Cop arrests daughter's boyfriend

[Gorgon]

Well, excuse the hell out of me for not being good enough to reply to your thread. *Cough*douchebag*Cough*

[Hurlshort]

I've been called a bad teacher and a bad parent, and I am the douchebag?

[Malcador]

I've been called a bad teacher and a bad parent, and I am the douchebag?

 

Why do you care what they posted though, they're not parents, after all.

[Gorgon]

I'm not serious. I just don't think you have to be a parent to have an opinion about parenting. It's like when people go 'it's a black thing, you don't understand'.

 

In other words, I belong to an exclusive group and you can't play because you don't belong. I on the other hand have the weight of experience.

 

The thing is, while it may be true, it's not a real argument. It's grandstanding.

[Hurlshort]

I'd say calling for the guy's head is a bit of grandstanding as well. I've been very willing to to discuss what he did wrong, how he could handle the situation better, and so on. But he is an underpaid public servant and I'm not going to just throw him under the bus. His intention was to protect his daughter, and I am going to take that into consideration.

 

The story is also pretty incomplete. We don't know how the boy reacted to the cop at first. The cop hasn't issued any statement, we just have the word of a 15-year old boy. The parents aren't even releasing statements. Maybe the cop showed up at the house to talk and things went sideways. We just don't know, none of us know the boy or girl or the parents involved, and yet many of you are rushing in to condemn the cop about as fast as you can.

[Volourn]

"Why do you care what they posted though, they're not parents, after all. "

 

You, sir, are evil.

 

I'm still waiting to be informed what the kids were supposed to learn by this? What life elsson did the duaghter or the boy learn?

 

That's the thing. That's why this was an **** move by the crap cop. Nothing of value was done here. this wa snothing but self serving selfishness on his part and had absolutely NOTHING to do with good parenting. Parenting is about teaching and protecting and loving and respecting your children not hurting them, not controlliong them, not reacting selfishly and don't hateful and hurtful things because it makes you feel better.

 

Your only concern as a parent should be to helping your children boosting yourself.

Edited September 28, 2010 by Volourn

[Hurlshort]

So I'm guessing Volo is against spanking then?

 

Here is a quote, since you probably don't read the linked articles:

 

When asked if he had any thoughts about teenage sex, the boy said, "I wouldn't recommend it."

[Volourn]

Why should I answer your question when you don't answer anyone else's including my question.? Pathetic.

[I want teh kotor 3]

When asked if he had any thoughts about teenage sex, the boy said, "I wouldn't recommend it."

 

Yeah, 'cause he was ****ing assaulted for it. This is even more evidence that the cop needs punishment (and I don't mean a slap on the wrist)...

[Malcador]

I'd say calling for the guy's head is a bit of grandstanding as well. I've been very willing to to discuss what he did wrong, how he could handle the situation better, and so on. But he is an underpaid public servant and I'm not going to just throw him under the bus. His intention was to protect his daughter, and I am going to take that into consideration.

 

The story is also pretty incomplete. We don't know how the boy reacted to the cop at first. The cop hasn't issued any statement, we just have the word of a 15-year old boy. The parents aren't even releasing statements. Maybe the cop showed up at the house to talk and things went sideways. We just don't know, none of us know the boy or girl or the parents involved, and yet many of you are rushing in to condemn the cop about as fast as you can.

 

Usually people that don't deserve it get thrown under the bus, not people that lack the understanding of the boundaries of their position, or show absolutely horrible judgment. Other ways exist by which he could "protect" (dubious choice of word for all this) his daughter than what he did - the fact that he didn't shows he's got no discipline. So firing him isn't exactly unwarranted. Cops don't fake arresting people. If there was a crime involving his daughter, then have the boy arrested by another officer.

 

Why does how the boy reacted matter in all this ? If he roughed up the officer, well he'd be in jail (or probably shot/tasered, heh). As much as cops do get away with it, they can't handcuff, threaten or rough up someone because they sassed you (case in Montreal was funny of a lady arrested for telling a cop to F off, heh). Then again, police in most places seem to not understand what escalation is, end up having to show that they do, indeed, have balls all the time, etc.

