Damn it, Nartwak & Raven have been compromised!
And I highly recommend some of you read the actual Zombie Survival Guide as it may just save your life in all this, I keep mine on me at all times.
Here are some excerts on general Zombie fights rules and use of weapons seeing as how this seems to be the topic of current discussion.
GENERAL RULES:
1. OBEY THE LAW!: Regulations governing weapons such as
frearms and explosives depend on your location. Follow them to
the letter. Punishment may range from a sizable fine to incarceration.
In any case, the resulting criminal record is something you
cannot afford! When the dead rise, law enforcement must look upon
you as a model citizen, someone to be trusted and left alone, not a
felon of questionable background who should be interrogated at the
first sign of trouble. Fomnately, as this chapter will show, simpler,
legal weapons will serve you much better than paramilitary death
machines.
2. TRAIN CONSTANTLY: No matter what weapon you choose,
from a simple machete to a semiautomatic rifle, it must become an
extension of your body. Practice as often as possible. If classes are
available, by all means sign up. Learning from qualified instructors
will save immense time and energy. If the device can he disassembled,
do so, both in sunlight and total darkness until you know every
pin, every spring, every curve and edge of that all-important
machine. With practice will come both experience and confidence,
two traits you must develop in order to successfully do battle with
the living dead. History has proven that a well-trained individual,
with nothing but a rock, has a better chance of survival than a novice
with the latest technological marvel.
3. CARE FOR YOUR TOOLS: Weapons, no matter how simple they
may be, must he cared for as if they were living things. Anyone with
firearm experience knows that inspection and cleaning are part of
everyday use. This also applies to close-combat weapons. Blades
need polish and rust protection. Grips need checking and maintenance.
Never abuse your tools or expose them to unnecessary damage.
If possible, have them tested regularly by experienced
professionals. These experts may detect early-stage defects imperceptible
to the amateur user.
4. BEWARE DISPLAY ITEMS: Many companies offer a variety of
replica weapons, such as swords, bows, etc., that are meant merely
for decoration. Always research your chosen item thoroughly and
ensure that it is intended for actual use in the real world. Do not rely
solely on the company's word. "Battle ready" may mean the item
could withstand a few blows on a theatrical stage, or at some historical
fair, but it will snap in half during a life-or-death confrontation.
If resources permit, purchase a duplicate item and train with it
to the breaking point. Only then should you trust in its abilities.
5. DEVELOP THE FIRST WEAPON: The human body, if cared for
and trained properly, is the greatest weapon on earth. Americans are
notorious for their bad diet, lack of exercise, and relentless fetish for
labor-saving technology. As recognizable as the term "couch
potato" is, a more accurate term would be "cattle": fat, lazy, listless,
and ready to he eaten. Weapon No. 1, the biological tool that is our
body, can and must be transformed from prey to predator. Obey a
strict diet and physical-fitness regimen. Concentrate on cardiovascular
instead of strength-building exercise. Monitor any chronic
health conditions you may have, no matter how small. Even if your
worst ailment is allergies, treat them regularly! When a situation
does arise, you must know exactly what your body is capable of!
Study and master at least one martial art. Make sure its emphasis is
on escaping holds rather than delivering blows. Knowing how to
slip from a zombie's clutches is the single most important
can possess when yon find yourself in close combat.
CLOSE COMBAT
Hand-to-hand combat should almost always be avoided. Given a zombie's
lack of speed, it is much easier to run (or walk quickly) than stand
and fight. However, it may be necessary to destroy a zombie at close
quarters. When this happens, split-second timing is critical. A wrong
move, a moment's hesitation, and you may feel cold hands gripping
your arm, or sharp, broken teeth biting into your flesh. For this reason
above all, choosing a close-combat weapon is more important than any
other in this section.
1. BLUDGEONS
When using a blunt weapon, the goal is to cmsh the brain (remember,
the only way to kill a zombie is by destroying its brain). This is not as
easy as it sounds. The human skull is one of the hardest, most durable
surfaces in nature. So, of course, is the zombie's.
Extreme force is needed to fracture, let alone shatter
it. However, this must be done, and done with a
single, well-placed blow. Missing your target or I'I
failing to breach the bone will leave you with no
second chance.
Sticks, ax handles, and other wooden clubs are
good for knocking a zombie out of the way or beating
off an individual attack. What they lack is the
weight and strength necessaq
for a lethal strike. A section of lead pipe will work
/I for a single encounter but is too heavy for those on
the move. A sledgehammer has the same drawback
and also requires practice for its user to hit a moving
target. Aluminum bats are light enough to work
for one, maybe two fights, but are known to bend
after prolonged use. The standard, one-handed carpenter's
hammer has striking power but severely
limited reach. Its short handle allows a zombie to
grab your arm and pull it in. The police baton, made of acetate plastic
(in most cases), is sbong enough for any battle but lacks the lethal
power for a one-blow kill. (Note: This was intended in its design.)
The best bludgeon is a steel crowbar. Its relatively
lightweight and durable construction makes it ideal
for prolonged close combat. Its curved, semisharpened
edge also allows for a stabbing motion
through the eye socket, directly into the brain case. I%'
More than one survivor has reported killing zombies
in this manner. Another benefit of the crowbar is that
it may he necessary to pry open a door, shift a heavy
object, or perform other tasks for which it was originally
designed. None of these functions can be
accomplished with any of the previously mentioned items. Even
lighter and more durable than the steel crowbar is the titanium model,
now trickling into Western markets from Eastern Europe and the former
Soviet Union.
2. EDGED WEAPONS
Blades, in any form, have advantages and
disadvantages over bludgeons. Those
hat have enough strength to l i t the
skull rarely stand up after many repetitions.
For this reason, slicing, particularly
decapitation, serves almost the
same function as a head blow. (Note: The
severed head of a zombie is still able to
bite and must be regarded as a threat.)
