Walsingham Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 I like to think most of my self-injuries have been 'inventive' at the very least. Who here has ever gotten a facial scar from slicing an apple? This guy! Is it a cool facial scar? Like a bad Nazi would have? Then you could twitch every time you saw a veggie eating an apple-sweetened dish. "It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"." -Elwood Blues tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raithe Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 I like to think most of my self-injuries have been 'inventive' at the very least. Who here has ever gotten a facial scar from slicing an apple? This guy! Ah hah! I fell forward _over_ the head of my rocking horse and fractured my skull.. Walked through a doorway in perfect time to be at eye height to the cigarette in my uncles hand as he took it out of his mouth.. (and yes, the doctor refused to believe it had happened..right up until he peeled my eyelid up and found the ashcircle) And I managed to slice my palm open with a big staple. All before I turned 5. My mother was always so damn embarassed and worried that the people at A&E thought she abused her kids.. "Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drowsy Emperor Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 (edited) It doesnt beat trying to manouver around a parked car only to put you leg in a shallow hole and bust your knee 2 weeks in plaster for that Edited June 7, 2011 by Drowsy Emperor И погибе Српски кнез Лазаре,И његова сва изгибе војска, Седамдесет и седам иљада;Све је свето и честито билоИ миломе Богу приступачно. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosbjerg Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 Self injuries can be quite hilarious.. My cousin works in the ER and she's always the toast of her parties when she lists the things she's pulled out of people's asses over the years.. My personal favourite was the screwdriver that accidentally landed on the floor (handle up) as the guy fell... People are really clumsy it seems, most of the accidents involves falling/stumbling. Fortune favors the bald. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drowsy Emperor Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 Or just masturbation with inappropriate objects. Fleshlight is key. И погибе Српски кнез Лазаре,И његова сва изгибе војска, Седамдесет и седам иљада;Све је свето и честито билоИ миломе Богу приступачно. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Syraxis Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 Or just masturbation with inappropriate objects. From what I hear; EMT's could go on for hours about these kind of stories. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shryke Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 the worst i've done was probably going out to chop some firewood with an axe and forgot to put some boots on went well enough for a while, until i started getting tired and with one big lazy swing missed the piece of wood completely and got myself square in the foot when your mind works against you - fight back with substance abuse! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theslug Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 I went out for dinner last week with a friend from school. We have an interesting relationship. I trust her almost implicitly and apparently she feels the same way about me, but I have feelings reserved for her as well, though never expressed of course. At the same time, I have seen her outside of school on maybe two occasions and we don't really talk all that often but when we do its like magic. Anyways, we get coffee afterwards and she takes a deep breath and starts with a "So if we ever did anything sexual..." and I'm thinking holy balls this could be like the start of a beautiful relationship with someone who is really cool and awesome. Well not quite. Turns out she wants to perform oral sex on me and video tape it so her and her lover can get off together or something. It's pretty bizarre but as a man I cannot refuse free oral from an attractive young female. So the last week I've been trying to tan and get sexy. Should look moderately decent though my legs are still white as hell. I don't understand it. My upper body is getting golden quite nicely but not even a hint on my legs. Total bs. Other than that its starting to get really hot outside and I have one summer class which is difficult. Wish me luck on my amateur porn debut. Hopefully it doesnt wind up on the interwebs. There was a time when I questioned the ability for the schizoid to ever experience genuine happiness, at the very least for a prolonged segment of time. I am no closer to finding the answer, however, it has become apparent that contentment is certainly a realizable goal. I find these results to be adequate, if not pleasing. Unfortunately, connection is another subject entirely. When one has sufficiently examined the mind and their emotional constructs, connection can be easily imitated. More data must be gleaned and further collated before a sufficient judgment can be reached. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shryke Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 that's... quite the interesting situation you have there sluggy when your mind works against you - fight back with substance abuse! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hurlshort Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 (edited) Slug, that whole situation sounds like it will have a comically tragic ending. Keep us posted. Edited June 8, 2011 by Hurlshot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walsingham Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 I went out for dinner last week with a friend from school. We have an interesting relationship. I trust her almost implicitly and apparently she feels the same way about me, but I have feelings reserved for her as well, though never expressed of course. At the same time, I have seen her outside of school on maybe two occasions and we don't really talk all that often but when we do its like magic. Anyways, we get coffee afterwards and she takes a deep breath and starts with a "So if we ever did anything sexual..." and I'm thinking holy balls this could be like the start of a beautiful relationship with someone who is really cool and awesome. Well not quite. Turns out she wants to perform oral sex on me and video tape it so her and her lover can get off together or something. It's pretty bizarre but as a man I cannot refuse free oral from an attractive young female. So the last week I've been trying to tan and get sexy. Should look moderately decent though my legs are still white as hell. I don't understand it. My upper body is getting golden quite nicely but not even a hint on my legs. Total bs. Much as I hate to say it, but I wouldn't let yourself get taped. From your point of view do you really want it getting popular and people