 

 

The cop screwed the pooch hard on this, they want to be looked up to and respected, well better hold them to an impeccable standard, no ?

[Hurlshort]

Why should I answer your question when you don't answer anyone else's including my question.? Pathetic.

 

I answered your question directly with the quote from the article.

[Rosbjerg]

All right, time to cool off a bit.. No name calling or I'll have to use a little authority as well (I'll be gentle though )

 

Kudos for sticking to your believes though Hurlie, it's not easy when everyone disagrees with you.

[Calax]

I'd say calling for the guy's head is a bit of grandstanding as well. I've been very willing to to discuss what he did wrong, how he could handle the situation better, and so on. But he is an underpaid public servant and I'm not going to just throw him under the bus. His intention was to protect his daughter, and I am going to take that into consideration.

 

The story is also pretty incomplete. We don't know how the boy reacted to the cop at first. The cop hasn't issued any statement, we just have the word of a 15-year old boy. The parents aren't even releasing statements. Maybe the cop showed up at the house to talk and things went sideways. We just don't know, none of us know the boy or girl or the parents involved, and yet many of you are rushing in to condemn the cop about as fast as you can.

Except that in order to file the criminal complaint the kid would have gone through his parents (who in the initial article you linked had been stated to be "outraged" and were as surprised and scared of the cop as their son). Also they were the ones to shoot the video, I'm pretty sure they wouldn't be allowing their 15 year old kid to completely screw up his life by committing perjury.

 

I don't understand how you can't ask for this irresponsible, emotional cop who appears to lack self restraint and good judgement when under stress to stand down or to have him fired. After all, if he does this to his own family, what the heck is he going to do when he encounters a similar situation during the course of his job? Fake arrest a random kid he doesn't even know and give him "the speech"? Just arrest the minor and charge him as a sex offender and make him have to jump through stupid amounts of hoops to even try to live a normal life?

[~Di]

I may regret this post, but I must say that I'm kind of taken aback by the tone of posts in this thread. I get that most of you don't identify with the parent in this topic... and appear not to like cops much, since they are apparently not allowed human emotion or mistakes ... and that's okay. Our perspectives change with life experiences, including our own growing years, whether we had siblings, whether those siblings were younger and we were protective of them, whether those siblings were older and we were protected by them, whether those siblings were male or female, or both... by our own gender (yep, boys and girls see life through differing prisms), and by our own parental status. I get that. I would actually have thought that everyone would get that, but this thread appears to imply otherwise.

 

What has disappointed me are the personal insults being issued because Hurlshot and I and one or two others simply do not share your viewpoints about this particular situation. While railing about the bullying and verbal abuse levied at the boy by the parent/cop, some posters are doing exactly the same thing to those in this thread who hold an opinion they disagree with.

 

This forum usually can discuss controversial topics and differing opinions without the vitriol being expressed here, and I flat don't understand it. It's almost as if the simple act of us understanding that distraught and angry parents can make bad decisions that they later regret makes us legitimate targets of contempt. Perhaps it's time to take a step back, agree to disagree, and go back to being civil, courteous posters sharing a forum that most of us have frequented and enjoyed for many years. Please?

[Gorgon]

Seems to me that abuse of power is more important than whether or not he is a nice guy with kids and a mortgage. It's still off with the head on principle.

[Hurlshort]

Seems to me that abuse of power is more important than whether or not he is a nice guy with kids and a mortgage. It's still off with the head on principle.

 

Well, we all agree that an abuse of power took place. The argument here is how serious was the abuse. He used his handcuffs inappropriately, I can concede to that. He was hard on the kid verbally.

 

He didn't rough him up. He didn't take out a gun. He didn't tazer him. He didn't drive him downtown to booking, he didn't press charges, he isn't even the one that filed the report (which makes sense.) He didn't bring other cops in on it, he didn't trump up charges or plant evidence. He didn't confiscate the cell phone, he didn't threaten the parents, he didn't blah blah blah blah. There are a lot of different types of abuse out there.