The advantage of slicing over bludgeoning
is that it can make killing a zombie unnecesssuy. In some cases,
I simply chopping off a limb or severing the spine is enough to disable
! an undead assailant. (Note: Severing a limb also brings the possibility
of contact with the virus through the exposed area.)
The civilian ax can easily crnsh a zombie's skull, smashing through
bone and brain in one swing. Decapitation is equally easy, which is
why the ax has been the favored tool of executioners for centuries.
Connecting with a moving head, however, might be difficult.
Furthermore, if the swing ends in a total miss, you might be taken off
balance.
The smaller, one-handed hatchet is a good weapon of last resort. If
you find yourself cornered, and larger weapons are useless, a hatchet
blow will more than take care of an attacker.
The sword is the ideal edged weapon, but not every kind will suffice.
Foils, rapiers, and similar fencing weapons are not suited for slicing.
Their only possible use would be a direct stab through the eye
socket followed by a quick swirling action through the brain. This
motion, however, has been accomplished only once, by a Pained
I swordsman, and is therefore not recommended.
Single-handed long swords allow you a free hand for other tasks
such as opening a door or defending your body with a shield. Their
only drawback is the lack of swinging power. One arm may not have
the strength to slice through the thick cartilage between bones. Another
drawback is its user's notorious lack of accuracy. Scoring a flesh
wound anywhere on the body of a living opponent is one thing.
Making an exact, clean chop through the neck is something else altogether.
Double-handed swords could be considered the best in their class,
providing the strength and accuracy for perfect decapitation. Of this
type, the Japanese Samurai Katana ranks first. Its weight (three to five
pounds) is perfect for long-term conflicts, and its blade can sever the
toughest organic fiber.
In tight quarters, shorter blades hold the advantage. The Roman
Gladius is one choice, although combat-ready replicas are hard to find.
The Japanese Ninjite boasts a two-handed grip and, in genuine models,
renowned tempered steel. Both factors make it a superior weapon.
The common machete, because of its size, weight, and availability, is
probably your best choice. If possible, fmd the military type usually
sold a t h y surplus stores. Its steel tends to be of a higher quality, and
its blackened blade helps concealment at night.
3. MISCELLANEOUS HAND WEAPONS
Spears, pikes, and tridents serve to skewer a zombie, keeping it out of
reach but not necessarily scoring a kill. The chance of an eye-socket
stab is possible, hut remote. The medieval European halberd (an axspear
hybrid) may serve as a chopping weapon but, again, requires
great amounts of skill and practice to accomplish a decapitating blow.
Other than using them as bludgeons, or keeping your attacker at a distance,
these weapons serve little purpose.
Morning stars or "flails," a spiked ball chained to a rod, do basically
the same damage as a crowbar, albeit in a more dramatic way. The
owner swings the rod in a wide, circular motion, providing enough
momentum to bring the hall crashing through the skull of his or her
opponent. Using this weapon takes considerable skill, and it is therefore
not recommended.
The medieval European mace serves the same function as the standard
household hammer but without benefit of the latter's practical
uses. A mace cannot pry open a door or window, drive a chisel, or hammer
a nail. Attempting such an act could result in accidental injury.
Therefore, carry this medieval weapon only when no alternative is
available.
Knives are always useful, serving a variety of functions in a range
of situations. Unlike a hatchet, they can kill a zombie only when the
blade is stabbed through the temple, eye socket, or base of the skull.
On the flip side, knives almost always weigh less than hatchets and,
therefore, are better if you are on the move. When choosing a knife,
make sure the blade is no more than six inches long and always
smooth. Avoid serrated knives and saw-blade combinations found in
survival knives, as they tend to become lodged in their victims.
Imagine yourself stabbing one zombie through the temple and turning
to engage the other three ghouls but not being able to retrieve your
blade.
The trench spike is, without a doubt, the best compact anti-zombie
weapon on earth. It is a combination of a seven-inch steel spike for a
blade and brass knuckles for a handle. It was developed during the
vicious hand-to-hand combat of World War I, where soldiers killed
each other in trenches no wider than a few feet. Specifically, it was
designed to stab downward, through an enemy's steel helmet. Yon can
imagine how effective this weapon would be against a zombie. The
user could stab easily through a zombie's skull, withdraw cleanly and
quickly, then turn to either brain another zombie or, at the very least,
knock one over with a brass-knuckle punch to the face. Original models
are extremely rare, with barely a few remaining in museums and the
homes of private collectors. However, if accurate, detailed schematics
can be found, have one or perhaps two combat-ready, stress-tested
replicas made. They will be an investment you will never regret.
The Shaolin Spade
This weapon bears special mention in the anti-ghoul arsenal. It may
appear unconventional: a six-foot hardwood staff with a flat, bellshaped
blade on one end and an outward-facing crescent blade on the
other. Its roots date hack to a bronze-bladed agricultural tool used during
the Chinese Shang Dynasty (1766-1 122 B.C.E.). When Buddhism
migrated to China, the spade was adopted by Shaolin monks as both
tool and weapon. On several occasions, it has proven to be surprisingly
effective against the living dead. Thmstiug forward with either blade
will produce instant decapitation, while its length provides complete
safety for the user. This length does make it impractical for indoor
combat, and it should therefore be avoided in those situations. In open
spaces, however, nothing combines the safety of a spear with the
killing power of a katana sword like the Shaolin spade.
A variety of other hand weapons exist around the world, and space
does not permit the author to discuss each one individually. If you discover
an implement or tool that you think might make a good weapon,
ask yourself these questions:
1. Can it crush a skull in one blow?
2. If not, can it decapitate in said blow?
3. Is it easy to handle?
4. Is it light?
5. Is it durable?
Questions 3,4, and 5 will have to depend on your present situation.
Questions 1 and 2 are essential!
