LadyCrimson

Well, as they say, you definitely can't win if you don't play. I stopped even thinking about it early on, when they changed the way the (Calif.) lottery worked (and multiple versions/winning pools) and the odds went up/against even more ridiculously - like maybe from 1:15million to 1:40million. When it first started/the period Gromnir mentions, it used to seem like someone got the 5 numbers and won a "jackpot" (3-8 million+) almost every week or two. When that isn't happening it's hard to even pretend anymore. *wink* I think I also bought some scratch off tickets super early on when they were a dollar, but never again. Last time I looked I noticed $5 scratchers and the possible prize amount for that one and lol'd. I will however put a lot of nickels and quarters (do they even still have nickel slots? Probably not) in a slot machine while in Vegas once in a blue moon. At least I feel like I'm "playing" something that way.

Today we bought a new fridge, which we've needed a while but now more than ever with what feels like a 3 tons of produce in it. There may be no real diet restrictions but the past couple days it's a strange confusion like I'm almost forcing myself to eat 3 small meals (plus a couple healthy snacks like an apple) but it's not enough calories. But if I have more fruit or the cracky type breads that's like eating little stones or almost anything much over that amount of food, the blood sugar goes up over 250 again (that's very high, btw) and I feel a bit oogy (get very thirsty again, other mild symptoms). Yet don't really have a mental appetite/can't eat a lot at once at the moment. Do I make 8oz of a vitamin/low protein/non-fat milk shake? But that's extra milk sugar and others. Do I eat a peach, has fiber/slower to digest supposedly (then crap snacks anyway)? Eat a small bit o' meat AND half an apple? Just inject a small amount more insulin before your next main dose? Generalized plate rule: divide by quarters and fill each quarter with the different groups (vegies, fruits, protein, etc). Already learned some new tasty veggie recipes. Tossed out any old or junk. Anyway, meal planning overall not hard. But trying to figure out how to get enough daily calories without spiking blood sugar to stupid levels again, at least in these early stages of "recovering" and sussing out tolerances, not so much. Does Kaiser's kitchen deliver ready made meals and can I just eat that? They made decent (small sized) burgers and meatloaf and soups....I'll pay extra, Kaiser. Pretty please?

More or less, so far. Right now it all still feels kooky from the IV mixers and then now being removed from said mixers (I had 6 constant IV drips at one point) but I certainly feel tons better than I did some days ago! I think I remember that time period and you talking about diets. They didn't remove it. After a lot of mucking about, since my test results always seem to confuse docs (I'm lucky that way, haha) they classified me as heavily Type2 diabetic. I was asked so many times if I had a drinking problem because of the pancreas aspect and apparently the first 24 hrs hubby had to keep explaining "she doesn't avoid drinking because she had a past problem, she just doesn't drink/never has." (well, outside of some times 30 years ago) So in the end they don't have a final chicken/egg answer. I'd guess Type2 for some years that had no dramatic symptoms (as mentioned I'm not a big "doctor checkup" person) then mild losing-function pancreas symptoms (fatigue, aches and pains "I'm just getting old") then finally several progressively worse acute attacks over the past year or so. So initially I'm on Type2 regimen - 2 insulin per day. Hoping can get it down to at least one instead. I have no specific diet restrictions outside of the very important portion size aspect and not overbalancing any food/sugar/carb groupings too much any one meal/day. So got lucky there I guess. EDIT: Because they don't allow vistor access at all at the moment, hubby said trying to get docs on the phone once a day to get information about even what they were doing to me was really difficult. He was pretty freaked out. EDITEDIT: Hubby even .... cleaned the house!!

What kind of rig do you play that best game in the world, on? I wonder if the sprites would be too speedy on my main rig, now. One day I'll install DK1 and perhaps finally I will no longer be able to hand grab lvl10 imps effectively.

Death Stranding looks great on the 4k PC. Not much else reason to have bought it twice. Except that I love the damn game. It's like an open world game of meditation. Oh sure sure, there's a bit o' fighting and huuuuge chunks of story scenes but most of it - it's still so strange how delivering packages and planning out your travel structures and routes for efficiency is so ... calming.

