Things every self-respecting man over 30 should have...

[Darth InSidious]

1. A tailored black suit
Plain black/blue suits are for spivs.

 

2. Black dress shoes

This is something worth remarking upon?

 

3. Brown dress shoes
Most men's 'brown' shoes are in fact orange. Orange shoes are for spivs.
 

4. Stocks
I am not sinking my money into something I do not understand and will therefore net me no use, profit, enjoyment or good.

5. A tool kit
I am not a mechanic.

6. A nice wallet

I have one. I use it as my wallet, imaginitively enough.

 

7. Cologne, NOT BODY SPRAY
You too can smell like the sort of arse who wanders around choking everyone else on his affectations of 'manliness'. Literally.

8. A watch
I have a phone for that, and can only read analogue watch-faces with difficulty.

9. A proper bed with proper bedding
Again, this is something exceptional to possess in what way?

10. A flashlight
Got it, never use it, and usually forget I own it.

11. Duct tape
I have no use for it, so no.

12. A weekend bag

If I am going on the sort of weekend that involves packing, I'll take a suitcase.

13. Proper glassware
I have precisely as much glassware as I need, and no more. If you want a ****tail, go and sit in a hotel foyer, and think about your mistakes in life.

14. Grooming kit

I'm a man, not a poodle. Of course I don't own a ****ing grooming kit.

15. Double-hinged wine key
I'm not a waiter.

16. Multiple towels
Again, this has to be put here? As for spa towels, do I look like I run a ****ing spa?

17. A chef’s knife
For my regular masterclass on daytime TV? P*** off.

18. A passport

Was this list written for effeminate troglodytes?

19. A flask

Presumably to hold the spirits I don't drink.

20. Sewing kit
Don't have one of these, though I probably should have something, I admit.

21. An umbrella
I already own a coat.

22. Buy an ironing board, and an iron.
If you own a suit and not an iron/ironing board... good luck with that.

23. Jumper cables

For the car I don't own? Presumably I should keep them in case my guests get so bored of my incessant swanking they need to top themselves conveniently.

 

24. Undershirts
No, I don't own any.

25. Playing cards
Yes, I own a pack. This does not make me a seasoned mark of Monte Carlo's casino-owners.

26. A lint roller
Bought for a pound at the dry cleaner's. As yet unused.

27. A leatherman
No. I don't need to feel big by pulling out a glorified pen-knife in the street so I can nick myself in public.

28. Sunglasses
I have an old, scratched pair, yes. I bought them cheaply and I see no reason to replace them just yet.

29. A record player
I don't have one, but if I ever get one, I can keep it next to the jumper cables, and other junk of no use or value to me.

30. Football/soccer ball/basketball, etc.

Yes, I'll keep materials relating to a subject of less than zero interest to me. Presumably this is "manly".

31. A French press cafetiere

I use it to make myself coffee in the morning.

32. Good socks
I despair.

33. Good underwear
No, I buy deliberately cheap and badly made underwear. It's part of my charmlesss attempt at quirkiness. Like the record-player and the jump cables.

34. A cast-iron skillet
Since my cooking is limited at best, no.

35. Multiple sheet sets
If you don't change your sheets regularly by thirty, you need to rethink some things.

36. A bar set
Extra washing up andor useless clutter. Just what I need.

37. Matching dishes

My crockery is entirely plain, but theoretically yes.

38. A decent car
Since I don't drive, I can gaze lovingly at it, or maybe keep the record-player, jump cables, bar set and other useless rubbish in it.

39. A solid book collection
I possess a large number of books. Some I have read, some I intend to read, and some I use for reference purposes. If you think books are for impressing people, you should try opening one.

40. A decent bottle of booze
Since I scarcely drink, and mainly drink wine when I do, I have no interest in shelling out for one. If the American president comes 'round I'll tell him to **** off. I see and hear altogether too much about him as it is.

Edited October 3, 2013 by Darth InSidious

[Enoch]

As to the list in general, I scoffed at the wrong suit color right at the top, and stopped paying much attention at all after "cologne."  It seems pretty padded with blindingly obvious "stuff to make sure you have when you get your own place" (are there really people who don't own a flashlight?), a few are lousy-internet-advice standards (cast-iron pans are nice and all, but hardly the first/only piece of cookware you should be buying), but the main point seems to be the typical rundown of "things that the editors of GQ (and, not coincidentially, people who advertise in GQ) will tell you are essential to getting laid." 

