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Let's create the worst fantasy setting ever.


Monte Carlo

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Or it is revealed that the hero was in fact conceived by the lich in a vile magical experiment involving the blood of newborn children, jackal teeth & the eye of a Kraken, to create the ultimate Champion of Evil - but the experiment turned awry when the lich was distracted by a boob flash of one of his scantilly clad succubi and the infant was transported across the world in the barn of a random farming family who took up the child and raised it as their own.

 

So the hero would then finally learn of his heritage after facing and defeating one of the lich's powerful henchmen, who would splutter it out with his dying breath and leave the hero behind crying "Nooooooooooo!!!" in despair and cause a lot of tension with the hot cleric --- even causing the hot cleric to leave the hero's adventuring party only to be kidnapped by another henchman of the lich, forcing to hero to go and save the damsel in distress who would of course be locked in a tower with seventy-seven floors, each of them guarded by a Demon Prince and a three-headed hellhound.

Better, the lich actually planned the heroes entire life, to grow him into a good little soul marred with darkness so the lich can harvest it and have the powers of BOTH sides of the spectrum! His entire life was this lich's plan, and then there's a montage of the different important people in our hero's life that were actually the lich directing him to collect everything he needs to complete the ritual!

 

AND it actually works! until the female love interest cries and a single solitary tear lands on the hero bringing him back to life through the power of LOVE! Then the hero gains superpowers from the power of friendship and kills the lich by becoming a god. And to cap it all off he gives up godhood to be with his one true love *que the awwwwwws*

Edited by Calax

Victor of the 5 year fan fic competition!

 

Kevin Butler will awesome your face off.

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Adding to the back-story of our hero: his parents were killed by the evil government's forces, who were in search of something he has, or can obtain. The thing contributes to a superweapon of some sort. He was not at home when the evil forces arrived because he was at Kashi station shopping for power converters.

Edited by Blank
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Don't forget the prophecy about the hero being THE CHOSEN ONE

"Alright, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade - make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager. Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons. Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons. I'm going to to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!"

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Don't forget the prophecy about the hero being THE CHOSEN ONE

He's already a reincarnated former hero and the son of a lich (possibly after aforesaid lich shacked up with Bimbo - divine parentage being A Good Thing after all) - I'm not sure how much more CHOSEN a CHOSEN ONE can get... Maybe they have the magic amulet the lich needs, and... erm, a scrap of paper written in an ancient and forgotten tongue that describes his parentage favourably (which everyone will believe, naturally). He is, after all, the son of a very stupid goddess and a lich with a serious need for coffee.

This particularly rapid, unintelligible patter isn't generally heard, and if it is, it doesn't matter.

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Point is people shouldn't call him by his name, but by THE CHOSEN ONE .

"Alright, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade - make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager. Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons. Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons. I'm going to to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!"

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The hero should of course also go on a quest for a mythical, huge two-handed sword (called for instance Foecleaver, Deathbringer or Skullsplitter) necessary to vanquish the Evil and that only he, the chosen one, can lift and cuts through both stone & flesh like a knife through butter. The mythical sword must contain of course the essence of all its former wielders, who were wannabe heroes that failed to retrieve the sword from its remote hiding place: the dreaded Death Mines of Kryadoon.

Edited by virumor

The ending of the words is ALMSIVI.

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The mythical sword must contain of course the essence of all its former wielders, who were wannabe heroes that failed to retrieve the sword from its remote hiding place: the dreaded Death Mines of Kryadoon.

 

"This is like some great fantasy!"

"Well, overkill is my middle name. And my last name. And all of my other names as well!"

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You guys do realize there's a difference between "setting" and "plot," right? Like, the Hero being the CHOSEN ONE is a piece of plot, whereas a country full of ape-men with a central american theme named Ifj'agy is setting.

 

I guess I don't get this thread.

 

Anyway, we should totally have there be a race of "ape-men," with some weird name or whatever, and then this race occupies literally every country that is not obviously European. Well, maybe we could make some kind of lizard-men who occupy the "Asian" countries. See, get it? Because the "human" characters occupy the Europe-based countries, whereas the monsters inhabit the non-European countries, just like in a lot of fantasy settings...

I don't post if I don't have anything to say, which I guess makes me better than the rest of your so-called "community." 8)
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You guys do realize there's a difference between "setting" and "plot," right? Like, the Hero being the CHOSEN ONE is a piece of plot, whereas a country full of ape-men with a central american theme named Ifj'agy is setting.

 

I guess I don't get this thread.

I know, but I gave up on them noticing after the 3rd page. :(

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Point is people shouldn't call him by his name, but by THE CHOSEN ONE .

Particularly in the obligatory gratuitous HAWT SECKS scene.

This particularly rapid, unintelligible patter isn't generally heard, and if it is, it doesn't matter.

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Point is people shouldn't call him by his name, but by THE CHOSEN ONE .

Particularly in the obligatory gratuitous HAWT SECKS scene.

I always chose the name Swallow Dickinson in FO 2. Or Hans Regenkurt in the fan translation. And no, I won't tell what that means. :(

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Oh, and there should be a human kingdom centered around horses, usually in an area of wide open plains.

"Alright, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade - make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager. Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons. Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons. I'm going to to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!"

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Oh, and there should be a human kingdom centered around horses, usually in an area of wide open plains.

I really want to make a pun on Rihanna/Rohan, but I can't think of any. :-

This particularly rapid, unintelligible patter isn't generally heard, and if it is, it doesn't matter.

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I have to wonder, should our Earth be flat?

"Alright, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade - make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager. Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons. Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons. I'm going to to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!"

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I have to wonder, should our Earth be flat?

Nah, just undefined. There are no borders so you can always draw in new enemies that the plucky heroes overcome. Usually with a very high tech level that will wreak havoc but still suck compared to a sword.

Victor of the 5 year fan fic competition!

 

Kevin Butler will awesome your face off.

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I think it should be concave, so everything winds up rolling into the middle.

"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

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I think it should be concave, so everything winds up rolling into the middle.

An excellent suggestion.

 

There should also be a large desert with a giant red mountain in the middle, inhabited by a strange species of desert-nymph, who entrap people to come and rest under it, only to terrify them away again with tiny amounts of dust. And then shoot them for sport.

This particularly rapid, unintelligible patter isn't generally heard, and if it is, it doesn't matter.

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I think it should be concave, so everything winds up rolling into the middle.

An excellent suggestion.

 

There should also be a large desert with a giant red mountain in the middle, inhabited by a strange species of desert-nymph, who entrap people to come and rest under it, only to terrify them away again with tiny amounts of dust. And then shoot them for sport.

 

I like it. Damn. We've just violated the whole object of the exercise. :lol:

"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

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Not to forget, the hero should suddenly turn from a schmuck, barely able to lift a shovel, into a master swordsman just because some powerful villain taunted him how he had butchered the population of the hero's village.

The ending of the words is ALMSIVI.

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