Ask Monte

[Rosbjerg]

A more Swedish plan would be:

 

 

1. Attend the same bar as the other party

2. Wait until blood alcohol levels in both parties reach a satisfactory level

3. ?

4. Success.

 

Kaftan I seem to remember you being a relativity good looking chap, it shouldn't be that difficult to start the initial contact.. flirting in a supermarket has one big advantage too, as she's out of her usual habitat and the fact that she hasn't dolled herself up (like if you met her in a bar), which means that you are hitting on her when she looks normal - which again is a big compliment.

 

Simply asking someone out (even in Scandinavia) is usually a good approach - I mean what's the worst that can happen? she turns you down - I'm sure we've all tried that before..

[Monte Carlo]

Alternatively, hire yourself a US Naval Aviator's uniform, No. 1 dress white's, and re-create the final scene from An Officer and a Gentleman.

 

OTOH, I remembered that a lot of you Scandies are peacenik hippies who might not dig that whole military vibe.

 

Give it a try anyway, it's easier than Wal's 'hidden jewellery' fiasco which proves why I'm the guy with the problem-solving thread and not him.

[Orogun01]

A more Swedish plan would be:

 

 

1. Attend the same bar as the other party

2. Wait until blood alcohol levels in both parties reach a satisfactory level

3. ?

4. Success.

That's not Swedish, it's universal.

[Hurlshort]

As it happens the young Monty, circa 1987, faced an identical dilemma. A very beautiful girl worked in a store. I sent her flowers with a not-very-cryptic clue as to who I was. Her female co-workers cooed and fussed over the floral tribute. I got a date and went out with her for a couple of very pleasant months.

 

You can have that one for free. It actually works.

 

 

Not in Sweden, it doesnt. Sending unsolicited flowers or a gift of any kind to a girl you're not intimately familiar with, is not socially acceptable. Unless you're Alexander Skarsg

[Nepenthe]

As it happens the young Monty, circa 1987, faced an identical dilemma. A very beautiful girl worked in a store. I sent her flowers with a not-very-cryptic clue as to who I was. Her female co-workers cooed and fussed over the floral tribute. I got a date and went out with her for a couple of very pleasant months.

 

You can have that one for free. It actually works.

 

 

Not in Sweden, it doesnt. Sending unsolicited flowers or a gift of any kind to a girl you're not intimately familiar with, is not socially acceptable. Unless you're Alexander Skarsg

[HoonDing]

I actually had a thing for a supermarket girl myself when I was at university, until I discovered she had rotten teeth when I finally got her to smile. The infatuation ended right there.

[Orogun01]

I actually had a thing for a supermarket girl myself when I was at university, until I discovered she had rotten teeth when I finally got her to smile. The infatuation ended right there.

Wasn't your love worth a trip to the dentist?

[Gorth]

Use your imagination

 

[I want teh kotor 3]

Dear Uncle Monty,

I have acquired a kitten. He has been named Binky. He is extremely violent, and keeps trying to kill my feet. Yet I cannot help but be endeared by this violence.

 

The violence is amusing because it cannot harm you. Purchase a Bengal tiger and re-run the exercise. You will realise that video games have de-sensitized you to nothing.

 

[Walsingham]

Fine, you miserable ****ers. Go ahead and just trail her to a bar and get pissed. How very sodding romantic.

 

IMO a bit of effort scares off the 'also ran' s but is essential if you want to get the really special ones. You can't expect to snaffle a clever and attractive woman by doing what every other fethwit is doing. At least you can't if you're a bit thick and funny looking like I am.

[Nepenthe]

Fine, you miserable ****ers. Go ahead and just trail her to a bar and get pissed. How very sodding romantic.

 

IMO a bit of effort scares off the 'also ran' s but is essential if you want to get the really special ones. You can't expect to snaffle a clever and attractive woman by doing what every other fethwit is doing. At least you can't if you're a bit thick and funny looking like I am.

 

No, you're perfectly right. But just walking up to a stranger in their working environment is generally not going to set you up as anything else than "a creep". So you have to strike the balance between being "different" and, well, "not scary"

[Walsingham]

Good question, Nepenthe. Quite simply it won't be creepy provided you do it with sufficient charm and grace. Keep in mind that there's a daring quality to it, and it's a gamble. Enjoy yourself. If they like it they'll really like it. If they don't then you tried something cute and it didn't work, so you move on.

[Serrano]

It seems like a minefield these days, I was reading an article/rant by a games journalist called Leigh Alexander about catcalling a few weeks ago that partly described how much of an inconvinience harmless flirting (seperate issue from catcalling) could be for her because it happens so often. She didn't come across as full of herself despite how that sounds, I don't have time to dig up the article for proper context atm though, will later. I was left exasperated after reading it though, but I'll have to finish the post later as well. To be continued.

Edited July 19, 2010 by Serrano

[Nepenthe]

Good question, Nepenthe. Quite simply it won't be creepy provided you do it with sufficient charm and grace. Keep in mind that there's a daring quality to it, and it's a gamble. Enjoy yourself. If they like it they'll really like it. If they don't then you tried something cute and it didn't work, so you move on.