recognising you at job interviews? From my point of view I don't want to shufti your shambala. If you like the girl just head on out there and make your own. Don't be satisfied with furniture status in someone else's relationship. "It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"." -Elwood Blues tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calax Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 Well. Sluggo, you could always do the "girl next door" thing and say "as long as my face is covered" assuming that you don't have identifying marks on your body. Victor of the 5 year fan fic competition! Kevin Butler will awesome your face off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nepenthe Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 What kind of ****ing halfwit would put you in an office with your romantic ex? She's either a sadist or we managed to keep it concealed better than we thought. I'm guessing the former, because in my experience all women are sadists. Is she a hot sadist? She's twice my age... and probably wasn't, ahem, my type 30 years ago, either. There really is no clever way to injure oneself What about repetitive strain injury from writing complex equations? Or a doctoral dissertation? You're a cheery wee bugger, Nep. Have I ever said that? Reapercussions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walsingham Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 Correction: message should read "make her your own". Original implies some sort of Frankenstein effort. "It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"." -Elwood Blues tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drowsy Emperor Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 (edited) Lol, no tapes, ever! Leave no evidence. If Angelina Jolie herself wanted to blow me and tape it, I'd refuse. Besides, you're likely to get nervous in front of cameras and make the whole event hilarous. Get her to blow you without cameras, get her hot and bothered so that you might have a shot at something more and then leave that psychopathic relationship before it comes back to hit you on the head. Obivously, at your place or a hotel. That's what I'd do. No one needs a girl who will blow random guys saying that her bf wants to watch. For all you know she could be doing it to get back at him, and you could end up a casualty. Edited June 8, 2011 by Drowsy Emperor И погибе Српски кнез Лазаре,И његова сва изгибе војска, Седамдесет и седам иљада;Све је свето и честито билоИ миломе Богу приступачно. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walsingham Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 For the record, I'd go for Angelina Jolie, but invest some cash in a capacitor DEMP to negate the evidence. Be a little creative, Drowsy, or you'll never get what you want in this life! "It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"." -Elwood Blues tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raithe Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 Having that slow start to the day. Kept doing the fade in and out of consciousness for a few hours while the house was waking up before managing to force myself out of bed. Still have some of that groggy feeling lurking in the bushes. Nicely overcast day and the pooch is being all over-excitable. Hm, and I know I'm going to have to have a talk with my sister over the animals at some point. She's starting to get into the habit of getting home from work, and doing a "oh, can you just keep looking after them for a little, while i have a quick bath / get changed / eat dinner" or some such... and then not showing up for another 3 hours. Now on to see how much focus I can grab to shape my mind to some useful matters... "Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raithe Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 (edited) To add to my day.. I shall merely go with this quote: "Writing is easy. All you do is stare at a blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead." Edit: And dangit, I've just found out the US Embassy here has a Resource Center for academics to access.. but you can only phone them during 2 hours in the morning.. They take fax, they take real letters, but they don't have a bloody email... Edited June 8, 2011 by Raithe "Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walsingham Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 The tic in my left eye has started up again. "It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"." -Elwood Blues tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raithe Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 The tic in my left eye has started up again. drink induced or just general nervousness? But be grateful, Captain Darling had a tick for 6 weeks of filming ... but the actor couldn't get rid of it for another 6 months... "Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nepenthe Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 To add to my day.. I shall merely go with this quote:"Writing is easy. All you do is stare at a blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead." Edit: And dangit, I've just found out the US Embassy here has a Resource Center for academics to access.. but you can only phone them during 2 hours in the morning.. I'll be remembering that one. The quote, that is. You're a cheery wee bugger, Nep. Have I ever said that? Reapercussions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Malcador Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 Far too hot today, need to get a portable AC for my room, or devise some way to get air out of my room and the house. Stupid summer, need to move to someplace it's 10 C year round. Why has elegance found so little following? Elegance has the disadvantage that hard work is needed to achieve it and a good education to appreciate it. - Edsger Wybe Dijkstra Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walsingham Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 Far too hot today, need to get a portable AC for my room, or devise some way to get air out of my room and the house. Stupid summer, need to move to someplace it's 10 C year round. North Wales? "It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"." -Elwood Blues tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Malcador Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 And I do like the Welsh. Right then! Why has elegance found so little following? Elegance has the disadvantage that hard work is needed to achieve it and a good education to appreciate it. - Edsger Wybe Dijkstra Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walsingham Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 Also, waiting for some damn advice on buying a mic so I can place an order for necessary stationery at the same time. "It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"." -Elwood Blues tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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