Job-Hunting Advice

[rkade8583]

My wife is 35, has Graves disease (no thyroid and needs medication and blood tests to regulate what's missing,) is six feet tall, overweight (from the Graves disease. She doesn't eat a damn thing,) can't speak Spanish, hasn't worked in damn near a decade (it took her doctor awhile to figure out what she had,) and didn't graduate college.

 

How in god's name can she compete in the Northern California job market? She wants to get on at a bookstore because she's really passionate about books but she keeps having these mini-meltdowns about how she's too old and the longer she keeps looking and not finding, the less likely she'll be to find a job.

 

I'm WAY too disabled to work (according to the Dept. of Rehab. AND Pride Industries) so... this is what I thought of to do that is productive to the situation. Any ideas?

[Guard Dog]

My advice would be to start a business. If she's passionate about books I'd start there. A used book business has a low overhead and low startup costs and if you are creative does not require a "brick and mortar" footprint. You can start with a website and a table at a local flea market or swap meet. You will have to do some legwork coming up with inventory (yard sales, library sales etc.)and you really have to keep the price point low since  you are "competing" with Amazon & e-readers in a way. But since most folks don't re-read book the idea of buying a used copy last years best-seller for $1 is still appealing.

 

The start up costs are low but not nothing and this is not a business model that will ever yield high earnings but if you are smart and careful you can grow it into a steady income stream. I'd be sure to make flyers and post them in high schools and community colleges. Those students always have reading assignments and are looking to save a few bucks.

 

Just an idea. I've got lots of those.

[rkade8583]

How? We live month-to-month on my disability. We're paying off credit cards at the tune of about $300 a month but we've still got around $5k to pay off between the two of us (short version: Arizona and a dishonest family member from eight years ago got my wife some traffic tickets we didn't know about until last year because bureaucracy.)

 

We live with my father who, while stupid, mean, draining, and stressful, lets us stay here rent free so we can pay off these debts she got saddled with.

[Barothmuk]

Yeah, don't know about your country but the book selling business is basically dead in mine. Major chains closed shop and all my local second-hand sellers seem to have disappeared over the past 2 years.

[rkade8583]

We've got the big chain that she's going to try and pester when she feels better (Graves disease is one hell of a kick when you can't get you twice-yearly blood tests to regulate the medication) and a couple of smaller mom-and-pops.

 

Basically what happened was she came out here for me, tried for a full two years to get a job anywhere (I'm talking 9-5 every weekday,) ran out of her meds, couldn't get on disability or a job in time, got riotously sick, and got nerve pain in her teeth. I got a credit card so she could get surgery done on her teeth, we got in a car accident that totaled her car (and scared me as I was in the passenger seat at the time,) so we've been without a car all this time. The bullcrap with Arizona came up last year which cost us $7000 all told (luckily I got a credit bump as did she,) and now she's feeling sick again because of the worry mixed with the wrong dosage of her meds. She FINALLY got on disability BUUUUT we never got any information on how to actually go to a doctor because why would they tell us that?

 

I get $900. She gets $200 in food stamps. We pay $300 on our credit cards and the rest goes to food, Internet (so we don't go crazy,) and... woman stuff (more Graves fun.) We're barely breaking even. I feel worthless and useless because I can't work ever because I'm a liability and the woman I love is losing her mind because she doesn't feel good enough to do... well, anything. Also, I'm the one that convinced her to come out here away from her crazy mother and she had to abandon her much younger brother and sister and I know THAT'S tearing her up too.

 

It's been 6 years and we're at our wits' end. I want to kill myself some nights (as I'm sure she does too) because I feel worthless and it's all my fault (again, as she does too.) We love each other but love ain't enough in this hard ol' world, y'know?

 

That was cathartic...

[pmp10]

Lower your work expectations to the absolute bottom-tier.

Or work for free and hope you meet someone that will take pity on you.

This sounds harsh but honestly without skills, experience, money or connections those may be the only options.

[rkade8583]

Trust me, she's on the lowest rung. The only reason she won't try fast food anymore is because too many places told her she was "overqualified" and didn't speak Spanish.

 

As for volunteer work, nobody wanted her when she tried prior to the accident, Overqualified. Why do they say that? Why can't they offer constructive reasons as to why she can't get hired ANYWHERE?

[Barothmuk]

That was cathartic...

Talking or even just writing about these things can help alleviate some degree of stress. Unfortunately (as I’m sure you’re aware) that’s probably the best you can get out of this post. You and your wife have evidently worked your arses off to stay afloat and there sure as hell isn’t some miracle answer to be found on an internet forum.

 

Best I can say is to talk with your wife, let her know you’re by her side and stick it out.

 

You have my absolute sympathies.

[rkade8583]

I did. She had a minor freak-out tonight when we were watching The Critic. Being old enough to remember a 20 year old show and then it went to how nobody would hire a 35 year old. I hugged her and calmed her down. I'm in it for the long haul and I'm not mad at her or anything. Like you said, we're doing everything we can think of. Thanks for the consolation. It helps.

 

I hate being crippled. I wish people had just told me I'd never be able to work instead of filling me with false hope. Then I wouldn't have my own freak-outs about being as useful as the government pays me to be. Does anyone think saving up a couple thou after we pay off the cards and getting computers for youtubing (and eventual Patreon pity) would be viable? We have good chemistry and I could talk about what makes a game cripple-friendly... while dying repeatedly on said game because I'm not 3 anymore and games aren't Atari 800xl simple anymore. It's long-term but my dad's got another 5 years at least. God I hate having to think in this moochy way even if he is a prick. I want to WORK! I want to CONTRIBUTE!

 

God DAMN these lungs!

[pmp10]

I can't speak for California but where I live fastfood is still quite a way from the bottom.

