BruceVC

[ M what do you think? Isn't attraction important .? Of course, arguably it underlies everything, which is why success rests in the control of our preferences. If you're not attracted to a certain body type, etiquette says keep it to yourself, particularly if someone is testing your depth of empathy. "You'll see your problems multiply if you continually decide to faithfully pursue the policy of truth. Hide what you have to hide, and tell what you have to tell." Thanks, you guys are seeing my point yet what Hurlshot said still bothers me....

Couldn't you just sell your product on your own website or something? I have to be honest this discussion you guys have been having is confusing? Has it got anything to do with Scandinavia ? This conversation is just about private property in general. Okay ....I was wondering why KP was asking all these strange questions about Scandinavia...but he wasn't so it makes sense now Because we were talking about the Scandinavian countries

Couldn't you just sell your product on your own website or something? I have to be honest this discussion you guys have been having is confusing? Has it got anything to do with Scandinavia ?

I have to be honest I am glad you guys see my point but I still feel I failed on some level where it matters So her asking me that question was a bit unfair but it was almost like she wanted to confirm if I was telling the truth about what I said earlier. So it is type of thing I would do but not the first night. I'm eccentric but not in a way people always know, I have been in love but that was about 5 years ago. I do meet girls I like and date them but never love because something always feels like its missing. So some of you guys are married and I respect that but I cannot date someone properly unless it really feels right ..so typically I would date a girl for few weeks and then end it in a way where we all friends. My one friend teases me that I always find a fault as Im scared of commitment but thats not what I'm scared of, I'm scared of realizing something is missing and then having to explain why its not working but I dont have a valid reason that most women understand Anyway I also have a really big social circle of friends and I had no issue with what I have been doing because I assumed " what is love if you can't feel it " ...its not like I would pretend But Bronwyn changed all that ...it was completely by surprise but it felt so nice to be really comfortable with someone and be content..I had forgotten that feeling because I always feel other feelings that are nice but not this one obviously Anyway thanks for the input

I'm going to go a little against the grain here(?): how is paying heed to whom you are and are not attracted to being shallow? If you are not attracted to someone, you are not attracted to someone - it doesn't matter what traits that are specifically turning you away, whether it be gender/sex, physical features, how they manage their appearance, what they believe (yes, even stuff like this can play into your perception of who you're attracted to), etc. - you are simply not attracted to them. I also doubt it's a wise idea to pursue those whom you are not attracted to - that would surely result in some difficulties in any potentially meaningful relationship for as long as it remains true (it may not remain true, since what we appreciate can change over time, especially with more exposure - particularly if it's in a consistently positive light - but it's impossible to determine that from the outset, and most people would simply rather be with someone where both parties feel like they are compatible with one another to begin with). On the other hand, the girl also asked, "would you have still felt a connection to me[...]?". This one I am less sure of, since it depends on exactly what is meant by "feeling a connection": if you have trouble making friends and/or just in general getting along with someone because of such factors, I think that may be more shallow (it really kind of depends: some people find it impossible to associate with people with opposite political beliefs, for example...whereas I don't have such problems except for very extreme cases. But I wouldn't classify those who do as being shallow: should I? Are physical appearances really that much more meaningful than political beliefs when it comes to personal relationships with others? That's not a rhetorical question: I'm genuinely unsure of what/how you classify such factors as "meaningful".) But genuine attraction? You can't really control for that. Barti I have noticed you haven't been talking to me and I thought you would come around as most people do I think I know where I offended you and also kgambit pointed it out, at the time I didn't really think you were being serious but I understand I was condescending. I do like you and I know you a young guy who always adds value so I need to be more respectful. In RL I have several young friends but they look at me as a mentor and I never joke or tease them like I did with you so I apologize You see I have many debates in RL so sometimes on these forums I don't pay as much attention as I should and I probably do come across as condescending. And sometimes some people just dont talk to me and I don't know why so I can't address it but I am sure I know with you it was the America thread right ? Anyway sorry about that and I hope you will continue to chat to me