4. POWER TOOLS
Popular fiction has shown us the awesome, brutal power of the chainsaw.
Its lightning-quick, rotating teeth can easily slice through flesh
and bone, making the strength and skill required for manual weapons
unnecessary. Its roar might also give the owner a much-needed psychological
boost-empowerment in a situation where abject terror is
a given. How many horror movies have you seen in which this industrial
killing machine has spelled doom for anyone and anything it
touched? In reality, however, chainsaws and similar powered devices
rank extremely low on the list of practical zombie-killing weapons. For
starters, their fuel supply is finite. Once drained, they provide as much
protection as a hand-held stereo. Carrying extra fuel or power cells
leads to the second inherent problem: weight. The average chainsaw
weighs ten pounds, compared to a two-pound machete. Why increase
the chances of exhaustion? Safety must also be considered. One slip,
and the spinning teeth might be slicing through your skull just as easily
as your enemy's. L i e any machine, another problem is noise. A
chainsaw's distinctive roar, even if running for just a few seconds, will
be enough to broadcast to every zombie within earshot, "Dinner is
served!"
SLINGS AND ARROWS
It is a commonly held notion that using non-f~earrnb allistics such as
bows and slingshots are a waste of energy and resources. In most
cases, this is true. However, if used properly, such a weapon will
enable you to score a kill at long range with little or no sound. What if
you're attempting to escape an infested area, yon tum a comer, and a
single ghoul blocks your path? It's too far away for a hand weapon.
Before you get close, its moans will betray your position. The crack of
a firearm will sound an even louder alarm. What do you do? In cases
like these, certain silent weapons may be your only option.
1. SLING
Made famous from the biblical story of David and Goliath, this
weapon has been part of our heritage since prehistoric times. The user
places a smooth, round stone in the wider center of a thin leather strip,
grabs both ends, swings it repeatedly in a rapid circle, then releases
one end of the strip, loosing the stone at his target. Theoretically, it is
possible to dispatch a zombie with a silent headshot at just under thirty
paces. However, even with months of training, the chances of scoring
such a hit are one in ten at best. With no experience, the wielder would
be better off just throwing stones.
2. SLINGSHOT
A descendant of the leather strap, the modem slingshot has at least ten
times the accuracy of its ancestor, the sling. What it lacks is punch.
Small projectiles fired from a modem slingshot simply do not have the
force, even at minimum range, to penetrate a zombie's skull. Using this
weapon might serve only to alert a ghoul to your presence.
3. THE BLOWGUN
Given that poison has no effect on the undead, discount this weapon
entirely.
4. SHURIKEN
These small, multipoint devices were used in feudal Japan to pierce a
human skull. In appearance they resemble a steel, two-dimensional
replica of a shining star, hence their nickname, "throwing stars." In
expert hands, they could easily bring down a zombie. However, as with
many weapons discussed, the throwing star requires great expertise.
Unless you are one of the few masters of this art (only a handful can
still claim this title), refrain from such an exotic method.
As with shuriken, these short-range weapons require weeks of practice
to hit something as large as a human body and months to hit something
as small as a human head. Only a dedicated expert could even hope for
a reliable zombie kill. The time and energy spent training could be
much more productive if applied to a conventional weapon. Remember,
you have a variety of skills to learn, and not aU the time in the world to
learn them. Don't waste those valuable hours attempting to master a
third-rate weapon.
6. Tm LONG OR COMPOUND BOW
To be blunt, hitting a zombie
through the head with an arrow is
an extremely difficult feat. Even
with compound bows and modem
sights, only experienced archers
have a chance of making a direct
shot. The only practical use for
this weapon is the delivery of
incendiaq arrows. For starting
fires silently, at long distance,
nothing works better than a flaming arrow. This manner of attack can,
and has, been used to set undead individuals on fue. The targeted zombie
will not know enough to pull the mow fiom its body and might,
given the right circumstances, bum other ghouls before succumbing to
the flames. (See "Fire," pages 51-54, for appropriate use.)
7. THE CROSSBOW
The power and accuracy of a modem crossbow can send a "bolt"
(crossbow mow) clean through a zombie's skull at over a quarter mile.
Small wonder it has been dubbed "the perfect silent killer."
Marksmanship is important, hut no more so than with a rifle.
Reloading requires time and strength, but this should he unnecessary.
The crossbow is a sniper's weapon, not a crowd-stopper. Use only
against one zombie. Any more, and you might find yourself grabbed
and mauled before you have time to load another bolt. As for bolts,
either triangular or bullet-shape will suffice. For increased accuracy, a
telescopic sight should be added. Unfortunately, the size and weight of
any good crossbow will make it the primary weapon. Therefore,
choose one only when the situation permits, such as traveling in a
group, defending your home, or when no silenced frearms are available.
8. THE HAND BOW
Smaller, one-handed crossbows can serve as a complement to your primary
weapon. Carrying one means that a compact, silent weapon will
always be on band if needed. In comparison to the larger crossbow,
hand bows have inferior accuracy, power, and range. Using one means
getting closer to the target. This increases not only the danger but the
risk of detection, which, in turn, negates the need for a silent weapon.
Use the hand bow carefully, and sparingly.
FIREARMS
Of all the weapons discussed in this book, nothing is more important
than your primary firearm. Keep it cleaned, keep it oiled, keep it
loaded, keep it close. With a cool bead, steady band, and plenty of
ammunition, one human is more than a match for an army of zombies.
Choosing a fuearm must be an exact science, with every variable
considered. What is your primary goal: defense, attack, or flight? What
outbreak class are you facing? How many people, if any, are in your
group? What environment is your battleground? Different firearms
serve different functions. Almost none serve all. Selecting the perfect
tools means dispelling conventional doctrines of warfare that have
worked so well against our fellow humans. Sadly, we know all too well
how to kill each other. Killing zombies-that's another story.
