy. Talk about harsh...

[suddenly Atton runs in the room].

Atton: Damn fangirls...

[Carth joins them].

Carth: Didn't know there was a group of us.

Handmaiden: The victims of fanboys.

Atton: And fangirls.

Bastila: Well, we might as well get comfortable. It's not like we can go out before KotOR 3 comes out so there's someone else.

Handmaiden: But what if they never make one?

[bastila and Atton draw their lightsaber and Carth his blasters].

Bastila: [darkly] Oh they will.

[indarkestday]

[bastila runs, panting, down a long hallway of doors. She eventually chooses one at random and goes in and locks it promptly. She surveys the room to see the Handmaiden hiding in a corner].

Bastila: What are you doing here?

Handmaiden: The fanboys...

Bastila: I know! They won't stop!!

Handmaiden: At least you weren't made to spar in your underwear...

[bastila gapes].

Handmaiden: The Force is terrible sometimes, isn't it?

Bastila: I played the cliched damsel-in-distress.

Handmaiden: I heard that Carth guy had to act like a total pansy. Talk about harsh...

[suddenly Atton runs in the room].

Atton: Damn fangirls...

[Carth joins them].

Carth: Didn't know there was a group of us.

Handmaiden: The victims of fanboys.

Atton: And fangirls.

Bastila: Well, we might as well get comfortable. It's not like we can go out before KotOR 3 comes out so there's someone else.

Handmaiden: But what if they never make one?

[bastila and Atton draw their lightsaber and Carth his blasters].

Bastila: [darkly] Oh they will.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You hit the nail on the head.

Then Disciple comes in: Geez! They're all over me!

(Everyone looks at him.)

Disciple: What?!

[Sikon]

Bastila: I played the cliched damsel-in-distress.

Uh-huh. There are plenty of cliche characters in KOTOR I, but Bastila is a deep character and certainly not a damsel in distress. She's more of the Leia type.

 

Exile (to Mandalore): Come on, Candy, I know you want to show me your face. You may act all rough and mean, but you're just a big softie inside.

 

Exile (to Visas): [Force Persuade] You want to wear the dancer's outfit.

[DAWUSS]

Exile on Giant Storm Beast: Look at the size of that thing!

 

HK-47: We're doomed!

 

Atton on Visas: She must be what Kreia looked like 40 years ago.

 

Any Jedi in the game: May the Force be with you.

 

Exile to Vogga: Come, Vogga, let me teach you the ways of the Force. Only then will you be able to find Goto. Plus, you get to carry around this glowy stick.

 

Atris: I'm sorry I stole your ship. Here have all 6 of my Handmaidens, have this Academy, I'm going to Nar Shaddaa to be something very very dirty, if you know what I mean.

 

Sion: Let me kill Kreia for you.

 

Kreia: You must kill me.

Exile: The Force Bond! If I kill you...

Kreia: Does anyone really give a damn about that Force Bond? I mean, look, no one is even thinking about it at this point, except for you. So would you ask me something else? Ask me what happens to Mira and the Republic.

[Sikon]

Exile to Vogga: Come, Vogga, let me teach you the ways of the Force. Only then will you be able to find Goto. Plus, you get to carry around this glowy stick.

Gold™

[DAWUSS]

Not to mention getting to Force Push his disloyal subjects to his kath hounds

[cyn_dolores]

Exile: It would be really useful to hold a Blaster in one hand and a Saber in the other.

 

Kreia: Shut up, fool!

(or maybe) Kreia: What other?

 

Kreia: "Well, actually..."

I love this phrase. :D Let me see...

 

Exile (crying over Atris' sholder): And the Sith... are pursuing me... thinking I'm, like... the last Jedi...

Atris: Have they fallen so far? I am the last Jedi, not you.

Vrook, Kavar and Zez-Kai Ell: But you're supposed to fall to the Dark Side! So when you finally do, perhaps it will make us the last Jedi.

Bastila: Well, actually...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

==> very good one

 

Male exile: "What happened between you and Hanaar?"

Mira; " Well, uh, I kind of save his life, and ever since he's been pursuing me all around the galaxy"

...

Male exile:" So you think you and I... maybe you know...uh..."

Mira " Sorry ever since I've been scarried by big furballs..."

...

[darth spock]

Mira: No thanks, but you're a little old.

Exile: What?

Mira: That's what the script says...

Exile: How can I be older if I fought in the Mandalorian Wars and you were a slave in them?

[Mira shrugs].

 

--------

 

Exile: Hey, you!

Twi'lek Merc: Me?

Exile: Yes, you. How do you navigate round these caves without the kinrath attacking you?

Twi'lek Merc: I've got this gland...

Exile: I want to hold your gland.

Disciple: Hey! [music starts and he starts to sing] Oh yeah, I'll tell you something, I think you'll understand. When I say that something...

I want to hold your glaaaaand. I want to hold your glaaaa

[Darkside]

Exile: Hey, you!

Twi'lek Merc: Me?

Exile: Yes, you. How do you navigate round these caves without the kinrath attacking you?

Twi'lek Merc: I've got this gland...

Exile: I want to hold your gland.

Disciple: Hey! [music starts and he starts to sing] Oh yeah, I'll tell you something, I think you'll understand. When I say that something...

I want to hold your glaaaaand. I want to hold your glaaaa

[jodo kast 5]

Exile: Hey, you!

Twi'lek Merc: Me?

Exile: Yes, you. How do you navigate round these caves without the kinrath attacking you?

Twi'lek Merc: I've got this gland...

Exile: I want to hold your gland.

Disciple: Hey! [music starts and he starts to sing] Oh yeah, I'll tell you something, I think you'll understand. When I say that something...

I want to hold your glaaaaand. I want to hold your glaaaa—

Bao-Dur [covering his ears]: Aaaaah!

Atton [shielding himself]: Make it stop!

T3: Dwoo.

Exile: When we picked you up from the enclave you promised to stop singing!

Disciple: Hey, you killed all the laigreks! [sniffle] We sang such great songs...

 

I'm not sure why I find that so amusing, but I do.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Disciple is making fun of the The Beatles .