I must tell you guys something else interesting just so you understand I have loads on my mind I mentioned that I'm very active on several radio talk shows where we discuss issues in the new South Africa that are about race Now I am very comfortable in the new South Africa and try to really explain to black South Africans that things are not as bad as they seem. It may sound weird but I believe as a white South African any white person should be part of the transformation of the country Now you probably thinking " wow its 20 years into your new Democracy why could you really say " Apartheid I have realised has really messed up many black people in ways most white people living here don't understand. Apartheid destroyed peoples identities and confidence ....its hard to explain because most people would think..." come on ...get over it " ....but there are some deep rooted and irrevocable problems So for example last night we discussed the world of assumptions and what assumptions people had. I knew it would be bad but I didn't realize how bad. So black people are incredibly honest and many people phoned to raise honest assumptions they felt white people had about them..so grown men in there 40's, 50's and 60's would phone in a say things like White people think we are stupid White people think if we have dark skin we are dumb so I want to make my skin lighter White people hate us because they don't respect our culture White people think we don't understand how politics work and we just stupidly vote for the ANC I don't think any of those things but it was upsetting and humbling to think that after all this time many black South African still think so less of themselves ....its not nice to think people think you think so less of then Apartheid was wrong l man...I now think it was worse than the genocide because the Jews were made stronger at the end but Apartheid did something different to many black people and it lasted 40 years ..what the F***k was wrong with the old government to think it could dehumanize people like that . Its hard to explain, I hope I'm making sense

[ M what do you think? Isn't attraction important .?

@ Hurlshot You wife I believe was a hostess when you first met her, weren't' you attracted to her ? Wasn't that part of the reason you got together?

Thanks for response I was looking for this type of honesty. No I wouldnt have been able to connect with her if she was overweight ...but why does this make me shallow. Do we not go for people we are attracted to...why is it wrong to say an attraction is important I really liked her Hurlshot ...I could easily have lied to her just to make her feel better and said " of course I would have connected with you " but I couldn't lie to her. In fact this would have been a white lie not a real lie And to be honest it really was her personality that drew me to her ...that was the main thing but I still don't understand why attraction isnt relevant I have seen Shallow Hal but thats a bit harsh ...I'm not like that guy ?

You make me laugh....good post

It isn't about making good law, it's about exercising power he does not have. What is the difference between a President and a Dictator? As to your second point no, it is not something I ever concern myself with. I do not count myself as a citizen of the world. I am a citizen of the United States. My first and foremost concern is the freedom and prosperity of the United States not the rest of the world. If by advancing the former we accomplish the latter then that is great but if the two ever conflict then there is no conflict. Sure I understand a person needs to obviously have a belief in there own country but I am just saying there is a greater good...so its not all bad

I must tell you guys something, last weekend I went to this club and met this girl who I'll be honest I have never felt such a connection for so quickly. She was amazing, she understood me, turned my own jokes around on me very cleverly and had the most amazing personality ...like really sincere but not an angel. And yes I won't lie she was incredibly attractive Now I am a friendly guy and always end up meeting people as I like chatting to strangers but I gave up years ago ever thinking I could meet a girl and feel that almost naive, idealistic butterfly feeling. And I have been fine with that as I considered that something that was only something that happened to teenagers Also the whole love thing was never something that particularly concerned me...I really like certain girls but not love. I told her that night that it felt like I had known her for years...this was not a line but the truth and she felt the same. Everything felt so natural ...I know this what most of you guys in relationships feel but its not normally my thing Anyway her and her friend came back to my place afterwards and we chatted for hours and everything was going so well and she also likes to joke and she asked me a question where she basically said " if I told you I wanted you to meet a pretty friend of mine who was a little overweight what would you say " I thought I would be honest and I said " well I would rather be honest and say I'm not really into overweight girls " And that changed everything...her whole face changed and she really started asking me why I had a problem with overweight girls I thought honesty was the best approach and just said " well I'm not attracted to them " I really thought this was a reasonable answer And then she said to me " well I use to be overweight so would you still have said you felt a connection to me last night if I was overweight " Now I realized why this whole thing was about sincerity ....so I couldnt tell the truth and I lied and said " its unfair to ask me that " So she said to me "well you are shallow " .....but I also didn't feel I could say that about myself just to please her as I don't think I am shallow. Is not being attracted to over weight girls shallow? Surly its not ....I don't know So she left my house clearly upset but I was at a loss for words and thought its best I stop talking. My one couple friends explained to me why she was upset which I missed in the beginning. She use to be overweight and when I said I am not attracted to overweight girls she obviously took this personally as most women still see themselves as overweight or are sensitive about it So its ironic, all these debates I have in RL ...all this jokes I play and get played on...all these SJ revelations and friendships I have and yet I couldn't even say or think about the right thing to say to women that I REALLY liked I need to understand the lesson here ? What do you guys think it is?