1. THE HEAVY MACHINE GUN
Since World War I, this invention has revolutionized human conflict.
Its mechanism allows a storm of lead to be discharged in seconds.
These tactics may be invaluable on the human battlefield but are a
feckless waste against the living dead. Remember, yon are going for a
head shot: one bullet, precisely placed. As the machine gun is designed
for saturation fire, it may take hundreds, even thousands of rounds for
one, randomly lethal shot. Even aiming the machine gun as a rifle (a
tactic nsed by U.S. special forces) is a losing proposition. Why hit a
zombie with a well-aimed five-round burst when one well-aimed rifle
shot produces the same result? In the 1970% one school of thought
favored the "scythe theory": If a machine gun is placed at the head
level of an undead crowd, it could mow them down with one long
burst. This argument has been debunked-ghouls, like the humans
they nsed to be, are not all the same height. Even if some are destroyed,
at least half will survive to close on your position. But what about the
massive body damage caused by these weapons? Won't a machine gun
have enough punch to rip a body in half, and doesn't that negate the
need for a head shot? Yes and no. The standard 5.56-millimeter round
used by the U.S. Army SAW (Squad Automatic Weapon) does have the
ability to snap a human spine, sever limbs, or yes, tear a zombie's form
in two. This, however, does not mean a head shot is unnecessary. For
one, the chance of dismembering a zombie is slight and therefore
requires large amounts of ammunition. For another, unless the brain is
destroyed, the zombie itself is still alive-crippled, yes, perhaps even
immobile, but still alive. Why give yourself the umecessary need of
having to finish off a mass of writhing and potentially dangerous body
parts?
2. THE E SUBMACHINGEUN
The problem presented by this weapon is similar to that of the heavy
machine gun: ammo expended versus living dead dispatched.
However, when fighting in tight quarters, the submachine gun finds its
niche. The short barrel makes it easier to handle than a rifle, but the
folding stock gives it much more support than a pistol. Always be sure
to keep it on the single-shot setting. As we discussed, full auto is simply
a waste of ammo. Also, be sure to aim it from the shoulder.
Shooting from the hip will produce nothing more than a loud noise and
a clean miss. One disadvantage is poor accuracy at long range.
Because the submachine gun was designed as a close-combat weapon,
you will have to get much closer to a zombie than if you were carrying
a rifle or assault weapon. This would normally not be a problem
except that submachine guns, like all auto and semiautomatic
weapons, have the possibility of jamming while in use. At short range,
I you may be putting yourself at unnecessary risk. This is the only reason
to discount a submachine gun as your primary weapon.
3. THE ASSAULT RIFLE
This weapon was invented originally to bridge the gap between the
rifle and submachine gun, offering both range and rapid fre. Wouldn't
these traits make it ideal against the undead? Not really. Although
range and accuracy are needed, rapid tire, as we've seen, is not. Even
though an assault rifle can be set for semiautomatic, just like a submachine
gun, the temptation to go full auto still exists, as it does with
a submachine gun. When fighting for your life, it may simply be too
! easy to flip the switch to "rock 'n' roll," no matter how wasteful and
useless this might be. If you do choose an assault rifle as your primaq
weapon, keep in mind the basic questions that apply to all firearms:
I What is its range? What is its accuracy? Is the appropriate ammunition
1 readily available? How easy is it to clean and maintain?
To answer some of these questions, it is best to examine two
extreme examples. The U.S. Army M16Al is considered by many to
be the worst assault rifle ever invented. Its overcomplicated mecha44
nism is both difficult to clean and prone to jamming. Adjusting the
sight, something that must be done eveIy time a target shifts its range,
requires the use of a nail, ballpoint pen, or similar device. What if you
didn't have one, or lost it as several dozen zombies shambled steadily
toward you? The delicate plastic stock of the M16A1 obviates bayonet
use, and by attempting to use it as such you would risk shattering
the hollow, spring-loaded stock. This is a critical flaw. If you were confronted
by multiple ghouls and your Al jammed, you would be unable
to use it as a last-ditch hand-to-hand weapon. In the 1960s, the MI6
(originally the AR-15) was designed for Air Force base security. For
political reasons typical of the militiuy-industrial complex (you buy
my weapon, you get my vote and my campaign contribution), it was
adopted as the principal infantry weapon for the U.S. Army. So poor
was its early battle record that during the Vietnam War, communist
guerrillas refused to take them from dead Americans. The newer
M16A2, although somewhat of an improvement, is still regarded as a
second-class weapon. If given the choice, emulate the Vietcong and
ignore the M16 entirely.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, the Soviet AK-47 is considered
the best assault rifle ever made. Although heavier than the M16
(10.58 pounds versus 7 pounds) and possessing a considerably harder
kick, this weapon is famous for its rugged efficiency and sturdy construction.
Its wide, spacious firing mechanism prevents jamming from
di or sand. In hand-to-hand combat, you could either stab a zombie
through the eye socket with the weapon's bayonet or use the solid,
steel-backed wooden stock to smash through a zombie's skull. If imiThe
tation is the sincerest form of flattery, then several nations have chosen
to flatter the AK with either direct copies (Chinese Type 56) or
modified designs (Israeli Galil). Again, although the assault rifle is not
ideal for defense against the living dead, a member of the AK-47 family
will be your best bet.
4. Tm BOLT-/LEVER-ACTION RIFLE
A product of the mid-nineteenth century, these weapons are often
regarded as obsolete. Why use a hunting rifle when you can own a submachine
gun? Such arrogance is simply unfounded, its roots based in
techno-chauvinism and the absence of practical experience. A wellmade,
expertly used bolt- or lever-action rifle offers a defense against
the living dead that is as good if not better than the latest military hardware.