 

Charm... and grace... How old are you, exactly?

 

No, really, sometimes I feel like I'm separated by a generation gap from people of my age, probably comes from having relatively old parents.

[Rosbjerg]

It seems like a minefield these days, I was reading an article/rant by a games journalist called Leigh Alexander about catcalling a few weeks ago that partly described how much of an inconvinience harmless flirting (seperate issue from catcalling) could be for her because it happens so often. She didn't come across as full of herself despite how that sounds, I don't have time to dig up the article for proper context atm though, will later. I was left exasperated after reading it though, but I'll have to finish the post later as well. To be continued.

 

here it is

[Walsingham]

Good question, Nepenthe. Quite simply it won't be creepy provided you do it with sufficient charm and grace. Keep in mind that there's a daring quality to it, and it's a gamble. Enjoy yourself. If they like it they'll really like it. If they don't then you tried something cute and it didn't work, so you move on.

 

Charm... and grace... How old are you, exactly?

 

No, really, sometimes I feel like I'm separated by a generation gap from people of my age, probably comes from having relatively old parents.

 

LOL. Older than I should be, perhaps. But romance is inherently old fashioned from what I can gather. If you want to do something old fashioned then old fashioned virtues apply, I guess.

[Nepenthe]

Good question, Nepenthe. Quite simply it won't be creepy provided you do it with sufficient charm and grace. Keep in mind that there's a daring quality to it, and it's a gamble. Enjoy yourself. If they like it they'll really like it. If they don't then you tried something cute and it didn't work, so you move on.

 

Charm... and grace... How old are you, exactly?

 

No, really, sometimes I feel like I'm separated by a generation gap from people of my age, probably comes from having relatively old parents.

 

LOL. Older than I should be, perhaps. But romance is inherently old fashioned from what I can gather. If you want to do something old fashioned then old fashioned virtues apply, I guess.

 

Yeah, I probably could have made my point better, but I can't help but feel that romance is dead in the Nordic countries.

[Rosbjerg]

Romance isn't dead in the Nordic countries - but it's true that from 16-20something that there are other priorities. In that timeframe it's usually about testing the waters and then you slowly get into a more settled approach. My friends (26+) are all pretty much done with the constant partying and dating and have all somewhat gone into a routine of more stable relationships.

[Walsingham]

Being romantic doesn't necessarily mean you want to settle down. In fact on reflection I'd say quite the reverse.

[Nepenthe]

Being romantic doesn't necessarily mean you want to settle down. In fact on reflection I'd say quite the reverse.

 

Bingo. All my friends have settled down as well - and their relationships were all founded on anything but romance (my favourite is the guy who picked the girl with the nice ass, cute accent and gold taps at home. Or the one who let his lab pair just take over his life and apartment.)

 

Me, I was romantic, got epically dumped and now spend my time mostly with a serious amount of gaming equipment and occasional stints as a free agent in the local nightlife

 

So, if there's a point to all this, it's mostly "kids, don't be like your uncle Nepenthe. He's made all the mistakes in the book so you don't have to."

 

Late edit: In fact, it's like Rosbjerg's assessment proved my earlier point! ;D

Edited July 20, 2010 by Nepenthe

[213374U]

occasional stints as a free agent in the local nightlife

Do I have your permission to use that? Ah, I'm going to anyway.

 

Re mistakes: there's only one way of learning about life in general and human relations in particular, and that's the hard way. So in fact my advice would be "kids, don't be like your uncle #s. Better to crash and burn than spend nights wondering how things might have turned out".

 

Or maybe I just plain old suck.

[Nepenthe]

occasional stints as a free agent in the local nightlife

Do I have your permission to use that? Ah, I'm going to anyway.

 

Re mistakes: there's only one way of learning about life in general and human relations in particular, and that's the hard way. So in fact my advice would be "kids, don't be like your uncle #s. Better to crash and burn than spend nights wondering how things might have turned out".

 

Or maybe I just plain old suck.

 

Yeah, that's DEFINITE. It's always better to go for it that keep wondering. But also, if you have a chance to set the scene to your advantage, it's better to do it that way than rush straight in.

 

Honestly, since March, I've mostly just been exploring how thin the line between love and hate is. It's amazing how long you can keep letting a person disappoint you when you REALLY have feelings for them.

 

But, it's is better to have loved and lost than never have loved at all. And better to have actually loved, than mistaken infatuation or even convenience for love.

[Gorth]

But, it's is better to have loved and lost than never have loved at all. And better to have actually loved, than mistaken infatuation or even convenience for love.

I'm not convinced. The way people in love seems to lose all their mental faculties is scary

[Monte Carlo]

STOP. Start your own soppy knitting circle thread somewhere else to discuss relationships.

 

This thread is about ME. Solving problems. And stuff.

 

Girly men.

[Tigranes]

Dear Monte,

 

I am now playing Baldur's Gate again to satisfy my tunnel-fighting needs, but surely you have the connoisseur's knowledge of hidden gems. How best should I resolve my tunnel-fighting urges?

 

Tigranes