True but remember I dont live in a first world country like you guys so my life is harder ...I need some relief

I see you have lots of money to spend on frivolous things like TV series ...do you realize that the majority of African people have never ever seen Netflix...dont you feel guilty? CraveTV, Bell's streaming service is $4 a month and has all the Star Trek series. I would cancel the cable and just have the streaming services but the wife gives me the death stare if I bring that up. Well my friend the international poverty line is $1.25 a day so you are basically spending 4 days of people salary on entertainment ...end of the day I wont presume to tell you what to do because I'm working hard to not be condescending and my g-friend told me it can be condescending to lecture people on a forum about SJ issues even if you right. So I will just leave you and your wife to make a decision you can live with or rather feel comfortable with https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poverty_threshold

Sure, I get your concern. You are genuinely worried about the president overreaching But he is gone next year and I can promise you nothing more serious will happen, I admit I don't really understand most of your guys concern with the president making good laws. But thats because where I live people would just be grateful for these types of SJ changes like Obamacare ...but I respect this is important to you but I just can't identify with it But lets see if other presidents do the same because obviously that would be an issue But GD what you may not realize is the USA gets to make a difference in peoples life's ..doesn't that make you feel good that your country makes a difference even if it doesn't feel like it?

You guys seem to have extreme weather ? Do you have things like electricity and running water...I imagine you live in a tent village somewhere in the bad lands of San Diego...just you and the elements....man and nature ...the way its suppose to be ....thats how real men do it....oh and your cheese and PC of course