And I wouldn't pay attention to any reasoning from HR.

In my experience employment selections tend to be totally frivolous.

[Hurlshort]

I would move out of California.  I only stay here because they pay me better than anywhere else in the country.  Also Sacramento is still reeling from the recession, and it isn't going to get better with the drought.  You'll have a better time finding a job in a growing community.  Do you still get $900 a month anywhere in the country?  That will go farther outside CA. 

[rkade8583]

In an ideal world, she'd get a job at the chain and then we could transfer to Arizona (where her family lives.) Until we get some income, though, we're stuck here. As for disability, it depends on where you live, who you live with, etc. If it weren't for my dad, we'd be homeless. He only keeps us around because he needs to feel useful and "taking care of" physically disabled me and mentally disabled my younger brother makes him feel like he's doing good. At best, he gets in the way. At worst... well, he's done stuff that has ruined chances for us a few times.

 

PMP, what are you getting at? Manual labor is out because of her thyroid condition and... other things are out because she doesn't look the part, if you follow. We flatly refuse to do anything illegal. That's our line.

Edited April 11, 2015 by rkade8583

[Hurlshort]

Well that rules out the meth lab.  

[pmp10]

I didn't have this type of bottom in mind.

There are worse jobs out there and most are even mostly-legal.

But I hope your 'nothing illegal' stance doesn't go as far as no-lying in CVs and interviews?

[rkade8583]

Apartment complex. 2 rooms (one is ours.) Sorry to burst that bubble but we're disabled (to varying degrees) and disabled people get killed in prison... by the medical staff. Dying in combat is honorable...ish. Dying to an uncaring doctor is horrific. My mom had it happen to her (gangrene that nobody but my nose noticed.)

 

Pity Mom and the wife never met. They'd have gotten along like a meth lab on fire. (just to continue that joke.)

 

PMP, we don't lie as such... Even my blind class taught me how to market myself back in the day though.

Edited April 11, 2015 by rkade8583

[LadyCrimson]

(both of you) Home telemarketing work?

(your wife) Registered to all temp-agencies in the hope that at least occasionally they'll have a couple weeks of some type of menial office work or something available that can help build experience?

 

...my sympathies. Sounds like a tough situation and metro-Calif. is definitely a difficult place for such. :/

[Valsuelm]

 

My wife is 35, has Graves disease (no thyroid and needs medication and blood tests to regulate what's missing,) is six feet tall, overweight (from the Graves disease. She doesn't eat a damn thing,) can't speak Spanish, hasn't worked in damn near a decade (it took her doctor awhile to figure out what she had,) and didn't graduate college.

 

How in god's name can she compete in the Northern California job market? She wants to get on at a bookstore because she's really passionate about books but she keeps having these mini-meltdowns about how she's too old and the longer she keeps looking and not finding, the less likely she'll be to find a job.

 

I'm WAY too disabled to work (according to the Dept. of Rehab. AND Pride Industries) so... this is what I thought of to do that is productive to the situation. Any ideas?

 

 

35 isn't old. That's young by many people's standards.

 

Sacramento isn't exactly the sticks. There's definitely some jobs around there for her.

 

Apply.

 

Understate qualifications if need be. Have a 'can do', not a 'can't do' attitude.

 

And here's some generally good advice on interviews:

 

[rkade8583]

We can't do telemarketing because we have a sex offender living in this house and we can't afford a cell phone that isn't her mother's from Arizona. We tried TM in year 3. It... went badly. Some cops can be real ****.

 

As for temp agencies, she tried that before the accident too. Nothing. Seriously. 9 months and not one nibble.

Edited April 11, 2015 by rkade8583

[Valsuelm]

We can't do telemarketing because we have a sex offender living in this house and we can't afford a cell phone that isn't her mother's from Arizona. We tried TM in year 3. It... went badly. Some cops can be real ****.

 

As for temp agencies, she tried that before the accident too. Nothing. Seriously. 9 months and not one nibble.

 

What on earth does a sex offender living in your house have to do with telemarketing?

 

What on earth does telemarketing have to do with the police showing up at your house? Unless you've had someone complain of harassment?

 

You can afford games and the internet but not a cell phone? Why would you need a cell phone anyways? Landlines are ideal for telephone from home work.

 

Many if not most reputable companies that would have one work from home via phone would pay for that phone. I know a few people, including a family member, that have been doing work from home via phone for years, and every company they work for provides the hardware and landline as they want a secure and monitored communication line for their customers.

 

Temp agencies vary in quality, but even with the good ones you need to be proactive.

[rkade8583]

Many if not most reputable companies that would have one work from home via phone would pay for that phone. I know a few people, including a family member, that have been doing work from home via phone for years, and every company they work for provides the hardware and landline as they want a secure and monitored communication line for their customers.

 

Temp agencies vary in quality, but even with the good ones you need to be proactive.

 

Then we must not have been working for a reputable company because we had to use our landline and the cops came out to see why that line was calling these people. We were told, in no uncertain terms, to quit immediately.

 

She tried for 9 months as in she went back every 2 weeks to see if they had anything for her. She did it every other Monday.

 

Edit: I wasn't going to add this but the wife insisted. We buy me games for two reasons:

1. We haven't paid full price ($60) for a game in 4 years. Hell, we got PoE for $25.

2. We buy games so I'm distracted so my depression over my uselessness doesn't lead to my attempted suicide... again. Being utterly unable to help the woman I love because my body has and always will suck does take a toll one a guy.

Edited April 12, 2015 by rkade8583

[Hurlshort]

Read Dianetics or try Yoga.

[Namutree]

It's not a job, but if you need something productive to do in the meantime; I'd suggest growing edible veggies at home.

http://greatist.com/health/best-plants-to-grow-indoors