A rifle's single-shot capability forces the user to make each
round count, increasing the chance of a hit. This feature also eliminates
even the possibility of "rock 'n' rolling," and therefore preserving
ammunition whether the user intends to or not. A third reason is the
relative easiness to clean and operate a rifle, something that must not
be overlooked. Hunting rifles are designed for a civilian market.
Manufacturers know that if they are too complex, sales will plummet.
A fourtb and final reason is ready availability of ammunition. As there
are more civilian gun shops than military armories in the United States
(a pattern not shared by the rest of the world), yon will find it easier to
obtain ammunition for a hunting rifle than an assault weapon or submachine
gun. This will prove critical in any of the scenarios covered
in the latter part of this manual.
When choosing a bolt- or lever-action rifle, try to find an older, military
version if possible. This does not mean that civilian models are
inferior weapons-quite the opposite-but almost all military boltaction
rifles were designed for use in hand-to-hand combat. Make sure
you take the time to study the use of a rifle for this purpose. Simply
swinging it like a club would destroy any weapon, military and civilian
alike. Manuals are available that explain how to use a rifle as a
bludgeon. Even old war films can demonstrate how deadly these
weapons are without firing a shot. Examples of bolt-action military
rifles are the U.S. Springfield, the British Lee Enfield, and the German
Mauser Kar 98k. Many of these still exist, some in good working
order. Before choosing, however, make sure the appropriate ammunition
is in ready supply. Having an impressive, bolt-action military rifle
will do no good if the only rounds available fit civilian models.
5. THE SEMIAUTOMATIC R ~ E
Since its debut, this weapon has shown itself to be a superior zombie
killer. Given the possibility of wasting ammunition (a round is
expended every time the trigger is pulled), a fair amount of discipline
is required. However, this option can be a blessing when engaging
multiple targets. In one recorded instance, a trapped woman dispatched
fifteen attacking zombies in twelve seconds! (See "1947 A.D., Jarvie,
British Columbia," pages 223-24.) This story illustrates the potential
of a semiautomatic rifle. For close combat or for people on the run, the
semiautomatic carbine serves the same function as the larger model.
Although possessing half the range, the carbine tends to be lighter and
easier to c q , and uses smaller ammunition. Either type will serve
you well, depending on the situation. When choosing a semiautomatic
weapon, the World War I1 M1 Garand or M1 Carbine are, in many
ways, superior to contemporary weapons. This may be surprising, but
these older military weapons were designed to survive the greatest
conflict in history. Not only did they meet this task admirably, but the
Garand remained the U.S. Army's main rifle through the Korean conflict,
while the Carbine saw action up until the first years of Vietnam.
Another advantage of the M1 Garand is its secondary role as a handto-
hand weapon (in WWII, bayonet use was still considered a vital part
of combat). Although no longer in production, many Garands still
remain on the market with ammunition widely available. The h41
Carbine is, amazingly, still in production. Its light weight and short
muzzle perfectly suit this weapon to indoor combat or long journeys
on foot. Other, more modem choices include the Ruger Mini-30,
Ruger Mini-14, and the Chinese Type 56 (a copy of the Soviet SKS
carbine, not to be confused with the assault rifle of the same name). If
discipline can be maintained, you will not find a better weapon than
the semiautomatic rifle.
6. THE SHOTGUN
At close range against human attackers, this weapon reigns supreme.
Against the living dead, this is not entirely true. A good twelve-gauge
shotgun can literally blow a zombie's head off. However, the longer
the range, the greater the pellet dispersal pattern, and the lesser chance
of skull penetration. A solid slug would have the same effect as a rifle,
even at greater range (provided the barrel is long enough), but in that
case, why not just use a rifle? What shotguns do possess is stopping
power. The scattering shot acts as a solid wall, whereas a rifle bullet
might pass clean through or miss the target altogether. If you are cornered,
or on the run, and need time to escape, a good shotgun blast can
send several zombies sprawling. The downside of a shotgun is that the
large, twelve-gauge shells are bulky and therefore burdensome when ~ ~
traveling and leave less room for other equipment. This must be considered
if a long journey is required.
7. THE PISTOL
Americans have a special relationship with handguns. They seem to
appear in every movie, every TV show, every pop novel, every comic
book. Our heroes have always carried them, from the Old West lawman
to the gritty urban cop. Gangsters rap about them; liberals and
conservatives fight over them. Parents shelter children from them and
manufacturers make untold fortunes from them. Possibly more than
the automobile, the handgun is synonymous with America. But how
useful is this cultural icon against a swarm of newly risen flesh-eaters?
In truth, not very. Unlike our fictional heroes, the average person may
have difficulty hitting anything, let alone something as small and
mobile as a zombie's head. Throw in the obvious emotional strain of
undead combat, and the possibility of a successful shot ranks one step
above negotiating with your attacker. Studies have shown that of all
wasted ballistic wounds-e.g., those that struck a zombie in a nonlethal
way-73 percent came from some type of handgun. A laser sight
increases the odds of accurate aim hut does nothing to steady a shaky
wrist. Where handguns do come in handy is in extreme circumstances.
If yon are grabbed by a zombie, a pistol can be a life-saver. Pressing
its muzzle against the undead temple and squeezing the trigger takes
no skill and ensures a positive kill. The fact that handguns are small,
light, and easy to cany make them attractive as a secondary weapon
for any scenario. If your primary weapon is a carbine, this adds the
possibility of shared ammo and lighter load. For these reasons, a pistol
should always be carried when confronting ghouls, but as a backup
only. Never forget that many dismembered, half-eaten corpses have
been discovered with these wonder weapons still clutched in their cold,
dead hands.
8. .22-CALIBERRIM FIRE WEAPONS
These weapons (rifle or pistol) fire a round no wider than a few millimeters
and no longer than an inch. In normal circumstances it is usnally
relegated to practice, competition, or the hunting of small game.
