Cinema and Movie Thread: coming at you at 24fps

[Gfted1]

I watched the trailer and suffered a crit to Int:

 

 

[Bartimaeus]

3 hours ago, Keyrock said:

Cade: The Tortured Crossing (2022) - Neil Breen's magnum opus. You've not lived until you've seen Neil Breen fight a CGI white tiger. Also, there's a dance interlude because reasons. This movie is entirely green screened and the quality is up to the standards you would expect from Breen. I don't know how he keeps doing it. We're lucky to get 1 awesomely terrible movie out of most people, Neil is 6 for 6.

Someone made a clip of him fighting the tiger and I was impressed by how decent his special effects have gotten. Well, not really, but relative to what I saw in some of his previous films - it looked like an early 2000s 3D video game fight, but it still looked hilarious, so that was good.

Edited February 20 by Bartimaeus

[Keyrock]

In this latest movie Neil learned the art of using fog or blur effects to mask how ****ty the green screen looks. I mean, it still looks laughably bad, but the fog does help.

[PK htiw klaw eriF]

This is beyond a crit to int, this is on the same tier as binging a trash shonen anime until 2am.

 Anyways.....

Goodburger 2 (2023)

I think I saw the first one as a kid. I guess I could see how kids would like it, but honestly it was just boring and annoying. 

Dark Harvest (2023)

It's a solid B-movie horror. There's some questionable cgi for the monster but it's a decent enough ride for what it is. Somewhat reminds me of Johnny Guitar (1954) in the sense that it feels more like a dream of the 50s/60s small town midwest US rather than trying to be an accurate depiction of it in the way Johnny Guitar was of Westerns. The soundtrack is also really good.

[bugarup]

That trailer looks like one of those FMV adventure games from the nineties, like Phantasmagoria 2. And I would love to see Noah Antwiler's Lets Play of this movie 

[Amentep]

17 hours ago, Keyrock said:

the quality is up to the standards you would expect from Breen. 

[Malcador]

8 hours ago, bugarup said:

That trailer looks like one of those FMV adventure games from the nineties, like Phantasmagoria 2. And I would love to see Noah Antwiler's Lets Play of this movie 

Phantasmagoria is superior by far.  Antwiler never did get around to making a movie with the money he leeched did he ?

[Keyrock]

It's been said jokingly before, but after having seen Cade: The Tortured Crossing and all of Neil Breen's previous movies, there is a possibility that Neil is a secret genius and this is the greatest long con prank. If so, Andy Kaufman would be proud. There are times where he kinda sorta almost winks at the audience, but then much of the rest of the time it seems like he's playing it straight, or, at least, that's how it feels to me. After 20 years and 6 SELF FUNDED, FEATURE LENGTH, PROFESSIONAL movies, I still honestly don't know if Neil is in on the joke. I mean, by now you'd think he'd HAVE TO be aware... And yet he keeps making gems like this and, as we've seen, it's almost impossible to make a good terrible movie on purpose. The great terrible movies pretty much always come from people genuinely trying to make a good movie and failing spectacularly. The way I see it, there are 3 possibilities:

1) Neil has inexplicably over nearly 20 years not gotten wind of the fact that his movies are terrible and people are poking fun at them.

2) Neil has figured out that people make fun of his movies but he is delusional enough to think that he is making great movies and everyone else is wrong.

3) This has been one extremely long and UTTERLY BRILLIANT prank with Neil playing a Sacha Baron Cohen-esque character.

#2 (pun intended) is the most likely scenario, but I'm not eliminating the possibility of #3.

Edited February 20 by Keyrock

[Malcador]

Breen needs to get Steve Seagal involved.

[bugarup]

4 hours ago, Malcador said:

Phantasmagoria is superior by far.  Antwiler never did get around to making a movie with the money he leeched did he ?

No idea, I only know him from that Spoony Experiment LP of Phantasmagoria 2. Which has definitely better acting than Breen's film, but kinda similar cinematography.

[majestic]

6 hours ago, Keyrock said:

It's been said jokingly before, but after having seen Cade: The Tortured Crossing and all of Neil Breen's previous movies, there is a possibility that Neil is a secret genius and this is the greatest long con prank. If so, Andy Kaufman would be proud. There are times where he kinda sorta almost winks at the audience, but then much of the rest of the time it seems like he's playing it straight, or, at least, that's how it feels to me. After 20 years and 6 SELF FUNDED, FEATURE LENGTH, PROFESSIONAL movies, I still honestly don't know if Neil is in on the joke. I mean, by now you'd think he'd HAVE TO be aware... And yet he keeps making gems like this and, as we've seen, it's almost impossible to make a good terrible movie on purpose. The great terrible movies pretty much always come from people genuinely trying to make a good movie and failing spectacularly. The way I see it, there are 3 possibilities:

1) Neil has inexplicably over nearly 20 years not gotten wind of the fact that his movies are terrible and people are poking fun at them.

