The Funny Things Thread

[Barothmuk]

 

Must be difficult to enjoy a television series as child nowadays. 

[Raithe]

[Gorgon]

The great leader has a message for you

 

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-35239350

[Elerond]

Picture has naked people in it, but I would say that it is not sexual in anyway

 

 

 

Welcome to Finland where weather don't prevent traditional celebrations

[Elerond]

 

Truth why Finn leaves FO and don't feel bad on killing his ex-comrades 

[Raithe]

[rjshae]

[Raithe]

For those Trekkies out there..

 

 

 

Brent Spiner (Data), Scott Bakula (Captain Archer of Enterprise), and Michael Dorn (Worf) in Patrick Stewart's flat. Stewart (Picard) tweets: "My birthday catering company sucks. Do NOT hire these guys... THE WORST."

[Raithe]

[Raithe]

What was your favorite prop or costume from the “Harry Potter” films?

 

 

I love the progression from young actors who are very sweet to adult actors who focus on craft and technicality to older actors who give zero f***s.

Edited January 8, 2016 by Raithe

[Malcador]

[Raithe]

Common SJW phrases translated  (this one's for Bruce) 

 

Have you ever looked at an SJW and wondered “just what is this idiot trying to tell me?” Or, have you perhaps contemplated the intellectual musings of a Tumblrista and wondered “what in the everlasting **** is this person actually saying?”

 

Well, wonder no more. Your friendly neighborhood Lord High Inquisitor of Capitalism has provided these translations from Communese into modern American English. For my friends of British persuasion, just add an occasional pointless “u” into words like color, in order to translate into the Queen’s.

 

1. “Let’s have a Conversation.” The direct translation for this is “your opinion hurts my feelings and you need to change it.” But this fails to capture the essence of the phrase. When an SJW says this, what they really mean is that you have departed from the traditional narrative, and you are being warned that your non-conforming opinion needs to be changed immediately. Failure to do so will result in denunciation and accusations of racism, sexism, etc… Having a conversation means agreeing with the SJW on all particulars.

 

2. “Educate yourself!” Directly translated, this is “I can’t understand why you don’t agree with the accepted narrative.” But again, there are nuances here. This can be considered a final warning before denunciation and attempts to attack your character. The SJW is warning you that there will be consequences if you don’t agree with the politically correct narrative. Perhaps they will try to get you fired, or dox you,  or some other form of unpleasantness. The subtle translation is “obey the dictates of Social Justice or else!”

 

Educate Yourself = Listen & Believe = Turn off your brain so that we can fill it with as much Taco Bell-derived intellectual sewage as humanly possible.

 

3. You are a Racist!” You’re white. And probably male, cis-gendered, and straight. Remember, all white men are racists, and any accusation of racism is prima facie evidence of guilt. Progressive white men can be exempted by proclamation by the SocJus community. But this exemption can be revoked at any time, in which case you revert to being a racist.

 

4. “You’re a Misogynist!” You’re white. And probably male, cis-gendered, and straight. Remember, all white men are sexists, and any accusation of sexism is prima facie evidence of guilt. Progressive white men can be exempted by proclamation by the SocJus community. But this exemption can be revoked at any time, in which case you revert to being a sexist.

 

5. “You’re an Islamophobe!” You have common sense, which is, of course, a violation of accepted SocJus norms. The only sense you are allowed to have is fed to you by the media. When the media tells you Islam is good and Christianity is evil, you must accept this with no further discussion or demands for evidence.

 

6. “I can’t be a racist because racism equals privilege plus discrimination.” This means the SJW is a racist and hates white people. Bahar Mustafa, a woman of Turkish ethnicity famously proclaimed that her Turkish heritage meant that she could never be a racist. My Armenian ancestors would disagree, of course. But college feminists are far more oppressed than people thrown into rail cars, shot, beaten to death, and/or crucified.

 

Totally doesn’t count. Why, look at those Armenians oppressing the poor Turks.

 

7. “That’s Triggering!” Directly translated, this statement means roughly: “waaaaaaaah waaah waaaaaaaaaah!” A more nuanced translation would be “this made me cry, and I will throw a temper tantrum unless you make it go away.”

 

8. “We need a Safe Space!” The SJW wishes to re-institute segregation along racial and ethnic lines. Members of the KKK are currently kicking themselves for not thinking of this idea first. “Damnit,” says the Grand Wizard Dragon of Podunk, “if only we called Jim Crow ‘Safe Spaces for People of Color’ we could have pulled it off…”

 

Don’t worry, I’m sure the guys with torches, crosses, and pointy hats will be happy to provide them for you.

 

9. “Sexuality is Sacred!” When the dog humps the couch and manages to get himself off, you are required to give thanks to the environmentally-friendly, non-judgmental, transsexual, ethnic Goddess of Fedora-wearing neckbeards. Femen protesters, of course, can run around buck naked, touching themselves, and this is no big deal. The SJW is really saying that if you are not an SJW, all sex is rape and therefore you are a rapist. Of course, male SJWs never have sex with women anyway, so de facto, the SJW is saying that all heterosexual activity is rape.

 

10. “This is an example of Rape Culture!” It’s something that normal human beings have been doing since the dawn of time, or creation, or whatever. This may mean having sex, reproducing, looking at attractive members of the opposite sex, etc… Usually, however, this is a specific reference to anything which depicts a beautiful or attractive woman in any way that would interest men. Wearing a bikini on a magazine cover, for instance. A direct translation would be “I saw a woman more attractive than my lard-filled, unshaven rear-end, and this hurts my feelings.”

 

11. “I am oppressed.” Generally uttered by upper-middle class white SJWs, but can occasionally be spoken by wealthy members of other ethnicities. What it really means is “I feel threatened by the peasantry.” It is a variant of the famous phrase attributed to Marie Antoinette: “let them eat cake.”

 

She was a woman, therefore she was more oppressed than the white guy cleaning **** out of the sewer. Let him eat cake.

[ShadySands]

Not really funny but I found it mildly amusing

[Raithe]

[aluminiumtrioxid]

 

Common SJW phrases translated  (this one's for Bruce) 

 

(snip)

 

 

Truly, your wit and originality is staggering.

[Malcador]

Truly, your wit and originality is staggering.

Clear he isn't the author. I am disappointed they left off 'problematic', myself. In terms of buzzwords that one is pretty common..though I guess it is covered by #1 when used by tumblr things.

[Hurlshort]

Considering Raithe pretty much keeps this thread alive, and has posted quite a bit of good stuff, I'll forgive him a stinker or two.  

[Nonek]

Not really funny but I found it mildly amusing

 

Thank you.

[Raithe]

Well the level of smug snark on that did get a bit too much. Which is why I only shared the first 11 translations of the lot.

 

However, while I will say that its bit extreme in the views of Sjw translations in general, I also have to say I have encountered some people who did epitomise that slightly wacky level of meaning when they use those terms.

[Raithe]

[Raithe]

Well, maybe this falls into snark and politics rather than funny..

 

[rjshae]

[rjshae]

[rjshae]

[Guard Dog]

Words cannot describe the awesomeness of this partnership: