Cop arrests daughter's boyfriend

[Calax]

There seems to be a vibe here that every cop should be like Robocop. Do you guys know any cops? They are just regular joes.

I've known a couple, and yeah, they are regular joes. Also, regular joes have been called on bad parenting, which is what this is. Adding to that the nature of his abuse of his position as a cop and you've got somebody who should be seriously punished, not just "slap on the wrist and don't do it again" stuff. I mean the guy literally threatened to ruin the boys life during that speech he gave the kid (inbetween verbally abusing him, and demeaning his own daughter) simply because they were a pair of teenagers who thought they were in love. I'm willing to bet if you did something similar ("you won't graduate if you go near my daughter, and I'll see to it you're expelled") You'd loose your own job pretty quickly once the parents heard of it, or not explicitly fired but forced to resign (I've seen teachers in Cali ejected for lesser offenses).

 

Understand, we're not asking him to loose his humanity, but we are asking him to not abuse his power when he personally becomes outraged. I mean the guy's a cop, if he does this now, what's to say he won't go all vigilante in 6 months if his daughter is.... harmed( or worse) in the next few months, and kill an innocent person?

[Volourn]

"They are just regular joes."

 

regular joes get punished, lose tehri jobs, and go to prison when they break the law and/or abuse powers invested in them by the law.

 

he's a cop. his job is to hphold the law not break the law.

 

If hew feels his job interveres in his ability to be a parent (it shouldn't since plenty of cops handle being parents and the duties of the job just fine) then he should quit the force and find a job more suitable for him.

 

He is a piece of crap and belongs in jail with the rest of the corrupted police and let the good police officers continue to do a great job that scumbags like him do everything in their power tod estroy the reputation of the police.

[Malcador]

There seems to be a vibe here that every cop should be like Robocop. Do you guys know any cops? They are just regular joes.

 

That's some conclusion to draw from people spotting this as abuse of power. Being able to keep your private life out of your job, especially one as a cop, is part of discipline - so he can keep his feelings in check, or move on. As for knowing cops, heh, well I know two of them. Both really buy into the "we are all stands between us and barbarity" (while the cops here beat up some guy because he looked like a suspect, heh). Pretty sure all Toronto cops aren't wannabe paramilitaries, but they don't do much to convince me.

[Nepenthe]

There seems to be a vibe here that every cop should be like Robocop. Do you guys know any cops? They are just regular joes.

 

Yeah, a lot of them, I was a prosecutor. They all knew that if they'd pulled a stunt like that around here, they would have been unemployed and probably imprisoned. Just like I knew that if I'd signed an arrest warrant for my ex's current, I would've been boned.

[alanschu]

What if the father did the exact opposite here? What if he ignored the behavior? What if he just let her have sleepovers with her boyfriend and never interferes at all? He becomes a bad father, his daughter probably gets pregnant in High School. Does this make him a better cop? I know there is a middle ground here, but he didn't shoot the boy, he scared him, so I don't think he crossed so far over the line that he deserves to lose his career.

 

That's not a valid argument, and you know it.

 

It's not valid to point out the opposite end of the parenting spectrum?

 

I'll be honest, I'm a bit surprised that everyone here is willing to end the guy's career. Do any of you have children? It isn't an on and off switch, it is a permanent change of consciousness. Ask your parents.

 

 

You're presenting a false dichotomy in doing so Hurlshot. As you point out, it's a spectrum, and there are better ways he could have approached this situation then abusing his powers. I remember locally a police officer was reprimanded because he ran an attractive lady's license plate so that he could get contact information to ask her out on a date. He wasn't fired, but was reprimanded, which is exactly what I think should happen to the police officer here.

 

I feel the father exercised poor judgment in feeling it was appropriate to abuse his powers as a police officer, because as a police officer he SHOULD know better. These are exactly the type of people we do not want behaving with irrational emotions while wearing the uniform. Unfortunately it'll probably sour the relationship with his daughter as well. If this "permanent change of consciousness" is something the father cannot sufficiently separate from his job, he should, however, consider that maybe this career is no longer suitable for him given his responsibilities as a parent. He's well within his means to exercise some "fear tactic" as a father without relying on being a police officer.

 

 

As for YOU on the other hand... I am exceptionally disappointed that you feel you'd feel just as justified in abusing your powers as a school teacher in order to "teach someone a lesson" in order to "protect" your daughter. It's unfortunate that you still feel a need to coerce your teenage children through means of fear. I'm not sure why he feel it is so. I always understood my parents had authority through my dependence on them, but they stopped over parenting me by the time I hit 12. Yes I'd get punished for doing stuff that they did not approve of, but the coercion due to fear disappeared long before I was considering having sex. I didn't have underage sex (nor underage drink for that matter) because I respected my parents enough, as well as the autonomy they slowly granted me each year. I also learned and respected the women that I was with and didn't want to risk jeopardizing my future or their future.

 

And no, I don't have a child, so unfortunately you'll just casually dismiss everything I say for that reason alone. Keep this thought process in mind, however, the next time you offer an opinion about anything you don't have direct experience about.

 

Kudos to you for being honest, but in spite of everything else I approve of your anecdotes of being a teacher, at this time I'd be hard pressed to allow you to teach any child I had. The unfortunate difference between you and the police officer is that I can at least rationalize that the police officer acted irrationally and made a poor decision as a result. You've already given up and accepted that you'd make a poor decision, despite being cognizant of that fact and hence able to do something to prevent yourself from acting stupid.

 

Slightly tangential is that (and I feel the police officer did this): over parenting is a very serious issue as far as I'm concerned. As a result elementary students in my elementary school are no longer allowed to engage in fun physical activity such as tag during recess because a boy hurt himself while playing, and parents were worried about their child getting hurt and petitioned the school board to no longer allow it.

 

 

As for this:

Yes. Are you guys missing the point where he treated the girl in the same fashion? That seems to be getting lost here.

 

I think it just shows he exercised poor judgment here twice. Are you trying to argue that two wrongs make a right or something? I don't see how anything changes because he did it to both teenagers involved.

 

To reiterate, I do not feel this is worthy of ending his career, and I feel he does deserve punishment in this regard. I also feel both teenagers behaved irresponsibly without full understanding of the potential consequences of their actions.

[mkreku]

Reading Hurlshot and ~Di is like reading some misplaced characters from an 18'th century novel. "We thoust mustheth protect her virginiteth!!".

 

I knew about ~Di already, but I'm surprised about Hurlshot. With priorities set like that, I wouldn't let my kids be taught by you either, Hurlie.

 

The cop broke the law, the kids didn't. End of story.

 

Good parenting is about keeping the kids off bad influences, off drugs, away from sexual predators, keep them safe and fed and happy in general, and so on. But it doesn't include trying to keep them away from life itself, even if life isn't always what you want it to be.

[Nepenthe]

The cop broke the law, the kids didn't. End of story.

 

Actually, it looks like the kids did break the law in this case, as well.

 

Not saying I really disagree with you otherwise, or that it's a particularly good law.

[mkreku]

I only read that the girl was 14 and the guy 15? A case like that was tested in court recently in Sweden and it was not found to be illegal (15 is the age of consent in Sweden). I'm guessing the laws may be different in the land of the free.

[Calax]

I only read that the girl was 14 and the guy 15? A case like that was tested in court recently in Sweden and it was not found to be illegal (15 is the age of consent in Sweden). I'm guessing the laws may be different in the land of the free.

After the complaint about the cop was filed, both kids were charged with underage sex... although I don't think that'll stick or be persued by the DA because of their ages.

[Gorgon]

One of my sisters says she was 14 when she lost her virginity, I'm sure that kind of thing is a lot more common now than it used to be. I understand why fathers are over protective and I'm not going to argue that they shouldn't, that would be futile. I will suggest however that you can't shield your kids from life forever, and that trying to is likely to drive you further apart than the default distance for a teenage rebellion.

[Walsingham]

There seems to be a vibe here that every cop should be like Robocop. Do you guys know any cops? They are just regular joes.

 

They are, but they're not at the point they put on the uniform. It's like being a soldier. No one in their right mind is going to assault a machine gun nest ...unless they're in uniform. At which point inexplicably loads of people are up for it!

 

I'm not saying being a cop is easy, Hurlshot. But it's not like you get drafted into it. If you don't think you can uphold the standards, put up, man up, or get the **** out.

[Hurlshort]

Oh no, the armchair parents don't want me to teach their make-believe children! It is a bit hard to take you guys seriously when you go on like this. Let's review -

 

- I believe he should be reprimanded. He crossed the line. I don't believe he should lose his job unless he has a history of this sort of thing.

 

- I understand why he reacted in the manner that he did, and I would very likely react in a similar manner. I would hopefully be smarter about it, for example I would approach the parents first and work with them.

 

It is a little difficult not to be dismissive here with the non-parents, because there is a major disconnect. Just the fact that the majority of you are ok with 14 and 15 year old's having sex is a huge chasm in our ability to understand each other. But I am somewhat comforted by the fact that if and when you folks do have children and you spend a little time raising them, you will realize just what a complete change in perception it really is. The way you view the entire world will change.

[Calax]

Oh no, the armchair parents don't want me to teach their make-believe children! It is a bit hard to take you guys seriously when you go on like this. Let's review -

 

- I believe he should be reprimanded. He crossed the line. I don't believe he should lose his job unless he has a history of this sort of thing.

 

- I understand why he reacted in the manner that he did, and I would very likely react in a similar manner. I would hopefully be smarter about it, for example I would approach the parents first and work with them.

 

It is a little difficult not to be dismissive here with the non-parents, because there is a major disconnect. Just the fact that the majority of you are ok with 14 and 15 year old's having sex is a huge chasm in our ability to understand each other. But I am somewhat comforted by the fact that if and when you folks do have children and you spend a little time raising them, you will realize just what a complete change in perception it really is. The way you view the entire world will change.

It will completely be a different point of view, however, this does not mean that any parent should use every single option within their power to bully their children into "living better lives", and then bullying their childrens friends.

 

Here's the thing about crossing the line. He crossed it once, on a purely personal matter, and abused his authority as a police officer to belittle, harass, and verbally abuse a child. Now, what happens when he crosses it on duty and beats the tar out of a dealer, murderer or rapist?

 

Also, would you want somebody you know who has kids to come in and start threatening your childrens future? As I said before, if somebody did that to me they'd probably be decked before they know what hit them.

[Volourn]

"One of my sisters says she was 14 when she lost her virginity, I'm sure that kind of thing is a lot more common now than it used to be."

 

Weird. There used to be a time where girls were getting married at that age.

 

 

"Oh no, the armchair parents don't want me to teach their make-believe children! It is a bit hard to take you guys seriously when you go on like this. Let's review - "

 

I love this view of a certains ect of aprents who dismiss any and all comments by non parents. It's short sighted arrogance and often voiced by horrible parents as a self defense mechanism. 'u just don't udnerstand.... waaaaa!" It's a cop out, and any good parent would know that taking advice from non parents might be a good idea. Also, it should be pointed out that GOOD aprents actually do liosten to non parents and they also lean on them for help. Are you a good or bad parent? If you approve of what theis sucmbag cop did, I'd wager you are a bad parent. He's a piece of crap. Plain, and simple. And, I know plenty of parents - good ones - who'd say the same thing.

 

 

"Just the fact that the majority of you are ok with 14 and 15 year old's having sex is a huge chasm in our ability to understand each other"

 

FALLACY ALERT. It's not about thinking it's 'okay'. It's about thinking that there is a better way for a parent to handle it then arresting the teens involced and threatening to ruin their lives as some sort of sick pratical joke. This wasn't about trying to teach the kids a lesson. This was about fufilling the scumbag cop's need for revenge, hate, and smallmindedness. ie. An example of horirble parenting. He failed as a cop, but more importantly, he failed as a parent. You probably would have supported him if he shot the kid since he was just 'protecting' his poor innocent pure taken advantage of daughter. That's sick.

 

 

"But I am somewhat comforted by the fact that if and when you folks do have children and you spend a little time raising them, you will realize just what a complete change in perception it really is. The way you view the entire world will change."

But, ti doesn't fundamnetlaly change who you are and your morals don't change. None of my friends who have become parents have magically changed. The only thing that has changed is their children's well being come before their own self interest. In this case, the cop wasn't thinking of his duaghter. He was thinking of himself. Don't you see that that is the actual problem here? His actions here solved NOTHING. All they did was make things worse for everyone.

 

Good goin' exlax.

[Tale]

There seems to be a vibe here that every cop should be like Robocop. Do you guys know any cops? They are just regular joes.

"Regular joes" get arrested for that kind of thing.

Edited September 28, 2010 by Tale

[Morgoth]

Screwing with 15 is a bit perverse in my book, but yeah, the cop definitely abused his power.

[Malcador]

Oh no, the armchair parents don't want me to teach their make-believe children! It is a bit hard to take you guys seriously when you go on like this. Let's review -

 

- I believe he should be reprimanded. He crossed the line. I don't believe he should lose his job unless he has a history of this sort of thing.

 

- I understand why he reacted in the manner that he did, and I would very likely react in a similar manner. I would hopefully be smarter about it, for example I would approach the parents first and work with them.

 

It is a little difficult not to be dismissive here with the non-parents, because there is a major disconnect. Just the fact that the majority of you are ok with 14 and 15 year old's having sex is a huge chasm in our ability to understand each other. But I am somewhat comforted by the fact that if and when you folks do have children and you spend a little time raising them, you will realize just what a complete change in perception it really is. The way you view the entire world will change.

 

Where have people been saying they're ok with it, anyway ? It's a non-issue compared to this cop (who should be fired, regardless of his history) abusing his power like he did. People being a parent really doesn't have much bearing on this, I understand the cop's pissed off and why...but so what ?

[Hurlshort]

It is a bit daunting to have nearly the entire forum arguing with me, but I can find some solace in Volourn. If he is disagreeing with me, I am probably on the right track. Roofles at being called a bad parent by a guy with a dissociative personality disorder!

 

Um, I'm still getting the impression some of you didn't really watch the video. He isn't yelling at the kid, he's lecturing him. Apparently the cuffs were applied because the kid didn't take him seriously at first. I disagree with the use of the cuffs, but that explains why they were used. Apparently the kid also has a record for abuse of some sort, and apparently the cop already met with the boy earlier and asked him to stop seeing his daughter. The boy's father is also supporting what the cop was saying in the video.

 

So yeah, the kid deserved to have some fear put into him. The biggest crime is that a bunch of people are rushing to his defense because 'boo hoo, he got scared!' That is the over-protection I see.

[Malcador]

Yeah it must be that, or just lack of tolerance for cops stepping out of line. Funny to see parents cheering for this though, considering how easy it is to scare them, a la Lovejoy.

Edited September 28, 2010 by Malcador

[Walsingham]

OK, I'm going to fess up and admit I didn't watch the video at all. I apologise.

 

If I had I'd have seen the component which comes down to the boy having sex with an underage girl. I'm on record, and pretty clear about that sort of thing.

 

HOWEVER, this just makes me more confused. If he'd committed a crime, why not simply call a colleague and have him booked?

[Volourn]

"If I had I'd have seen the component which comes down to the boy having sex with an underage girl."

 

What does that have to do with anything? The boy is udnerage too. he's 15, she's 14. People are going on about he's some sort of sexual predator preying on innocent little virgin girls and she's just some victim of his pervert games. That's pretty sick, twisted, sexist, and evil.

 

 

"Funny to see parents cheering for this though"

 

I know plenty of parents who would dissaprove of this. In fact, obviously the boys' parents dissaprove of this or they would have made a huige issue of it.

 

 

"Apparently the kid also has a record for abuse of some sort"

 

Irrelevant heresay that means crap.

 

 

"apparently the cop already met with the boy earlier and asked him to stop seeing his daughter."

 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

NEWS AT 11!!!! FATHER DISAPROVES OF BOY DAUGHTER IS DATING AND FORBIDS HIM TO SEE HER, BOY AND GIRL DISOBEY!

 

The world is now over.

 

 

 

"So yeah, the kid deserved to have some fear put into him."

 

Fear of what exactly? What does the kid learn here? Nothing of value.

 

This was not about teahcing a lesson or being a good aprent. This was a very selfish act by a scumbag cop. This wans't about protetcing the duaghter. This was to feed the piece of crap cop's ego. He's a horrible parent. No wonder his daughter ignores him. He's apparantly a horrible parent who believes bullying and inimitdation are the keys to good parenting. This also makes him a poor cop since it's apparant he only became a cop so he can abuse his powers and he views the uniform as a method to abuse and intimidate others not to serve and protect which is what the uniform should be about.

 

Piece of crap cop. piece of crap parent. Piece of crap human being.

[Calax]

Um, I'm still getting the impression some of you didn't really watch the video. He isn't yelling at the kid, he's lecturing him. Apparently the cuffs were applied because the kid didn't take him seriously at first. I disagree with the use of the cuffs, but that explains why they were used. Apparently the kid also has a record for abuse of some sort, and apparently the cop already met with the boy earlier and asked him to stop seeing his daughter. The boy's father is also supporting what the cop was saying in the video.

Which part? "You sicken me"? "You stupid s***!" "If you go near me, my house, or my daughter again I'll arrest you for assault and as a sex offender"? "Do you know she still needs to be reminded about cleaning herself at her... womanly time"? "That she needs to be reminded to shower a couple of times a week"? Which part is the boys father supporting?

 

Verbal abuse doesn't necessitate yelling. Calling somebody a stupid sack of s**t, and otherwise belittling them (particularly in a position of power) is abusive.

 

And while I don't condone relations between the two kids, I don't exactly find it out of the ordinary that they're starting to get together that way.

[Pidesco]

I spoke with a friend of mine who's a mother of two, and she completely disagrees with Hurlshot. What she would have done in this situation would be to talk extensively with her daughter about sex (assuming she hadn't already), and she would've given condoms to her daughter.

[I want teh kotor 3]

NEWS AT 11!!!!

LoF's alt found??

 

 

"So yeah, the kid deserved to have some fear put into him."

 

Fear of what exactly? What does the kid learn here? Nothing of value.

 

Piece of crap cop. piece of crap parent. Piece of crap human being.

 

This

[Oner]

TBH there's a good chance the cop damaged the relationship with his daughter and possibly ended a relationship that, for all we know, may have blossomed into a wonderful 70 year long marriage. (And don't tell me it wouldn't have, you don't know the involved kids or the future any more than I do.)

I can't imagine how anyone can think that this move was worth it.