2) Neil has figured out that people make fun of his movies but he is delusional enough to think that he is making great movies and everyone else is wrong.

3) This has been one extremely long and UTTERLY BRILLIANT prank with Neil playing a Sacha Baron Cohen-esque character.

#2 (pun intended) is the most likely scenario, but I'm not eliminating the possibility of #3.

4) Like many a true genius artist he simply is not recognized in his own ignorant age. It is for future generations to truly appreciate Neil Breen's works.

[PK htiw klaw eriF]

13 minutes ago, majestic said:

4) Like many a true genius artist he simply is not recognized in his own ignorant age. It is for future generations to truly appreciate Neil Breen's works.

5) Neil Breen is a collective hallucination.

[Malcador]

 

[Gromnir]

in the past ten years, other than this board, we have heard neil breen mentioned in conversation exactly once; were a weird tangent from a comment about burton's ed wood. three o' the five people at the table didn't even get the neil breen reference.

regardless, we suffer the same guilt from watching breen be breen as we do when we rubberneck when passing an accident on the highway. am self honest enough to admit am only looking to see the bloodshed... metaphorical in the case o' breen. the guy is a walking, talking, breathing cry for help, but in response we chortle and guffaw... or at least roll our eyes. watching breen only for the voyeuristic car crash quality makes us feel bad 'bout our self... if only a little.

HA! Good Fun!

 

[Gorth]

Never heard of Neil Breen before, but sounds like another guy I have heard of, Tommy Wiseau.

He made a movie ("The Room" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Room), that was so bad someone created a drama documentary about it's making ("The Disaster Artist" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Disaster_Artist). When you're so bad it's interesting?

Edit: A friend of mine persuaded me to watch The Room, so we could appreciate The Disaster Artist... with friends like these

 

[Gromnir]

1 hour ago, Gorth said:

Never heard of Neil Breen before, but sounds like another guy I have heard of, Tommy Wiseau.

 

 

the room were specific mentioned in the ed wood discussion we referenced in our previous post. in the pantheon o' so bad it's entertaining, the room is skyfather rank. people know the room. neil breen? in our experience, not so much... and am ok with that.

HA! Good Fun!

 

 

[bugarup]

"So hey, Hollywood Fatcat 1, I hear viewers are getting tired of endless sequels and reboots, profits drop, we need to do something, but damn that's such a great formula, wonder if we can reinvent it somehow?"

"I got ya, Hollywood Fatcat 2:"

The Beatles: Sir Sam Mendes to direct four films - one about each band member

[Keyrock]

9 hours ago, Gorth said:

Never heard of Neil Breen before, but sounds like another guy I have heard of, Tommy Wiseau.

He made a movie ("The Room" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Room), that was so bad someone created a drama documentary about it's making ("The Disaster Artist" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Disaster_Artist). When you're so bad it's interesting?

Edit: A friend of mine persuaded me to watch The Room, so we could appreciate The Disaster Artist... with friends like these

 

Tommy Wiseau is an interesting point of comparison to Neil Breen in that it shines a light on what makes Neil Breen so rare. The Room is one of the most famous awesome terrible movies, even people not specifically into terrible movies have heard of it and some have even seen it. Some years after making The Room Tommy Wiseau caught on to the fact that his movie was terrible but it was a big hit as a cult movie because people has a wonderful time laughing at it. He then changed his tune to "it was a dark comedy all along, it was meant to be funny"; sure it was. Since then, Tommy Wiseau has tried to capitalize on the popularity of The Room by making several more movies and shows and they've all been absolute garbage; not fun garbage, just garbage. The reason is that he has been purposely trying to make awesomely terrible movies and shows and, as I've written before, that virtually never works, it pretty much always comes off as phony and forced and the bad acting and terrible dialogue aren't funny when it's obvious that they are terrible on purpose. Unintentional comedy needs to be, well, unintentional to work. While it is theoretically possible to purposely create comedy that feels like unintentional comedy, that is of an extremely high degree of difficulty to pull off. 

Neil Breen, on the other hand, has now made 6 movies over nearly 20 years and has somehow seemingly remained pure. That's why I wrote my 3 possibilities before.

Quote

 

1) Neil has inexplicably over nearly 20 years not gotten wind of the fact that his movies are terrible and people are poking fun at them.