Do you bruise easily? Don't like needles? Don't end up here, then. Also, if you don't like hospitals and are convinced you'll be fine in a few days, maybe don't listen to yourself. ...too tired for long details. Was another bout of the back/stomach pain/puking, weight loss etc. Twas acute pancreatitis. I'm at home now. Supposedly I was "close" to dying (triglycerides were through the roof). If hubby hadn't decided I was being too loopy and walked me to the car and hospital I guess I might've. I did have some mighty fine visual and mental hallucinations tho (no fake ppl inserted, sadly). Would make a good paranoia film script, those. Edit: With covid, not a hospital-great time to be generally sick. They checked for 4 or 5 viruses too, zero patient visitors allowed etc. It was interesting

^ When you see ID4-2 and keep waiting for him to make another big speech but then ... They cancelled our local parade and city fireworks display this year, ofc. We could personally partially see them simply standing in our backyard but most people can't.

^ Chemo treatment makes me think of Rheumatoid arthritis? Hubby's cousin got that in in her 30's and she went "downhill" fast, too. She had to get replacement knees five or six years later just to keep mobile. :/

Watched a little film called Searching, from a couple years ago I think. Stars John Cho. Daughter goes missing and looking for clues to find her. A film I've meant to watch for ages and never got around to it. It's entirely shown "on-screen" - pc monitors with "facetime", chat rooms, videos, text msgs, search engines etc as the father looks for clues on daughters laptop and communicates with others etc. They used the tactic pretty well - could have been boring but it's not. The ending was a little too quick and pat but overall effective for its method.

Menopause or other hormones-going-wild potentials could all be playing a factor for me I suppose - although I think most women report weight gain re: pre/menopause, not weight loss. Still, I could be some exception. I dunno. And ofc it's harder/more work (that I don't do) to maintain muscle weight as I age. I've tried pre-bottled Ensure and they're ok but if you use them a lot, price wise they feel like such a rip off (or any similar product). Powder mixes are just ick. Better when you use milk vs. water but still ick. Can't (frequently) use fruit juices for blended stuff. Too much acid.

I don't know if it's called Live but I went from free Hulu to no-commercial monthly Hulu, then dropped it all because really I almost never even open/use Hulu. Also, I hate their (PS4) UI interface. Hate hate hate it.

Dog was best/cutest thing about FO4. Especially the goggles. Lazy week or two. More specifically, grumpy down in the dumps. Just moody cyclic stuff. Lot of mobile games, naps and forcing myself to eat something. Last time I got on the scale it said 122lbs or so (6lbs loss?). Which wouldn't bother me if I was losing it for better reasons. Edit: Below 118 would be getting kind of underweight for me. Anyone have ez higher calorie (that isn't ice cream, ha) food to buy/make for when one has no appetite let alone motivation for cooking? Fruit and bagels has not enough calories apparently. EditEdit: rice in not ginormous servings apparently doesn't have enough calories either

I do Amazon Prime, HBO/Starz through Amazon Prime, a couple other small streaming thru Amazon (like Smithsonian and some classic old b&w series channel) Viki (Korean), Netflix. Still way cheaper than the Comcast cabletv option. Not that I like the separation and monthly fee very much, either (edit - although I do prefer no commercials thus willing to pay for that...) But I've also stopped caring if I miss some new show because I'm not subbed to something. In my case, if I'm not subbed, I don't care enough anyway.

Watched an anime film called A Whisker Away. Because, cats. It's a cute youth fantasy story about a highschooler who can turn into a cat and uses it to escape her family life issues and be close to her crush. Lessons will be learned and all that stuff. Ending is a little lackluster maybe, but it's fairly charming, for the type of genre.

With hubby home almost all the time for a while now, I've come to realize that (on his own, not in "work mode") he does not converse. He announces. "Going to such and such store." "I finally got the network taken care of." "I'm going to mow the lawn before it gets windy." "Think I'll make some sausage brats." This is the equivalent of someone who always announces that they're going to the bathroom, only it applies to everything. And then he stares at me like I'm supposed to respond/converse with anything more than "ok" and seems kind of disappointed if I don't. Now this isn't a complaint - I'm not much of a talker either, tho I do have talkative bursts (hubby does no such thing). I simply really never thought about it before. It's kinda funny. Edit: I guess I need to find more creative ways to respond to such announcements.

My Time At Portia is on Steam-sale for $12. I'm half-interested in the game but not sure I want the grind these days. But for that price seems like a good time to check it out a bit or at least have it as rainy day material. Anyway if you were on the fence about it for ages like me, it's cheap right now. I'd buy it on GoG but one, it's not on sale there, and two, apparently they have mostly dropped supporting the GoG version months ago.