In an attack by the undead, however, the diminutive .22 rimfire stands
proudly alongside its heavier cousins. The small size of its rounds
allows you to cany three times as much ammunition. This also makes
the weapon itself lighter, a godsend on long treks through ghoulinfested
territory. The ammunition is also easy to manufacture and
plentiful throughout the country. No shop that sells any kind of ammunition
would fail to stock .22 rimfire. 'ho disadvantages present themselves,
however, when the use of a .22 is considered. The small round
has zero stopping power. People (including former President Reagan)
have been shot with .22s and not even realized it until later. A ghoul ~ taking a round to the chest would not even he slowed, let alone
i stopped, by this puny projectile. Another problem is the lack of skull
penetration at longer ranges. With a .22, you might have to get a little
too close for comfort, a fact that could increase stress and degrade the
odds of a kill. By the same token, the lack of power in a round fired
by a .22 has been called a blessing in disguise. Without the force to
punch through the back of a zombie's skull, .22 bullets have been
known to ricochet inside the brain case, doing as much damage as any
.45. So when it comes time to arm yourself against a looming zombie
menace, do not discount the small, almost toylike nature of this nimble,
efficient fireann.
9. A c c ~ s s o ~ ~ ~ s
Silencers, if attainable, can he a vital attachment to your firearm. Their
ability to muffle noise obviates the need for a how, sling, or other nonballistic
weapon (essential if on the move).
A telescopic sight can increase aim immeasurably, especially for
long-range sniper attacks. Laser sights, on the surface, may be your
best bet. After all, how hard is it to place a red dot on a ghoul's forehead?
The disadvantage is limited battery life. The same goes for
night-vision scopes. Although they allow for accurate, long-range hits
on zombies after dark, they become nothing more than useless black
tubes when the power runs out. Conventional glass and metal sights
are the preferable accessory. They may not be fancy, and they may lack
the cachet of electronics, but these basic instruments will never let you
down.
RANGE VERSUS ACCURACY
Studies have shown that, given the trauma of battle. the closer a
human is to a zombie. the wilder his shooting will be. When practicing
with your firearm(s). establish a maximum range for repeated
accuracy. Practice against moving targets in ideal (stress-free) conditions.
Once that range is fixed. divide it by half. This will be your effective
kill zone during an actual attack. Make sure the undead do not
move closer than this zone. as your accuracy will erode. If engaging
a group. make sure to hit those that enter the zone first before dispatching
the others. Do not discount this advice no matter what your
previous experience has been. Street-hardened police officers. decorated
combat veterans. even -cold-blooded" murderers have ended
up as well-chewed meat because they believed in their "nerves" and
not their training.
EXPLOSIVES
Question: What could be better than hurling a hand grenade at a mass
of approaching zombies? Answer: almost anything. Anti-personnel
explosives kill mainly by shrapnel, metal shards tearing through vital
organs. As this will not affect zombies, and the chance of shrapnel penetrating
the skull is slim, grenades, bombs, and other explosive tools
are inefficient weapons.
These devices should not be completely discounted, though. For
blasting through doors, creating instant barricades, or even scattering
zombie mobs, nothing works better than a jar of gunpowder.
FIRE
The living dead have no fear of fire. Waving an open flame in a ghoul's
face will do nothing to slow or impede its advance. Zombies who have
caught fne will neither notice nor react to the engulfing flames in any
way. Too many humans have met with tragedy forfailing to understand
thatfire is no deterrent to zombies!
As a weapon, however, fire is still humanity's greatest ally.
Complete incineration is the best way to destroy a zombie once and for
all. Burning eliminates not only the body but all traces of Solanurn.
However, don't think a flamethrower and several Molotov ****tails
are the solution to all your problems. In actual combat, fire can be as
deadly a threat as it is a protector.
Flesh-human, undead, or othenvise-takes a long time to bum. In
the minutes or hours before a blazing zombie succumbs, it will become
a walking-or to be perfectly accurate, a shambling-torch. Several
cases have been recorded in which burning ghouls have done more
damage, even caused more deaths, than they would have with only
their fingernails and teeth.
Fire itself has no loyalty. Consider the flammable nature of your
surroundings, the chance of smoke inhalation, the possibility that a
blaze will act as a beacon for other zombies. All these factors must be
considered before such a powerful and unpredictable weapon is
unleashed.
For this reason, fire is mainly considered an attack or flight weapon,
and rarely used for static defense.
1. MOLOTOV ****TAILS
This term applies to any jar of flammable liquid with a primitive fuse.
It is a cheap, effective way to kill multiple zombies at once. If the situation
permits-e.g., fleeing an advancing horde, clearing a fireproof
structure, or destroying a flammable structure with multiple zombies
trapped in it-by all means, bombard the ghouls in question until nothing
is left hut ash.
2. DOUSING
The act of dousing consists of simply filling a bucket with flammable
liquid (gasoline, kerosene, etc.), throwing it at a zombie or zombies,
lighting a match, and mnning. If there is room for escape and no danger
of residual fire damage, the only drawback to this method is the
close proximity required to fully drench the enemy.
3. THE BLOWTORCH
The common torch, which consists of a propane tank attached to a nozzle,
has neither the heating power nor the fuel supply to bum through
a zombie skull. But it can be a convenient firestarter if the undead in
question have already been soaked in a flammable liquid.
54 Max Brooks
4. Tm FLAMETHROWER
This device, perhaps more than
any other, shikes people as the ultimate
zombie eliminator. A jet of
flame, two hundred feet long, composed
of jellied gasoline, can turn
an undead crowd into a wailing
funeral pyre. So why not acquire
one? Why not forsake all other
weapons for this man-made firebreathing
dragon? The answers are
as realistic as they are numerous.
The flamethrower was developed
purely as a military weapon and is
no longer in service with the U.S.
