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The Patriarchy (no girls allowed!)


Shallow

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  • 4 weeks later...
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I am not sure if it already is here somewhere (if not its shame because this guy clearly speaks for us)

 

I'm the enemy, 'cause I like to think, I like to read. I'm into freedom of speech, and freedom of choice. I'm the kinda guy that likes to sit in a greasy spoon and wonder, "Gee, should I have the T-bone steak or the jumbo rack of barbecue ribs with the side-order of gravy fries?" I want high cholesterol! I wanna eat bacon, and butter, and buckets of cheese, okay?! I wanna smoke a Cuban cigar the size of Cincinnati in the non-smoking section! I wanna run naked through the street, with green Jell-O all over my body, reading Playboy magazine. Why? Because I suddenly may feel the need to, okay, pal? I've SEEN the future. Do you know what it is? It's a 47-year-old virgin sitting around in his beige pajamas, drinking a banana-broccoli shake, singing "I'm an Oscar Meyer Wiene"

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Upstanding and massively engorged members of the Patriarchy.

 

Greetings.

 

Society, the tool we men (manly men doing manly things) have crafted to oppress others and enforce our will upon the world. Women have had no part in shaping it, this is known, as mothers raising children, wives, sisters, daughters they have merely quietly and meekly gone about their business like the pretty little playthings we have designed them to be. Not once in history has there been a strong woman, indeed each and every member of the Patriarchy whom is married knows how weak and feebleminded their brood mares are. Lately however we have been troubled by accussations raised against the society we alone created, and manipulated for our own betterment, and we find them disturbing.

 

Society is our tool, ours alone and we will not have it challenged. Women are powerless against it, they must obey because they are weak willed and weak minded as we rightfully prejudiced members of the Patriarchy know. Beauty and lifestyle magazines, which we created and write, because of...errr...our vast knowledge of women? Anyway the images they show are made by us, censored by us and designed to suppress. Many think we are ignorant of these magazines and womens issues in general, we are not, we control all society and everything in it, nothing is out of our control or made by anybody else. Some think that women should just not buy these things they find so objectionable, or write for them, or publish them. Hah, what fools, they cannot resist for they are weak and must acquire what we have designed.

 

Remember this when you criticise society, it is a construct with a purpose, designed to be perfect in its suppression of women and everybody else. It is not an organic thing, that has grown without control over the years, and has largely been formed by women as much as anybody else. It is our dream made flesh, and it shall not be challenged.

 

Yours despotically.

 

Nonek.

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Quite an experience to live in misery isn't it? That's what it is to be married with children.

I've seen things you people can't even imagine. Pearly Kings glittering on the Elephant and Castle, Morris Men dancing 'til the last light of midsummer. I watched Druid fires burning in the ruins of Stonehenge, and Yorkshiremen gurning for prizes. All these things will be lost in time, like alopecia on a skinhead. Time for tiffin.

 

Tea for the teapot!

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My fellow misogolords, we have a manlection coming up to decide the next prime manister of our glourious manocracy. I'm imploring all of you to vote for Ron Swanson to this high position, and do not consider casting your manvotes behind anyone else.

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