The Birthday Dirge
AKA "The Mongolian Birthday Chant" and "The SCA Birthday Song"
Tune of : "Volga Boatmen"
Death and gloom and black despair
People dying everywhere
Chorus:
Happy Birthday! (UHH!) Happy Birthday! (UHH!)
Death, destruction, and despair
People dying everywhere.
Now you are the age you are
Your demise cannot be far
May the candles on your cake
Burn like cities in your wake
Burn the Castle and storm the keep
Kill the Women but SAVE THE SHEEP!
Now your jail-bait days are done
Let's go out and have some fun!
May your deeds with sheep and yaks
Equal those with sword and axe
You must marry very soon
Baby's due the next full moon
Your servants steal, your wife's untrue
Your children plot to murder you
Were I sitting in your shoes
I'd go out and sing the blues
Now you've lived another year
Age to you is like stale beer
So you've aged another year
Now you know that Death is near.
It's your birthday never fear
You'll be dead this time next year
We brought linen, white as cloud
Now we'll sit and sew your shroud!
Birthdays come but once a year
Marking time as Death draws near.
May the children in the street
Be your barbecuing meat.
When you've reached this age you know
That the mind is first to go.
And on that happy note...Happy Birthday!