Army and Marine Corps. It would be difficult to find any model, let alone
one that works properly. Acquiring the fuel is even more dEcult than
the thrower. But assuming you can find both, you must consider its practical
use. Why cany seven0 pounds of equipment on your back when
only a handful of ghouls are loose? A flamethrower's weight makes it a
liability if you are on the move. Unless you are in a fixed position or have
access to motorized transport, sheer exhaustion will become as dangerous
a threat as the walking dead. Common sense would suggest that a
flamethrower's place on the battlefield is against overwhelming numbers,
swarms of undead numbering in the hundreds if not thousands. If
such a horde were, heaven forbid, to exist, chances are they would be facing
a much larger, well-equipped government force rather than one private
citizen and his trusty (and let's not forget illegal) flamethrower.
OTHER WEAPONS
Imagination and improvisation are two invaluable assets during
clashes with the living dead. By all means, feel free to regard all the
The Zombie Survival Guide 55
materials around you as a cache of potential weapons. But always keep
in mind a zombie's physiology, and what your homemade device is
likely to accomplish.
1. Acm
Apart from fire, sulfuric acid is the best
way to completely destroy a zombie.
Implementing it is another matter. If
somehow you have the means to acquire
or produce large amounts of sulfuric
acid, treat it with the same respect you
would an incendiary weapon. Not only
is this substance as much a danger to
yourself as it is to the undead, the time
it takes to dissolve zombie flesh and
bone is considerable. Acid should be
used as a post-encounter disposal tool
rather than a combat weapon.
2. POISON
As there are hundreds of thousands of
lethal compounds in this world, it is
impossible to discuss them all. Instead,
we will review some basic rules that govern the physical and physiological
makeup of the undead. Zombies are immune to all types of
tranquilizers and irritants such as Mace and tear gas. Any compound
designed to halt bodily functions would be equally impotent, as the
undead no longer require these functions. Zombies do not suffer from
heart attacks, nerve paralysis, suffocation, or any other fatal effects
caused by poison.
3. BIOLOGICAL WARFARE
Wouldn't it be poetic to destroy beings infected by a virus with another
virus? Unfortunately, this is not an option. %ruses attack only living
cells. They have no effect on the dead.
The same is true for all types of bacteria.
Several laboratory attempts have
been made to culture and spread necmtizing
fasciitis (a flesh-eating bacterial
disease) among captured zombies.
None have proved successful. Experiments
are now under way to grow a new strand of bacterium that
feeds only on dead flesh. Most experts are skeptical of its success.
Tests are ongoing to determine which of the many microorganisms
normally involved in decomposition continue to consume flesh in spite
of its infected nature. If these microbes can be isolated, reproduced,
and delivered in a manner not harmful to its user, they could be humanity's
first weapon of mass destruction in the battle against the living
dead.
4. ZOOLOGICAL WARFARE
Hundreds of creatures, great and small, feed on carrion. Employing
some of these animals to devour the dead before they devour the living
might seem the ideal solution. Unfortunately, all species, from hyenas
to fire ants, instinctively avoid zombies. The highly toxic nature of
Solanum appears to be encoded in the survival patterns of the animal
kingdom. This mysterious warning signal that Solanum emits, be it an
odor or some kind of "vibe" long forgotten
by humans, is impossible to
mask by any known substance. (See
"1911 A.D., Vitre, Louisiana," pages
215-16.)
5. ELECTROCUTION
As the zombie's muscular system is
basically that of a human, electricity
does have the ability to temporarily stun
or paralyze its body. Lethal results have
been seen only in extreme cases such as power lines used to completely
char a zombie's brain. This is not a "wonder weapon"-the
current that runs through power lines is enough to burn almost any
organic matter, living or undead, to a crisp. It requires twice the voltage
to stun a zombie that it does to stun a human, so common taser
guns are ineffective. Electricity bas been used to create a temporary
banier with water-filled, electrified ditches to keep ghouls paralyzed
long enough for a secondary fatal method to be employed. Several
such incidents have been recorded over the years.
6. RADIATION
Experiments are now being conducted to test
the effects of microwaves and other electromagnetic
signals on the brains of the undead, on
the theory that such a device could generate 0
massive, instant, lethal tumors in a zombie's gray matter. Research is
still in its early stages, and results have so far been inconclusive. The
only known instance when zombies came into contact with gamma
radiation occurred during the notorious Khotan Incident. (See "1987
A.D., Khotan, China," pages 234-35.) In this event, the ghouls were
not only unaffected by rads that would have killed humans, but they
threatened to spread their contamination throughout the province.
For the first time, the world glimpsed a new and even deadlier threat:
the radioactive zombie. As much as this sounds like the product
of bad 1950s science fiction, it is, or was, a very real and historically
significant fact. According to records, the radioactive ghouls possessed
no enhanced abilities or magical powers. The threat they
posed lay in their ability to spread deadly radiation to everything
and everyone they touched. Even people who drank from a water
supply the ghouls had touched died soon afterward from radiation
sickness. Fortunately, the outbreak was crushed by the overwhelming
power of the Chinese army. Not only did this solution put an end
to this new danger-it prevented the disaster of the Khotan reactor
going critical.
7. GENETIC WARFARE
Some recent proposals recommend a variety of genetic weapons in the
war against the undead. The first step would be to map the genetic
sequence of Solanum. Next, an agent would be developed to rewrite
that sequence, ordering the virus to suspend its attack on human tissue,
turn on itself, or simply self-destruct. Instead of retraining the
zombie, we would retrain the virus that controls the zombie. If successful,
any of these agents would be a revolutionary breakthrough in
combating the undead. Through genetic engineering we could find an
actual cure. Celebration of this breakthrough, however, will have to
wait. The science of genetic therapy is still in its infancy. Even with
media attention and massive financial resources, both of which are
nonexistent, an agent to combat the virus will have to remain a theory.