2) Neil has figured out that people make fun of his movies but he is delusional enough to think that he is making great movies and everyone else is wrong.

3) This has been one extremely long and UTTERLY BRILLIANT prank with Neil playing a Sacha Baron Cohen-esque character.

 

I didn't write those as a joke. #1 I'm eliminating, I can't fathom the possibility that he hasn't caught on to the fact that his movies are considered terrible, albeit awesomely terrible; not in an age when the internet exists. That leaves #2 and #3, in both cases he's aware of his movies' reputation. In #2 he is delusional enough that he thinks everyone else is wrong and his movies are great or he just needs to tweak a few things and he'll really knock it out of the park the next time and everyone will see his genius. To me this is the most likely scenario making Breen a modern day Ed Wood of sorts. #3 is highly unlikely because it would require what I wrote about above, making unintentional comedy intentionally, and the degree of difficulty of that is extraordinarily high.

The point is that Tommy Wiseau made 1 awesomely terrible movie, albeit one of the greatest examples of an awesomely terrible movie, and nothing but trash since. Neil Breen keeps making awesomely terrible movies one after another. It's an impressive feat regardless of why or how he is doing it.

[Raithe]

[Keyrock]

4 minutes ago, Raithe said:

Eli Roth is an interesting choice for this, wouldn't have been my first choice, I would have gone with either James Gunn or Tim Miller. He is a capable director, though, and I think Tim Miller had some involvement in this. Will they be able to ride the line and make the characters funny but endearing rather than obnoxious and insufferable? That is a line that the game series itself has ridden, and crossed at times. This has potential but I can also see it going horribly horribly wrong. I'm hoping for the best; while I don't much care for the game series I do like Cate Blanchett and I'm always happy when she gets to ham it up, as opposed to her usual dramatic roles. I bet Jamie Lee Curtis is in the movie for a grand total of 5 minutes.

[Amentep]

4 hours ago, bugarup said:

"So hey, Hollywood Fatcat 1, I hear viewers are getting tired of endless sequels and reboots, profits drop, we need to do something, but damn that's such a great formula, wonder if we can reinvent it somehow?"

"I got ya, Hollywood Fatcat 2:"

The Beatles: Sir Sam Mendes to direct four films - one about each band member

Kinda stacking all the big names in the first wave.  Should have been like -

Wave 1: Paul, George, Pete Best, George Martin (Streaming: Stuart Sutcliffe Season 1)

Wave 2: John, Ringo, Tommy Moore, Geoff Emerick & Glyn Johns buddy movie (Streaming: Stuart Sutcliffe Season 2, Yoko Ono Season 1)

Clearly they're not thinking about what the Beatles Cinematic Universe could really be.

[Keyrock]

43 minutes ago, Amentep said:

Clearly they're not thinking about what the Beatles Cinematic Universe could really be.

Can we, down the line, get a Traveling Wilburys movie tied into the BECU (Beatles Extended Cinematic Universe)? It could be a crossover event with the HECU (Heartbreakers Extended Cinematic Universe).

The smarter way to go would be to create the TWCU (Traveling Wilburys Cinematic Universe, colloquially known as the Wilburyverse). They could do Beatles movies, Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers movies, Electric Light Orchestra movies, Bob Dylan movies, and Roy Orbison movies, all culminating in an Avengers-style Traveling Wilburys team-up movie.

Edited February 21 by Keyrock

[bugarup]

42 minutes ago, Keyrock said:

Eli Roth is an interesting choice for this, wouldn't have been my first choice, I would have gone with either James Gunn or Tim Miller. He is a capable director, though, and I think Tim Miller had some involvement in this. Will they be able to ride the line and make the characters funny but endearing rather than obnoxious and insufferable? That is a line that the game series itself has ridden, and crossed at times. This has potential but I can also see it going horribly horribly wrong. I'm hoping for the best; while I don't much care for the game series I do like Cate Blanchett and I'm always happy when she gets to ham it up, as opposed to her usual dramatic roles. I bet Jamie Lee Curtis is in the movie for a grand total of 5 minutes.

I'm more about Kate Blanchett of all people. Thought it was a photoshopped joke poster at first.

[Keyrock]

7 minutes ago, bugarup said:

I'm more about Kate Blanchett of all people. Thought it was a photoshopped joke poster at first.

People constantly misspelling Cate Blanchett makes me feel better about my own constant misspelling of Sam Neill.

[bugarup]

6 minutes ago, Keyrock said:

People constantly misspelling Cate Blanchett makes me feel better about my own constant misspelling of Sam Neill.

She totes looks like a Kate and not a Cate. So much that my brain glosses over the name printed on the poster that's like, in front of me right now.