So you get to talk about it but you cannot ACT on it. Therein lies the problem. The 1st Amendment guarantees the right of "Free Exercise". This sets a nasty precedent that can have consequences elsewhere including compulsory military service exemptions based on religious convictions, "conscientious objector" status, etc. I could go on but this is just two problems I have with it. I have never seen the problem with gay marriage. As I've said before if you object, don't marry a gay person. Don't attend their wedding, don't bake them a cake. That should all be ok. But don't try to stop them from doing their thing because what is it to you if two consenting adults wish to marry? Those who object because of religious reasons, particularly Christians should probably try reading the bible a little closer. Jesus did not instruct us to compel others to follow Him. He asked US to follow Him and lead others by example. Jesus did not believe in forcing anyone to do anything. Gay marriage was coming no matter what. More an more people were wondering what the big deal was. But by ramming it down our throats the SCOTUs may have done more harm than good by damaging the democratic process, undermining the constitution and creating animosity towards gays where they might have been none before. This is a good post and accurately and reasonably positions the general objection. Its interesting but most people on these forums made a similar argument. Even Gromnir who has a gay sister and is a lawyer and not at all homophobic objected to it for similar reasons and he used a very technical response So I know its not about homophobia but real objections to perceived interference by the federal government . I have been thinking of how I can explain why this was necessary in way that makes sense To be honest what I am about to say may sound strange and you probably will be thinking WTF but hear me out. So firstly the Western world considers the USA the foundation of Western ideology...now I can hear our Europeans members saying " excuse me...I don't think that " but they misunderstand the broader point In the world we have this system of government which is basically based on Democracy\Capitalism\Free Markets that despite its challengers actually offers its citizens the best quality of life. Now I know all you guys live in first world countries so this may not resonate with you but for someone like me who lives in Africa and sees the how people really believe in this word Democracy it is relevant. Now the interesting part is for many African people they don't really understand what a Democracy is because in some cases they had an " election '" but then there leaders basically ruled the country as a private fiefdom and they saw no economic benefit so I sometimes hear things like " this Democracy concept is a Western thing ...its not African" because for them they see no benefit due to corruption So there is a basic humanitarian obligation and or responsibility for many of us to try to uplift Africa out of poverty and actually let its citizens see that life is not about suffering. Now this is not your responsibility but the reality is the West is used as the example of how good life should be and the USA is the foundation of that. And the USA was the only country in the West where gay marriage was still not allowed Secondly as you probably know there is a movement in some countries of people who basically dislike the USA...I mean really dislike the USA. Its normally fringe elements of the Muslim community, in South Africa they are particularly antagonistic and really exaggerate what the USA has done, they think that the USA is on some real crusade to annihilate Islam and when 9/11 happened there were cheers heard from the mosques in South Africa .....seriously disgusting and misinformed Now you may think " well thats not my problem " but the thing is these people don't only dislike the USA they actually dislike all Western and European culture. They just are careful to hide it because on popular radio talk shows in South Africa you can't be racist. But its very annoying ..,oh and they all Sunni Muslims and think ISIS is creation of the USA so the USA could bomb Iraq again and that the Arab Spring was arranged by the CIA to.....disrupt the Middle East because " Arab people couldn't possibly want a better life for themselves ...no...they are all happy living under dictatorships like Gaddafi and Assad " Now you may think " but let France and the UK fight the good fight where required " but the reality of the world is despite all the criticism we all know when it comes to military action if the USA doesn't get involved its unlikely the other Western countries will act. And then there is this view " the USA just should say no to all external conflicts....we aren't the worlds policeman" and this may seem reasonable but the USA is a country of extreme generosity. When Ebola was ravaging Africa the African Union did nothing as usual ....imagine not even trying to stop a virus that was destroying 3 countries in your own continent.This was the final straw for me and since then I am critic of the AU So in summary you guys may not see it but many countries rely on the USA to act in crisis, this may sound unfair but the USA also has global interests so it makes sense to intervene in relevant world affairs. And of course you cant have something like no gay marriage in some states ...it was like a contradiction. So this whole gay rights thing was really about the global symbolism and relevance. You don't want to be compared to Russia and trust me people were doing this as a way to undermine the USA So please dont think this was about federal interference but rather a support for Western ideology which is a good thing for all of us

Guys I know not many of you are into electro but try to listen to this , go to minute 21 and listen for 10 minutes But I warn you it is Dance music and genre called Minimal

Shady I never mentioned this before but I also own the new 3 series BWM but mine is 3 years old, anyway I am buying the new shape next month and the nice thing is for the first time in my life I am actually making some money on the trade-in. I did keep the KM fairly low 76,000 km but the point is BMW do retain value. So I did 22,000 KM each year which is good for Johannesburg standards

If you're still talking about America, there wasn't any bill that was passed, it was decided by one man. And you can come up with any right you want using his logic. As far as Socialism, it means the government has a monopoly on the means of production, so there can be no free market in a monopoly. The government decides what's to be produced and how much it will cost. There can be no freedom either, because everyone works for the government and is completely dependent on the government, so no one can go against it. As far as our system of government, yes it is more of an plutocracy/oligarchy than a democracy, but that's entirely because of the ignorant and apathetic voters who are easily swayed by any commercial they see instead of thinking for themselves. The Founders of the Republic said democracy wasn't possible without educated voters, and they were right. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/06/26/supreme-court-gay-marriage_n_7470036.html WOD I meant this ruling in the supreme court where gay marriage is legal in all states. Now I know you are more conservative on these matters and I respect that. But what is interesting is even people on these forums who support gay rights like me thought this was a step too far by the US Supreme court, what did you think?