 

 

That said, I'm a bit puzzled by those of you who profess to not own/use undershirts.  A snugly fitting, 100% cotton undershirt is an amazing garment, in that it helps you both feel warmer on cool days and cooler on warm days (the latter by wicking sweat away from your skin and enabling evaporation).  I wear undershirts beneath anything more complicated than a t-shirt (v-neck, of course). 

[Nepenthe]

Geez, you guys are making me feel like a real tool. In my defence, I WAS a metrosexual lobbyist about six months ago.

 

I think I own like 7 or 8 pairs of shoes.

 

So maybe "was" is more like "am"? :D

 

Counted. 14 pairs. Oops.

[Azdeus]

If you own a toolkit and still need grooming kit, duct tape, chefs knife and a leatherman - you're not worthy of calling yourself a man. Or respectable.

Edited October 3, 2013 by Azdeus

[Walsingham]

 

Geez, you guys are making me feel like a real tool. In my defence, I WAS a metrosexual lobbyist about six months ago.

 

I think I own like 7 or 8 pairs of shoes.

 

So maybe "was" is more like "am"? :D

 

Counted. 14 pairs. Oops.

 

 

You, sir, are a single female lawyer.

[Meshugger]

At the age of 30, little Alexander had conquered the whole known world, but he didn't he a nice suit and a french press so **** that childish loser.

[Nepenthe]

 

 

Geez, you guys are making me feel like a real tool. In my defence, I WAS a metrosexual lobbyist about six months ago.

 

I think I own like 7 or 8 pairs of shoes.

 

So maybe "was" is more like "am"? :D

 

 

Counted. 14 pairs. Oops.

 

You, sir, are a single female lawyer.

Actually, I just treat them really well so they last me ages. A good half of them are hiking/gym/tennis shoes, which I hadn't been counting

[Rosbjerg]

Found this gem.. Pretty much sums it up..

 

How to be Manly

[ShadySands]

Will any watch do?

 

I think I still have a calculator watch from Walgreens in a box somewhere

 

or how about this snazzy Mass Effect watch?

[Lexx]

That watch looks like it is trying way too hard.

[Bos_hybrid]

I would like to understand the reasoning of just one bottle of alcohol in the house? How can you have scotch, vodka, beer, port and tequila in one bottle?

[Malcador]

You like experimentation

[Gromnir]

I don't think anyone is really taking it that serious TN..

 

Don't you only need a passport for international travels? I would assume the vast majority of people don't have one.

 

Point was that I was a little disappointed that the average US citizen apparently didn't "get out" more. It's super important to see the rest of the world and not just your local country/culture.. Even if USA is pretty big - you guys are important, you should be well traveled. I would be disappointed at a European never leaving Europe too.

 

 Why never a watch ?

 

It messes with my head when I check the time too often and if I have a constant reminder on my arm I end up stressing too much about it.. In essence, a watch gives me the sensation of having far far less time.

having spent a fair amount o' time in europe, and a smidgen in asia, we is glad o' our time abroad. but am thinking that ros is being ironically ignorant. there is very practical and obvious reasons americans don't travel outside north america much. am suggesting that somebody looks at a map. don't need a passport for a quick trip to mexico or kanada. much o' central and south america has reputation o' being dangerous.... which ain't particularly fair, but is a common held belief. europe is separated from the good old USA by a fairly good sized stretch o' water. to traverse the expanse, even in this day and age, is not a spur-of-the-moment kinda thing. plane ticket alone is costing folks such as Gromnir ~$1000 to go to london. a trip overseas is not cheap and when you start comparing relative value o' vacation destinations or braces for little timmy, paris and tokyo don't seem to fare well. the USA IS big and diverse, so it is understandable that most folks don't see something beyond borders that is worth the very substantial expense o' obtaining.

 

am thankful that we had opportunities to visit and live outside the USA, but such journeys were largely done on somebody else's dime, 'cause is not something we would probable consider doing if we had to bear the full cost our self.

 

HA! Good Fun!