Darth Drabek

As shown in BC's thread, people are still riled up over the "Hot Coffee" fiasco, although it's old news to the gaming community. When Sens. Joe and Hillary proposed federal legislation a month or two ago, the paper I work at decided to take notice. Jumping at the chance to get paid for writing about video games, I volunteered to write a column. This column, in fact. I know I'm preaching to the choir here, but remember I wrote it for a general audience - people who don't know that Death Race (1976) was the first violent video game, can't list a rough chronological history of the console RPG and have never heard of Duke Nukem. Still, chime in if you want to argue points or discuss anything. Without further ado... Don't Cry Over Spilled Coffee By DARTH DRABEK When I was 13 years old, I tried every trick in the book to get my parents to buy me Mortal Kombat 2. It was the game every teenage boy wanted to play that year. As a fighting game with more than 30 ways to brutally murder your opponent, it truly took video game violence to a new level. However, the game earned the dreaded MA-17 rating, which was quite rare at the time. I never read the ESRB's report on the game, but I'm guessing they thought causing a slow, painful death by ripping someone's arms off warranted the restrictive rating. So as a red-blooded American teenager, of course I wanted to see what the game had to offer. I yearned to memorize the intricate button combinations needed to perform a decapitation via a well-placed roundhouse kick. Alas, my bloodlust was denied. My parents had read up on this sort of thing, you see, and made the decision that I would not be playing anything rated for 17-year-olds, especially something with the bad reputation of the Mortal Kombat series. Lately, the trendy thing to do is bash the extremely successful Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas video game for the inclusion of a hidden minigame featuring simulated sexual intercourse. Since its discovery, the "Hot Coffee" mod has spurred legislative action in five states, as well as a federal bill that would slam heavy fines on retailers caught selling Mature-rated games to underage gamers. Sen. Hillary Clinton is spearheading the effort to stop inappropriate games from reaching the twitching thumbs of the nation's youth. "We should all be deeply disturbed that a game, which now permits the simulation of lewd sexual acts in an interactive format with highly realistic graphics, has fallen into the hands of young people across the country," Clinton said in a letter to the Federal Trade Commission, asking for an investigation into the game. Fining the retailers will help, but it fails to address the real problem. Kids aren't buying these games: Parents are doing it for them. An 85-year-old New York woman filed a class action lawsuit against Rockstar Games after she bought the game for her 14-year old grandson. She said the company is guilty of deception and false advertising, and retailers across the U.S. pulled the game from their shelves because the pixellated sex scenes in "Hot Coffee" were deemed inappropriate for young gamers. Guess what, even without the animated bedroom Olympics, Grand Theft Auto is inappropriate for young gamers. That's why it's rated Mature, for ages 17-older. A little history, for your benefit: The Grand Theft Auto series began in 1997, but was revitalized in 2001 when Rockstar Games released Grand Theft Auto 3, a free-roaming game in which a nameless protagonist steals cars, demolishes buildings and engages in assassination missions to climb the ranks of the New York City mob. Its sequels, Grand Theft Auto: Vice City and Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, expanded on the gameplay and storylines of GTA 3, introducing gang warfare and more complex missions. The games were universally acclaimed by reviewers due to their gripping storylines, brilliantly designed missions and fantastic dialogue from professional actors like Ray Liotta, Burt Reynolds and James Woods. However, some of these missions require the player to do things that would land them in jail for a very long time in the real world. So why is it that parents have no problem buying Junior a game that allows him to run down pedestrians with a dump truck or go on a shooting spree at the local mall, but they will call the lawyers the minute the game hints at two adults having consensual sex? I am not advocating, umm, "relationship simulators;" I just think we need to get our priorities straight. Rockstar has released GTA: San Andreas without the unlockable "Hot Coffee" mod, so if the sexual content was your only reservation to buying the game, you're in the clear now. But I'd like to caution parents to read the ratings on the games their kids play -- they're there for a reason. And if you consider your 15-year-old mature enough to realize that bludgeoning pedestrians and shooting police officers is not OK in real life, go ahead and buy the game. As long as the person playing the game is able to differentiate between a fantasy environment and real life, video games are just good fun, and nothing to spill your coffee over.

Southeast Engine - In Case of Emergency And the walls are covered in a brand new coat of paint And our love that lingered once is just a lightswitch away

The Velvet Crush - Keep On Lingerin'

Well the one thing that comes out very strongly in SKOM is what you may have heard from the Jason Newsted leaving incident - James and Lars are total control freaks. They write the songs, they tell the other guys what to play, they just bitterly snipe at each other allllll damn day. Some of hte real strain happened when due to his rehab schedule, Hetfield could only "work" from noon to 4 p.m. every day. It brought album production and songwriting to a standstill, because he wouldn't let the rest of the band even listen to the day's tapes if he wasn't there. They might be making decisions regarding the songs without him! Perish the thought! The best part of the film, though, was any scene with Lars' dad in it. Especially when Lars played him something off the new album and he told his son, in no uncertain terms, that it sucked hard.

Did you see the deleted scene with Lars throwing a tantrum because nobody told him to wear a Hawaiian shirt for Kirk's birthday? Absolutely childish.