 

As I said, the use of the cuffs deserves a reprimand. Appearing uniform deserves a reprimand, it was a personal matter. But was he in the wrong to go off on the kid verbally? I'm not convinced of that at all. This wasn't some honor roll kid, it was a kid with a record for assault, a kid the cop had already had a talk with, and a kid who clearly lacks respect for the parents of his girlfriend. The kid WAS stupid, and I have a hard time feeling bad about the fact he was told so.

[Calax]

Hurlshot, you've said twice now that the kid had a record for assault but in the article I remember no mention of this. In the video he mentions taking the kid into custody on an assault, but nothing else along those lines.

 

I don't understand why you keep insisting that "he's human, he's allowed to make mistakes" as if that's some sort of excuse to lighten his punishment. Shall we run down a list of crimes he possibly comitted?

 

Trespassing

Impersonating an officer of the law

Abuse

Unlawful detention

and in the realm of police regs he

Got involved in a personal situation as if he were on the job

Misuse of government property

Ethics violations.

 

Now then, assuming any of the first four get carried, there is no way he should be allowed to stay on the force. None what so ever. The other three are mainly up to the department but with the amount of flack they appear to be getting over this I'd guess that they would probably toss him for damaging the image of the organization, and failing to uphold himself as an officer.

 

We are not asking him to divorce his emotions from his job in general, however we are asking him to keep private things private, and not use his power as a cop to threaten the well being of a member of society simply because the kid was doing something the officer didn't like but is fairly normal for that age group anymore. And it was fairly obvious he would, if he thought the kid was still being an uppity git after this had gone through and the kid not filed charges, use his powers as a cop to make the kids life a living hell of going in and out of court because this officer would hit the kid with every technicality and charge he could.

 

That is the most frightening part, the fact that this father, by virtue of simply being a cop, would be able to put somebody in jail ultimately for sleeping with his daughter. Not because the kid broke the law, but because the kid was sleeping with his daughter. Before you say "but the kid had broken the law and should be tossed in jail!" think about this. Had the two young lovers not been directly related to him when he caught them, he probably would have simply pulled them apart, dropped them at their parents houses after a tiny lecture, and told the parents and thought nothing more. No threats of arrest or harassment, no scare tactics, nothing else.

[I want teh kotor 3]

And this is why government-sponsored morality is bad...

[Oblarg]

This wasn't some honor roll kid, it was a kid with a record for assault, a kid the cop had already had a talk with, and a kid who clearly lacks respect for the parents of his girlfriend. The kid WAS stupid, and I have a hard time feeling bad about the fact he was told so.

 

This is not only completely irrelevant, but is also unsubstantiated and, to a point, bigoted. You don't know this kid. You're automatically siding with the authority figure because he's an authority figure. You speak of respect for his girlfriend - how could you possibly know any of the details about their relationship? That's absurd. Two teenagers had sex. This is not a terrible tragedy, it is what teenagers often do. It's a natural part of puberty. The automatic assumption that this kid was a scumbag and "deserved it" is, to me at least, despicable.

 

And even if we were to assume (with very little evidence) that this kid had less-than-innocent intentions (in doing what? having sex?), that still has very little bearing on the fact that this police officer had no place to trespass on a family's property to abuse his power for the purpose of scaring the crap out of a young teenager. That is not the type of person I want upholding our laws.

[Hurlshort]

I didn't say anything about the kid's respect towards the girl. I said he was disrespectful to the parents of the girl. Given that the dad states he had talked to the kid previously, it is a fairly obvious conclusion that the parents disapprove of their daughter having sex. I doubt that was a secret to the boy or the girl.

 

It doesn't matter what age you or me or anyone else thinks it is alright to have sex at, it matter what the parents of the girl believe in. She is their child, their ward, living under their house. Both the boy and the girl should respect the parent's wishes, and expect consequences when they don't. I'm really shocked that there is this attitude that this was just some lovestruck naive boy. This whole 'protect the boy from consequences' shtick does nothing for me.