^ I recall being 10-ish and sorta liking smoked oysters in tins for some strange reason (maybe because I sneaked them from mom's pantry so it was like "forbidden"), but I think I wouldn't like them at all now. Sardines (in a tin/can) are just gross. I keep trying to take a picture of my soup that I've been eating for lunch a lot, but the tablet indoor pic quality makes it look really unappetizing so I gave up. Mostly living on that and fried rice in the evening (just a little olive oil, no egg, small pork bits, with tons of bok choy in it, then kim chi mixed into it). Wondering if I'm getting enough calories tho, since I stopped eating large portions of anything. Just not hungry/fill up fast most of the time. Haven't even gained the weight back that I lost while sick, heh. I tried adding some walnuts as the snackfood but eh.

^ Mortal Engines had some interesting concepts but yeah ... it kind of fell on its face. We watched MI:Fallout last night. It felt like one of those old-school (sorta) popcorn movies, where any logic or realism (even in the sense of the film's world) is tossed out the window and you're just along to enjoy the crazy camera action sequences. Especially that helicopter chase, LOL. Like when you laugh at the computer virus solution (among other things) in ID4 yet still enjoy it. Also knew the bad guy soon as they introduced him. It was the mustache. There's less humor then I recall in the first couple (I haven't watched all of them) and the plot is such that you hardly have to pay attention. I watched it while also playing slots on my tablet. Anyway, to me it feels like an absurd B movie with A action. I hear there's going to be two more for the series soon (filmed back to back). I admire Cruise's physical dedication to his films (stuntwork etc) but maybe the series should end there. Isn't he late 50's? Although, I find him sorta more humanly believable than someone like Stallone for some reason. More everyman, less cartoon, I guess. Best thing about MI (all variations) is still those first notes of the theme, tho. ------------------- Edit: An original series theme and opening. If you don't blink you can see George Takei (Sulu) at around 13 seconds in.

Sigh.

Stardew Valley - maybe years later I'll finally check out new stuff/features ... how do you play or even use this freaking watercan, again? What was the best crops for making money early on again? Looks good on 4k TV tho. :P Diablo3 - why is there 300ish items in mail from seasonal when I haven't played since Ssn16? I thought they would all have poofed by now. I wanted to play, not sort through massive inventory and mule accounts for two hours. Wait how does Adventure mode work again? BL3 - new Takedown looks tough, and 40-60 minutes to get through (no EZ farm runs) I think I won't be doing that except maybe on M1. Yellowcake somewhat nerfed already, especially, I think, its longer ranged distance/damage (Tyrene-boss seemed to take way less dmg. from it). Still works good close up/mobs. They updated some SMG's with more damage - ofc it's all the SMG's no one uses and likely still won't use...

^ I keep staring at that and wondering what weather person thought it would be cute to misspell Crystal Ball. At least, that's what it seems like to me. ;) Body pillow is great and all but lately I need more daily mid-upper back support so backpack-like back-brace it is. Bought 3 different ones. The one with no upper-waist/ribcage belt is useless, I don't think it would even help shoulder slump much. One was too large with back rib pieces too long (and it's too small for hubby, so also useless). The 3rd was just right for me. I could even sleep in it. Will help back stay in better position while exercising/stretching too. Feels much better for sitting/doesn't hurt. Yay, more relief. Only good thing about getting old is I have (some) money. The rest of it all sucks.

I make the best pork sausage, bokchoy, potato and leek soup ever. It's summery and I'm out of tangerine popsicles. There are two large white herons roosting in the sycamore tree over the driveway. Sometimes they sit on our roof in the evening and stare at us. I don't know why they're doing it, it seems odd, but it's cool.

When you can never seem to find a "new" movie you like anymore, so you go back to some old faves. Glory, Rob Roy, Ed Wood, Cool Hand Luke. I still find the end sword fight in Rob Roy one of the best. Not only the camera work/choreography of it but the fact there is no music/score, which imo highlights the tension. Could of used a bit more wide angles but other than that. And Ed Wood, the scene with the fake octopus fight gets me every time.

Watched three episodes of Space Force. Fantastic overall cast they assembled. That's about all I can say about it. Most jokes misfire, the pacing is off (feels way too "try hard" like an uncomfy SNL sketch) and I laughed not once. Although at first I thought that might be because it's a form of deadpan (?) that I just don't like (I was one of the few who didn't "get" or find The Office very funny, as well). But this time I don't think it's just me. Anyway, positives were Fred Willard's small bits, Malkovich playing it (sorta) straight, and generally just getting to see so many known faces.