8. NAN~HERAPY
Nanotechnology, the study of microscopic machinery, is only in its
adolescence. At present, experimental computer chips are being made
that are no bigger than a molecule! One day robots that small will be
able to perform tasks within the human body. These nanobots, or whatever
the accepted term will be, will one day destroy cancer cells, repair
damaged tissue, even attack and destroy hostile viruses. Theoretically,
there is no reason why they could not he injected by the billions into
a recently infected human to identify the Solanum virus and eradicate
it from the system. When will this technology be perfected? When will
it find its way into the medical profession? When will it be adapted for
combating Solanum? Only time will tell.
ARMOR
Speed and agility should be your first defense against the walking
dead. Armor will not only decrease both these advantages that you
have over zombies, but it will also sap your energy during prolonged
conflict. Add the risk of dehydration, and the prospect seems even less
The Zombie Sunival Guide 59
attractive. One final, less obvious disadvantage to annor is not physical
but psychological: People wearing protective garb tend to feel more
confident and therefore take greater risks than those in simple clothing.
This artificial bravery has resulted in too many senseless deaths.
Simply put, the best protection from a zombie bite is distance. If for
some reason you insist on some type of protective gear, the following
summary will provide all the information necessq for prudent
decision-making.
1. PLATE MAIL
This could be defined as the classic "suit of armor." The term itself
conjures up images of seemingly invincible knights dressed from head
to toe in shining steel. With so much protection, wouldn't one be able
to wander among the undead ranks, taunting them at will with no danger
of repercussion? In truth, standard medieval armor is far from
invulnerable. The leather or metal joints that hold its many pieces
together can be tom apart by an individual's persistent hands, to say
nothing of a mob. Even intact, steel suits are heavy, cumbersome, suffocating,
dehydrating, and extremely noisy. If possible, study and wear
a real suit of armor and practice fighting in it against even one (mock)
attacker. You will find the experience uncomfortable at best, excmciating
at worst. Now imagine five, ten, fifty attackers, all converging on
your position, grabbing at the plates, pulling them in all directions.
Without the speed to outrun them or the agility to avoid them, even the
necessary vision to find and strike them, yon will almost certainly end
up as little more than canned food.
2. CHAW Man
If worn from head to toe, this simpler form of armor actually does provide
some protection from zombie bites. Teeth will be unable to penetrate
its links, thereby saving you from infection. Its flexibility allows
for greater movement and speed; its lack of a faceplate allows for
greater visibility. Its vev nature (unlike solid plates) allows the skin to
breathe and thereby cuts down on dehydration and overheating.
Drawbacks, however, are still plentiful. Unless you have been training
with this armor for years, your combat effectiveness is bound to be
impaired. Its weight can still increase exhaustion. Its general discomThe
fort can lead to unwanted distraction, something that must be avoided
in battle. Although chain mail may keep you safe from infection, the
pressure of a zombie bite may still be enough to crack bones, tear muscles,
or rip flesh within the armor. As with plate mail, the clanking of
so many chain links will signal to any nearby zombies that prey has
anived. Unless you want your presence announced, discount this idea
entirely. On a practical note, if you choose chain mail, make sure it is
battle-quality! Much of the medieval or ancient armor produced today
is for decoration or stage performance. For this reason, less expensive
alloys are used in their production. When purchasing your chain mail,
always ensure, through inspection and careful testing, that it can withstand
a zombie's bite.
3. THE SHARK SUIT
Although designed for protection against
shark bites, this mesh bodysuit can stand
up to the toughest undead jaws. Made of
either high-tensile steel or titanium, it
provides twice the protection of chain
mail with half the weight. Noise, however,
is still a factor, as well as physical
discomfort and decreased speed and
agility. Shark suits might come in handy
if hunting the dead underwater. (See
"Underwater Battles," pages 144-54.)
4. HELMETS
This type of armor would be invaluable
to ghouls, if only they knew enough to
wear them. To humans, they serve no
purpose other than obstructing vision.
Unless your battle is taking place in a
"hard hat area:' avoid this cumbersome
waste of space.
5. BULLETPROOF VESTS
Because almost all combat-related zombie bites occur on the limbs,
this and other torso armor are a total waste of time. One might consider
a bulletproof vest only in a chaotic situation in which there is a
chance of being shot by your own people. Even in this situation, the
misguided sniper would probably be going for a head shot.
6. KEVLAR COVERS
In recent years, law enforcement have begun to equip officers with this
light, ultra-strong material. While thicker, harder plates are used in
vests to stop bullets, a thinner, more flexible version is employed to
stop blades and the occasional guard dog. This new version, if covering
the lower legs and forearms, can help to reduce the risk of zombie
bites in close-quarter situations. If you do acquire Kevlar covers, make
sure to wear them only during battle, and do not draw any false bravery
from them! Many humans in the past have believed that Kevlar or
similar kinds of body armor gave them carte blanche to take unnecessary
risks. No armor in the world can protect a human from that kind
of stupidity. As stated before, your goal is to survive, only survive, and
never be a hero. Bravado in combat is the surest way to endanger yourself
and those around you!
7. TIGHT CLOTHES AND SHORT HAIR
Cold, hard figures have shown that when battling the living dead, nothing
has saved more victims than basic, tight clothing and closely
cropped hair. The simple fact is that ghouls attack by reaching out to
grab their victims, pulling them in, then biting. Logic dictates that the
less material a person offers up for grabs, the better his or her chances
will be. Baggy clothing, complete with pockets, straps, or anything
that might hang freely, will be a convenient handle for grasping zombie
claws. Anyone who has worked in factories or with some kind of
heavy machinery will tell yon the importance of never letting anything
hang loose. Tight clothing, obviously within comfort limits, will help
to eliminate this danger. Hair can be a similar hazard. Many times, victims
have been seized and even dragged by their hair to a gruesome
end. Tying one's hair back before a conflict may work temporarily.
However, a short haircut, one inch or shorter, is ideal for hand-to-hand
combat.