[Volourn]

"What has disappointed me are the personal insults being issued because Hurlshot and I and one or two others simply do not share your viewpoints about this particular situation. While railing about the bullying and verbal abuse levied at the boy by the parent/cop, some posters are doing exactly the same thing to those in this thread who hold an opinion they disagree with. "

 

It's childish, but you and Hurlshot started it by insulting all of us whoa rgued against you guys because we don't have kids.m Thankfully, I know my share of aprents who would NOT side with this piece of crap cop because he's a horrible excuse for a cop, human, and parent.

 

btw, I have no issue with GOOD cops. This guy is a BAD ccop. I have no issue with a GOOD parent. This guys is a BAD parent.

This cop is a criminal piece of crap who needs to lose his badge before he absuses more innocent people.

 

And, yes, this kid is innocent. And, this adult abused him and should be charged with child abuse. He physically attacked him, and since he's a minor that's considered child abuse. Period.

 

 

Thankfully, most parents see this guy as the scumbag he is. btw, The parents of the boya re parents and they agree that this guy is scum.

 

Throw him in the trash with the rest of the child abusers.

[Oblarg]

I didn't say anything about the kid's respect towards the girl. I said he was disrespectful to the parents of the girl. Given that the dad states he had talked to the kid previously, it is a fairly obvious conclusion that the parents disapprove of their daughter having sex. I doubt that was a secret to the boy or the girl.

 

It doesn't matter what age you or me or anyone else thinks it is alright to have sex at, it matter what the parents of the girl believe in. She is their child, their ward, living under their house. Both the boy and the girl should respect the parent's wishes, and expect consequences when they don't. I'm really shocked that there is this attitude that this was just some lovestruck naive boy. This whole 'protect the boy from consequences' shtick does nothing for me.

 

I'm quite personally shocked that you're willing to paint this kid almost as some sexual predator who just couldn't wait to exploit the girl. You're painting him as a scumbag when you have next to no reason to do so. All pubescent kids are, to some extent, rebellious and disrespectful to authority figures. Does that mean the best solution is to scare them because "they deserve it?" No, that just leads to bad parenting.

 

I don't know how disconnected you may be from youth culture in the US, but the first thing a teen does when he wants to have sex is not to ask his potential partner's parents if they think it's a good idea. Whether or not you agree with it, it's true. This kid was not being exceptionally disrespectful or inconsiderate, he was being a teenager. Teenagers occasionally do stupid things. He was in no way deserving of the stunt this cop pulled, and I don't think anyone who would do such a thing should be a police officer. This is a police officer who, outside of official duty, used his position of power to come uninvited and unannounced to the kids house, slap handcuffs on him, and yell at him ("stupid piece of ****?" And this is a police officer?). This wasn't some well-intentioned lecture, this was a ****ing blatant abuse of power for personal reasons.

 

As for insults, I do believe it was Hurlshot who first called everyone who didn't agree with him a bunch of "hooligans," so you really don't have any reason to bring that up as if it's only occurring towards you.

Edited September 29, 2010 by Oblarg

[Rosbjerg]

As for insults, I do believe it was Hurlshot who first called everyone who didn't agree with him a bunch of "hooligans," so you really don't have any reason to bring that up as if it's only occurring towards you.

 

It really doesn't matter who started it, the important thing is that it ends..

 

 

Let's drop the "he/you started it" argument and focus on the actual discussion (and let's be civil with whoever disagrees with us)

[Orogun01]

So it's up to the parents to oversee their child sex life and give her to whom they approve? Let's be reasonable, first their son/daughter's virtue belongs to themselves and it's theirs to give. Parents are there to protect them from bad choices not to make them for them, it's all very circumstantial. Had this been another family with a more understanding stepfather things may have gone differently.

[kirottu]

I have to agree with pretty much everyone else than Hurlshot and Di.

 

He was a bad cop. He abused his position of power to scare a teenage boy.

 

He was a bad parent. Those two teenagers were right at that age where telling them they are not allowed to do something is the best way to get them to do it.