Some Kind of Monster was ridiculous. The only one who came out of that project without looking like a self-righteous, pompous jerk was Kirk Hammett. At least he called them out on their B.S. claim that writing guitar solos into the songs "dated" them. Kirk said *not* including solos dated the songs too... to this period, when bands like Godsmack and Slipknot decided metal was cooler if it was all drop-D riffs, no solos. That said, it was very interesting to see their songwriting process. Especially for that album, as that platter was sold back to CD warehouse two days after I bought it. Bob Rock is such a yes-man suck up to those guys it's not even funny. "Yeah, James that riff is great, I've never heard anything like it before in my life! Wow what fantastic lyrics, you are so complex! blah blah blah" Give me Load any day over St. Anger, patron saint of suckage.

Ben Folds - B*tches Ain't $#@& ...all the homies used to tell me that she wasn't no good but i'm the maniac in black, mr. snoopy's wood...

It's true. As long as the expectation of gifts and cards and flowers is there, men, as a gender, have to play along. At least there's a bit of history behind V-Day, as Vash detailed. As opposed to "Sweetest Day," a manufactured holiday which I hear is not even prevalent in other states in the U.S. I work with a man from Oklahoma who says he'd never heard of it before he moved to Ohio.

Now don't get me wrong, we'd still love to spend the day together like the last few years, but it just wasn't possible this year. We're both still less than a year into our jobs and can't exactly take off for a day. It sucks, but there's really nothing I can do about it. We get to hang out on weekends, when we're both off, and that's okay for now. It was rough at first, coming from college where we'd see each other every day, but we're doing all right. My point was this: Every Saturday is special, because I get to see her. I don't need Hallmark to tell me what day I should feel like I'm in love.

Good on you! I wasn't even able to spend Valentine's with my woman, as my job required me to work all afternoon and evening, and her job required her to work all morning and afternoon, and we currently live a few hours apart. We both agree that it's a pretty dumb holiday anyway, and I can usually pull off the "How can I love you more this one day than any other day of the year," which doesn't work with most women. So grand V-Day total this year: approx. $4.79 Not too shabby! Much better than the last few years (same girl), with dinner, flowers, gifts, the occasional hotel room.

Tom Waits is in Mystery Men?

Yeah, the Money-man! I saw him play a Rib Burnoff in a mall parking lot a few years ago. Oh how the mighty have fallen. Dennis DeYoung from Styx played the next night, totally owning Mr. "Two Tickets to Paradise." At least DeYoung played that show like he was playing to a stadium, not just a few hundred drunk Ohioans covered in barbeque sauce. Edit: Yeah, that's what I meant. Clumsy sentence. If they wanted it to sound like Husker Du all they had to do was just add a two-second snare drum intro. I had a buddy who used to tell a joke when he was riding in the car. He'd drum his fingers on the steering wheel quickly and then ask his passengers "What's that?" When they expressed confusion he would answer: "The beginning of every song on Candy Apple Gray."

Yeah, the acoustic stuff was pretty cool. Holiday song and Caribou were especially awesome. Did he say he wanted Caribou to sound like Husker Du? Because I don't think the final version did not sound anything at all like Husker Du.

Finally rented Sin City. Fantastic. I watched parts of it twice. Maybe it's just because I love the whole "film noir" thing. Must have come from all the detective novels I used to read. Did it win any awards? Because if it didn't, well, my faith in cinema is shaken. Shaken, not stirred.

We held hands in the temple, but we had no wedding day Now she sends me perfumed letters and I throw them all away A buddy just gave me Frank Black Francis.... what do you think of that stuff? I like the horns added on the new Holiday Song. I also like the new Into the White. It'll take a few more listens to form a more cohesive opinion on some of that stuff.

I never got a cell phone until I got a job and an apartment, and that's worked out well for me. I also highly recommend headsets, and not just for driving. I can make a sandwich, do laundry or play video games while talking to people, and without getting a stiff neck. I don't have a land line. A lot of people my age that are just moving into the working world are going that route. I just figure, if you're going to have the thing with you at all times then why would you pay an extra bill for an extra phone line? Also, I'm just plain cheap. As evidenced by by lack of cable TV or Internet as well as a land line. It was odd in college, when everyone else had one and I didn't, but that had its advantages. Like when a boss calls you to come into work early but can't reach you because you've "been in class" or "out running." That's worth being socially out of touch. Besides, I usually knew what bar to find my friends at, anyway.

My user name is a tribute to the only pitcher in major league baseball history with both the name and the demeanor necessary to be a Sith Lord.

"It's indie rock and roll for me."

Lovin' the new avatar, KQD. Bob Dylan - Changing of the Guards

Traditional sitcoms bore me. They've all been done before. Everyone Loves Raymond? Come on. More like "Everybody thinks Raymond is mediocre." Family Guy Aqua Teen Hunger Force Sealab 2021 I enjoyed Seinfeld and Frasier while they were on, although I lost interest in Frasier after a few years.

Yessssssssss. (Johnny) Mnemonic devices rule.

Cake - Hem of Your Garment

Lepidoptera.... you clever fox, you! I can't believe I remembered what that means - I haven't taken a biology class since high school. I always preferred Coleoptera myself.... because I'm such a big Beatles fan! Kingdom, phylum, class, order, family genus, species.... did I get it right?

Wow, this is getting pretty bad. Soooooo.... how bout that comedy? I hear it's funny stuff.

Honestly, that's what I hear too. When I'm at work, I just post songs that are running through my head, or that I just heard in the car. Buffalo Tom - Dry Land