How exactly and on what basis? Volo is right Sharp_one ...you need to accept this as the truth. Even if you don't believe Volo I am vouching for him and you know I'm never wrong Ofc it wouldn't hold. I can't tell you about any country, but here in Germany if you bought smth you bought it, except if you bougt it on loan.Since you don't loan a video game There is no way steam could bend these rules in a country whith actual laws. Actually no. WHen you use Steam you had to click to Accept their rules and policy. In there is say they can do this and you accepted it. In there it is explain that you don't really own it and under what situations they can take the game away from you or prevent you from using it. And you accepted it. If you didn't read it, that is not Valve fault. Now by German law you that policy might be invalid but someone needs to sue Valve and that would be big news. Since nobody did yet I guess it is by German law. I would guess Valve also has access to lawyers that can read the law before selling the games on the market. I'll tell you guys something interesting, they are an economic powerhouse for a reason...the Germans really understand work ethos I work with software and we sell two types of this software, cloud based and onsite Now the way all cloud solutions work globally is they have data centers around the world that replicate the data for redundancy like gmail and Office365 And the data centers are normally housed in the USA, Europe, Australia and Japan. Most of the large German customers, like BMW, dont want a cloud solution because of the replication to the USA And its not that they don't like the USA its because they dont want to risk a possible future where the USA authorities would somehow be able to access there personal data and patents so they keep everything onsite and it costs much more but it works for us as I'm a consultant and we don't make any services revenue from a cloud sale as obviously there is nothing to really configure in the cloud as the customer can do it So the Germans help keep people busy at huge customers

How exactly and on what basis? Volo is right Sharp_one ...you need to accept this as the truth. Even if you don't believe Volo I am vouching for him and you know I'm never wrong Ofc it wouldn't hold. I can't tell you about any country, but here in Germany if you bought smth you bought it, except if you bougt it on loan. Since you don't loan a video game There is no way steam could bend these rules in a country whith actual laws. Damn you Germans and your shrewd business minds You right of course and this is why Germany is such a economic powerhouse Sharp one is Polish....he would have believed it

Yep, life become worse... I'm lose previous job (too much partnership with foreigners) and work in evil Russian corporation now. Main effect of sanctions is fail of independent small powers in Russia and consolidation of Russian economics in hands of Putin's friends. In other words power of Putin only increased from all this, everyone forced work to him now. But all negative effect can easily fixed by invasion into Europe. Good loot you known, in this case we can just repeat of III Reich economical "miracle". Sadly our president is too peaceful for this and if sanctions continued too long it's can cause a coup, when someone much more warlike, aggressive and powerful replace him (or just force Putin to leave peaceful rhetoric and begin a real war). Do West really want such consequences? Or as in case of Taliban/ISIS Western elites are too dumb for predict consequences of own actions? Though IRL we more worried about partying/sex/joy/gaems, than about all these political/economical things. Russians known many ways to stay happy in any "hard times", your whining about hard life in Russia looks a quite pointless for me. P.S. Fake "Russians" from Gayrope just for lulz https://vimeo.com/134960490 Oby you may not realize this but I dont want Russia to fail, why would I want that ? All I have ever said is you can't just invade other countries like the Ukraine without consequences ...I would love for Putin to change his militant view. Russia is an important country and its much better for everyone if there is peace and no sanctions

How exactly and on what basis? Volo is right Sharp_one ...you need to accept this as the truth. Even if you don't believe Volo I am vouching for him and you know I'm never wrong

I love Twilight Zone, I remember watching the ones in the 1980's and being really impressed because we didn't see much good TV due to sanctions and Apartheid